A/N: Updates will be coming a bit more sparingly since I have actual work to do now. But knowing my procrastination habits, probably not that sparingly.
And so we actually have (a bit) of plot development here! Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, I'm glad the reunion didn't disappoint. Here, I think, is my longest chapter yet.
"Give him some time, Sirius."
"Remember, you've had a month to get used to being alive. Remus just found out."
"It would have come as quite a shock to him, mate."
A distinctly feminine snort. "Understatement of the year, Ronald."
Harry could see that none of what he, Ron and Hermione was saying was helping much at all. Sirius had paced the length of the living room at least ten times over, and the agitated expression on his face hadn't faded even a little.
"You're going to wear a hole in the carpet soon, Sirius," he said, attempting to lighten the atmosphere.
The silence that greeted his statement told him he had failed.
He watched his godfather continue his pacing, trying not to let the anxiety show on his face. He couldn't really blame Remus for his reaction. It had been three hours since he had Disapparated from his house; Harry had no idea where he'd gone – Tonks had sent her Patronus asking whether Harry knew where he was, which meant he hadn't gone home. He was beginning to get worried.
There was also something strange about Tonks's Patronus that he hadn't been able to put his finger on. It had appeared when he was alone in the kitchen, attempting to fix some food for everyone, and he was glad about that—he wasn't sure how Sirius would react to it if he had heard. He hadn't sent a reply back.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione frantically waving a hand to get his attention. He frowned at her, directed his eyes towards Sirius, back at her, then shook his head, hoping she understood his point. In response, Hermione simply gestured even more urgently, hand flapping back and forth so fast it blurred. Harry gave her a look of supreme irritation that was distinctly Hermione-esque in itself, sidestepped Sirius, and went to lean on the wall next to Hermione. "What?" He hissed, more snarkily than he intended.
She didn't look ruffled at all. "The date."
"Oh, for Merlin's sake Hermione, I'm not going to play this guessing game with you again—"
She rolled her eyes and spoke right over him. "It's the twenty-second, Harry," she said, "you said we'd visit Minerva, remember?"
That stopped him momentarily. He rewound his mind back a few days. Yes, he had said that. He had to stop himself from scowling like a kid who had just been told he couldn't have any more chocolate. You're bringing this up now?
He shifted his weight on his feet and didn't bother to conceal the whine in his voice. "D'you really think now's the best time?" He whispered.
Hermione gave him her best I know what you're doing look, inclining her head and narrowing her eyes. She lowered her voice as well. "Harry, we have to do it sometime. I haven't been able to find out any useful bit of information at all, and as much as you'd like to think this is some omnipotent gracious spirit giving Sirius a second chance at life, I really don't think that's the case and I know you know it too. There's something going on here and we should find out what it is before it sneaks up on us and bites us on the arse. And as much as I hate to admit it, we need help."
Harry took the opportunity as Hermione paused for air to hastily interrupt: "Okay, okay, fine."
Looking satisfied, Hermione turned and began putting on her coat.
Harry blinked. "Wait, you want to go now?"
"Why not?" Hermione cast a glance over her shoulder at Sirius, then looked back at him, one eyebrow raised. "I don't think us staying here is doing anything productive. He's going to be doing that for a while."
It irritated him that she chose the worst times to be observant. "Yes, but, shouldn't one of us stay here to—"
"Ron will be here," Hermione said airily. She looked down at Ron, who had fallen asleep on the couch, and gave him a sharp nudge with her elbow. "Right, Ron?"
"Nnngh?" was the mumbled response.
"I said, you'll take care of Sirius when he calms down a bit?"
"Oh," said Ron, blinking blearily, "yeah, 'course."
"Tell Harry not to worry."
"Don't worry about it, mate," Ron said obediently. "Go and talk to McGonagall."
Clearly, they had already talked about this beforehand.
Feeling like this day wasn't going at all well, and that Ron's response wasn't exactly the reassuring one he had been looking for, Harry picked up his coat with a great show of reluctance.
"Oh for God's sake, Harry," Hermione snipped. Raising her voice, she called to Sirius, "Hey, Sirius? Harry and I are just going to pop out for a bit, is that alright?"
There was no response.
"He didn't hear you."
"My point exactly," Hermione said dryly.
