A/N: I've been on a writing bender for the past week and churned out another 6,000 words of this story. I thought it was a bit too long for one chapter so I've split it into two... the next chapter shall be coming shortly. :) This chapter is made up of little bits and pieces and seems a little all over the place but that will all come together in the end. Also, I would just like to say thank you all so much for 50+ reviews! That makes me so happy.
It was ultimately the wail of a baby's cry the next morning that brought Remus back to reality.
Bouncing his son in his arms with a hand resting on Teddy's small back, Remus felt the vulnerability of his child sharper than ever. Jiggling Teddy up and down, he had to close his eyes and avoid using his baby boy as a pillow for his tears as the implications of what had happened between him and Tonks last night finally hit home.
"What have I done now, Teddy?" He whispered. His son looked at him with clear brown eyes, and he was startled at just how similar they were to Tonks's. Even the dark brown flecks in his eyes seemed to follow the same pattern. He had never noticed before. Teddy tilted his head to the side, contemplated his agonizing father, and let out a small hiccup.
"I'm sorry." Remus pulled Teddy closer, softly speaking the words with the hope that it would somehow wash the past twenty-four hours away if he only said it enough times. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
But it didn't, of course. The memory of what happened was etched firmly in Remus's mind, replaying itself like a black and white tape on loop, and nothing he did would erase them.
###
"I'm sorry, Ginny, he's still asleep."
"Well then, I'll go wake him up."
"No, um—I can't let you in."
"Hermione! I'm his girlfriend!"
"I know. Look, he doesn't want to see anyone right now. He's just a bit upset about something that happened yesterday. And besides, the house is a mess, he's redecorating, remember? There's plaster and paint everywhere, it's complete chaos…"
Hermione's voice petered out at the expression on the redhead's face. Ginny was standing on the doorstep of Grimmauld Place, her hair even more fiery than usual, and a fierce scowl on her face. Behind her, the streets were packed full of people, milling about London for a Saturday morning shopping spree, some casting curious glances up at the house as they past. She felt completely awful for needing to lie to Ron's sister.
"What's he upset about?" Ginny demanded. "I haven't heard from him in the last three days, Hermione. If something bad has happened I have to be there for him."
"Yes," Hermione agreed helplessly. "It's just—well. He, um—"
Ron appeared behind her at that moment. "Gin, hey! What are you doing here?" He clocked Hermione's look and remembered. "Oh, er, why don't we go out to a café and get a—uh—a coffee?" He raised his eyebrows to check with Hermione and she nodded emphatically. "Yeah, coffee," he said more confidently, "these Muggle café things are brilliant, Gin. You have to try a mosha."
"Mocha," Hermione corrected. "And yes, Ginny, go with Ron. I'll get Harry up and we'll come join you in a bit."
The mixture of confusion and anger on Ginny's face made Hermione wince. "What the hell's going on, Hermione?"
She looked despairingly at Ron.
"Come on, Gin, I'll tell you on the way to the café," Ron said hastily, taking his sister by the arm and half dragging her down the front steps. "See you there!" He called over his shoulder. He met Hermione's eyes, eyes slightly panicked, and mouthed: What am I supposed to say?
Feeling hopeless, Hermione widened her eyes in return. Make it up, she mouthed back.
Ron sighed, loping an arm over his sister's shoulder and leading her down the sidewalk as they attempted to blend in to the Muggles around them. Bloody fucking hell.
He really hoped this charade would end soon.
###
She watched Ron and Ginny disappear down the street, then slammed the front door shut and ran up the stairs, taking it two at a time. She made her way down the corridor and gave the door at the end of the hallway a cursory rap before walking unceremoniously inside and zeroing straight to the bed in the corner.
"Harry Potter! Get up!"
Hermione placed both hands on her waist and glowered at the bed in her best Molly Weasley impression.
"Your girlfriend is looking for you."
The lump under the bedcovers remained suspiciously still. Hermione grabbed hold of the sheet and yanked it backwards, then covered her face with her hands and groaned. There was a human-shaped Transfigured pillow lying where Harry should have been.
"Oh honestly." She contemplated the empty bed for a moment, foot tapping on the carpeted floorboards, then made up her mind. Pulling out her wand, she waved it in front of her and snapped, "Expecto patronum!"
###
Harry was, at that moment, standing on the doorstep of Remus and Tonks's house.
