A/N: Just published a new one-shot featuring Bertie & Luv that may or may not intersect with this fic (in other words, it totally does). Check it out if you're curious what goes on in Bertie's piteous, lackluster life.


"Your true face...what kind of face is it?

I wonder...the face under the mask...

Is that your true face?"


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The Customer Is (Not) Always Right

Chapter 16: True Rupin

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I still can't wrap my mind around what Gondo said.

I cross over the bridge to the Isle of the Goddess. People don't come up here too often, so it's a good place to be alone on a weekend day. My sole weekend day. The only day of the week I don't spend in the Bazaar. It's been so long since I just got out and went for a walk to be alone with my thoughts.

When I reach the courtyard, I'm relieved to find that there are no people around, only a few roosting loftwings. I veer off from the main path and circle around the Goddess statue, gazing out at the cloudless blue sky.

When Gondo said I should "be myself" he meant my phony happy self, right? But that's the problem. That's not the real me. He doesn't know the true extent of all the terrible things I've thought about people...about him.

Years of awkward smiles, forced laughter, feigned politeness. All lies. I lie every second of the day. My whole life is a sham, a giant farce. Nothing but a masquerade. That bright, chipper salesman is just a construct I made up to draw in customers and make connections. I'm only nice and friendly to people because I need them. Or rather, I need their money. That's all it is. A deception. A mask.

I've always known that. But strangely, Gondo seems to think otherwise, even though I haven't exactly kept up a perfect guise around him. That bothers me. It's almost as if he's suggesting the smiley shopkeeper has become apart of me...

And then there's my grouchy, spiteful self that I hide from most people. My more natural self. For some reason I can't explain, I don't like to think of that as the real me either. When did I become so bitter and jaded? Looking back, I'm not positive where it all started, but it wasn't always this way.

Gah, what is my problem? I've never cared about this so much. Acting friendly toward people has always been a necessity, I've resigned myself to that. The only way to get what I want out of people is to play their game. I was always fine with that.

Until now.

Myself. What is that? Who am I, really? Maybe both sides are me. Maybe neither of them are. I growl in frustration, my mind worn out. Why is an answer that should be so simple so confusing?!

I think when it comes down to it, I'm just tired. I'm tired of changing myself. I don't know if I'd consider that perky shopkeeper self apart of me or not, but I do know I can't be that all the time. It would be too exhausting to keep up the façade. I would die. I wouldn't want someone to like me for my fake happy self. I can't be that for anyone but me.

I slow my footsteps and come to a stop back in front of the Goddess statue. I do believe I've found my answer.

Perhaps I should just tell Peatrice straight and be done with it. I'll tell her exactly what I think of her. No fake smiles. No over-the-top flattery. Just the truth, plain and simple. Take it or leave it. And if she says no? Well, then at least I'll have an answer and I can quit this pursuit. I will have gotten it off my chest and my mind will be free from it. That's not such a bad thing. Who cares if she rejects me? I don't.

Yes. Everything is so much easier when I don't care. It's no big deal. I'll just tell her and get it over with. It doesn't matter what the outcome is. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

A flash of movement in my periphery catches my attention. Not far away, from somewhere above the town, I see a dark green loftwing taking flight. A rather rotund figure is riding on its back. My heart thuds in anticipation. It's him. It's Peater, her father. Or should I say, her guard dog. And he's leaving. He steadies his bird high in the air and flies north. I watch him glide off into the blue until he shrinks to a tiny speck.

And then he's gone.

I turn and hurtle across the courtyard. The loftwings scatter to avoid me.

-:-:-:-:-

I stride up to Peatrice's house and rap on the door, before I can even consider backing out. For a few seconds, there's nothing, and then I hear footsteps coming to answer the door. I shift nervously, growing more antsy with each pounding step. I shove my hands in my pockets to keep from fidgeting.

The knob twists and the door opens a fraction of the way. There's a black chain stretched across the inside of it, blocking my entry.

"What do you want?"

Peatrice peers at me warily through the small opening in the door. For once, she has her hair down. It looks...nice.

"Hey Peatrice." An awkward smile twitches at the corner of my mouth. "May I come in?"

The door creaks shut until all I can see is a slither of her face. "I think whatever you need to say can be said right here."

I almost groan. Really? But I guess I can't really blame her. "All right, have it your way," I give in. "But just hear me out."

Her eye narrows. "Why did you follow me?"

I hesitate. Oh Gods. She noticed? "Because I like you," I blurt out. When I say it, I realize it's the truth. It's not the whole truth, but it's true. "I like you a lot."

It's impossible to gauge her reaction through the door. All I can see is a tuft of her yellow hair. Ugh, for crying out loud. This isn't how I imagined this playing out at all.

"I've never met anyone else like you, how you say what you mean, and you mean what you say..." I swallow, suddenly feeling self-conscious. I just hope she can sense the sincerity behind my words. That she can tell I'm for real. I shuffle my feet. "Lately I've been thinking...your life sucks. No offense. My life sucks. Maybe if we hung out things wouldn't be quite so unbearable." Ack. I take a breath and start over.