And so, feeling outnumbered, and with Hermione dragging on his coat sleeve, Harry resignedly turned on the spot and Disapparated.
###
Remus didn't know why he was here.
He was leaning against the thick trunk of an old oak tree that overlooked the Hogwarts lake. Around him, the familiar sights of his old school brought back more nostalgic memories than he liked, and touched at old feelings that he had put extreme effort into burying. But somehow, in the middle of the confusion, the hurt, the shock that had happened a few hours ago, Hogwarts was the first place he thought of as a safe sanctuary.
No one would think of looking for him here, surely.
He rested his head back against the rough surface of the wood, clenching his fingers around the grass he was sitting on, and let out a loud groan.
Sirius was alive.
It had taken him a good few hours and some violent kicks at the unfortunate pebbles lying around the lake to come to terms with the fact that the sentence was true. He had ran over the scene that had happened at Grimmauld Place countless times, pinching himself so many times his wrist was red and marked with tiny half-moon marks from his fingernails. But he had to accept the fact that he had not only seen Sirius again, but had also talked to him. Physically. In the real world.
It had crossed his mind that the man wasn't actually Sirius but an imposter, someone using Polyjuice Potion, but it didn't seem likely that someone would have found so many of Sirius's hairs to last them a month. Besides, why would someone do it? There was no possible reason that Remus could think of. If it was to get close to Harry and to kill him, it would have happened already. If it was to hurt him… but he couldn't think of a reason why he would be specifically targeted. And if he was the target, surely the man would have shown himself to him instead of waiting a month.
Really, the one fact that convinced him it was really Sirius was Harry's certainty. "It really is him, Remus." He had sounded so sure, and the look in his eyes was one of such earnest honesty that Remus couldn't quite bring himself to doubt him.
Which, of course, brought him back to the conclusion he wasn't sure he wanted to be at. That Sirius was alive.
He should be rejoicing. Screaming in happiness. Laughing giddily. He knew that. But all he could think of was the pain, the heartwrenching sorrow that he had been put through when Sirius had died. It seemed such a cruel twist of fate that just when he had begun to accept it, Sirius had come back from the dead.
He wanted to kill him all over again just for putting him through that.
Waves gently rippled across the surface of the lake. As Remus watched, he remembered the night he and Sirius had come and sat just around the place he was sitting now, and watched the stars together. It was the night he had recited Robert Frost's poem to him. He'd felt like the biggest dork in the world, but somehow, Sirius had known the right thing to say. The poem had become a sort of mantra to them afterwards, beyond Hogwarts, beyond Azkaban. It had always been something to hold on to.
His chest contracted painfully as the memory washed over him. If there was one thing that could not happen, it was this. This feeling that was rising up from the depths within himself. It both astonished and irked him that the feelings were still there. He let himself have a moment of emotional clarity.
I thought I was over you.
But just as quickly as the thought arose, he quashed it back to where it belonged, hidden and untouched for two years. He had a family now. He had Tonks and Teddy.
Remus looked around until he found what he was looking for: a thick branch that had broken off from a tree, possibly from a storm or a harsh wind. It looked strong and sturdy. He got to his feet, stretched, then went over to the branch. He picked it up and weighed it carefully in his hands. It was heavier than expected. Looking up, he could see where it had broken off from, where a pale circular stump showed the place that the branch used to belong. Remus stepped back, holding the heavy branch like a baseball bat, he swung it backwards and smashed it against the nearest tree as hard as he could, letting out an almighty yell.
The branch crumbled into several pieces.
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Then, nodding to himself, he returned to the spot he had been sitting at, leaving the smithereens of wood blowing amongst the grass.
###
"There's a Patronus coming."
Sirius glanced over at Ron, who had slid down to the floor and was dozing with his head leaning on the side of the armchair. He watched the silvery mist coming towards him begin to take shape and spoke louder. "Ron. Patronus." He accompanied this with a not-so-gentle kick for good measure.
Ron blinked blearily and narrowed his eyes.
The silvery form was twisting and turning. For a brief moment, a solid shape emerged to say briefly in Tonks's voice: "Ron, I can't seem to find Remus. If you know where he is, please let me know." Then the silvery mist disintegrated into thin air.
