Chapter Eight

My dissertation had been easier than the research that was in front of us. There was nothing on the guardians. Nothing. Billy had been right that all of that had been destroyed- all of it pre-dated when Zordon and Alpha built these databases. Even as we spread our research into the public domain, there was still nothing. And this was the second week of us looking. The second week of getting up, having breakfast, researching until lunch, one of us going to workout, the other going to workout, researching some more, eating dinner, and then going to sleep to repeat the process again the next day. We had not talked much about anything aside from the research. We had over ten years to catch up on, but neither of us seemed to be able to start the conversation. We both seemed determined to find out something before trying to talk about our lives.

"Put down the papers, Tommy," she muttered as she walked over to me. It would have shocked me less if she had snatched the papers from my grasp and tossed them across the room. She had done that a couple of times over the last few weeks when I zoned out too much. "Tommy. We need a break."

"A break? I'm not sure that's an option," I replied and she began methodically putting away the papers. Apparently she had picked up on my filing system in the last couple of weeks and I let her put the papers up. I let her take us away from the work that was in front of us because I knew that this break was long overdue. "Are we going to actually talk?"

"That was my plan. You're not surprised and this is probably long overdue. How are you?" she asked and slid down on the sofa next to me. The Command Center had decided that we needed a library- fully equipped with sofas, chairs, and fireplace- nothing had been left out. It was like the Command Center knew how much we were going to have to sit and read and comprehend and hope. It seemed like the Command Center knew that we needed hope.

"I'm not great. I thought we would have found things by now that would give us something to do, other than read more papers and look at more books. The last four months haven't been easy and losing our friends…I'm not taking it well." Not taking it well was an understatement. I was taking it horribly and we both knew it. The nightmares had started on the third day and I barely closed my eyes before they started each night now. She had refused to move to another sleeping area, even though private rooms now existed. I don't know why she stayed and calmed me every time that I woke up screaming. It was useless that the both of us got no sleep.

"Don't you have anyone to miss you?" she asked and my breath caught in my throat. So much for this just being a check in on how I was doing mentally- apparently she wanted to open that box as well. "I don't really. As quickly as I moved up in the program, I did not make many friends."

"I find that hard to believe, but no. Other than my parents- there's not many people that would miss me anymore. At least not with everyone else gone." There it was- the truth. The truth that all of the people I cared about that were not kin to me, aside from her, were gone. I'm not sure why I care for her anymore, but I do. I care about her enough to bring her here and make sure she would also be safe. "Kimberly- I…what point are you trying to get to?"

"The point that if we're the only rangers left- we might want to actually try to get to know each other again. I know a lot of us not knowing each other anymore is my fault. I saw a way out, Tommy and I knew that you were in it for life- even when we were teenagers. I knew that I could not be the dutiful ranger wife and I was right that you were going to be the eternal ranger that you have been for all of us. Back then, I found someone that was basically everything you weren't- the good and the bad. But I would like to get to know this you- the you that you have become," she rushed out and I stared. She wanted to get to know me again? Why would she want to do that? Why would she care to know the person I had become? She had shown zero interest in knowing any of us, except Trini, in years. As far as I knew- she barely talked to any of the others.

"You're here so that I can keep you alive. I don't see that we need to get to know each other again for that. I lost you once- if I survive this- it will be easier to lose a woman that knows nothing about me." It was harsh, but it was also the protection that I needed. I knew that she could have my heart back if she asked. I suspected that she knew it as well, but she didn't seem to be pushing that. She knew what she had done and how much it had torn me apart. "You know that you are the reason I became this eternal ranger. I had a plan to leave it all too, but there is nothing like throwing yourself in to your duty to mend a broken heart. By the time I came up for air, it was too late- I was this. I was the critical ranger. The ranger that they all wanted as a mentor, a guide, a friend. Sure- I could have walked away once I got over the grief, but duty called and it kept calling."

She rubbed her face as she took in what I had said. Was it maybe a bit cruel to say those things? Yes. Was it how I felt about all of it? Also yes. I would not have become what I was now without her leaving me all those years ago. She would not be safe without her leaving the ranger world all those years ago.

"Why are you still here, Kimberly? Your life isn't in danger- you're safe."

"Well- I'm glad that you only view me as a damsel that needs saving. Have you ever thought, just for a minute, that maybe I can save you for once? That maybe my road to redemption begins by keeping you alive. We might be the only rangers left, but the last rangers have been killed, Tommy. You will live, because you deserve to have a life where you are more than just everyone's favorite ranger. And maybe, when you have that life- you'll understand a bit about living with regret, trying to make it right, and always failing because your efforts- will never be as good as that 'critical' person."