He hadn't been sure whether or not to come. But he needed to talk to someone, and for once he had a feeling that neither Ron nor Hermione would understand. Ginny was off the table because she still had no idea about Sirius. The only option left, really, had been Remus. And out of everyone, his old DADA professor would probably understand best the feeling of losing somebody close to you. Particularly if that someone was Sirius Black.
The silvery otter materialized a few feet in front of him just as he was getting up the nerve to knock. He watched it approach apprehensively, its glittering tail flapping in a brisk and very Hermionesque manner, waiting.
It swam around him in a circle once, as if to check it was really him, then settled in front of him and Hermione's voice came through, high pitched with supreme irritation.
"Harry James Potter, if you've gone and done something idiotic, I will find you and I will make your life utter misery, are we clear? Ginny is looking for you, she knows something's going on. Now send me a back a message telling me where the hell you are and that you're fine, and send Ginny a message saying you're all right and that you'll speak to her soon. Do it now."
The otter vanished with a rather haughty flick of its tail.
He sighed, feeling peeved. He knew that if he didn't do as Hermione said she probably could find him. Looking up Tonks's house probably wasn't too hard a conclusion to come to, anyway. Waving his wand, he did as Hermione asked, emphatically adding that he would return soon, by himself, so that she wouldn't come looking for him.
He did feel a twinge of guilt about Ginny – he knew he really hadn't been the best boyfriend for… well. Weeks now. He would probably have to do some groveling the next time he saw her.
Turning back to the door, he examined the flaking blue paint, then raised his hand, knocked and waited hopefully, praying Remus was home.
After two minutes, he knocked again.
He knocked again after five minutes.
He knocked for a fourth time at ten minutes, and had just turned away in despair when he heard the door swing open and Remus's voice, sounding overwhelmingly exhausted, cutting through the air: "Harry? Is something wrong?"
Relieved, Harry turned, ready to launch into an apology for disturbing him and a long-winded explanation, but was stopped short by Remus's appearance. His old professor looked like he had been through the third wizarding war, his face was drawn and haggard, shoulders slumped, with heavy bags under his eyes… and were those signs of tears? Blinking, trying to make sure it really was Remus Lupin standing in front of him, he blurted out, "What in Godric's name happened to you?"
Remus looked at him for a moment, then shook his head, waving a hand to invite him in. "Nothing, Harry. I'm just a bit tired."
Harry followed him. "I think even Teddy could see through that lie, Remus."
The werewolf tensed at that, stopping in the middle of the living room, his hands resting on the back of a couch. Harry watched his fingers clench around the worn cloth until it looked like the top of the couch was about to explode.
"Er, Remus…?"
"It's over."
The words were said so softly Harry wasn't sure if he'd heard properly. "Excuse me?" He said, frowning.
Remus let go of the couch. Harry could see a deep imprint of the palms of his hands where they had been. Turning to Harry, Remus took a deep breath and repeated, "It's over."
Now he was sure he hadn't heard right. "What's over?" He asked, confused.
"My marriage."
Anything he was about to say died on his tongue. Harry stared; Remus avoided his gaze, squinting at his hands instead, his entire body tensed at an awkward angle and so shielded with defences that Harry couldn't read the expression on his face at all. Unsure of what to say, the only thing he could muster up was a weakly mumbled, "I'm sorry."
Remus shrugged. "It's… it'll blow over," he said.
The conversation with Ron a few weeks ago sprang into Harry's mind. He cast a hesitating glance at Remus. "Will it?"
Remus's shoulders slumped. He looked away and slowly slid down the back of the couch, like his legs no longer had the strength or energy to hold him upright. "It's over," he whispered. "What the hell am I going to do now, Harry?"
Feeling utterly hopeless and that the situation was far from what he was comfortable handling, Harry crouched down beside him awkwardly. "I don't know," he said honestly.
They simply sat there for a while, Harry keeping Remus company. He didn't know what the right response was to an announcement like that. What's more, he wasn't sure what the protocol was with wizard marriages—was there divorce in the wizarding world? He realized at that moment that he didn't know a single wizarding couple who had gotten a divorce. Couples who weren't happily married were widowed.
"Can you get a divorce?"
Remus swallowed. "Technically, yes. But it's rare for couples in the wizarding world to get divorced or separated after they are married. It's to do with the bonding ritual couples go through in the marriage ceremony – usually that connection is difficult to severe." He looked away.
