Upstead (First Kiss)

Chapter 19

Hello guys! I have taken a long break this time (I hope you haven't forgotten me!) I have been super busy with work and other things. And it's going to stay like this for a while. But I am happy that I got around to writing this chapter finally. Hope you enjoy. :)

Hank dropped Hailey at her place and left telling her he would be waiting for her call. Hailey entered her apartment still not certain about what to do. She didn't want to lie to Jay and she didn't know how she could achieve that if she had to listen to Voight's orders. Jay was probably waiting for her at his place right now and she wouldn't even go there if she decided to go undercover. It took a long while for Hailey to make up her mind. But the moment she had decided what she was going to do she called Voight. As she was waiting for him she shot a text to Jay that read, "Go to sleep, I'll see you soon."

The moment Jay received this text he wondered if something was wrong. He had been looking at his phone every two minutes to see if she had sent him a message. He tried calling her but she didn't pick up and he finally dropped the matter, realising that Voight was still probably with her. But he couldn't seem to understand what this was all about. Finally he decided whatever it was, it could be dealt with tomorrow and just like that he went to bed.

The following morning Jay headed to the district alone because Hailey hadn't asked him to pick her up and he was eager to see her. He arrived earlier than usual hoping to catch her and asking her what was going on. But he waited a long while and still she hadn't come to the district. Finally he asked Vanessa if she knew anything and Vanessa said she had no idea and she herself was worried. Voight arrived finally and announced that they had a new case in their hands today. Jay couldn't help but ask, "Where's Hailey Sarge?"

Voight looked at Jay for a long moment and continued with his briefing about the case, ignoring his question. Jay knew better than to ask again but when the briefing was over he followed Voight into his office and was decided to get an answer from the man. "Sarge, what's going on and where's Hailey?" he asked in frustration.

"Jay, why don't you just learn to let things be the way they are," Voight answered back avoiding Jay's initial question again.

Jay was furious now. What was Voight trying to do? Had he sent her away because he thought this would be best for the both of them and for the unit? Or was she sick? Or had he sent her undercover? All these questions boiled in Jay's mind and it appeared that Voight wasn't going to give him any answers.

"Sarge, you can't do this," Jay said, defeated and hurt.

"Do what?" Voight asked.

"You can't send her away. Especially not because of our relationship. It's just not right," he finished sadly.

"I haven't sent her anywhere Jay, she'll be fine. Don't worry about her and focus on your job. We do have a new case today," Voight concluded.

Jay left the office more angry than before but there was nothing he could do about it. He didn't know at whom he was more furious, was it Voight or was it Hailey? How could she just leave without even telling him anything? It was so upsetting and hurtful that Jay couldn't help but feel the emotion overtake him. From Voight's final words he could guess he had probably sent her undercover, but why the secrecy? Did he not trust him? Or did he not trust Hailey on keeping this a secret? Or was this whole thing a test for the both of them? All these thoughts gave Jay a headache and it was best if he concentrated on his work right now.

The day went by as usual, except he didn't have Hailey to look at or speak to and make jokes. And somehow he realised that that was a big part of his day and he missed it dearly now. When his shift ended he tried calling her several times but no response, so he went to her house but only Vanessa was there, who reassured him she would be back soon. A week went by in this manner and Jay thought she would finally come but no sign of Hailey. He waited patiently, but another week passed by and still no one had heard from her. What the hell was going on? Jay was worried out of his mind and he missed her so much now that he needed to see her. He knew Voight was going to be of no help so he decided to speak to Trudy. Trudy herself wasn't allowed to divulge information about undercover operations and she wasn't going to until Jay insisted and pleaded that he needed to know where she was. He needed to find her, needed to know whether she was alright. Platt assured him that she was fine and there was nothing to worry about, but Jay wasn't satisfied by that and he needed a place. So finally Trudy gave him a bar that was nearby and one which Hailey frequented in her undercover operation. Jay left immediately and didn't even listen to Trudy's final words. She too had sensed there was something going on between the two and now her doubts were confirmed by seeing Jay behave in such a way.

In a while Jay pulled into the parking lot of the bar and suddenly he was too nervous to see Hailey. It was late night but the bar was bustling with activity and noise. He entered making sure that he was not having any of his cop-related things. The bar was rather full and it was difficult to spot anyone at all. He entered slowly, preparing himself for all that would come and mainly for being able to maintain his calm. He crossed his way across to the other side where he had a better view of the entire room. Trudy had just hinted that she could be here, it wasn't a certainty. But whatever it was, it was his only chance to see Hailey with his own eyes and even hold her if he had the opportunity. Then suddenly he spotted a familiar face on the far right corner and he wasn't pleased. Hailey was in casual clothes, a faded jeans and a rather loose T-shirt that was most likely so to attract her preys. She was with a man and the man was trying his best to throw himself upon her but she knew better than to give in. He was probably drunk as well and Jay hated this entire scenario and he wanted to go there and beat the crap out of the guy, but he refrained himself from doing that. Instead he took casual steps towards her and the sight did not please him more and more because the man was adamantly trying to kiss Hailey and she was smiling and trying to let him down easy, but from within she too wanted to punch the guy, Jay knew. Finally he was close enough to the table and that caught Hailey's attention and she looked up to see who was approaching. Her first expression was a mixture of fear, panic and relief at the same time. She called out loudly, hoping to get the prick off of her, "Hey Ryan, I didn't know you were coming back tonight."

The man who was practically on top of her looked up and backed off a little and Hailey took the opportunity to get away from the table and stand up. The man spoke, "Who the hell is this Riley?"

"That's my brother Marc, he was going to come into town soon, just didn't know he was dropping by today," Hailey said.