Sirius stood still, staring at the place where the Patronus had been. He felt exhausted, confused and worried. He recognized Tonks's voice; it was just one more reminder than Remus had moved on from him, had started a new life, one that probably didn't have room for him. It hurt more than he could put into words. This was, however, pushed under the table at the moment by the larger, more important aspect of Tonks's message: that Remus was missing.
He turned back to Ron, who was frowning slightly, eyebrows furrowed, like he was attempting to figure out a complicated Arithmancy equation. He was also staring at the place where the Patronus had been.
"Hey, Ron?"
Ron appeared not to have heard.
Sirius sighed. He liked most of Harry's friends, and having spent so much time with Ron and Hermione in the past month they had inevitably gotten to know each other better, especially Ron and their countless Quidditch-talk sessions. The redhead was warm and friendly, and Sirius acknowledged that his freckles were cute, but he was an oblivious idiot. Even more so than himself.
"Ron!" He said, louder.
Ron turned, saw Sirius staring at him, and abruptly cleared his expression. "Sorry," he said, somewhat sheepishly. "I was just—er—thinking. Um. So what are we going to do?"
"I was just about to ask you that."
"Right."
Sirius let out another impatient breath. He glanced around the room, then up towards the great grandfather clock situated in the corner of the living room. It read 8:14pm. By now, Remus had been missing for most of the day.
He made a snap decision. "I'm going out to look for him." He started towards the front door.
Ron, who had spent the last few hours between sleeping and waking up dazedly to ask Sirius how he was doing before falling back into a doze, barely moving from the couch, reacted to this statement with surprising speed and agility as he leapt into the air and situated himself at the door of the living room in a way that reminded Sirius of the younger man's ambition to be a professional Quidditch player. "You can't do that."
Sirius gave him his most demanding glare. "Remus is missing." He said, as if that overruled everything else.
"Yeah, I know, but you can't leave this house. If a wizard or witch recognizes you, you'll be in huge trouble. Hell, we'll be in huge trouble." To make his point, Ron placed one hand on either side of the doorframe in a human barricade.
"I went out four days ago."
"Yeah, bloody secretly. And I think we all agreed that was a mistake, didn't we?"
Sirius stared at him sullenly. Ron matched his stare, unwavering.
After two minutes of the staring contest, Sirius threw his hands up and returned to the couch, grumbling, "I hate this."
Ron slowly lowered his arms, flexing his muscles, looking slightly self-conscious. "You and me both, mate."
###
Hogwarts was empty for the holidays, but Harry could see the yellow glow of lights emitting from the windows of the Headmistress's office. He had to hold back a grin as he and Hermione trudged up the familiar stone steps and through the echoing halls. Minerva McGonagall never took a holiday.
Hermione was going over what they would say to Minerva, waving her arms and gesturing enthusiastically. Harry had long tuned her out, choosing instead to focus on the returning welcome sight of his school. They passed multiple portraits, all of which gave them a nod of acknowledgment and a brief smile, and felt a wave of fondness as they strolled past the Gryffindor common room and the Fat Lady brightened at their approach, calling out a cheery, "Hello! Fancy seeing you here."
This was the first place he had felt at home. He remembered it like it was his first year, full of wonder and excitement and anticipation, with an additional tinge of nostalgia that colored all his memories.
"…then we can ease her into it so she doesn't collapse from shock, what do you think? Harry? Harry!"
Harry blinked and forced himself back to the present. Hermione was standing in front of him, hands on her hips, a familiar scolding scowl on her face. "Have you been listening to a word I said?"
"Um," said Harry. They were at the bottom of the spiral staircase that led to the Headmistresses' office, and he was quite sure Minerva could hear every word of Hermione's shrill, commanding voice. "No, not really."
Stifled annoyance greeted his statement as Hermione surveyed him.
Fortunately, at that moment the door to the Headmistress's office swung open and Minerva appeared, looking remarkably the same as when she had been Harry's Transfiguration Professor but for a set of new robes, which swished around her in a way that was disturbingly familiar to how Professor Snape's black robes moved around him when he patrolled the halls.
"Why Harry, Hermione," Minerva said, beaming. "It's lovely to see you both. Come in, come in."
