A/N Thank you to CalliopeGalaxy for the beta! Thank you for continuing to read! Please review because writers thrive on feedback!

Chapter 6

Robb watched Deirdre's handmaiden taking her hair down in silence. His wife's beauty often made him speechless, especially in her unguarded moments. She had become so self-conscious about her size, swollen with his child as she was, but he thought the babe gave her a glow that was not dimmed by the hardships they had endured. She was full of life and it gave him a sense of peace in the madness of his life.

Too often lately he'd leaned on her for strength and yet despite the extra burdens she carried, she never faltered. She kept her grief for his brothers to herself so as to not upset him further and mourned her young cousins that had been murdered by Lord Karstark's men in silence as well. She had taken Karstark's betrayal of Robb personally yet she had not wished for Lord Karstark's death. Robb knew if he had asked, she would have asked for mercy for him. Her heart was gentle, perhaps too gentle for this war.

Who had he become that he relied on his wife for all his strength? Their marriage had been an alliance from the beginning, where they mutually supported each other, but now he demanded more and more from her and gave her less. She was always pushed aside for the demands of his kingdom and his kingdom got all of his strength. He'd gone to war to protect his family, as she had reminded him earlier today. But he's abandoning his only family members that remained to him. His brothers had died while he avenged their father. Robb could never bring them back anymore than he could bring back his father. But he pushed his mother aside and only burdened Deirdre with more and more woe.

The handmaiden left and Deirdre rose to come to bed. "Forgive me," he said as he stood and came before her. "Forgive me for forgetting the purpose of this war. I have acted more like a child than a king."

"You're mourning your brothers," she answered gently. "I know you needed my understanding and patience."

"Too much," he admitted. "I've leaned on you too much and grew comfortable in allowing it to continue. I let you bear the burden of all my troubles, yet I gave you little in return. I haven't been much of a husband to you lately."

She smiled and let him take her in his arms, snuggling into his embrace. "I knew you'd return to yourself again. Things have been so difficult for you recently."

"I have a hard time remembering times when they weren't difficult," he admitted. "When Father still lived, I suppose. But even then, everything seemed to have all changed when Bran fell."

She was quiet and he remembered that she'd been the one that found Bran after spending the day with Jon. And that night she'd comforted Jon. Did she think of Jon now? Certainly things would have been easier for her if she had married him, even though he was a bastard, rather than a king. Robb had the responsibilities of the North on him and if she'd been free to follow her heart from the start, Jon could have been a better husband to her without his loyalty being divided between his duties as Lord of Winterfell and his duties to her. If she had married Jon, Jon would have marched off to war with Robb rather than the Wall. Jon would be here now and perhaps Bran and Rickon would still be alive. But Deirdre would never be Robb's wife and he wasn't sure he could bear that thought.

"I wish Father had said no to Robert," he admitted. "But then I certainly wouldn't have you as my wife."

"Perhaps not, but you'd still have your family," she replied, her voice soft and thoughtful. "I think it would have made you happier. You could have married a woman of the north… No one marries into the Lannister family without paying the price it seems."

He stepped back, raising his hands to cup her face. "I do not regret marrying you. This war has nothing to do with our marriage. It began when Jaime pushed Bran out of a window and Joffrey cut off my Father's head. You are not to blame for any of that, no matter what your name is or your family."

Deirdre watched him in silence for a moment before biting her lip and nodding. She's holding something back from him, he could feel it. "What is it?" She shook her head and averted her eyes until he repeated himself.

Finally, she took a deep breath and quickly said, "When you regain the north, I want you to think about making peace with my family. Now that Sansa is married to Tyrion, they'll be Lord and Lady of Casterly Rock when Tywin dies. If the battle for the north takes a long time to settle, then the winter will be upon us and you know Tywin is not foolish enough to march into the North in the middle of winter. Winter could last years. Perhaps by the end of it, he'll be dead. Your mother already freed Jaime so Tywin will have less reason to fight. Perhaps when spring comes, so might peace. I know I can work with Tyrion towards peace." She said everything in a rush as if she expected him to explode into a rage and interrupt her if she didn't get it all out at once.

Robb felt cold and empty inside when he thought of peace with the Lannisters, but he knew that she and his mother both spoke sense when they said Father would not wish him to lose everything to avenge him. He nodded. "When the North is reclaimed, I will consider peace but I can make no promises to you now. Perhaps in the winter, my anger and burning desire for vengeance and justice will cool but now I cannot agree to allow Joffrey to survive and continue to rule. He killed my father. I know that what you say is true, Father would not wish any more bloodshed for him but if I give up now and Joffrey not only gets away with Father's murder, but everything we've suffered in the last months, including Rickon and Bran's deaths, will be in vain."

