Part Eighteen – Delusions

Once I was done in the command center with a complete set of expectations from the Atlantic Command for what my task force is going to be expected to do in the Med, I felt slightly better. I was still mad, that I had to deal with someone that had a direct hand in what happened to me and sent me spiraling down this path. I take out my phone and pull up a map of the base, since I knew we wouldn't be ready to deploy with our Atlantic Fleet counterparts till the end of the week, they were waiting on a few kansen to return from patrol first. While I looked at the map, I tried to figure out what to do, I knew that Conqueror wouldn't be in her flat right now, so no point in going back there and I didn't feel like going to the docks, with a shrug I started to head towards the shopping district that was here.

As I crossed by a shop window I looked at myself, my eyes are drawn to the red coat of the Royal Knights I wore, the words from Conqueror coming to my mind, 'The KGV's like pretending to be knights…'

"I'm not a KGV though…" I whisper out loud and I think about the uniform I saw Conqueror in, it reminded me of the winter uniform I would've worn as part of the Royal Navy, back when I was human.

I take a moment to look around, it was cold here, that I knew… but I could see kansen walking around that were not in uniforms… I turn my attention to the shop window and I can see different kinds of jackets inside. I give one last look around before I duck down an ally way. Once I'm down there, I take everything I could need out of the pockets of the uniform jacket before I take it off and stuff it into a dumpster, and head into the shop. Part of me feels guilty for doing it, I had seen how proud my mother had been when I first put it on, but right now… now it just reminded me of what got me into my current position.

Once I got into the shop, I saw that it had a women's section and a man's section. This brought back some memories of shopping before… everything. I give a quick look around and see that this store is set up in a similar way to the ones in the mini-town back at Midway, with scanners and no people. I walk over to the man's section and start going through pants, shirts, jackets, and hats. It doesn't take long before I've found some pants that are just uniform like enough not to draw attention in dark blue; I find a white dress shirt and a dark blue long coat. Before I'm done I stop at the footwear and find a pair of side zippered combat boots in black. With everything in hand I ring them through at the scanner before I head back into the back and get everything on, putting what I wore in, in the bag I had taken.

Once I step back outside I look at myself in the shop window again, and for an instant, I feel like my old human self.

I tugged the collar of my new jacket up a bit as a slight gust of cold wind caught me from the front. No sooner had I done that, when I could've sword I heard Javelin laughing about something, I looked around and spotted her walking and talking with a blond that had a black cap on, both of them had clearly dressed for the winter air. Seeing the two of them laughing and talking reminded me that Javelin seemed to have this ability to make friends with just about anyone.

With my attention elsewhere, I wasn't watching where I was going and slammed into someone, causing them to make an 'oof' noise and turning my attention to them. Who I saw seemed to bring a smile to my face before I knew it, and that smile only got bigger when she said, "Well don't you just look braw, I like the new look."

"Thanks, I didn't know what else to do with my time this morning." I said to her.

She bobbed her head before saying to me, "Well, let's get an early lunch then, and then I'll introduce you to some friends of mine."

I nod as I say to her, "Sounds like a brilliant plan, Conqueror."

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Following Javelin for a short bit

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I can hardly stop laughing, Daring was always funny, she had just finished telling me this hilarious joke, about two humans walking into a bar. I heard what sounded like Thunderer talking to someone, I turned my head slowly in that direction to see him, dressed really differently and he was talking to some redhead I'd never seen before. I watch as she touches his arm like they're comfortable with one another… he's never shown to be that comfortable with Illustrious.

"Hey, Java, who's the new human?" asked Daring, using a playful nickname she'd given me

"Who?" I ask her.

"That one, I'd seen him come out of Conqueror's flat this morning." She says to me, pointing at Thunderer. She paused for a moment before adding, "Conqueror never takes anyone to her flat… well aside from that time that Dominion was visiting."

I blink a couple of times, and I start to worry a little when I see Thunderer leaving with that woman and I ask Daring, "Who is Conqueror?"

She gives me this look like I said something really dumb and she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose as she says, "Right… Conqueror is the flagship of this detachment; she's also a post-war design like I am. So are you going to tell me who he is? I know he's not from here and I figured he showed up with your task force."

"It's complicated… and not my story to tell." I say to her with an apologetic look.

She shrugs and asks me, "Looks like they're headed to the pub, wanna grab some lunch too?"