The stone gargoyles parted and Harry and Hermione headed up the stairs, smiling. Harry found himself in a warm embrace. "Hello, Minerva. It's good to see you," he said, with sincerity he truly felt.
She smiled, patted him on the back, and turned to hug Hermione before ushering them into her office briskly. Harry felt her returning to her professor-mode.
"And how have you both been?" She asked, giving a quick wave of her wand. Three empty China cups appeared on the desk and began filling themselves to the brim with tea. Harry could see the steam rising from the surface.
"We've been well. And you, Minerva?" He heard Hermione respond.
"As well as I can be, I suppose. I assume this is not just a social visit?"
Harry looked up, startled, meeting Minerva's sharp gaze. He felt himself slowly turning red.
Minerva pushed a small jug of milk and a container of sugar across the table. "While it is lovely to see you both, it's the middle of the holidays, Hogwarts is technically closed, and I assume you both have better things to do at night than visit an old professor."
"Sirius is alive," Harry blurted.
He felt Hermione's glare even before he finished his sentence. That had obviously not been part of the plan.
Minerva looked at him steadily. "I beg your pardon?"
Feeling sheepish, Harry gestured for Hermione to speak, avoiding her gaze.
He heard Hermione take a deep breath. "The thing is, Minerva, there's been a bit of a strange occurrence – Sirius has somehow returned from the Veil. We're not sure how or why this has happened, although I've tried searching in the Ministry library for reasons and ways it might have or any past occurrences, but it's a bit difficult given the restrictions I've got—"
"Are you saying," Minerva interrupted, "that Sirius Black is at this very moment a breathing, living human being?"
"Yes." Harry said quickly, since Hermione looked as though she was prepared to launch into another speech of over-explanation.
"I see." Minerva's gaze swept over both of them before coming to a rest at a spot directly above their heads. She seemed to be waiting for something.
Confused, Harry twisted around and looked up. He was met by the serious face of Albus Dumbledore.
"Hello, Harry. Miss Granger, a pleasure." Albus Dumbledore smiled the familiar dreamy, gentle smile from his portrait, his half moon glasses seemed to twinkle.
"Professor! Sorry, I completely forgot—"
"Oh, I know, I know. Do call me Albus, Harry. You had something important to say, it is natural that you focused on it."
"Albus," Minerva said, with the air of someone taking over a situation, "what do you think this is about?"
The old Headmaster was frowning slightly. "It is—difficult to say. There have been next to nothing on cases of subjects being brought back to life after having fallen through the Veil. It is well understood that what goes through the Veil never returns. For Sirius to have done so is alarmingly strange."
"See," Hermione hissed unnecessarily.
Harry, however, had focused on something else of what Albus had said. "Next to nothing?"
Albus beamed at him. "Well done, Harry. Yes. There has been one case in the entire history of wizardkind where a similar experience has happened—but you see, that person was brought back for a specific purpose, and he was not brought back fully alive."
Hermione was looking keenly interested. "You mean he was brought back as a ghost?"
"Not quite a ghost, but not quite human either, he seemed to float in between. But with that case, you see—it took the work of a lot of dark magic."
Harry had the sensation of falling backwards into a very dark, very deep hole.
Minerva had stood up. She looked vaguely alarmed. "Are you saying, Albus, that this is some sort of dark power that's rising up against us?"
"That doesn't make sense," Harry said loudly. He could feel his heart pounding. "If it is dark magic, they wouldn't have possibly brought back Sirius, since he's clearly on our side."
Albus was looking thoughtful. "Has there been any other similar cases that has happened recently?"
There was a pause as they all thought. It was Hermione who finally answered. "No, sir. I'm sure if there was an abundance of people coming back from the dead we would have heard about it by now."
Albus was nodding.
Hermione spoke again. "I was just wondering if there was anything you—either of you—could tell us that might help with finding out why this has happened?"
Minerva had reseated herself at her desk and was pulling a cup of tea towards herself. Taking a sip seemed to restore her to practicality. "Not at the moment, Hermione, but give me some time to look into it. Meanwhile, neither of you must tell anyone about this, you understand?"
They exchanged looks.
The Headmistress sighed, and Harry heard Albus give an audible chuckle from his portrait. "All right, who else knows?"