"I love you," she whispered. "I want many more years with you and our child. I want to see both of us grow old in Winterfell with visits from Smalljon and Jeyne, the Greatjon, Lady Mormont, Ned, Dacey and her sisters, and all of our friends and their children. I want to see your mother holding her grandchildren and their children. I want to see Jon and perhaps Sansa again if we make peace. One day maybe even Arya will be found and returned to us at last. You told me you wanted to fill Winterfell's halls with children. We cannot do that if you're always at war."

"We don't have Winterfell anymore…"

"It can be rebuilt. It will never be the same, I know, but it can be rebuilt and it can be ours. Perhaps the ghosts of those you've lost will not haunt it once when it's rebuilt. As hard as this is, as painful as it might be, this could be a way to start anew and put all of this heartache behind us. I think Bran, Rickon, and your father would want that. I think they'd want you to be happy again. And you can't be happy as long as you're waging a war. Robb, when was the last time you laughed?"

Her words spoke to the man he once was. Before he was king, before he was filled with vengeance. He did not know if the king he'd become could ever agree to what she proposed, but for the first time in a long time, he felt something other than anger, loss, and remorse. He felt hope and longing and a sense of purpose again. He wanted to see Jon and Sansa again as well. They were the only siblings he had left to him now. Perhaps, by now, Uncle Benjen had been found. He wanted to listen to his mother singing the songs to his children that she'd sang to him. Pulling Deirdre back into his arms, he held her tightly, trying to imagine a time when they could have the marriage his parents had.

"Once the ironborn are defeated, I will fortify Moat Cailin to prevent the Lannisters marching north during winter. And when winter is over, I will consider a treaty with them. I will not bow to Joffrey though," he finally said. "I cannot."

"I know," she whispered softly. "I wouldn't expect you to but perhaps Stannis will resolve that problem for us or…who knows? A lot can happen in between now and when winter ends. All of the older men swear that this winter will be long. Maybe Joffrey will do us the honor of dying before it ends."

Robb laughed and kissed her. "That would be a great honor." He kissed her again moving his hands to caress her belly. "And hopefully we can raise this one in Winterfell. If not this one, then perhaps his younger brothers or sisters will be raised there. I do not care if it takes two years or twenty. I want Winterfell back. I want there to be a Stark in Winterfell again."

"Right now I just want the Starks that still live to remain that way," she said with a sigh. "And this one to be born. I'm ready to meet this little one who kicks me all the time and brings such strange dreams to me each night." She looked back at him and said, "Robb, you must stop distancing yourself from Grey Wind as well. What happened at the Crag wasn't his fault, nor was it yours, but he's as much a part of you as you are of him. I know you still visit him but he needs to be with us again. You need to see that he won't hurt me and he never intended to."

"I know," Robb admitted. He'd spent time with Grey Wind but not nearly enough. He sensed how forlorn the wolf was becoming being separated from him. "I'll bring him in to sleep in here at night and have him around me more during the day, like he once was. If I am a warg, it's not fair to punish him for it."

"Nor yourself. I talked to Lady Mormont about wargs," she began and he gave her a shocked look. "Don't worry, I didn't mention why I was asking and I threw it with questions about White Walkers, giants, and the Long Night. She said that wargs were both feared and respected in the north. But they aren't evil in her mind. She's heard of it and believes what she's heard. One thing she did tell me is that if Grey Wind was killed while you inhabited his mind, it would be traumatic to you and if you were killed while warging, part of you would remain in Grey Wind."

"I don't plan to warg again at all if I can help it so that's not a concern," Robb replied. "But I will keep that in mind."

"Why don't you go get Grey Wind now?" she suggested. "I can wait up for you."

Robb sighed. He had intended to spend the rest of the night making love to her, not paying attention to the wolf but perhaps she was right. "I will but I expect you to wait up, naked and in bed," he commanded with a kiss. "The maester has said we should stop making love very soon so I don't want to waste time. That is, if you're up to it."

