Chapter 10

When Harry and Hermione had broken apart he had reunited with everybody as if no time had passed at all. He'd shaken about a million hands, but the masks made it very hard for him to tell who he was talking to. The entire ordeal was a little exhausting, but Harry did it with a stoic smile on his face. It was much easier than he thought it would be and Harry was almost positive it was because Hermione hadn't left his side since their emotional reunion.

Harry shook hands with an enthusiastic wizard who had been rambling on and on and he walked away a slight twitch in his step. Harry stifled a laugh and looked down at Hermione through cheerful eyes. "You know Hermione," Harry smiled, "I'm not going to disappear."

Hermione's eyes fell slightly and she wrung her hands together glancing across the room. "You did last time."

Harry sighed deeply and rubbed his hair guilt gripping at his stomach. "I know and I'm sorry," he whispered out defeat in his voice. "I just… I don't know I didn't know what else to do."

Hermione glanced up at him through her lashes. "Where did you go?"

Harry hesitated for a few minutes breaking eye contact. Lie, lie, lie… he told himself. He couldn't possibly tell her he had been at the Forest of Dean for the last month. She would start to get suspicious and as much of a relief as it was to have her next to him he could not tell her where he had been. "I uh… I went to uh… Grimmauld Place."

Hermione looked taken aback. "You've been staying at Grimmauld Place?"

"Yeah," Harry said unconvincingly.

Hermione narrowed her eyes, "I just… I would've thought that… well… what with Sirius… I just didn't think that you would want to stay there."

Harry shrugged his shoulders, "I feel close to him there." It wasn't a total lie, Harry thought to himself. He just didn't mention that the closeness caused his throat to close up and a severe anxiety kicked in at the thought of his deceased godfather.

"How are you doing?" Hermione said quietly, her voice uncertain. "I mean I know that today is his two year anniversary."

"…Okay…" Harry replied slowly taking a sip of his butter beer. He had put his fire whiskey to rest after being discovered. The last thing he needed were rumors going around about his alcohol abuse post war.

"Are you?" Hermione asked uncertainly.

"Yeah I am," Harry nodded. "It's been hard, but I'm feeling well… okay," he smiled at the end. He wasn't going to lie and say he was great or even good, but he was stable for now.

"Okay." Hermione smiled slightly looking down. "Well you look much better."

Harry blushed slightly, "I feel better."

"So," Hermione set her glass down placing her hands on her hips with a devilish gleam in her eye. "Are you feeling good enough to ask a girl to dance?"

"What?" Harry's face changed from relaxed to panic and Hermione couldn't help, but chuckle at his boyishness.

"I said are you feeling good enough to ask a girl to dance?"

"Don't push it," Harry took a sip of his drink shaking his head.

Hermione pouted and Harry groaned letting out an awkward laugh. "I can't dance Hermione."

"Lies," Hermione sang out mockingly, "I've seen you dance. During fourth year at the Yule ball, and well…"

Harry's smile faded and he watched her through jaded eyes, "That was different."

"Why?" Hermione challenged holding out her hand. "The only difference I see is a dance floor, about 500 more people, and we both look a lot more presentable and smell a lot better than we did then."

Harry continued to watch her. She had a gleam in her eyes that he had missed so much in the last few weeks. A devilish rebellion that was so subtle that he couldn't help, but be enticed by her so fully and completely. If it had been anyone else he would have refused, but reluctantly he sighed and pulled his black jacket from his shoulders. He glared at her and she smiled back at him playfully. He rolled up his cuffs to his elbows and grasped her hand firmly and allowed her to lead him to the dance floor.

A slow ballad had started and he and Hermione settled around several other couples dancing slowly the atmosphere peaceful. "Well," Harry mumbled under his breath. "If we are going to do this we are going to do this right." He placed a hand behind his back and bowed slightly one leg in front of the other holding out his hand for Hermione to take. "May I have this dance?"

Hermione took his hand with a toothy grin. "Always."

They were transported back in time. To a time where everything was uncertain, where danger lurked around every corner and where death smelled strongly in the air. The only certainty that Harry had known during those few months was Hermione and here they were three months later doing exactly what they had been doing that night, dancing, and being kids that they had never gotten to be. This dance was different though. Slower yes, but there was a different feeling between the two of them and neither could put their finger on it, but they danced all the same as Hermione rested her head on Harry's shoulder losing themselves in the moment.

