Hello! Just wanted to pop on here to stay Invisible String turned 1 this weekend! A whole year of writing this story, it's crazy, and I can't believe some of you have stuck around for this long. I hope you continue to enjoy their story, and as always, I wanna say thank you for the reviews and love.
- xx
Santana was awoken early on the morning of her 30th birthday; to soft kisses being peppered all over her face. She scrunched her face up in protest, too tired to instantly appreciate the gesture, causing Brittany to giggle quietly. Santana was such a heavy sleeper usually, so Brittany hadn't intended to waken her.
"Sorry baby, I just couldn't resist. I had to make sure I appreciated you right on time because exactly 30 years ago today, you were born, and I couldn't be more grateful for that."
Rubbing the sleep from her eyes and beginning to feel more alert, Santana glanced over at the clock on her bedside table, observing it was indeed 5:34am. She felt her heart flutter at the fact Brittany remembered that and turned back over to greet her with a kiss.
"Hi" she whispered, feeling slightly guilty for not being quite as chirpy when she was first woken up.
"Hi yourself, birthday girl. How does it feel to be thirty?"
At this Santana scrunched her face up once more.
"Man, I feel old as fuck, I already felt it last month on Mila's birthday, just knowing I have an 11-year-old, but now I've officially left my twenties. Gross!"
"You're not old honey" Brittany assured her, not being able to resist another kiss on Santana's nose "Far from it! More beautiful every day though? That I'll agree with."
Santana grinned shyly, before bringing her eyes to meet blue again.
"You know what else today is?"
"12 years since our first kiss." Brittany whispered "You remembered."
"I may not physically remember it, but ever since you told me, I'll never let myself forget it."
"Imagine if someone had told us back then what we'd go through to finally end up with each other. I don't think we would have believed them" Brittany giggled, Santana joining in with the quiet laughter, both of them careful not to wake Mila.
"I know. And I know that we're happy now and I'm so grateful we're here but…sometimes I can't help think about all the "what if's", you know? Like what would have happened if I remembered. Taking away the Mila of it all, because I know neither one of us could imagine life without her, I wonder what it would have been like if my first time would have been with you. Because that's probably what would have happened, isn't it? Maybe not that night because we were both wasted, but if I remembered the morning after, we probably would have gotten together and my first time would have been with you. It would have been special."
"But that doesn't matter now, San. Just like I told you back then, your first time doesn't define you. It physically hurt to see how pained you were that night, how Puck just left you so upset and scared, and how he made no effort to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I remember thinking even back then that if it were me, and if I'd had that honour to show you love in that way, I would have done it so different. But I hope I show you now when I make love to you, just how incredible you are, and treat you how you always deserved to be treated."
"You do" Santana nodded assuringly, placing a soft peck against Brittany's lips "And it's not that I think about it deeply often, but I think the way I lost my virginity messed me up more than I realised. For years I saw sex as just a way to try feel good about myself, but ended up feeling the opposite. All this validation I was trying to seek from men, when really I was warring with my feelings, and ignoring who I was inside. All the years pretending to be something I'm not when I could have been happy with you all this time, a person who makes me feel confident and not full of doubts. I spent years feeling like I wasn't good enough and didn't deserve real love, all because of that one night with Puck. It's probably why I didn't figure out my sexuality until later in life, and why I didn't realise my feelings for you earlier. It's like we were destined to be together as teenagers, and for whatever reason we weren't, but I can't help think about what it would have been like if we were. I probably would have been a whole different person."
"You probably would be, but I love you for the person you are today, Santana Lopez. Everything you have been through has shaped you into who you are now, and who you are now is someone that I am so ridiculously in love with, and someone I can't believe I'm lucky enough to love. What matters it the here and now and the future, and I'm never going to stop showing you how special you are."
Santana smiled shyly at that.
"You're the most special person I know Santana, and one day you're going to be with someone who shows you just how special and loved you are- that's what you said to me that night."
"You remember that word for word?" Brittany smiled, touched.
Santana nodded.
"Yes because…I wanted so badly for that to be true. And it did come true. It came true with you and I've never felt so loved and so cherished in my whole life. Maybe that's why I begrudge the fact it could have happened sooner but…you're right, we're here now."