"It's such torture but I think I can manage," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and tilting her head back for a kiss. Robb indulged her, of course.

x-X-x

Robb sat with his mother the day before their departure to Edmure's wedding. "I don't want the Freys to know that Deirdre is remaining with me after we send Jeyne to Seagard. I will make excuses for her not being at the wedding due to her condition. Surely Lord Frey cannot fault me for that. I want you, Jeyne, and one of Deirdre's handmaidens to ride in the two covered wayns we'll be bringing. When Jeyne departs, she'll take the handmaiden with her and you'll ride with Deirdre so no one wonders why we have a covered wayn. Deirdre will not stay in the castle, but in the camp. I don't trust the Freys."

"I don't know how you plan to hide it from the whole army, but if you think its best. Lord Frey will be insulted but as you said, in her condition I'm sure you can make excuses. Is Lord Mallister aware of what threat might occur if your enemies think she's in Seagard?" Catelyn asked, her brow wrinkling in concern.

"Yes and some of the Umber men will be going along with Jeyne anyway so he'll have additional forces in any case. After the wedding, we'll let the information leak that she is not in Seagard and alleviate some of the added danger to the Mallisters." Robb tapped the map he'd been looking at for the past few hours before his mother had joined him. He should have every stream or hill in the area between here and Winterfell committed to memory now; he'd looked at it so many times and for so long.

"And after the wedding, where will you go? Where will Deirdre remain with your child while you fight for Moat Cailin?" Catelyn asked, glancing at the map.

"The only place I feel is truly safe right now: Greywater Watch. The Reeds will help lead our men through the marshes so we can get north of Moat Cailin. I've already sent a few men ahead to let Lord Reed know of our approach. Gallbert Glover and Maege Mormont will leave when Jeyne does to sail to Greywater Watch ahead of us. Lord Umber, Lord Glover, and Lady Mormont will assure that the men needed have crossed into the north and Lord Bolton will lead the other men from the South when its time. I'll regroup with them after our child is born. And you'll return to Seagard."

"You're sending me back to Seagard? Why can I not remain with Deirdre and my grandchild? Or if you insist on sending me away, can I not return to Riverrun?" she asked sharply.

Robb reached out and took her hands in his own. "I cannot spare the men to return you to Riverrun nor can I risk having you and my heir in the same place. If I should fall…"

"Robb…" she began and he shook his head.

"If I should fall, her guards will take her to the Wall. Jon will be freed from his vows and he will need to decide how best to retake Winterfell."

"You mean for your bastard brother to rule in your place?" His mother's look of betrayal and hurt cut him to the quick but he knew he had to tell her the truth.

"Mother, he's my half brother and the only brother I have left to me now. If I were to die, Deirdre's and my child's lives will be in huge peril. I know my men will be loyal to her and try to protect them but I cannot leave their care in the hands of one of my bannermen. The King in the North will be an infant. Deirdre's own family would attempt to take her by force and either marry her off or throw her in a dungeon. Can you imagine if Tywin Lannister forced her to marry him or Jaime? No, it must be someone of my blood protecting her, someone who understands warfare as well as life in the north…who else could it be but Jon?" Robb said as calmly as he could. He should have told her this long ago when the decision was made, when he promised Deirdre he'd tell her. Now it seemed like he was punishing her for letting Jaime go.

"Jon is a bastard. No one will be loyal to him or follow him into battle, even if he is your half brother. And will he reign in Winterfell until your son comes of age? What if you have a daughter?" his mother's eyes narrowed as she watched him. "If Jon Snow has power over your wife and child, he will rule the north. Surely you know this."

"The northmen will follow him because he's acting in my stead. He needs to rule the north until my child is old enough. And he needs to teach my child how to rule. Any child of mine will inherit, not just a son. But you can't expect Deirdre to rule when she has no knowledge of the north. And Jon won't be a bastard any longer. I have legitimized him in my will."

Catelyn said nothing as she rose and walked to the window to look outside. Silence stretched out for a long time before she finally said anything. "He will take your crown and Winterfell from your heir. You're trusting him as foolishly as you trusted Theon Greyjoy."

Robb felt the sting of her rebuke but refused to rise to the bait. "Jon is not Theon Greyjoy. He is my lord father's son and he was raised as such. You judge him because of the manner of his birth but that was never his fault. And Father raised us together. Jon was taught the same lessons I was. He has honor and goodness to him that Theon never had. He will honor my wishes, protect my wife and child, and rule well while teaching my heir until he or she is old enough. Jon will continue to look for Arya until he has exhausted his last hope. His being in Winterfell will prevent the Lannisters from attempting to take it using Sansa. I know you do not wish this…"

"From the very bottom of my heart, I know this is a mistake. Have you forgotten The Blackfyre Rebellion?"