"Not a lot of people!" Hermione said hastily. "Besides us, just Ron and—and—" She stopped abruptly and glanced at Harry.
"And?" Minerva prompted.
"Er, well, Sirius sort of let himself be seen by Remus—" Harry began, but to his surprise both Minerva and Albus were nodding their heads.
"I thought it would be him," Albus said, and Harry twisted himself around again, surprised to see the broad smile on the wrinkled face.
Something clicked in his mind.
"Wait," Harry said loudly, as Hermione started to smile as well, "you—you knew?"
Minerva let out a giggle that sounded distinctly un-Headmistress like. "About Remus and Sirius? Oh, it started when they were in their sixth year, isn't that right, Albus?"
Harry's eyes boggled. "Wait—they were together at Hogwarts?" He spluttered the same moment Hermione exclaimed, "Oh, that is so sweet."
"Oh, yes," Albus replied. Harry was sure of it now, his eyes really were twinkling. "They kept it a secret, of course. Although I think they told your father, Harry. And Peter Pettigrew too, at the time. However, they made the mistake of thinking none of the professors knew."
"Foolish of them," Minerva added. "Oh, but that explains it."
Both Harry and Hermione looked lost. "Explains what?"
"Why Remus is here. Oh, didn't you know?" She asked, as both of her old students looked startled. "He's been here since this afternoon, just wandering by the school lake. I thought about going out to talk to him, but he seemed to favor being alone at the moment. I assume that he has only just recently found out?"
"You could say that. He found out today," Harry mumbled.
"Ah. Well then."
"We should get a message to Tonks," Hermione said, looking anxious. "I think she's been looking for Remus all day, she'll want to know where he is—"
"I'll get a message to her," Minerva interrupted. "I know what to say. Why don't you both go and find Remus? I think by now, he will be wanting some company."
Hermione hesitated. "But what about—"
"Give me a few days to look into it, Hermione. I will get back to you. Meanwhile, just make sure nobody else finds out. And don't talk about anything that has been said in this office today, understood?"
At their twin nods, Minerva gave them a satisfied smile, and with a brisk wave of her hand Harry and Hermione were dismissed.
###
Harry saw Remus as he and Hermione approached the lake. In the light of the moon, he could just make out the lone shape of a man sitting under a tree, so still that it looked as if he might have fallen asleep.
As they got a few steps closer, Hermione stopped and placed a hand on his arm. "I think I'll let you handle this, Harry."
He turned, surprised. "What, me?"
"Yes. You'll know what to say better, I think, than me in this situation." He looked at her curiously, and then he understood. Because you know what it felt like to lose him. "Besides, I'd better get back and see what Ron and Sirius have been up to. They'd want to know we found Remus as well."
Harry nodded. "I'll see you back there."
Hermione cast one last glance at the lone figure sitting under a tree in the distance, then gave him an encouraging smile before turning to walk back in the direction they had come.
Harry squared his shoulders and headed towards Remus, the crunch of the grass under his feet sounding abnormally loud in the peaceful tranquility of the empty school grounds. As he neared, Remus turned to look at him. He hadn't been asleep after all.
He stopped with a little distance remaining. "Hey."
"Hello, Harry."
Harry was struck by the difference he could see in his old DADA professor. Remus looked exhausted. The lines seemed deeper on his face and he had leaves and twigs stuck in his hair.
He suddenly realized he didn't know what to say.
"I'm surprised you managed to find me here."
Slightly relieved, Harry took a few steps closer. "Actually, Hermione and I were here just visiting Minerva. She told us you were here."
Remus didn't respond. Unsure how he would react, Harry carefully sat down a little distance from him, feeling uncomfortable. He couldn't help remembering how he had blocked Remus's name from the magic passageways into Grimmauld Place.
They sat there for a little while, neither saying a word, simply listening to the sounds of nature around them.
Then, finally, Remus spoke again. "I understand why you didn't tell me."
Harry winced involuntarily. "I'm really sorry—"
"I'm not mad," Remus continued, talking over him, "I get it. It was safer to keep it a secret."
Harry listened to the sound of the lake rippling up against the mud. "I…also wasn't sure how you would react," he said hesitantly.
Remus let out a surprised bark of laughter. "Guess I can't blame you for that. I didn't take it very well, did I?"