Harry had to bite his tongue to stop himself from asking the next question. It had popped into his head seconds after he had processed what Remus was telling him, but even he could tell it probably wasn't the most sensitive thing to say at the moment.
"Does this have anything to do with Sirius?"
It took a moment for him to realize that he had spoken out loud. It had managed to slip out after all. He cursed himself silently; he could practically hear Hermione's voice in his head telling him that he had less tact than a teapot.
Remus didn't seem to have heard him. The man was staring blankly into space, like he had completely forgotten Harry was there.
"Remus?"
Nothing.
Just as he had decided to Accio a cup of tea for him, Remus shook his head. It was a slow movement, seemingly uncertain at first, then increased in strength as he became more determined. "No," he said firmly. "No, no it's not."
Harry fidgeted with the wand in his hands.
"It isn't. Dora and I were having problems far before I even found out that Sirius was—" Remus broke off, swallowed, before taking another breath to continue. "Alive. You know that, you asked me if my marriage was alright about a week ago. I'd say that wasn't completely out of the blue."
Harry flushed slightly. "Yeah, well, that was because Ron—" He stopped. You and your big mouth, Potter.
Remus let out a huff of bitter amusement. "The influence of Molly Weasley, I'd wager. Looks like she was right."
It was hard watching the man that had mentored him in his youth look so broken. Harry sat up and waved his wand, catching the cup of tea that flew towards him. "Here, drink this," he said, shoving the cup into Remus's hands. "Look, maybe it's not all as final as you think. Maybe you should try talking to Tonks again."
Remus said nothing, cradling the cup in his hands like it was a newborn baby.
"I mean, you two were so in love two years ago, I remember how long you held out to date her in the first place—and now you're just going to let all of that go?" Harry really wasn't quite sure whether or not he was giving the right advice or saying the right things, but anything was better than sitting in this stifling silence for a second longer watching his old professor wallow.
Remus seemed to have gone mute again, staring at the same spot on the carpet.
Harry took a deep breath. "And what about Teddy?"
That seemed to have caught his attention. Harry could almost see the internal battle raging inside Remus's head, until finally the werewolf sighed.
"I might find Dora and talk to her again tomorrow night. Maybe we can work something out – for Teddy's sake."
Harry thought he would feel relieved. But he couldn't shake the nagging sensation at the back of his mind that somehow, he hadn't said the right thing, and that Remus's response didn't seem to lighten up the man's own feelings as it should have, either.
But he had never been good at these emotional talks. It was part of the reason he thought his own relationship with Ginny was doomed to fail. He could sense Hermione giving him an exasperated look and Ron shaking his head saying, "You should have stayed out of it, mate."
"Don't tell Sirius."
Harry paused, pulling himself out of his own thoughts, then blinked at Remus in surprise. He weighed his answer carefully. "Don't tell Sirius you and Tonks are separated, or don't tell Sirius you're planning to try and fix it?"
Remus looked at him evenly. "Both. I mean it, Harry. I'll tell him myself when I'm ready. Can you promise me that?"
He didn't really have a choice, anyway. "Promise," he said, giving Remus a nod.
"I don't suppose he'll feel too sympathetic about all this anyway. Marriage was never Sirius's thing."
They had just had what felt like hours of a heavy heart-to-heart, so it took a moment for the fog to lift and Harry to understand what Remus was really asking. He felt a smile tug at his lips, but managed to hold it back. "The only way to find out would be to tell him," he said nonchalantly.
"Bloody bastard," Remus muttered. "It would be so easy if I could blame this all on him."
He raised his eyebrows.
Upstairs, a sharp baby's cry carried down through to the living room and Remus jumped up immediately. "Thanks for coming by, Harry. I appreciate it, I really do." He started walking towards the door then paused and turned back, a slight frown creasing his forehead. "Oh, I'm sorry—did you want to talk to me about something when you came here?"
Harry hesitated. The Veil issue seemed to have faded to another lifetime ago. You can figure out a solution by yourself, Harry. There's no evidence anywhere yet that Minerva's right. Don't jump to conclusions. Besides, Remus clearly has enough to worry about.
He forced a smile. "No, it was nothing. Don't worry about it."
Teddy's wails grew louder. Remus hesitated one more second. "You sure?"
Harry nodded.
"Right then. Would you mind letting yourself out? I have to…" Remus waved an arm vaguely towards the staircase.
Harry took the hint. "Sure, I have to be going anyway—there's a project I'm working on at the moment. Give Teddy a kiss for me."
