...

"What makes you happy?

I wonder...what makes you happy...

Does it make...others happy too?"

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The Customer is (Not) Always Right

Chapter 17: Brooding

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I know I should get up, but every time I move, my head hurts and I want to stay down. Like this headache, I thought my disappointment over Peatrice would disappear over night, but it hasn't. I still feel like she told me off just an hour ago. No matter what I do, I can't seem to get out of this funk. I just can't stop thinking about yesterday.

I check the time. I don't have to go to work for at least another ten minutes, so I can lie here a little while longer. If only time would slow down. I sigh and stretch across my bed, cushioning my head with my hands. I stare up at the ceiling blankly. This is so stupid. It's not like this is the first time a girl rejected me. There was Chat, that cute little blonde girl from the Knight Academy. I knew she hated me and it came as no surprise when I asked her out and she sassed me to my face. I just shrugged it off and went about my day. I told myself Chat was a brat anyways and I shouldn't have lowered my standards for her. And that was that.

So why...?

"RUPIIIIIN!"

"Ugh," I grunt. It's too early for this. I sit up just as door flies open and my mother comes storming in. She's holding something in her hand.

"What is this?" she demands. She lifts her arm and thrusts the sign I posted on our door the other day toward me:

No Admittance - Exception Treasure Business.

"Oh...that." I scratch the back of my neck. "Didn't think you'd notice."

She grumbles and tosses it into the trash. "Rupin! You know this is an open door neighborhood."

I yawn. "Yeah, well, whoever made that up should be shot."

"Rupin!"

With another groan, I hop out of bed, slip past her and walk out the door, leaving a seething Goselle behind. I can't take her right now. I just can't.

The walk to the Bazaar seems slower than usual. And it doesn't. If anything, I'm purposely dragging because I don't want to get there. Suck it up, I tell myself. It's illogical to be this hung up over someone I never even had to begin with. Stupid. But then something slowly dawns on me.

Never have I been so forthright with anybody before. I was so overly fake to those other girls in the past. The cheesy smiles, the over-the-top flattery...it was almost a game to me. I never even gave them a chance to see the real me. It softens the blow when you put up a shield, when it's not the true you they're turning down. But when you throw down your defenses and leave your inner self vulnerable...it hurts. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but it's true. For the first time ever, I took a risk and put my real self out there, and she rejected it.

I take a shaky breath. And now I have to see her at the Bazaar. Every day. I guess that's why they say never to get involved with people at your workplace.

Out of habit I glance at the Item Check when I get there. She's not here. Not that it matters anymore. I start setting up, making sure to look the other way when she eventually does enter. Out of my peripheral vision, I think I see her glance my way briefly when she passes, but I can't be sure.

And so the day kicks off to an agonizingly slow start. No knights come into my store, just dumb kids. I am really sick and tired of all these unaccompanied children. I know they're not going to buy anything. I know they don't have a single rupee on them, so I can't even coerce them into giving me a tip. Also, they really need to learn not to touch the shields. Or the bombs. Or anything.

"Gully," I speak up, firmly but gently. He stops just short of smearing his fingers across my iron shield. "Please don't touch that."

He turns and gives me an innocent look, tilting his unfortunately-shaped head. "Why?"

I quirk an eyebrow. "Do you question your mother too when she asks you not to touch the stove?"

He avoids my gaze and walks away from me without responding. He bumps my shield with his elbow, displacing it slightly from its rightful spot on the counter. I attempt to swallow my aggravation.

"Gully," I chime, all smiles and rainbows, "why don't you go play with your uncle Bertie across the hall over there? He looks like he likes kids."

Gully looks over at Bertie, who is currently rocking the baby while being clawed in the neck repeatedly. The little boy turns back to me, features pinched in skepticism.

"He's not my uncle."

I laugh. "That's the funny thing about Skyloft. You just never know."

He gives me another weird look and reaches for the nearest display. Does everything I say fall on deaf ears?! This little pest picked the wrong day to mess with me.

I slam a fist on the counter. "For Goddess' sakes, Gully! This isn't your playground! Get out!"

His jaw quivers. "Eeeeaaahhhhh!" he cries, running off. Oh, he'll get over it. Just like he did the last time I yelled at him. There weren't even any tears in his eyes. Half the time he just pretends to cry to get what he wants. Well, excuse me, did I give you permission to molest that seed satchel with your grubby civilian fingers? Didn't think so.

I fetch some cleaning supplies and a rag from the backroom and start disinfecting away. As I'm buffing the fingerprints off of my iron shield, who should emerge from the crowd but my mother. And it would appear that she's coming over here. What could she want? She never visits me at my shop during the day.

"Mother? What are you doing here?" I ask as she walks up. Don't tell me she's still mad about earlier. "The Bazaar-wide discount isn't until tomorrow."