"That is ancient history and Jon would never do that," Robb exclaimed, in frustration but growing steadily towards anger. "I know your feelings for him but you're not at all objective about it. Jon will do all that I need him to do. You are welcome to return to Winterfell when it's reclaimed and I hope that you do, but Jon will be there to help Deirdre in ways you cannot. You need to accept that."

"Most men would not want another man to help his wife in some ways," she retorted, angry. "You've made up your mind and nothing I say can change it I see. What does Deirdre think of this? How does she feel about a bastard ruling the North instead of herself?"

"She doesn't want to rule, Mother. You obviously do not know her well if you think she does. She doesn't enjoy being queen nor does she wish for power. She wants to be a mother and have her child live safely. I think if given the choice she'd wish for me to be a goat herder or a fisherman. But she accepts that Jon can provide those if the worst should happen." He rubbed his temples trying to sooth his frayed nerves.

Lately Deirdre had nightmares or wolf dreams each night. She'd woken him the night before last when she screamed out Jon's name in terror, muttering about undead things in the dark, then sobbed for hours about sensing Bran. Other nights she'd woken from the wolf dreams feeling terrified that Robb was leaving her. Last night, the maester had given her dreamwine just so she'd sleep the whole night through. Robb had been having more wolf dreams as well. And a nightmare about being trapped in the Winterfell crypts. He had nightmares of his father telling him the mistakes he'd made and Theon murdering his sons, just like he had his brothers. It seemed like the worse his dreams were, the more terrifying Deirdre's were. Now he was starting to wonder if something had happened to Jon. But Deirdre said he was alive. Robb didn't ask how she knew. He was counting on his brother to protect his child if he was killed. What if Jon died before him? What if he was dead now? Shaking his head, he forced that out of his mind. He couldn't live with the thought that all of his brothers were gone.

"Then there is nothing more I can say. If you will not allow me to go north with you, however, I wish to return to Riverrun with my brother and his new wife if he does not mind. Please consider this. I must finish my packing for our journey," his mother answered before leaving the room.

Robb checked on the progress of the rest of his men and saw that everyone was almost prepared to depart. Edmure was sullen about his impending wedding but other than that, the rest of his company was ready to begin the march home at last. He talked to Ser Brynden for awhile and explained the situation with his mother and Jon, hoping her uncle could perhaps get her to see wisdom and if not, he could at least convince Edmure to bring Catelyn back to Riverrun after the wedding. Robb couldn't help feeling that if his mother returned here, she'd never come back to Winterfell: a thought which filled him with deep sadness.

Coming into his room, he found it full of servant packing up the remains of their belongings. Jeyne sat in a chair near the bed where Deirdre lay.

"Is all well?" he asked with concern.

"The maester has decided that I don't rest enough and has ordered me to rest a few minutes each hour," Deirdre answered with annoyance. "I feel fine though so I wish he would stop clucking about like a mother hen."

Robb's gaze drifted to Jeyne and she nodded, confirming nothing was wrong. The two women had become very close in the last few weeks and Jeyne had become part of their small group of friends.

"Soon this will be you," Deirdre said with a smirk. When Jeyne's eyes widened and looked towards Robb, Deirdre blurted out, "I assumed Robb knew from Smalljon! Please, tell me Smalljon knows at least."

"He does but he did not wish his father to find out until I was further along," Jeyne admitted. "I honestly think he's worried that it might jinx it to say aloud. I do not know if he has told His Grace."

"He has not. I will act surprised when he does and the news will not come from me to the Greatjon. Congratulations, Lady Umber," Robb answered with a smile.

"Robb, if she's with child, it only makes sense for her to join us after the wedding. You wouldn't want her to be alone in Seagard with no one she knows. Besides, it will do me good to have company when you ride back into battle. Otherwise I might go mad waiting for news," Deirdre pleaded, reaching out her hand and clutching his sleeve. "Perhaps you and Smalljon could discuss it when you pretend to be surprised. It would make me very happy since you're leaving me alone without even Dacey's company."

"You'll have your guards."

"All of them are men. Have you seen Ned's eyes glaze over whenever I talk about anything to do with the baby? Adair is downright petrified of children, I suspect. He looks a little panic stricken when he hears me discuss the baby or their birth. I do like to torture him with discussions about birthing though. Apparently, he was the youngest of ten and has heard horror stories. Jeyne will be away from her mother, which granted is a blessing, so it's only fair that you allow us this one concession," she insisted.

