Chapter Nine: Worry, With Love Thrown In

It had been two days since Shepard had gotten hurt and one day since Shepard and Liara's talk. They had talked about nothing in particular. Neither of them mentioned his kidnapping, his brother, or the word 'Batarian.' At first Liara had been a little mad at Shepard for not talking about it and especially for acting like that his bruises existed because he had run into a wall while on a particularly difficult journey to find a midnight snack.

Nothing changed; Shepard continued to act like a thirty-year-old asari child and Liara continued to act like she knew what his jokes meant. The crew said nothing besides their usual banter with the Commander and Liara felt like she had been dropped into an alternate universe. The talk with Chakwas helped Liara, but she still had some difficulty understanding Commander Shepard. Hands down, he was probably the most confusing person she had ever met but also the most interesting. He was like a Prothean dig site that needed to be uncovered and analyzed. Unlike a Prothean dig site, however; Commander Shepard would probably never be understood with the passage of time.

"All combat crew please meet in the conference room," Shepard sounded so uncharacteristically normal over the Normandy's comm. system. Liara could honestly say she had no idea what this was about and she could tell that Doctor Chakwas felt the same when she shrugged her shoulders as Liara passed.

When Liara entered the comm. room, everyone looked just as confused as she was. Shepard's back was turned to them and ever so slowly he turned his body to face them. He looked serious; this was new. "We're being called back to the Citadel, people. I'm not sure what for, but this feels fishy."

"Shepard?" Tali's hesitant voice spoke up, "Can you please clarify what you mean by 'feels fishy'?"

Shepard looked at Tali thoughtfully and chuckled a little, "I keep forgetting that you guys don't know human speak. It means something isn't right. I can feel it in my gut. Don't worry though; it's probably just a tough piece of meat making me feel like this. Regardless, I just wanted to let everyone know why we were headed to the Citadel instead of Illos." The Commander turned his head around the room a little and then announced,"Crew dismissed." Liara caught Shepard on his way out.

"What do you think is going to happen on the Citadel?" Liara was concerned by Shepard's lack of jokes.

"I honestly have no idea, something is definitely odd. Hopefully it's just something stupid," Shepard gave Liara his trademark smile but something was… off.

…

"Those bastards!" Shepard roared. "After all we've done for Udina, this is what we get?" Liara decided it was best not to say anything. Knowing him he would probably cool down in about five minutes. "I'll kill him, Liara, I will eventually! And you know what? I'll enjoy it!" Shepard said as he was sitting on the ground by his combat locker.

"Shepard, do you think that perhaps you might be a little dramatic?" Liara was trying her very best to not laugh at his threat. She offered her hand to him.

"Absolutely not! What's so funny T'Soni?" Shepard was now grinning at Liara, his anger dissolving completely. He took her hand and was immediately pulled into Liara.

"You're just cute when you're mad. It didn't help that your threat sounded so serious," Liara grinned back at Shepard and for the first time in her life she was involuntarily grinning. She wasn't being told to do it for some politician, she wasn't being taught about the proper grin for the proper time, and she was simply grinning because she wanted to. It felt like liberation and Liara loved it.

She had stopped talking when she realized that her heart was in her mouth. Shepard was inches away and giving her a smile she had never seen before. It made her head feel weak and before she knew what was happening she felt herself start to lean into Shepard. Liara couldn't tell if he was getting closer to her or if she was getting closer to him, or even better a combination of the two. In fact they were so close now that Liara had reached the stage where she started to close her eyes.

"Commander, Anderson is requesting to speak to you," Joker's voice came over the intercom and he sounded disgustingly pleased with himself. Did Joker know what had almost happened? Liara blushed at the thought.

After Shepard muttered words that would make Wrex blush, he quickly apologized and left to talk to Anderson. Damn Joker and his intercom! Liara wondered if there was any way to convince Tali that a ship-wide intercom was detrimental to their mission.

…

No way was Shepard going to waste the opportunity Anderson gave him. His former Captain had staked his whole professional career on Shepard going to Illos. He knew that Anderson could be court marshaled for punching the councilor, but Shepard secretly wished that he had been doing the punching.

When Anderson had given him the green light to go, Shepard all but rushed the cockpit to tell Joker to put the pedal to the metal, or whatever made the Normandy accelerate. Shepard was always like this before a mission, he realized. His emotions came in three stages: the first was excitement, the second was gut-wrenching worry and the third was a calm. When he made it to the worry stage, he always thought that he would lose his cool, but that never happened. Right when he thought that he would stay in his worried state of mind, calmness took over him and nothing bothered him. During a fight he had no emotions; if he saw a mangled body it didn't affect him. Only after missions did he think about the horrors he had seen. The calm he felt was probably what made him a great soldier. In that mode he was willing to give up anything for the good of the mission and that was precisely why he worried about bringing Liara on missions. He was only slightly worried about the enemy hurting her (he knew she could take care of herself) the thing that worried him the most was himself.

Shepard knew that if Liara dying was critical to mission success, he would let her die. He hated himself for it, the thought of how cold blooded he actually was made him almost vomit. To make maters worse, the subject of his worry was starting to walk towards him, a small smile on her face. Oh God.

"Shepard, I think we should speak in the Commander cave," Liara asked Shepard.

"Of course, Liara," Shepard started walking towards his cabin.

Once inside Liara leaned against his desk and looked a little sick. "Uhh… Liara, are you okay?" Shepard was wondering if she had a migraine or something because her hand was covering he face. "Do I need to get Doctor Chakwas?" Shepard almost ran to his cabin door before a hand stopped him.

"I am fine Commander; I am just… concerned about the upcoming mission," Liara was now looking at him now; her eyes were a little watery.

"What are you worried about Liara? I mean I hear I'm pretty good with a gun," even Shepard's trademark grin could only produce a little smile from Liara.

"What if one of us is injured? What if one of us is killed? How do you know that you're not going to die?" Liara was now pacing his small cabin.

"Liara I know that because I'm scared. Commander Shepard is scared of dying. The day I'm not scared of death is the day I'll die and believe me, I'm scared right now. I'm scared for you and me, but that's good. It will make my aim sharper and my body more efficient," Shepard was trying desperately to make her feel better. She was almost to the point of tears and he wasn't sure he could keep himself together if that happened.

Liara stared at him for a couple seconds, probably trying to gauge if he really meant it. She seemed satisfied. "Shepard, let me stay with you until we reach the Mu Relay…please?" Liara was almost impossible to resist, what could he say?

"Alright Liara, you can stay. I could always use the company," Shepard gave her a smile; even he felt it was a bit fake.

"Thank you," she gave him a brilliant smile and slowly approached him. Neither one knew what happened but they ended up in a hug which turned into a heated kiss…

…

"Shepard, I just wanted to thank you before whatever happens," Liara said, they were sitting on the edge of Shepard's bed. The pair was putting on armor for the upcoming mission.

"What for Liara?" he momentarily stopped his actions to eye her, she was still putting on her armor.

"For everything," she replied glancing at him. Neither said a word for the rest of the time.