"I never did say thank you." Hermione murmured against his shoulder as they continued to dance.

"For what?" Harry looked puzzled.

She pulled back and locked eyes, "For that night in the tent. For well, dancing with me. I was so wrapped up in an absentee Ron and I had the horcrux on and you just, made everything better."

"How?" Harry breathed out at a loss for words. What could she possibly owe him a thank you for?

"You reminded me that it was okay to laugh, that we were allowed to smile, and that no matter what everything would be okay. You just helped me. I don't know how I would've made it through that night without you."

"Hermione," Harry replied, "I'm the one who owes you a thank you. You sacrificed everything for-"

"Harry," Hermione cut him off smiling knowingly. "For once could you just say you're welcome?"

Harry laughed out loud for what seemed like the first time in months and reluctantly muttered something along the lines of you're welcome.

"What was that?" Hermione gripped his neck tightly forcing his eyes to meet hers. "I didn't quite hear that."

"I think you did," Harry grinned madly down at her and Hermione's smile faded slowly as she stared into his eyes. "What?" Harry chuckled nervously, "is there something in my teeth?"

Hermione chuckled slowly and the two stopped dancing. "I haven't seen you smile like that in years."

Harry chewed his lip nervously and dropped his hands from her waist. Reality, reality, reality, it was amazing how quickly she could distort his thoughts. Hermione Granger is dating Ronald Weasley, he repeated to himself in his mind. Ronald Weasley is your best friend; you were dating his sister some odd months ago. Hermione is just your friend. God reality sucks sometimes.

"What is it?" Hermione questioned tilting her head to the left.

Harry shrugged stupidly at a loss for words like he was so many times before and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I was just going to suggest that I turn you over to Ron, you can make him look like a fool for a few songs. I figured myself that I would… go… find… Ginny…" The words left his lips faster than he could think and he wanted to slap himself hard across the cheek.

Hermione turned her head towards Ron who was standing grimacing down at his mother who was repeatedly fiddling with his tie. He looked up and smiled at Hermione a pleading look plastered on his face.

As Hermione watched her boyfriend chuckling Harry watched Ron as well, but he wasn't laughing along with Hermione. He had never seen Ron look happier. The way he looked at Hermione was the way that Harry looked at her. As if she was untouchable. Guilt flooded Harry's stomach as he watched his two friends stare at each other across the room and he took a few steps backwards fleeing the scene as inconspicuously as possible. He would let them be happy, he thought simply to himself. They deserved it. Harry stood awkwardly at the bar for a few minutes drinking a butter beer Hermione's absence creating an unfamiliar anxiety in him. He tried to keep his eyes off of his best friends laughing and dancing the night away, but every so often he would glance over and the pit would settle again.

He was grateful when Professor McGonagall's voice blared loudly over the crowd and the hall became quiet rather quickly. At least this way the two of them would stop bloody smiling at each other thought Harry.

"Welcome, welcome… to the Rebirth of the Phoenix Masked Ball. It is my pleasure and honor to be a part of such a lovely evening and I thank everyone for attending," McGonagall spoke clearly over the hundreds of people.

Applause and cheers erupted among the guests and Harry clapped half-heartedly, as grateful a he was as the fact that he got to see Hermione, he still thought it was a stupid idea.

"Now," continued McGonagall, "I don't want to take away from the rest of the night with speeches and blubbering on, but I want to take a moment to recognize why we are here. Tonight we pay a tribute to the lives lost. Let their spirits live on in this castle forever and let their duty to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry never be forgotten. I know we are all grieving, but tonight is about rebirth, second chances, and a new beginning, but it doesn't mean that we will ever forget the loved ones that fell here not a mere two months ago…"

The hall was silent and McGonagall continued a solid strength in her voice.

"I know that there were many among us who passed away that fateful day not too long ago, but I want to recognize somebody very important…" she paused almost nervously and Harry stood curious about what was to happen next. "On June 18th two years ago, we lost somebody very important in the fall of the dark lord. Two years ago Sirius Black was taken from us."

Harry's jaw dropped, this was the last thing on earth he was expecting to happen and a lump formed in his throat at the mention of his godfather. Hermione and Ron broke apart and both turned their heads fearful for Harry's reaction. They knew how defensive he would get over Sirius.