I give a nod and pay for the books I'm grabbing for Ayanami before we head off to follow Thunderer and Conqueror.

All through lunch I watched Thunderer and Conqueror talking and laughing about things, they seemed so comfortable with each other, I watched as she even took a chip off of his plate! Once they were done lunch, I tried to hide my face as they went past and I heard her ask him, "Are you coming over again tonight?"

"Yeah, if that's alright?" Thunderer asked back.

"Of course it is." She said to him before the two of them hugged and left the pub.

I need to tell Illustrious what I saw! If he's not keeping his word to her, I'll… I'll… Gosh, I don't want to see Lady Illustrious hurt… My attention is snapped back to Daring as she says to me, "Wow, those two seem kind of close with each other…"

I nod and excuse myself as I say to Daring, "Can we catch up later? I need to go and talk to someone about what I just saw!"

It didn't take me long to find out that Illustrious was at the docks and once I got there, I skidded around the corner and I see her standing talking with two other kansen that seem to have a similar build to her own. Running over, I come to a stop and bend at my hips as I try and catch my breath Illustrious says to me, "What's wrong Javelin? You sounded like it was dreadfully important on the phone…"

I put up a hand and pant out, "Thunderer… close… Conqueror…"

Illustrious tilts her head at me for a moment before saying to me, "It is alright if he wishes to spend time with others…"

I shake my head as I continue to pant out while I manage to catch my breath towards the end of what I want to say, "No… Daring… Thunderer coming out of Conqueror's flat this morning."

Illustrious offers me a gentle smile as she says, "I'm sure that it's fine, perhaps he stopped by early."

I shake my head again as I stand upright and say, "I saw it myself, they seem really comfortable with each other, Conqueror even took a chip off of his plate when they had lunch!"

I see it for a split second, something that looks akin to worry in Illustrious's face as she turns to the other two and asks, "Who is Conqueror?"

"She's our flagship… her hull is right…" said the blond in the white dress as she turned and started to point before saying, "Huh… that hull looks a lot like Conqueror's, but the guns are different…"

I look to see where she's pointing and I see her finger is aimed directly at Thunderer's hull. I was about to say something when I hear boots behind me on the dock and I turn to see Thunderer in the new clothes he'd gotten in.

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Back to Thunderer's POV.

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After I had bid Conqueror goodbye after lunch I had started to wonder why things felt easy with her, at least once we'd gotten past the initial shock of finding out we were siblings to one another. I found I liked the idea of having siblings, even if I was the youngest. Conqueror had seemed to take to it well enough too, it was kind of reassuring. I loved my mother, but it felt different when it came to her like I could tell there was a divide between us, but it wasn't some massive gulf that couldn't be crossed… not like it did with the half-pint.

I had also found it interesting to learn that most of the RN kansen at this port were as Conqueror put it, post-war designs, so there was a gap in capabilities between the Atlantic and Pacific branches… it also highlighted the power gap between me and the other battleships in Midway. Maybe I should apply for a transfer here, once this assignment is done? I don't know, I mean I'd miss my mom, especially now that I've started getting to really know her.

Speaking of that half-pint, it was kind of reassuring to see that I'm not alone in having a low opinion of her… I wonder if that is a trait of being Conqueror class… I mean I'd seem some temperament and view similarities between kansen of the same ship classes… Then again, just looking at my mother and aunts, that kind of goes out the window…

I sigh and run a hand over my head, and find I smile as I think about the fact that yesterday I found out my family is bigger than I thought… which had been a running theme since last year. After having spent so long, with it just being me and my father it felt nice to have a family, like a real one that wasn't plotting to use me as a tool.

I shrug to myself as I keep thinking about how easy I was finding it to relate to Conqueror and I started to wonder if it had to do with my hull being of her class if that made things easy? Then I thought about the meeting I had and my fists balled up. It was harder than I thought to go from being a person to a thing, an asset owned by the state… and I started to feel even worse for the kansen that had no idea about the freedoms they just didn't have, freedoms that I had taken for granted. I sighed again and turned towards the docks, I wanted to store this stuff on my hull, and that was when I heard the voice of one of Illustrious' sisters say, "Huh… That hull looks a lot like Conqueror's, but the guns are different…"

I tilted my head to the left and kept walking towards my hull, no sooner had I put a boot onto the dock then Javelin turned to look at me, her hands going to her hips and she asked me, "Are you keeping your promise to Lady Illustrious?"

