Chapter 21

It was alarming how easy it was to forget life and time in the Forest of Dean. The lush green shrubbery and sunlight falling through the trees in early August had created a kingdom of solace for Harry and Hermione.

They had settled into a strange routine, both eerily withdrawn Hermione had resorted to reading obsessively about Australia whilst Harry had become accustomed to venturing on long hikes, when in truth he couldn't take the silence that came with their newfound relationship.

It had started the day after she arrived, a sick and blubbering mess. They had shared a wonderful slumber of comfort on their first night and the next day had broken boundaries embracing in a playful afternoon. They were just talking about what to do for dinner when the letter had arrived. Harry didn't recognize the owl, and was thrown at first, but soon realized that it wasn't for him and passed the letter to Hermione who had recognized the lopsided writing almost immediately.

Harry didn't need to say a word as he saw her eyes peel across the parchment. He knew it was from Ron the minute he saw Hermione's face. The way her eyes glossed over with tears so easily made his stomach hurt and Andromeda's words rang loudly in his ears… You could be making a huge mistake.

He couldn't bring himself to ask to read the letter. It wasn't made for his eyes and as curious as was he couldn't betray his best friend any more than he already had, so he begrudgingly bit his tongue and pretended to be engrossed in other matters.

They had spoken in murmurs for the last few days and Hermione had quietly avoided all of Harry's advances to speak of anything, but food, coffee, and travel plans. He was used to silence, but somehow with another person his anxiety and loneliness were more stifling than ever.

It was even worse when a few days later he returned from his hike to see Hermione attaching a piece of parchment to the same owl that Ron had sent and while he willed his hurt to disappear he couldn't help his heavy stomach for the rest of the evening. Hermione had turned after releasing the bird and looked shocked to see Harry's back disappearing towards the river.

Harry didn't return until well after dark and Hermione let out sigh of relief as he walked through the tent staring at his feet scratching his beard which had grown slightly unkempt since they had arrived. This was all too familiar to Harry, the silence and awkward depressing air that came with the absence of Ron. Although he hadn't realized it when he chose to settle, but the Forest of Dean screamed Ron just as much as it did Hermione.

Hermione fumbled nervously with her wand trying to think of something to say. The air between them was thick with tension and unspoken questions. She could tell Harry had held back several over the last few days. One part of her was terrified that he would finally swallow back his politeness and ask her everything she had been too afraid say, and the other was dying for him to break the uncomfortable silence and demand answers.

"How's your research coming," Harry fell back heavily into a wooden chair startling Hermione from her thoughts. He gruffly cleared his throat and unlaced his hiking boots.

"Okay," Hermione said hesitantly. She hadn't gotten past chapter one of So You Lost Your Memory? By Caleb Cropkirk in the past three days.

Harry gave a curt nod and removed his glasses placing them carelessly on the kitchen table. He stood pulling his t-shirt over his head and pushed past the curtain leading to a makeshift sink and Hermione watched sadly as it fell closed behind him. Harry ground his teeth as he leaned his frame against the edge of the sink. He raised his gaze to the cracked mirror perched crookedly on the wall and ran both his hands through his unruly hair. Splashing cold water on his face he sighed in relief as he shrugged his knotted muscles.

He was startled for a moment as two arms closed tightly around his abdomen and a cheek pressed against his back. Hermione had threaded herself around Harry unable to take the relentless quiet any longer. "I'm sorry," she breathed against his back and Harry's muscles tightened at the sensation. It was so good to have her touch him again.

Harry didn't turn around, but spoke in a whisper, "Is this a mistake?"

Hermione didn't answer right away and stumbled backwards against the tent. "Do you think this is a mistake?"

"I don't know," Harry shrugged watching cautiously through the mirror.

Hermione couldn't help the water pooling in her eyes and she blinked back tears.

"Is this right?" Harry asked again turning to face her. Hermione hadn't ever seen him without glasses up close and his hair was pushed back against his head. His eyes were clear and demanding, his expression waiting. He was tired of tiptoeing around the truth.

"I don't know what to say," Hermione shrugged.

"Okay," Harry tried again, "Can this ever work?"

"What?" Hermione said, put off by how direct he was being.

"I mean is this," Harry pointed from himself to her, "ever going to work."

Hermione scoffed clenching her fists and pushed briskly past Harry and he followed her with a newfound determination.

"Harry… leave me alone," she muttered, but he was close on her heels and having none of it.

"I think we need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you."

Harry continued to press her as he blindly followed her out of the tent ignoring the chill against his bare chest. "Well I have some things that I want to say to you."

"Harry!" Hermione turned more forcefully now causing him to stop abruptly in front of her, "Leave it alone!"

Harry raised his voice an octave challenging her with his emerald eyes. "I think you're scared."

"Scared?" she mocked poorly.

Harry grasped her hand firmly and pulled her towards him placing her palm over the left side of his chest, "I think you are absolutely terrified."

"Oh yeah of what," Hermione retorted sharply challenging his gaze, her brown eyes swimming with fear.

"Falling in love with me," Harry held her gaze for a moment and dropped her hand gently turning away from her. "You saw how easy it was Hermione. You saw how this could be, and it scares you, it scares me too."

Hermione pushed her hair back her breathing erratic. Her heart was beating wildly pounding like a drum in her ears and her stomach lurched, close to hysteria. Her head was screaming at her, telling her to let go of her doubts and give up. Give up and give into everything she had been fighting since Harry Potter had kissed her on the balcony of the astronomy tower. At that present moment in time Hermione realized that her heart wasn't thumping heavily in her chest for Ron, or for her parents, or for some endless quest to find an unknown item. It was beating solely for the beautiful boy standing feet away from her.

That night Hermione broke away from her fears and doubts. She pulled her hands from her hair and with a deep breath spoke the words she had been hiding from. "Harry."

He raised his eyes over his bare shoulder and he waited his teeth clenched.

"I'm falling in love with you."

The words startled Harry completely and he sunk backwards against the tree his mouth hanging open slightly open, his eyes pouring over the beautiful stranger who was his childhood best friend. He had grown up with her. He had seen her laugh in the summer and cry in the winter. He had watched her fall in an out of love with life when things got hard and even experiencing seven years of Hermione hadn't prepared him for this moment. So he stood his emerald eyes grey in the moonlight searching the blur of her face as if she were going to disappear. She didn't disappear.

Hermione stepped forward and locked her fingers behind his neck, her nails digging firmly into his scalp and she pulled his lips gently to her own, this kiss unlike any the pair had ever shared and the fever that came with kissing Hermione soon enveloped his senses once again. He pulled her close and picked her up cradling her safely in his arms never breaking the kiss, afraid that if he pulled away everything would end. Nothing ended though and Harry and Hermione fell blindly against the bottom bunk, consumed by each other. Their hands roamed in places that had seemed forbidden, nails scraped, teeth grazed flesh, clothes fell and legs entwined until finally Harry pulled back pressing his forehead to her own searching her hazy eyes.

"H… Hermione," he breathed out heavily, "We don't have to… to do this… tonight… I've never… done this before."

"I haven't either," she paused waiting and she threaded her fingers in his.

"You and…"

"Never… You and G-"

"No… never," Harry mumbled his chest rising and falling heavily, "It's always been you."

Hermione's heart lurched and she flipped them so that she was straddling his middle and with a slight quiver she whispered, "I want to... I want to feel this with you Harry," and she leaned down and captured her lips in his unclasping the back of her bra with shaky fingers. It was awkward, quick at times and slower during others. There was an inexperienced desperation in their movements as two damaged kids found peace.

Innocence was lost that night in the Forest of Dean.

Innocence was lost, but love was found.