"Sirius Black was a devoted member to the Order of the Phoenix. I want to correct any speculation or misjudgments that may be circulating amongst us. Sirius Black was murdered protecting and fighting for us. He was framed by another for betrayal and murder. He is and will forever be a hero in our eyes who lived thirteen years a prisoner for a crime he did not commit. So tonight I want to raise a glass and remember and honor the memory of Sirius Black… may he rest in peace."

Harry was stunned. All he ever wanted for his godfather was his name to be cleared and finally after all this time… it was, just like that. He stood stiffly his knuckles white on his glass. He drew a breath fighting back tears. Looking around the room he realized that all eyes were on him and he swallowed the lump in his throat and raised his glass in the air, "To Sirius," he muttered shakily his fingers clenched like a vice around the glass that trembled in his hands.

"To Sirius," he heard another voice chime in across the room and he shifted his eyes to see Hermione her own glass raised high as well. Her face was calm and she watched Harry with a small smile. If anybody knew how much this meant to Harry it was her and Harry returned the smile sadly allowing a spare tear to cascade down his cheek.

Just like clockwork the entire gala of people held up their glasses and the words, "To Sirius," jumbled together amongst the voices. Harry wasn't paying attention to the guests though, his eyes were glued to Hermione and he mouthed a thank you across the room to her his eyes shining with unshed tears. For the first time in what seemed like years Harry felt pure happiness. It was the only thing that he had ever wanted for Sirius's memory and now he had it. For the first time in a long time Harry felt content with the passing of his godfather. For the first time Harry felt like Sirius was truly at peace.

He let out a choke of a laugh and realized now that he was shaking rather madly, he set his drink down on the table next to him and tried to steady his trembling hands. He jammed his hands in his pockets and cleared his throat rather noisily. It hadn't even occurred to him how overwhelming this entire situation might be, he wiped at his brow nervously and darted for the great hall doors anxiety etched all over his face. Slipping out unnoticed by all the hustle and bustle among the guests he immediately followed the familiar route towards the astronomy tower. He knew it would be deserted and he needed to compose himself. After a few brisk minutes of climbing he reached the trap door and pushed through to his solace. Immediately his heart rate slowed and he greeted the night air with a deep and steady intake of breath.

He leaned his elbows against the railing and stared out at the sky in front of him. It was a beautiful night, not a cloud in sight and the stars shined brightly over the mountains, the half-moon reflecting across the rippling water of the lake. He couldn't believe that after seventeen years Sirius's name had finally been cleared, it seemed surreal to him and Harry deeply sighed out relief his thoughts clouding him as he pulled at his tie.

"Seventeen years," Harry mumbled to himself failing to hear the light pitter patter on the stairs behind him. "Seventeen years and you're finally free."

"I had a bet going with George," a voice startled him from his day dreams, "of who would keep their tie on the longest without touching it. Ron lost, but I knew you wouldn't last long after him."

"Hermione," Harry had jumped nearly a foot in the air, "You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry," she chuckled out lightly stepping forward to join him. She held up her hands which held her high heels. "I never was one for heals." She stared out at the lake her hands dangling over the railing. Harry watched her curiously from the corner of his eye and his breath hitched in his throat. Her eyes glowed softly against the starry expanse of sky and her hair caught the moonlight as it fell off her shoulder pooling around her chest in golden waves. Harry didn't know how he could have missed it for the last seven years. Her beauty was the most obvious thing on the planet, her eyes, her skin, her lips, everything about her unhinged him. Their dance tonight proved that. For in a matter of minutes he had forgotten about everything and anything that wasn't Hermione.

"What are you doing up here Harry?" Hermione asked averting her eyes to his. It was an accusation, or even a question really, more of a statement.

"Letting go," Harry said simply turning to face her, "Hermione, what you did in there-"

"Was nothing you wouldn't have done for me," she cut him off quickly shaking her head.

"Thank you," Harry whispered quietly his eyes shining with sincerity his hair windblown from the night breeze.

Hermione felt odd under his gaze and she averted her eyes to the lake once again. "It's amazing how different you look." She sounded in awe herself.

"What do you mean?" Harry raised his eyebrows, "Is it the beard or the black? I feel a bit like Malfoy."

Hermione stifled a laugh, "No, although it is a bit odd to see you with facial hair. You just look… I don't know, different to me."

"You look different too," Harry murmured shyly, "in a good way."

