Chapter Twenty Five: Crew Conversations
Samara
"Am I doing this right?" Shepard asked Samara.
"No, not at all," Samara answered.
"What? I'm doing everything you said," Shepard shot back.
"You're not supposed to talk, at all," she said calmly.
"Meditation sucks," Shepard muttered under his breath. Supposedly, sitting on the floor in front of a huge ass window was supposed to give him better control over his biotics.
"Perhaps it would not suck if you were silent," she said. Her eyes were closed while biotics ran over her skin. Colt had been fidgeting for a good twenty minutes now, but Samara hadn't mentioned anything up until this point.
"I'll try," Shepard said. He felt bad disturbing her meditation, but this was one of the most boring moments of any of his lives. Humming in his head might pass the time.
"Shepard?" Samara remained calm.
"Yes?" Shepard asked, a little upset that his intense solo had been interrupted.
"Humming also counts as talking."
Colt remained silent for a whole hour after that.
Mordin
"Shepard. Need something?" Mordin asked. He was looking down at something, no doubt discovering the cure for every disease. Naturally, Colt had to interrupt.
"Does Sur'Kesh have mythical animals?" Shepard asked.
Mordin looked up and asked," Why?"
"Paperwork is boring, and the extranet isn't. I found an article about the Chupacabras, and now I'm interested in mythical animals," Shepard explained.
"There is-," Shepard's translator didn't quite pick up the word, "Looks Salarian, nasty thing, water based, brownish-green, smells awful." Colt liked the fact that Mordin didn't even think it was a weird question. Instead the salarian choose to roll with it.
"Any stories to go with it?" Colt enjoyed scary stories probably more than he should have.
"Pulls in victims near water, drowns them, very unfortunate," the Salarian said. Would Shepard ever have to explain to anyone why he liked Mordin?
"Earth has something similar, called the Swamp Beast. Man, can I tell you stories..."
EDI
"So EDI, what's the meaning of life?" Shepard awkwardly asked the ceiling. He was reassured when EDI responded intelligently.
"I don't think I can answer that question, Commander. However, many searches of human literature say something similar to, 'Everyone's life has a different meaning,'" EDI paused a moment before saying, "Also the number 42 is referenced."
Shepard needed something even harder. "What's my middle name?"
"Lawrence. Shepard, if you are trying to make me trip up, it won't work," EDI's words were challenging, but her voice was neutral.
"Bill rode into town on Monday, and stayed three days, and then left on Friday. How is this possible?" Shepard was never one to give up the chance to ask an AI trivia and riddles.
"Bill's horse is named Friday," EDI sounded bored, even though her voice supposedly never changed.
"What's my favorite poem?" Shepard said. No way EDI would never know this.
"Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost," EDI replied. Motherfucker.
"How exactly did you know that?"
"A reporter asked you that question approximately four years ago. Your response was Nothing Gold Can Stay. My search engines are very good, Commander. I found out about your answer in point zero zero zero one two seconds," she said. The numbers hurt Shepard's brain.
"Alright, here's another one. What's Liara's favorite animal? Please say it's an octopus."
Thane
"Shepard, do you have someone special?" Thane asked.
"Uhh, why do you ask?" The question threw Shepard.
"We're going on a suicide mission, yes? If I have learned anything, you need someone to come back to during difficult missions," Thane answered. Damn him and his reasonable advice!
"I don't really know. We were really close, and then I... died. Her name is Liara, we used to be on the SR-1 together," Colt said. There was something about Thane that made him easy to talk to. Maybe it was because he wasn't all judgy. "How about you?"
"I had someone, a long time ago. I loved her very much, but being an assassin didn't make me a lot of friends," Thane said, "People like us don't stick around long, perhaps you should talk to Liara."
Joker
"So how's EDI working out?" Shepard asked. Joker was never one to disappoint.
"You know, when I joined Cerberus I had never thought I would get a second mom," Joker said.
"Oh come on, she can't be that bad," Shepard said. EDI's blue orb popped up.
"I make one little change to some reports and she's over there saying, 'Jeff, you can't do that, Jeff that's against protocol,' Good lord!" Joker was waving his arms around madly.
"I see, and exactly what were you changing?" Shepard asked.
"Nothing big, just reports to the Illusive Man, making it seem we're getting a lot done faster," Joker explained calmly.
"I see no problem. If the Illusive Man wants his nose in every piece of business, then we might as well make it seem like we're super human. Impress the boss a little," he said. Shepard agreeing to his plan impressed Joker enough to turn and look him over. They nodded at each other, and Colt was on his way again.
Jack
"Shepard...What do you want?" Jack's voice never failed to sound disinterested.
"Just wanted to chat."
"Bullshit, what do you actually want?" Her eyes gleamed dangerously.
"I mean it. I just want to talk with my friend," Shepard said. He held up his hands in surrender.
"What makes you think that we're friends?" Jack said, her eyes narrowing.
"Because once upon a time I was just like you, and now we're friends through similar experiences," Colt said, folding his arms defiantly.
"I don't think that's how it works."
"New rule."
Jack looked at him and started laughing, "You're quick, I'll give you that, but I seriously doubt you've had the same shit happen to you."