"Shopping at this hour? Please," she sniffs. "I came here to tell you to stop moping."

I furrow my brow and scoff, "what?"

"Don't play dumb with your mother. I'm not a fool." She moves into the shop, sighing. She always looks at me like she can't imagine how I handle myself around customers.

"Look, I don't know what's going on with you and I know you won't talk to me. But I've been...concerned about you as of late, dear," she says. "You're not yourself."

I look down. Whatever that's supposed to mean.

"I suppose what I'm trying to say is, I can't stand it. I can't stand you like this. I think I much preferred your scheming plots to this...this self-pitying spell you've gotten yourself into." She looks away, plucking at her sleeve. "I...I want my scheming boy back. I think, deep down, that's what makes him...happy."

For a moment, she just gazes off wistfully, deep in thought. But her expression quickly sours.

"Or as happy as he's going to get, anyway," she huffs, puckering her lips as if her words tasted bad on her tongue. I flinch as she reaches forward and pinches my cheek, a creepy smile on her face. "Buck up, dear. That sad face doesn't suit you."

And with that, she produces a fan with a little flourish and disappears into the crowd again. I wipe my face in disgust. Is she out of her mind? Eh, what difference does it make. My mother and I...we will never understand each other.

I spend the rest of my afternoon in a blank state. It would be lovely if I had customers to take my mind off of everything, but alas, today is not my day. Several times over, I slip into the backroom to count my rupees in order to pass the time. My mood only grows bleaker when I realize I have very few rupees to count.

I lock my meager sum of rupees away and spend the rest of the afternoon milling about the shop aimelessly. Just when I'm about to give up and pack up, that dopey green knight moseys into the Bazaar. My mind takes a moment to process; finally, a knight!

I tap into my limited energy reserves and welcome him with a broad grin. He gives a small smile of acknowledgement in return, but walks straight past my shop, instead heading for the Item Check. Peatrice immediately jumps out of her seat to greet him, clasping her hands in front of her and smiling. That's when it hits me.

She's had eyes for that dope from the Knight Academy all along. That messy-haired, big-lipped dope from the Knight Academy! I can't believe I didn't realize it before. The amount of envy I feel makes my stomach hurt. How could I have been so blind? I've been deluding myself. It's so obvious she likes him. The way her eyes lit up just now…

I wish she'd look at me like that.

I know that's selfish, but I can't help wanting that. I tear my gaze away. I can't stay in here. I need to step outside for a bit. I leave my shop behind and head out the door. I feel sick, like a worm is eating away at my insides. I get away from the Bazaar and walk out across the pier, only stopping once I make it to the end and there's nowhere else to go.

Instead of calling for Wingy, I take a seat at the edge of the platform. Exhausted from standing all day, I plop down a little harder than I thought I would. Something stabs into my leg when I hit the wooden boardwalk. I slip the Goddess plume out of my pocket, letting my legs dangle over the end of the pier. I forgot I'd taken it with me for safekeeping after I spied my mother eyeing it rather greedily.

The semi-transparent gemstone glistens as I turn it over in my hands. I don't even know why I asked for this back. There was a time when I would look at it and see endless possibilities, but not anymore. It's worthless to me now, nothing but a reminder of all my failed endeavors. My expensive shields nobody buys...Peatrice's rejection. Now I see it and there's just a hollow ache in my chest.

I exhale, but the ache doesn't ebb. I think...for once, I just wanted to be real, and someone to like me for it. How foolish. Why would they? I'm not a good person. Anyone who got to know me would just end up hating me.

My mother was right about me.

I bring my arm back and chuck the Goddess Plume as hard as I can. There's a glint among swirling clouds, and then I lose sight of it. It's gone for good.

I rise up and trek back across the pier to the Bazaar, feeling just a tad less heavy. When I get inside, I'm surprised to find someone waiting for me in my shop. And not just anyone. The sight of him is enough to make my blood boil a second time.

"Oh! There you are," Peatrice's knight says when he sees me. "My old shield broke and I need to buy a replacement."

My eyes go from the unassuming expression on his face to the shield he's holding in his hands. The sacred shield. I blink to make sure I'm not seeing things. "You...want to buy that one?"

"Yup."

But—I just threw away..."Are you kidding me?"

He frowns in confusion.

I recover. "I-I mean, that's wonderful, friend!" I grin and rush over to him, to which he just looks even more uncomfortable. "It's yours for 450 rupees!"

Within moments, the transaction is complete, and I hold those glorious rupees in my hands. Rupees! I think to myself again, in some attempt to shake myself awake and rekindle some of my old excitement. I pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. Finally, a sale!