"Ron still looks the same," Hermione shook her head, "still that mop of red hair and goofy smile."

Harry's heart sunk and he nodded reality nipping at his heels. "Yeah he does."

"Harry," Hermione started tentatively biting her lip as she turned to face him, "come home."

Harry avoided her pleading eyes, he knew if he made contact he would cave. "Hermione, I love the Weasley's, but… it's not my home and it never has been."

"Harry, you can't honestly tell me that Grimmauld Place is more of a home than the Burrow."

Harry lowered his eyes at her and gritted his teeth glaring ahead of him to nothing. "Please, Hermione, just drop it."

"Okay…" she quietly hugged her stomach watching him uncertainly and a shiver slithered up her spine.

"If I had my jacket I would give it to you," Harry mumbled distantly. He hadn't remembered where he put it since they danced and his pale arms were prickly with goose bumps from the faint breeze.

"There is a gathering tonight at the Three Broomsticks. Just a few of us, Ron, Ginny, George, Neville, Luna, maybe even Seamus or Dean. I know you don't want to come home and I won't push it, but it would mean a lot to Ron… it would mean a lot to me if you would come… just for an hour or two. I won't push it, but we miss you Harry."

Harry stood deep in thought his shoulders shrugged, "Just a few people?"

"No more than ten, I promise," Hermione said hope strong in her voice, "Just drinks and laughter, as a way to unwind. Do you really want to spend the night alone on the death date of Sirius?"

Harry looked at her for the first time in minutes his eyes full of fear and sadness and there was the scared eleven year-old that Hermione remembered so well. Her heart melted and she reached forward to take his hand placing the other one on his cheek. Harry's heart rate picked up and he leaned into her touch desperation pulsing through his blood. She was inches from him and his arms stood stark still at his sides afraid he wouldn't let go if he were to return her touch.

"What in the world are you so afraid of?" Hermione begged.

Harry reached up with his right hand and pushed a strand of hair from her face his inhibitions clouded with desire, "You."

"What?" Hermione dropped her hand from his cheek and stepped back and reality slapped the fog clear from Harry's mind. "You're afraid of me?"

"No, no," Harry stammered out wanting to mentally kick himself as far away from Scotland as he possibly could, "forget I said anything."

"Harry what are you talking about?" Hermione yelped confusion screaming in her eyes.

"Nothing!" Harry yelled back gripping at his hair stepping away from her.

"No!" Hermione stepped forward throwing her shoes on the ground pushing him with both hands and Harry glanced at her incredulously. "Do not shut me out! Don't lie to me Harry! What the hell are you talking about?"

Harry stood his back against the railing as he gaped at her wide eyed.

"Harry Potter!" she continued to yell at him her hands clenched at her sides. "I swear if you don't tell me what-"

She couldn't finish her sentence. Harry stepped forward so quickly it caught the both of them completely off guard. Harry grabbed her face with his hands and smashed his lips against hers cutting her off mid-sentence. Her hands fell limp at her side and Harry firmly pressed his lips to hers an unbridled passion churning in his stomach. It lasted a few seconds, but to Harry it felt like a lifetime and it took everything in him to pull away. He dropped his hands from her face and gently pushed backwards stumbling over his feet her turned to the railing and grasped it with both hands his breathing erratic. Harry Potter had just kissed Hermione Granger.

Breathing was all that could be heard in the astronomy tower, heavy, off beat breathing. A line had just been crossed, a forbidden sensation that could never be taken back and Harry Potter and Hermione Granger stood feet apart looking at each other with wide and fearful eyes. There was a deadly silence in the air and the tension stood like a brick wall between the two teens.

"What just happened?" Hermione spoke barely a whisper her lips parted and eyes glassy.

Harry couldn't speak his heart beat pounding in his ears. He was looking at her through vulnerable, honest eyes and he couldn't come up with the right words to speak. So he just stood staring at her.

Hermione turned on her heal and covered her hand to her forehead her cheeks flushed a deep crimson. "What was that?" she muttered against her fingers as she pressed them to her lips.

It was like a trap had been placed over Harry's vocal chords, he wanted to speak, but he couldn't think of the words. He knew one thing and one thing only. He had to leave. Being with Hermione alone was dangerous, that much had been proven. So he darted for the stairs and quickly began to shuffle down them cursing himself for being such a coward with every step.