"Probably true, but I'll bet you anything I had the same worldview as you do," Shepard said. Bitterness controlled him for a long, long time. It hung over the past like a dark cloud.
"And what world view would that be?"
"Why me? I am a good person, so why was I chosen? And don't even get me started on the bitterness. I can't describe that pit. I can only feel it. And yes, I still feel it. Maybe I always will, but the better part of me ignores and re-shifts my perspective. I have to. I don't wanna' feel like everyone is only there to take. And you know what else? I always felt like I saw the world for what it was-innately evil. Everyone is naive. They haven't seen the universe like I have. Give 'em a few years and they'll see. And can you believe the shit that people get away with? Just awful human beings getting by or worse, loving life. How can I be suffering while they get everything they've ever wanted?"
Jack looked stunned for a second before recovering, "So what made your view change?"
"I had a few good people in my corner. They never took, only gave. If someone could be like that to me, a ranking member of the scum of the universe, there has to be some light. I also started to think in relation to myself. Fuck everyone else. It doesn't matter if they think you're right or wrong. You gotta do what's right for you and only you, or you've essentially lost who you are. And there's nothing worse, Jack, than letting the world take who you are. So don't give the bastards the satisfaction. Do what you need to do, and do it for you."
Jacob
"Every time I come in here, all you're doing is working out," Shepard said. He laughed at how true that statement was.
"I have to maintain my battle-ready body," Jacob said. He sat up from whatever exercise he was doing.
"I like that. Next time I go out, I'll have to drop 'battle-ready body' a couple times," Colt said.
Jacob was one of the most mediocre people he'd ever met. Nothing even remotely intriguing came from the dude. Hopefully he'd come around soon. Some of his jokes were actually funny.
"So we're going to find my dad's ship soon, right?" Jacob had been asking him this question every time he got the chance.
"Yes, once we recruit everyone," Shepard replied. There was no way he would let down any member of his crew.
Doctor Chakwas
Shepard walked into the medbay, and found Chakwas diligently typing at her private terminal. If there was anyone who matched Shepard's work load, it would be Chakwas. Actually, she probably surpassed him.
"Doctor?" Shepard called out.
"Oh, hello Shepard. What can I do for you?" Chakwas asked. She never failed to radiate kindness and safety.
"Actually I wanted to thank you," he said.
"For what?"
Did she really not know how much everyone adored her?
"For being there for Liara. You know, after my unplanned spacewalk."
"Shepard, it really was the least I could've done," Chakwas replied.
"Thank you, seriously," he said. Had he ever used the word serious before? Holy shit. What a day!
He smirked before saying, "I now propose that we break out this bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy."
"Now that is more my speed, Commander."
Zaeed
"Have I told you about the time that I single handedly wiped out an entire rival merc group?"
Shepard always loved talking to Zaeed. The guy never had a dull story.
"I don't think so," Shepard answered.
"Well, you see, when I was first starting up the Blue Suns; we competed with another gang. They were called the Moon Dogs. Stupid fucking name. Anyways, we kept having small-scale fights here and there, but I was getting real tired of 'em. One of my boys was a mole in their organization, so I had him send them to a warehouse for a Red Sand deal. When they arrived, we locked 'em in, and we stood in the rafters. We lit the whole place up like a fuckin' Christmas tree," Zaeed said.
"I'm no stranger to gang fights; in fact, I got this particular scar," Shepard showed Zaeed the twisted image of a Serpent on his upper arm, "from a boundary dispute." The old merc observed the scar and nodded with an understanding that only experience gives.
"Jesus Christ, did I ever tell you about that knife fight on Omega?" Zaeed said.
Miranda
"Shepard, what can I do for you?"
"Well, I'm just here to say thanks for doing a lot of my paperwork. Actually, all of my paperwork," he said. Colt absolutely fucking hated paperwork. Luckily, Miranda was a completely different story. Earlier that day, she came to collect reports and discovered the monstrosity that was Commander Shepard's hand writing. She relieved him of his paperwork duties at neck-breaking speeds.
"No problem, besides I couldn't let you continue to write with, what did you call it? Oh yes, your own font. The public record deserves more than the scribbles of what appears to be a two-year-old on a sugar high," Miranda said. For an instant, she smiled at her own joke before quickly scowling again.
"Don't you think that's a little generous?"
"You're right. That's an insult to two-year-olds everywhere."
"Oh, now you have a sense of humor," Shepard said, "But really, thanks again."
Colt walked towards Miranda's door before she called out again, "Shepard, perhaps the next time we're on the Citadel, we could get lunch?"
"Sure," Shepard said. He smiled kindly and walked out of her office.
Garrus
"Shepard, what's up?" Garrus turned from his calibrations.
"Good God, man. You've actually stopped calibrations," Shepard said. He was honestly impressed.
"It's generally a good idea to keep your big ass guns in working condition."
"Alright, I'll give you that," Shepard replied.
"Have you talked to Liara recently?" Garrus said. His usually smooth voice held some strain.
"A couple days ago, why?"
"You're just good for each other, Shepard. Don't let that go away."