"And we have the whole rest of our lives together now." said Brittany, her words slightly loaded as she thought about the gift she had for Santana, something she had thought long and hard about. After this conversation, she felt more sure than ever about it.
Santana hummed softly and lay her head on Brittany's chest, as Brittany wrapped her arms around her.
"Tell me how it would have happened, if our first time had have been together."
Brittany looked down at Santana, her eyes were closed, her face wearing a relaxed smile. She loved this soft side of Santana that so few got to see. The side that needed assurance and to feel loved, the side that would say "I love you" so often just so she could hear it back. Maybe some people would find it too intense or label Santana needy, but Brittany understood Santana's scars, and why she needed validation so much. She would happily tell Santana she loved her a thousand times a day if she needed to hear it, and she would happily tell her stories of what could have been, just like Santana used to tell Brittany stories of what their life in New York would be. Ironically that never became a reality, but it was okay, because their future together was even brighter.
"Well I would have wanted it to be really special for you, because I'd already had my first time, and I knew how important yours was to you and how much you had riding on it. You were 18 so I could have gotten us a hotel in your name, or maybe it would have been at my place, when our parents were out. I would have done the whole cliche thing with candles and music thinking that's what you wanted, but really I'd just hope that the love I had, would be enough for you." As Brittany spoke, she began to place kisses against Santana trailing downwards, before settling on her neck as she continued;
"Or maybe we wouldn't have planned it at all, and it would have just happened, similar to how my first time went. But it definitely wouldn't have happened in a POS car, and afterwards I wouldn't have left you like he did. I would have held you all night, because sometimes the 'afterwards' is the best and most intimate part, seeing you all vulnerable and satisfied. And I would have whispered in your ear about the way you made me feel, just hoping you knew how amazing you are."
Santana hummed contently, both at Brittany's words, and at the sensation of the kisses she was placing against her neck. Things were getting heated and Santana wasn't complaining. As if she could read Santana's mind, Brittany hovered over Santana, her face close and her voice husky with desire.
"I want to show you now how amazing you are."
Santana couldn't help the groan that escaped her mouth as Brittany brushed against her lip before pulling her into a searing kiss.
Before long, what little clothes they had on were abandoned and Brittany had every intention of pleasuring the birthday girl, but equally Santana was putting up a fight for dominance.
As Santana moved her hands down Brittany's body, Brittany gently took a hold of them and pinned them down, nipping teasingly against Santana's ear before whispering into it.
"This is all about you, birthday girl."
Santana moaned once more at the feel of Brittany's warm breath against her, and wandering hands.
"Tell me what you want, baby." Brittany whispered.
Santana enjoyed the feeling of Brittany's hand grazing over her breasts, aware of the heat rising from all the want she had, as she thought about Brittany's request. By now Brittany was attacking her abdomen with kisses, teasing her mouth lower, until Santana gently raised her up back to her face.
"You. That's what I want." Santana said simply.
Brittany frowned in confusion, and it wasn't until Santana positioned Brittany on her knees, thighs bracketing either side of Santana's face that Brittany understood what she wanted. Brittany bit her lip with pleasure as Santana lowered her down, unable to turn back now.
Of course Santana loved being touched by Brittany, but truthfully, nothing turned her on more than being the one to pleasure Brittany and to watch her come undone. If Brittany wanted her to tell her what she wanted, this was it, to be surrounded fully by her girlfriend. And though she had gone down on Brittany many times by now, this was a position they had never tried before, but as Brittany's hips bucked hard against her she knew it would be something they did more often.
"That was…" Brittany panted breathlessly afterwards, unable to even get the words out, feeling completely sated.
"I know." Santana grinned, punctuating her statement with a kiss, which Brittany deepened as she tasted herself on Santana's lips.
That was how they spent the next twenty minutes, sharing lazy kisses as Brittany came back down to earth, before she reluctantly rolled out of bed after seeing the time.
"You should get dressed baby, Mila will be in soon, and make sure you pretend to be asleep when we come in. We can't go breaking tradition."