Promise? What Promise?

The only thing I could think of was when I had said to her that trying to be with more than one person wasn't something I'm okay with doing. I think she sees the confusion on my face, and then I see the other three kansen here turn to face me. I sighed inwardly and stepped around her to board my hull; I didn't need this right now.

As I started storing the stuff that I bought as well as my old clothes, I picked up the sound of high heels clicking along the deck platting. I listen to the speed and gait that is being used and I know who it is, doubly so, since I can only think of a few that are bold enough to come onto my hull without an invitation. As the footfalls come to a stop, I say, "You can come in, Illustrious."

I look up into the small mirror I had on the dresser to see her blush a little in her cheeks, a hand just about to rap on my door. As her hand lowers slowly, she folds both of them together in front of herself and looked down and off to the side as she crossed into my quarters. While she entered and walked around the room, I continued storing my stuff, but stopped as she sat on the end of my bed and asked, "Who is Conqueror?"

Huh… sounds like she might have a bit of concern… I wonder why… I ask her, "Why do you ask?"

Again I check the mirror to see her cheeks heat a little before brushing some of her long hair behind an ear, I could see she was trying to figure out a way to ask something before she spoke in a careful tone, "I had heard that you were seen coming out of her flat this morning…"

Ah… I wonder who saw that then... I know Javelin likely was the one that told her, just based on how Javelin was reacting to me when I got down to the docks. I nod my head and I say, "She is someone you do not need to feel threatened about."

"That's good, but I don't feel threatened." She says to me, but I can tell she's still being guarded when she adds, "But can you tell me?"

"I can. But it has no impact on our coming deployment at the end of the week." I say as I finish getting everything squared away.

She nods and sighs, looking down and to the side before placing her hands out behind her to prop herself up as she leans back and says, "That's good… but…"

I smirk to myself, okay, I've let her stew long enough… "I learned she is my sister."

"What?" her voice came back in a state of shock.

I nod my head, still watching her in the mirror as I continue, "I saw it myself on my MSD, my official serial number is C-zero-zero-three, my hull is the third Conqueror class."

"Wow." She says

I move and sit down on my bed beside her, leaning forward to rest my arms on my knees, folding my hands together as I say, "Finding out that I have siblings, has been a surprise, but not an unwelcome one."

Illustrious nods and says to me, "I can understand that, not being alone is a wonderful feeling."

"It is…" I pause to look at her and I add, "I'm thinking about applying to transfer to the Atlantic fleet when we return to Midway."

She blinks her blue eyes at me a few times like she was trying to process what I just said, after a few moments she asks, "What would that mean for our arrangement?"

I shrug and say, "I don't know. But I know one thing, I cannot serve under Elizabeth."

"Our Queen." She tries to correct me.

I shake my head as I say, "Only in her mind. I will not bend the knee to her again."

"But you're a member of the Royal Knights and the Royal Household…" she says, her voice clearly picking up some concern.

I sigh and look back down at my deck plating, "Why though? We are not actually knights or royals; we're living out the dreams of someone that wishes she was."

"Well… I… I honestly don't have an answer for you on that." She eventually manages to get out.

I sigh again and say, "It's either I apply to serve here in the Atlantic or I challenge Elizabeth for leadership."

I hear her make a sucking sound before she says, "That could be dangerous… Elizabeth has a lot of support at Midway…"

"Does she though? Or does she rely on the flagship protocols?" I ask.

That seems to stun her for a few moments before she asks, "You don't think she does that, do you?"

I shrug before I say, "She was too willing to use them on me as soon as she could, and it makes me wonder how quick she is to use them on others that don't agree."

Illustrious is quiet for a few moments before she says, "But she showed you trust by…"

I give her a sideways glance and she stops talking before I counter, "It's not showing me trust, it's tossing me a bone, after she boned me, by taking away my ability to choose and determine my life."

"You're a member of the Royal Household, you don't get to have a choice in some things." She says, again back to the whole royal thing.

I shake my head and say, "But I'm not of the royal family. Queen Elizabeth thinks she is a queen solely by virtue of the fact she was named after a real queen."

I lean a little more forward, I had an uncomfortable question to ask her, and I knew it needed to be asked, but at least here in private, I knew I'd get an honest answer. I think she picks up on the fact I want to ask something since she takes off her shoes and draws her knees up to her chest and asks, "What's wrong?"