Cautiously, Harry said, "Well, let's just say it could have gone better."
Remus let out a snort that dissolved into a chuckle before growing into a full belly laugh. Harry joined in, relaxing into a more comfortable pose. Neither of them really knew why they were laughing, but at that moment, it felt good to laugh.
With the tension broken, it became easier. Remus picked at tufts of grass as he confessed, "I honestly don't know how I feel about him being alive again."
Harry nodded. "I know how you feel. I didn't want to believe it at first, in case it turned out it wasn't real, and I had to lose him all over again. He was the closest thing I had to a father."
Remus nodded slowly. "How do you know he won't?"
He wondered if he had misheard. "What?"
"How do you know," Remus said, crumbling bits of grass between his fingers, "that he won't just die again, just like that?"
Harry said nothing.
"He was brought back from the land of the dead. Who knows where that is? He has already been dead. It seems that it would be remarkably easy for someone to say, well, that's enough of a second chance at life, it's time to go now." There was a bitterness in his voice that Harry could tell Remus was trying unsuccessfully to hide.
To be honest, Harry hadn't thought about it at all. He had taken Sirius's return day by day, without thinking of what might happen in the future. Now he forced his mind forward, trying to imagine how it would feel to lose his godfather all over again.
"I think," he said, watching broken bits of grass get swept up by the breeze, "that if that happened, I'd be glad I still got these extra few days with him. I think I'd feel that way with anyone I loved who had the chance to come back from the dead."
Remus looked up, meeting his eyes. Harry paused at the expression on Remus's face – it was one he hadn't seen before. The werewolf looked, at that moment, incredibly vulnerable.
"You know, then?" He asked.
Harry nodded, feeling a flush creep up his neck. "Erm, yeah. Sirius told us." He didn't say under what circumstances. He thought he should keep that bit of information for a more dire time.
Remus let out a hollow laugh. "I don't know if I can do this, Harry."
And Harry felt a strange sense of wonderment at Remus's words. He and his old DADA professor had been friends for years now, and had called each other by their first names even before Harry had left Hogwarts, but there had always been the knowledge of the gap in their years and experience, and Remus's role at always been the mentor, Harry the student. This was the first time he felt that Remus was speaking to him as a real equal, as a friend looking for honest advice.
And so, although these conversations were far and away not his strong suit, he did his best. "You can," he said, making his voice as firm as possible, "I mean, Sirius can be a bit of a git"—he got a bemused snort of agreement at that—"but I know for a fact that he still cares about you. And I know that he really, really wants to talk to you again. To be friends."
"Friends," Remus murmured. There was a distant look in his eyes.
"At least," Harry said. "Come and talk to him again, at least once. It would mean a lot to him. And if you don't…well, if it was me, I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself."
The werewolf smiled. He pushed his hair backwards, letting out a loud puff of air. It seemed to Harry that he was expelling the weight of the world from his shoulders. He suddenly looked miles younger.
"I think I can manage that."
Harry grinned. "Why don't you join us for dinner tonight? We have pizza."
Remus raised an eyebrow, glancing at his watch. "You haven't eaten yet? It's late. I should really get back to Tonks."
If Harry thought he detected a slight reluctance in Remus's voice, he didn't comment on it. "We haven't eaten yet. Don't worry, Minerva has already told Tonks where you are. You can afford another hour or so to have dinner with us."
Remus hesitated a moment further.
"Besides," Harry said, "I still feel guilty about not accepting that dinner invitation of yours a month ago—call this my way of making it up for that?"
Remus laughed. It was a sincere laugh, and it lifted Harry's spirits. "Right," he said. "I'll take that." He reached out and clapped Harry on the shoulder as the two men began walking back towards the Hogwarts gates.
No S/R moments in this chapter, but there'll be plenty in the next. And we're moving along nicely. I say that loosely because I didn't actually have much of a plan after their reunion until two days ago, but I've come up with a few ideas now. If anyone has something they'd like to see happen or any ideas on how the story should develop you're welcome to tell me! I can't promise I'll use it but it may just inspire me to write more.
As far as I know, nothing in JK Rowling's books ever said anything about people coming back from the Veil. That's obviously a bit of authorial discretion on my part.