"I'll get my best acting skills out then." Santana laughed. She knew Brittany and Mila were doing one of their surprise breakfasts, which were so traditional now that they seemed less like a surprise, but of course she'd play along for the sake of her daughter.
Brittany handed Santana her pyjamas and bent down to give her one last lingering kiss.
"And don't think I won't return the favour later." she whispered, heading out of the door with a wink, leaving Santana hoping "later" came around quick.
30 minutes later Brittany and Mila arrived in the room with the pancakes, and Brittany stifled a laugh as she heard Santana's attempt at fake snoring, but luckily Mila was none the wiser.
"Wake up Mama, it's your special day!" she said excitedly, carefully balancing the tray that Brittany had allowed her to carry, while she handled the gifts.
Santana carried on pretending to sleep, because if she was really trying to act like she hadn't been awake for two hours, there was no way she'd wake up so easy.
"Mama, come on!" Mila bellowed impatiently.
Brittany shook her head with laughter as she watched her girlfriend do the biggest fake yawn and stretch she had ever seen.
"What? What time is it?" Santana mumbled, putting on her best groggy voice.
"It's almost 7:30 baby, we'd love to let you sleep in longer, but we can't waste any time on your 30th birthday!" Brittany answered, playing along with everything.
As soon as Santana opened her eyes, Mila let out a toothy grin, holding the tray out proudly.
"Happy birthday, Mama!"
"Thank you my angel!" she said, taking the tray from her daughter and placing a big kiss on cheek "Pancakes huh!? Aren't I the luckiest mama ever!"
"Well Aunty Brit helped too, of course!"
"Of course did she did, I'm the luckiest girlfriend ever too." she added, puckering her lips for Brittany to come over and give her a kiss.
Santana ate her breakfast, even though she wasn't the hungriest for something as sweet as pancakes this early in the morning, she couldn't let her girls down after all the effort they'd made for her. Then it was time for presents, and she had been truly spoiled, with gifts including a bottle of her favorite perfume and a hotel style robe, after Santana had commented how much she loved hotel robes on their last stay in New York. Her favorite present though, was a simple framed photo of the 3 of them, taken by Quinn on their first family trip together. Brittany and Santana sat side by side, Brooklyn Bridge in the background, as Mila sat on Brittany's knee with her legs draped over Santana. It was the perfect family photo.
"Come here, both of you. You've absolutely spoiled me!" Santana said gratefully, holding an arm out at either side for both girls. "I couldn't ask for a better birthday, waking up to all this, with both of my girls."
While Brittany went to clear the empty plates, Mila and Santana remained cuddled up in bed, before Brittany came in to remind Mila to get ready for school.
"I think you need to start getting ready for school sweetheart, I'll take you in today, Mama needs to get ready for her birthday treat with Abuela. Don't worry though, I have lots of birthday fun planned for the three of us after school."
Mila pouted and clung tightly on to Santana who dropped a kiss on her head.
"Go on baby, do as Aunty Brit says. You don't want to be late."
Reluctantly Mila left the room, and Santana frowned in confusion.
"What birthday treat?"
"With you and your mom, it's all arranged. You're going to the salon. She's picking you up at 10."
"You're not joining us?" Santana asked.
"No, I thought I'd let you and your mom have some quality time together. Her biggest baby is 30, it's got to be a pretty emotional day for her. Plus we have the whole rest of the day to spend together."
It wasn't a lie, Brittany did think it would be nice for them to spend time alone as mother and daughter, though realistically she probably would have joined if this wasn't all part of her master plan to have the house to herself so she could plan something for Santana. Santana in particular wanted the two of them to be joined at the hip at the moment, and Brittany knew it wouldn't last forever, that it was probably just down to the fact Santana wasn't used to the fact this was it now. It wasn't just a short trip, they were actually doing life together. But in the meantime, it made planning anything for Santana's birthday ridiculously hard.
But luckily Santana was now out of the house for a couple of hours at least and it gave Brittany the chance to do what she wanted to do. As she arranged the dining room to her liking, her phone started to ring.
"Hi Quinn, how are you?" Brittany said softly, it was a couple of days since they had spoken, and she and Santana had of course checked in on her but they were careful not to probe. They knew Quinn had spoken to Finn now, and they knew she would talk to them when she had something more to say on the whole situation.