"What I'm trying to say is, you seem like a sensible young lady, and...I want to get to know you."

After a long moment, Peatrice opens the door a little wider. The chain lock pulls tight, stretching to its limit. A change has come over her. She stares at me with wide eyes, stunned.

"You really mean that, don't you?" she says. "You're serious."

I give a small nod.

"Oh. Wow." A shy smile passes over her lips. She laces her fingers in front of her, her cheeks reddening slightly. "That's…sweet, Rupin."

The sound of her saying my name sets my heart aflutter. She averts her eyes, looking troubled. My spirits fall. I brace for disappointment.

"But...I can't," she says regretfully, her eyes downcast. "There's someone else. A knight." She wrings her hands, meeting my gaze for a brief moment before looking down again. "I'm sorry."

"A knight?!" I say a little too forcefully. I shake my head. I won't accept that. "Peatrice, you have to get your head out of the clouds. Some gorgeous knight's not going to fly out of nowhere and sweep you off your feet. This—" I spread my arms, gesturing to myself. "This is reality."

Her lips part in astonishment. "What are you talking about? There are knights everywhere!" she shoots back, curling her hand into a fist. "Are you insinuating that I'm not good enough for a knight?"

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all." I bite my tongue. Now she's losing her patience, but I can't back off just yet. I must be persistent.

Peatrice sighs. "Look, Rupin. I love him and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind. Just forget it."

...Love? Pff, is she kidding? I can't stop a smirk from sliding across my face. Was that a challenge?

"Oh? Then where is he?" I ask simply.

There's a flash of worry in her eyes, and I know I've got her attention. Whether she'll admit it or not, there's a part of her that knows what I'm about to say is right.

"Where is he now, hm?" I pose the question again, arching an eyebrow. "He's not here...but I am." I venture a step closer to her. "Peatrice, you're beautiful. Smart. Anyone who truly valued that should have asked you out by now, which is why I'm at your doorstep today." My lips curve into a small, confident small. "Your knight didn't come after you. I did. So go out with me."

She locks me in her glare, a firm look of resolve on her face. "No."

It hits me like a slap to the face. I search her eyes, but I'm only met with stubborn resistance.

"Okay. Fine." I sigh, discouraged. I rest my hands on my pockets again. "But can you just do one thing for me?"

She groans in exasperation, putting her hand on her hip. "What?"

"Can I have my Goddess plume back?"

Her expression catches me off-guard. She looks shocked, angry—hurt, even. "Is that all you really came here for?!" Now she just looks sickened. "Gee, here I thought for a second you actually liked me. So much for that."

I feel like she just slapped me again. "No! I mean, yes! I do like you. That's not—"

"How dare you try to play with my feelings like that."

I exhale, putting my hands up in defense. "Okay. I get it. I know I can't convince you that I meant what I said. It's just that the stone is really valuable and if you're not going to do anything with it—"

"If I give it back to you, will you stop pestering me?"

The bluntness of her question takes me by surprise, crushing me. I look down at my feet, avoiding her icy gaze. "Yes," I say quietly, with finality.

She disappears into the house. Seconds later, she returns with the Goddess plume.

"Here." She thrusts the feathery crystal out the door. "Take it."

As soon as I grab it, she slams the door in my face. Ouch. I slowly turn from the house and wander away, not heading in any particular direction.

A knight, eh? I wonder if that's true. Does she really like someone else or was she just letting me down easy? I inhale and breathe out slowly, letting the Goddess plume fall to my side. Oh, what difference does it make. I don't care.

I don't care. I bash it into my mind again, to convince myself this time.

I slow my footsteps, getting my bearings. I realize I've drifted all the way to the Bazaar. No. It's closed today, so why did I come here? I should just go home. I turn around and walk back the way I came, down the hill and past her door again. My mind swims with all sorts of thoughts, but I feel nothing.

I give a start when I round the bend and almost run straight into a green loftwing, standing still and statuesque at the base of the cliff. She fixes me in her intense stare, not having moved an inch.

"Wingy?!" I blurt in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

I was so preoccupied I didn't even notice she was so close by. Why would she seek me out? This is weird, even for her. Wingy bows her head and scratches at the ground with one of her claws.

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm not upset in the least," I snap in response. "It turned out we weren't as like minded as I thought."

Wingy lifts her head, her fierce yellow eyes boring into mine. I look away, crossing my arms.

"Hmph. What does she know, anyway? A knight...what a joke..." My throat closes up. I avoid Wingy's piercing gaze, glaring down at the specks in the dirt. But she knows. I can't hide anything from her.

Suddenly, she pushes her bill against my chest, nuzzling me with surprising fervor. I gasp, throwing my arms out to catch my balance. Slowly, I wrap my arms around her and hug her back, letting my chin come to rest in her soft head feathers.

Something wet gathers in the corners of my eyes, blurring my vision. I bring a hand up and touch my eye.

Wha…what is this watery discharge?! It can't be. I can't believe this...

I care.