I sigh and take a deep breath and let it out slowly before I ask, "If you weren't being pressured by Elizabeth, would you have gone through with this? How do you know if you even really had a choice in this? Is this even something you really want to go through with?"

I twist slightly to be able to look at Illustrious, I see her rest her chin on her knees, I can tell she's taking time to think about the answer for this. When she doesn't answer I offer out, "If you don't I understand and harbor no ill will towards you about it."

After a little longer, she says, "I don't know. I don't know if I would've, I don't know if I ever did really…"

She pauses to put a hand over mine as she says, "But I am committed to this, and I intend to keep my word… if you are willing to."

Her hand was so soft and warm like it was every time she touched my hand, I look into her blue eyes and I can see a bit of worry in them, worry I'll reject this. Truth be told, in the time it took us to get here I'd gotten kind of comfortable around Illustrious. It wasn't lost on me that she turned this around on me, letting it be my choice. I'm not against the idea, but I also know she wasn't my first choice, hell she wasn't even my second choice… But she has been supportive of me, she has always been willing to listen and challenge me on things when needed. All the things I'd expect of a real partner to do, I wouldn't want someone to run my life, I don't want someone that would depend on me for everything… I'd want someone that can be independent.

After a few moments, I splay out my fingers to have hers' lace through mine as I say, "I am."

Illustrious lets out a breath before smiling and saying to me, "You really know how to keep a girl in suspense."

I can't help but laugh a little before I say, "Sorry… I didn't mean to do that to you."

She shakes her head and says, "It's alright, I understand that this has been a big life-changing trip, for both of us."

I nod and say to her, "So the question becomes, what do we do now?"

She shrugs before saying, "Perhaps I introduce you to my sisters and you introduce me to yours?"

I nod my head and I say, "From my understanding, one of them is at Davenport right now, Dominion, but Conqueror is here."

She leans in a little close to me, biting her lower lip for a moment before she says, "Then in honor of this…"

Her head tilts to the side and she leans in a little more, I hate to admit it, it took me a second to really pick up on where she was going with this, she continued, "I'll indulge this."

Her lips were both firm and soft, the smell of lilies filling my nose, I could hear her make a noise like she was enjoying this, and admittedly, I know I was making similar sounds. I turned more to face her, my left hand sliding up the right side of her neck to cup the side of her face while she deepened the kiss. My lungs were starting to burn in protest, forcing me to break the kiss. Once I had, I placed my forehead against hers and smiled, my eyes still closed as I whispered out, "I liked that."

She softly giggled as she said, "I did too."

I use my left thumb to caress her right cheek as I whisper, "You don't need permission to do that with me, ever."

I felt her hand come up and start to touch my cheek and caress it while she whispered back to me, "Nor do you need permission to do that with me."

After a few more moments of being like this with her, Illustrious said, "We should head back out there, lest my sisters think we are up to something…"

I sigh, that was fair enough, I let go of the side of her and start to turn, when she steals a quick kiss and says, "Forgive me, but I didn't want to wait for the next one."

I laugh and squeeze her fingers as I say, "Forgiven."

She smiles sweetly at me before getting her shoes back on and waiting for me to stand. Once I was up, she moved over to me and laced her fingers on her left hand through those on my right hand, and said to me, "I am okay with displaying this level of intimacy with my sisters, provided you are?"

I squeeze her hand as I lead her out of my quarters and down the passage to my upper deck as I say, "I am… And I'll introduce you to my sister later."

Illustrious smiles at me, shyly as she says, "I'd like that… speaking of sisters, I expect you'll be hearing many embarrassing stories about me from Victorious and Formidable shortly."

I raise an eyebrow as I say, "This should be good, anything you'd like me to know before they try and use it against you?"

She blushed and looked down before saying to me, "I once fell over when I bent over to pick up a handkerchief."

"No…" I start to say with a degree of surprise and disbelief.

She nodded and sighed out, "My balance isn't the best… I'm a little top-heavy."

I can't help but laugh; she slips her hand out of mine and slaps my arm as she says to me, "It's not funny…"

"Kind of is." I respond.

"You're awful!" she protests with a slight smile.

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A/N: Chapter Eighteen done. Illustrious and Thunderer are starting to get more comfortable with each other after a serious heart to heart. Also, looks like trouble is brewing for the Pacific branch…