"I'm doing okay thanks Brit, how are you?"
"Yeah doing great thanks. Just trying to get some things sorted for Santana's birthday while she's out the house."
"That's what I was calling for actually. I called her first but she didn't pick up. I was hoping to drop her birthday gift round but I can stop by later if she's not in at the moment. Unless you guys have plans of course, I don't want to intrude."
Quinn sounded nervous, and that made Brittany sad, she just hoped Quinn was dealing with the pregnancy news and not burying her head in the sand over it. She decided her surprise could wait and that it would be best to invite Quinn around to see if she was okay.
"Oh don't be silly, Quinn. You know we always love to see you. She actually went out with Maribel, but she'll be back in the next 30 minutes or so if you want to head over."
"Sure?"
"Surer than sure."
"Okay, well I'll see you in around 15 minutes then."
Brittany smiled in appreciation at the room she had prepared, before shutting the door behind her, as she waited on Quinn's arrival. When she arrived, Brittany urged her to sit down as she got her a drink, thinking she'd leave any questions about the baby until Santana arrived. Quinn looked slightly on edge, and Brittany thought she must have come around to talk to them, as well as to give Santana her gift.
They were just talking casually when they heard the door go, signalling Santana's return.
"Just in here babe" Brittany shouted, careful to make sure that Santana didn't enter the dining room, where her surprise was waiting. "You've got a visitor."
The sound of Santana's heels got closer as she opened the door curiously, her face lighting up with a smile as she saw her best friend sitting there.
"Hey, Q!" she said, as she went over to embrace her.
"Happy birthday, Santana!" Quinn replied, squeezing her tight "Thirty and thriving, huh?"
"Thirty and trying…" Santana laughed, but Brittany and Quinn couldn't disagree more. Both of them were so proud of everything Santana had achieved in her 30 years, especially the last 12.
"These are for you, I hope you like!" Quinn smiled, wiggling the gift bag, before handing it over to Santana.
Quinn had gifted her a gorgeous expensive-looking silk scarf, a spa break for two, and a bottle of champagne for good measure. Quinn always went fancy with her gifts, but with it being a special birthday, she'd gone a bit further. After Santana thanked her and another round of hugs, Quinn pulled away to reach behind her, she had that nervous look about her again.
"Oh and here's your card. Brit, you might want to open this one with her."
Santana and Brittany momentarily looked at each other in confusion, as Quinn handed Santana the card, and Brittany took a seat on the couch, next to Santana so she could read over her shoulder.
As soon as they read the card, Santana moved her hand to her mouth and Brittany gasped, now it made sense why Quinn had asked them to open it together.
"You're keeping the baby?" Santana asked, eyes watering.
Quinn nodded, her eyes were now also watering, and her face was no longer nervous as she wore a big grin.
Santana looked back down at the card which read "Happy Birthday to the best Aunty", tracing her finger around the small blob on the sonogram, that had been printed onto the card.
"Have a look inside." Quinn encouraged.
To my Aunty Santana,
I know I'm only very small at the moment, but I can't wait to come into the world and meet you and Aunty Brit, and of course my very special cousin Mila.
Have the best birthday ever!
Lots of love,
Baby Hudson
xxx
Now both Santana and Brittany were crying. It wasn't like this was a huge surprise to them, but neither of them had expected Quinn to come around today with this news, they didn't think Quinn had decided on what to do yet. And to see the words "Aunty Santana" and "Aunty Brit" and the sonogram with the words "Baby of Quinn and Finn" made everything seem so real.
Another round of emotional hugs were given, before they sat back down again to talk more about it.
"So how many weeks are you?" Santana asked, glancing down at the sonogram again. They'd certainly come on since she'd had hers with Mila.
"Just passed 6 weeks. I'm due on December 23rd."
"A little Christmas baby." Brittany grinned.
"And Finn?" Santana questioned.
"Was just like you both said he would be." Quinn smiled "Shocked, but extremely supportive, and really happy. It was him that insisted we go get an early scan, just to see how everything was looking. I was so nervous and unsure about all this, but the minute I saw my baby on screen, I just…"
Quinn became overcome with emotion, and Brittany and Santana both nodded understandingly, because both of them knew that feeling all too well.