For an entire minute, I bask in pure bliss, but then it slowly wears away as reality sets back in. Four hundred and fifty rupees...just a dent. A dent in a ten-inch thick wall. It's a start, sure, but that's really all it is. My heart seems to slowly sink back down into my stomach again.

It's strange. I thought I would be happier when this moment finally came.

I let a slow sigh hiss out of my mouth, and it's like the very life is seeping out of me. Suddenly, I feel so very tired. Even more so than I normally do at the end of the day. In fact, if there was a bed in the middle of the Bazaar, I might just crawl into it without a care.

I don't even bother farewelling people today. My energy level is lower than ever, and I need what little stamina I have left to stay awake. As I'm packing up, I feel as if I'm in slow motion in relation to the rest of the Bazaar. Every task seems to take me an hour in of itself—packing up my gear, sweeping the floor...a few times, I catch myself idly leaning on the broom handle, just zoning out. I linger here and there, sometimes outright forgetting what it was I wanted to accomplish next.

By the time the shop is looking presentable again, there are only two other shopkeepers left: Bertie and Gondo. I know if I don't hurry, I'm going to get saddled with closing duties, but for some reason I can't bring myself to care. I have trouble concentrating as I'm counting my rupees, fumbling with them and dropping some on the floor. I keep losing my train of thought and I have to start over three times before I finally get the correct numbers, and even then I'm not completely sure if I was right the last time. My mind is so unfocused and bleary. I rub my eyes for what must be the hundredth time today, as if that will help get rid of my headache.

After I lock up the storeroom, I walk out to see that everybody has vacated the Bazaar and gone home. Even Gondo. I look around drearily, my thoughts seeming to blur in and out of focus. Tapestries. Tapestries...where were they again? Ah, yes. They're stored behind the Item Check. I go next door over and jump over the counter, trying not to think about a certain someone who spends all her time back here. I lift a large purple roll up off the floor with some difficulty. Sheesh. When was the last time I did this? These things are heavier than they look.

I cover the Knight Academy entrance, then the main entrance, then I go back to the Item Check for the last tapestry, making sure to shut off all the lights on the way over. When I've dragged it halfway across the Bazaar, I notice some people wiping tables in the restaurant. Oh...right. The cafe workers are still here cleaning since they stay open an extra hour, so I don't have to seal up their door. I forgot.

Making a disgruntled sound in my throat, I summon the rest of my strength and start lugging the tapestry back.

"It's okay! You can just drape it over that chair right there," one of the cooks yells to me. I turn toward the voice. It's Starlet. "Thanks for dragging it over here."

She smiles, and I notice she's missing a tooth. Her smile...it cuts into me. Suddenly, I feel bad for judging her.

With a small nod, I leave the tapestry on the chair and go outside. The sun is low in the western sky. It tints the buildings orange and blankets the hills in the Bazaar's giant shadow. It would seem I'm the last one out. There's nobody else around. Except for...

Just ahead of me, a plump figure is slowly making his way across the lawn. It's him.

It's the Village Idiot.

"Hey—" I don't know his name. "Hey," I settle for.

He pauses. After a moment, he peeks over his shoulder timidly, as if he's not quite sure whether I was talking to him.

"Where are you going?" I call out to him.

His mouth lulls open. "Lumpy Pumpkin," he mutters.

"Me too," I decide on a whim. I skid down the hill and catch up with him. "Come on. Let me buy you a drink."

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A/N: Well, shoot. I wanted to update last week...two weeks ago. But then band camp happened. And then convention weekend happened. And then more band camp and scrambling to arrange music happened. Sorry these last two chapters have been so depressing! There's a reason the secondary genre of this story is 'angst,' and not just to be cutesy, though I really hope it was never over-the-top. This chapter right here is as bad as it gets (for Rupin, anyway...), but humor shall always triumph. Remember that. I promise I'll make it up to you next time. ;)

Unimportant Rambling: So at Otakon last weekend...yes, I'm raving about the con. If you couldn't care less, you should probably leave now and come back next time. Anyway, at this con I saw the most amazing Groose cosplay. Ever. This guy was so in character. He even had Groose's theme playing and following him around everywhere he went. One day I was Lucas from Mother 3/Smash Bros. Brawl rocking a cowlick and he came up to me and said "My hair's better!" Needless to say, I couldn't argue with that. Favorite costume I saw all weekend. I also attended a fanfiction writer's panel, which ended up being pretty boring overall because I didn't learn anything I didn't already know, but at the end they were having volunteers get up to read excerpts of their fics. I seriously wanted to get up and read the intro of this fic in Rupin's voice. No one in that room knew me anyway so why the heck not! But then I ended up having to leave early so I didn't do it. Sorry, I guess that was kind of a boring and anticlimactic story. Maybe I'll put a video on youtube one day to make up for it.