He waited until Remus had disappeared up the stairs before taking out his wand and conjuring up his patronus.
"Tell Hermione to get ready all the books that Minerva gave us," he told the stag galloping around him, "and get Ron there, too. We've got a lot of work to do."
His patronus raised itself up on its hind legs, gave a toss of its antlers, then turned and cantered off into thin air.
Harry stowed his wand back into his pocket and headed for the front door. Sirius wouldn't be going back to the Veil. Not if he could help it.
###
"Anything?" Harry asked for what was possibly the fiftieth time that afternoon.
Hermione looked up from behind a wall of books, hair frazzled, expression a picture of irritation. "Since you asked sixty seconds ago? No, Harry. Nothing."
He sighed and leaned back on the back two legs of his kitchen chair, staring up at the ceiling.
It was so unfair. There had to be another explanation.
"I refuse to accept it," he said fiercely. "If you think Minerva's right, then we're going to have to find solid, hard proof before I will say it's true, and there's only one way to do that—"
Ron gave him a look of a man doomed to his death. "Oh no, please don't say—"
"—We're going to have to find one of the Death Eaters."
Ron let out a loud groan and buried his face in his arms.
Hermione looked apprehensive. "Harry, even if I thought this was a good idea, we wouldn't have the first clue where to look."
"The article on Greyback said he was in Europe."
"Yes, but that was almost two months ago, Harry. And I don't know how to break this to you, but Europe is kind of a big area."
"Look." It took Harry a moment to realize that he had shouted the word and had stood up, his chair falling backwards onto the floor. Both Ron and Hermione were looking at him warily now. He forced himself to calm down. "All these clippings, they're speculations. Not one of them has offered any hard evidence that one of these Death Eaters is alive. I'm sorry, but I can't go back to Minerva and help her perform a counter-spell for a problem that we don't even know for sure exists yet, in which case all it will do is send Sirius back behind the Veil."
There was a long pause.
Then Hermione let out a loud sigh. "I don't suppose we could talk you out of it now anyway."
Immensely relieved, Harry picked up his chair and sat down again. He picked up the bundle of newspaper clippings, flipping through the crumpled pieces of paper until he came to the last one. It was the article on the estate of Malfoy Manor, with the picture of Lucius staring coldly out at him.
He looked up when Hermione said, "Oh, Harry, I forgot to ask - what were you doing this morning at Remus's place anyway? You stayed there for quite a bit."
"Yeah, mate, and you made us come up with a story to tell Ginny on our own," Ron said indignantly. "We said you had hives and was too embarrassed to see her. I don't think she believed us at all. You're going to have to do some explaining to her."
Harry cringed. "Great," he muttered, staring back down at his lap, sensing both of them staring at him expectantly. "Oh, right… I just haven't seen Remus in a while, you know. Wanted to check up on him."
He had thought about telling Ron and Hermione about Remus's news, but had, for once, decided to refrain. It was Remus's business, after all. He also still couldn't shake the feeling that he had forgotten to say something important to Remus, and telling Ron and Hermione would subject him to half an hour of nagging for not telling them earlier followed by an in depth discussion of what went wrong with Remus and Tonks's relationship. He didn't feel like that discussion at the moment.
To avoid further questions, he bent over the newspaper clipping, rereading the article for what felt like the hundredth time.
MALFOY MANOR OFF THE MARKET
The luxurious 10 bedroom apartment that has been the ancestral home of the Malfoys for the last fifteen generations is no longer on the market. It had been put for sale four months ago by current owner and proprietor Draco Malfoy, who inherited the property after the death of his parents. Malfoy himself has not lived in the estate since the end of the Final Battle, residing instead in the home of his old teacher and family friend, Severus Snape, also deceased from the war. Due to its heavy Death Eater connections, the property has never been sold, and interest in it has waned. There are several speculations as to why the property is no longer up for sale…
He stopped reading, a sudden prickling sensation telling him that he was missing a rather giant piece of clue.
He scanned the article again, frowning, waiting for it to click.
But of course.
Hermione was wrong. They did have a clue as to where to start.
Maybe his idea wasn't so crazy after all.
I know I said Remus and Sirius would be spending some time together again in this chapter. I got a bit carried away and the story kind of took a turn in a direction I wasn't expecting. But I do have a plan here! Bear with me!
Any guesses as to what clue Harry's just picked up on?