"Meels is going to be so happy!" Santana said, as Brittany smiled in agreement.
"I know, I cant wait to tell her. I figured we'd wait a bit though. We're not telling anyone yet because, well…it's early days, you know?" Quinn looked over at Brittany uneasily as she said that, but Brittany smiled, letting her know that it was okay to say.
"Of course, Q! Well I hope you know how excited we are to meet this little one! And if you need anything at all, you know to just ask." Santana said, standing to give Quinn another hug.
"I know, and I really can't thank you both enough for all your support during this. It means a lot to me. Enough of the sap now though! I blame my hormones for this."
As Quinn gathered her stuff to leave and give the girls some alone time, she turned to Santana.
"Ooh San, that reminds me! That spa day I got you, well it was going to be for us two. I bought it before I knew Brit was going to move here and obviously before I found out I was pregnant, and I can't really use any of the facilities now, so you two should make use of it instead. How about I take you out for lunch on Saturday instead, and we can fit some bestie time in then?"
"Well, if you're sure. We can just wait and use it when you've had the baby if you want? It'll be something nice for you to look forward to because I mean, I won't lie to you Q- labour is pretty rough. You're gonna need all the pampering you can get afterwards."
"No, you two take it. It'll be nice for you. We can think about doing another one, once this one is here." Quinn smiled as she patted her bump. "Saturday then? Lunch. My treat."
"Saturday it is." Santana agreed.
With Quinn gone it was time for the surprise, and while Santana was in the bathroom, Brittany seized her chance. When she heard Santana's footsteps plodding back down the stairs, she called out to her.
"San? Can you come to the dining room please?"
Santana headed over to the closed door, wondering what Brittany was up to. It had been a while since breakfast, so she thought that maybe Brittany had prepared her a meal. When she gently pushed open the door, she wasn't expecting the sight before her at all, as she found her girlfriend sitting amongst what looked like 100s of lilies. The beautiful sight choked Santana up.
"Oh my God" she breathed, glancing around the room in awe. "Are these all lilies?"
Brittany glanced around and nodded proudly, before standing to approach her girlfriend, holding just one of the lilies, playing with the stem delicately.
"They're the lesbian of flowers" she said simply. She wanted Santana to know how much thought she had put into this, and that it was more than just a grand gesture. "It also means…"
"I dare you to love me?" Santana finished, remembering how she and Brittany had watched 'Imagine Me and You' together a few years ago, before they were together. Both girls had felt the same intense pining after watching it, hoping they too would end up together, but neither of them had known how the other felt at the time.
"I dared you to love me for years." said Brittany, reaching out to tuck a hair behind Santana's ear "And now you do love me, and here we are." she tucked the single lily into Santana's palm, as Santana's eyes watered.
"This is…" Santana swallowed her emotion, looking around the room again, admiring just how romantic Brittany was and how no one had ever gone to efforts like this for her before "this is so special Brittany."
"Well…" Brittany smirked, moving closer to Santana's face and ghosting against her lips "Just like I told you this morning, you're special Santana."
Santana dropped the lily and wrapped her arms tightly around Brittany's neck, closing the gap between them to kiss her silly. Thirty was off to the best start.
As Santana's 30th birthday came to an end, she let out a content sigh. It had been a perfect day from start to finish, from morning sex with Brittany, to breakfast in bed with both of her girls, to a morning spent with her mother, finding out she was going to be aunty, to walking into a room filled with lilies and then spending the rest of the day with her little family once Mila had got home from school. They had let Mila stay up later than usual to finish watching a film with her and now she was tucked in the middle of both girls, with both of them fast asleep. Mila had her head in Santana's lap, as Santana gently ran her hands through it, while Brittany had her head on her shoulder. It wasn't even 10pm but she guessed the early start for them had worn Brittany out. It was a far cry from the antics of her 18th birthday where their story all began. As she leaned over to kiss Brittany on the head, and then did the same to Mila, she knew she wouldn't have it any other way. It was definitely her best birthday yet.
She turned to Brittany again and gently shook her awake.