She looked at Jay who didn't have any particular expression on his face but she knew that from within he was boiling and if this continued he would end up doing something that would put them both in jeopardy.

"Hi, Marc. I am Ryan and I'm Riley's brother so you better back off, now," Jay said meaning the last part only a little too much.

Marc was caught off guard and it seemed he was slightly shook by that comment, so he asked approaching Jay, "What did you say to me?"

"I said, back off," Jay said, ready to fight and beat the crap out of this guy.

Hailey knew the situation was getting out of hand and she had to do something soon. She moved towards Jay and faced him directly, showing her back to Marc and began, "Ryan, don't worry. Marc's my friend and he won't do anything wrong," she finished hoping that Jay would drop this. She had a look on her face that only Jay would understand and it conveyed all that needed to be said.

Jay gave the slightest of nods and only Hailey could see those and she was relieved he understood and agreed to drop this. Then Jay said, "Hey man, I am sorry. It's just that I am super protective of her and can't bear it when anyone treats her bad."

Marc seemed to be fooled and he nodded and waved the matter off, realising that after all Jay wasn't a threat and Riley had him under control. Then Hailey spoke, ready to get the hell out of here, "Alright then, I'll catch you tomorrow Marc. And I'm really hoping that I get to meet your boss."

"You got it Riley," Marc said and waved his hand and was off to buy another drink.

Now both and Jay and Hailey walked towards the exit, hoping to get out of here as soon as possible. When they were outside and saw that no one was there, Hailey spoke, "What the hell are you doing here Jay? And how did you even know I was here?"

Jay just looked at her and thought it best not to reply, he said instead, "Just get in the car and I'll drop you to your UC apartment. And I am staying by the way, if you didn't realise that already."

Hailey was furious right now and she shouted, "No, you aren't Jay. You are leaving right now and I don't want to see you anywhere near this place again."

"That's not going to happen and you know it," he said.

"If Voight finds out we"—

"Screw Voight!" Jay screamed.

They just looked at each other, silently agreeing on this point but not having enough courage to do otherwise. Hailey finally spoke silently, "Jay, just go home. I'll be back soon."

Jay looked at her for a long moment and turned on his heel and left. Hailey was slightly surprised by such a reaction but she was glad that this was over. She headed towards her car and drove towards her makeshift apartment. But she couldn't help but notice that someone was following her and she was certain it was Jay's truck and at the moment she didn't have the energy to play games and hide from him or tell him not to follow her. She simply drove on and when she reached her apartment, the truck too stopped behind her and Jay too got out. He followed her to her apartment and as Hailey opened the door the first thing she did was flip a switch that turned off all the cameras in the apartment. She walked in and Jay followed her locking the door behind him.

They were both inside and Hailey switched on some lights and the apartment came to life. Surprisingly it wasn't as bad as Jay had pictured it in his mind. Hailey threw her things on one of the chairs and put a hand through her hair trying to level it out and that caught Jay's attention more than it should. She looked too beautiful and he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Hailey didn't notice this but instead was in her own world. She spoke finally, looking at him, "Jay we need to talk about this."

"No we don't. And by the way I am mad at you. I am really pissed off at you Hailey," he said trying to control his temper as much as he could.

She just looked at him and didn't know what to say. She didn't expect Jay to behave in such a manner and she thought he would understand. She settled on, "What could I have done Jay?"

"You could have simply told me," he said heart broken.

She looked at him and knew that this had really hurt him but she had to say, "I couldn't do that Jay, that was the condition. And I think you are aware of that."

Jay was silent for a long moment but then he spoke with a sudden freshness that at first scared Hailey a little, "Why don't we just leave everything and start a new life, somewhere far from all this."

Hailey wondered if he had spoken in a foreign language but she had heard him right. She didn't know how to respond so he continued, "You know, we'll be happy and safe and most importantly together."

Hailey had to stop him now so she approached him and took his face in her hands and made him look at her. He was tired, he was defeated and he simply wanted an out. She spoke softly, "Jay, what are you saying? Do you even realise what you are saying?"

"I know what I am saying Hailey and I am saying these things because I can't take this anymore," he answered.

"Take what Jay?" she enquired hands still on his cheeks.

"The constant fear of losing you. I just can't take it anymore Hailey," he said looking down.

"Jay… Please don't do this. Please don't make this harder than it already is for me," she said sensing emotion take over her now.

"Then what do you want me to do?" he asked.

Hailey debated whether she should say this or not but decided on saying it, "Right now, I want you to leave. If anything goes remotely wrong with this, we are both screwed. And once I am back, we will talk about this seriously."

He looked at her now and knew she was right but his heart was just not ready to leave. He wanted to stay with her. He spoke finally, "One night. Let me stay here tonight and then I'll leave."

How much Hailey wanted this, but she couldn't agree to it so easily. So she didn't speak so he continued, "If you ask me to leave I will."

Hailey still didn't speak, still not sure of what to say. Her heart screamed in favour of Jay but her mind was terrified of the outcome. Jay looked at her intently, waiting for an answer and as he didn't get one for a long time he turned on his heel and decided to leave. He was headed towards the door when Hailey spoke finally, almost whispering, "Stay."

That one word was enough for him. He approached her in quick steps and found her mouth. The kiss was passionate, hungry, desperate and almost wild. They hadn't shared such a moment it had been weeks and it was evident now that they were aching for each other's touch. Within seconds Jay had pushed her against the opposite wall and pinned her there. This one night was theirs and nobody could take it away from them, not even Voight.

This concludes the chapter and it has been a long one. I'll be happy to hear what you guys have to say. The story is moving along at an even pace. Thank you for reading and being part of this. :)