"Baby?" she waited for Brittany to open her eyes and come to before continuing "You fell asleep. Come on, let's go to bed."
Brittany stretched and shook herself awake, Santana telling her she'd be up in a minute, she was just going to put Mila to bed, turn off the lights and lock up.
After she had done just that, she walked into their bedroom expecting to find Brittany fast asleep, but instead she found her standing in the middle of the room looking nervous. Their room was glowing with fresh candlelight, which perfectly illuminated Brittany's soft features.
She walked over to the blonde with a questioning smile, as Brittany placed her hands on Santana's hips.
"I still need to give you your actual birthday present."
Santana momentarily wrinkled her face in confusion. She'd had her presents this morning, and even though they were "from Mila", it was obviously Brittany that had paid for them. On top of that she'd had the New York trip and then a room filled with lilies which must have been crazy expensive. Surely Brittany couldn't have gotten her anything more, but then Santana remembered Brittany's promise from this morning about returning the favour, and pulled Brittany towards her with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"Oh you do, huh?" she said, cupping Brittany's ass.
"Not yet." Brittany giggled, catching on to Santana's thought process "there's something I actually physically need to give you first."
"Okay?" Santana giggled in confusion, Brittany's obvious nerves were making her nervous too.
"Santana, I love you. And the way you make me feel loved makes me feel like anything is possible. And I know I tell you all the time that this is it forever, and you seem to believe me, but I also know how full of doubts you are. I know sometimes you think this is too good to be true, and that you're not good enough, and that one day you'll wake up and this will all have been a dream. But it's not. It's not a dream. It's our life now, forever. Which is why I wanted to get you this…"
Santana watched as Brittany removed a small red box from her pocket, her heart was in her throat, her eyes darting furiously. Was this really happening?
Noticing Santana's expression, Brittany spoke out.
"It's not an engagement ring, don't worry." She laughed shyly, but the sigh that came out of Santana's mouth wasn't a sigh of relief, it was one of disappointment. Because even though she and Brittany had only been together for a short period of time, she knew so confidently in that moment, how much she wanted to marry Brittany. In the fleeting moment where she thought Brittany was going to propose, she had been overcome with such a strong sense of happiness and peace, and she knew it would have been a yes had that question been asked.
"Not yet anyway…" Brittany continued, stepping towards Santana with the box and flipping it open to reveal a gold Cartier love ring "It's a promise ring. It's a promise to marry you in the future. It's a symbol that you're my forever, and one day I'll get down on one knee and put a ring on your left hand but…for now, if you want to, I'd love you to wear this on the right. I've never been so sure of anything in my life, and I want you to feel that, but I can't marry you yet because, well firstly because I'm technically still married…"
Santana bowed her head at that part, she knew the annulment was underway but it still hurt her to think that Brittany was legally somebody else's.
Brittany gently raised Santana's head again, so she was meeting her in the eyes.
"And secondly because…I know we had the slowest start ever and it was painful as hell, but I don't want us to counteract that by rushing every milestone. I want us to sit back and enjoy this, enjoy being us, and look forward to the future together. Because I can't reiterate enough that this is us forever, babe."
By now Santana was fully choked up by Brittany's sensical words and the gesture at hand, the tears trickling freely down her face.
"Brittany I…"
"Can I?" Brittany asked tentatively, removing the ring from the box and hovering it over Santana's fourth finger, on her right hand.
"Yes!" Santana expressed eagerly, anticipating the cold metal on her finger, the sense of commitment she didn't even know she needed.
As Brittany slid the ring on, shyly biting her lip. Santana admired it with a wiggle of her fingers. She always did have a thing for bling, and Brittany knew that, and she knew this had quite the price tag. But it wasn't about the price tag, it was about the meaning of it all. She interlocked their fingers and watched as Brittany placed a kiss where the ring was.
"You make me feel like the happiest girl in the world, Brittany . And I hope you know that by wearing this ring, I'm making the same promises to you that you just made to me."
Brittany smiled knowingly, before capturing Santana in a kiss.
"Happy 30th birthday, baby." she whispered, before leading Santana over to the bed, with every intention of delivering this morning's promise.