Holding his hands up in surrender, Robb relented, "I will talk to Smalljon tomorrow. I cannot make any promises."

"Speaking of Smalljon, I must finish our packing. We only have a few hours left before supper with my mother and uncle. I suspect then it's an early night for us all." Jeyne rose quickly and reached over and squeezed Deirdre's hand. "I will see you in the morn. I hear we're to share a covered wayn together."

"The last time I shared a wayn, it was with Cersei, Tommen and Myrcella on our way to Winterfell. I suspect you'll be better company." Deirdre smiled as Jeyne left them.

"I promised Edmure, Ser Brynden and Mother we'd have one final supper together tonight before we depart. I'm going to miss Ser Brynden. I fear we might need him to keep Edmure from turning craven and running away from this wedding. He's acting rather childish." Robb shook his head. "Marq Piper told him that if she was that ugly he could just keep the room dark. I honestly think he should be more worried that her personality will be like Walter Frey's."

"Or Black Walder's. Can you imagine a female version of either of them?" Deirdre snorted. "I'm very glad I got pregnant when I did or you'd be marrying a Frey as well. And who knows who Tywin would be attempting to marry me off to."

Robb glanced at her in surprise. "Even if you hadn't gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have set aside our marriage. Walder Frey be damned. And if we had to, then I wouldn't send you back to Tywin unless you wished me to. I'd keep you with me or if I had to, I'd marry you to someone I knew I could trust not to hurt you," he said quietly. "Someone like Jon I suppose."

She was silent for a moment before saying, "You sound doubtful again, Robb. I cannot help but wonder if it has something to do with Jon and the dreams I've been having…"

"No, it's not the dreams. I finally told my mother about the will. She's convinced that Jon will take advantage of the situation and prevent our child from ruling. She even compared me trusting Jon to me trusting Theon."

"Jon loves you. Theon loved himself. I don't like talking about your will, especially now. But your mother is wrong. Jon is not Theon," she answered angrily.

"That's what I told her. Mother has lost so much. I think she feels if Jon is there then she's lost my child as well," Robb said, running his hands through his hair. "She's panicked she's going to lose me and the thought that if she does she could lose my son as well is too much for her."

"Stop it please," Deirdre said, sitting up and looking away. "Just one day, I'd like to not think about the threat of your death hanging over us." She slid off the bed and went into the privy. Robb felt horrible, knowing he'd upset her again. With the dreams haunting her each night, she was living in constant fear for him and he's only making it worse.

x-X-x

Robb's hands drifted to her sides after he unlaced her gown. They'd just returned from a nice supper with his family and for once it seemed everyone was in a fair mood. Edmure charmed Deirdre, as he often did, and Ser Brynden kept him and his mother engaged in conversations about thinks other than the war or somber subjects. Robb hoped his uncle was able to charm his Frey bride as well and then he curbed his flirtatious nature. In the process of charming her, Edmure had given Deirdre more wine than normal and she was in a feisty mood.

"You should kneel before your queen," she whispered, running her tongue around his ear as she pulled his doublet over his shoulders and down his arms.

Her gown fell to the floor in a puddle of fabric, leaving her only in a thin shift. She'd given up corsets months ago. Robb caressed her breasts with a smile. They were so much fuller and heavier than before, he could hardly resist. "I would say you should bow to me, my queen, but I fear you'd be unable to rise again," Robb teased. "And since it is my fault that you are in this condition, I will bow as you command."

Sinking to his knees, he pulled her shift up to her hips and pulled down her smallclothes. As soon as she stepped out of them, using his shoulder to maintain her balance, he gripped her hips and brought her close enough to kiss the inside of her legs. Lazily he dragged his tongue over her skin up to the apex of her thighs. Deirdre gasped aloud when he buried his tongue into her wet heat. He kissed and licked her until he had her trembling and clutching his hair tightly in her fists. The sounds of his sucking and her moans mingled together in the quiet room. Robb grew hard just tasting her but her obvious pleasure added to his arousal.

Standing up, he lifted her onto the bed, ripped her shift off and pulled one leg to his shoulder as he lowered his mouth to her again. Deirdre writhed beneath him, calling out his name and attempting to find purchase with the bedding.

She moaned his name loudly as she reached her release, her hips rising off the bed towards his mouth. After she had ceased her trembling, he stood and removed the rest of his clothing as she watched with lust filled eyes. Robb wondered if anyone else noticed the way she looked at him, sometimes even in front of his men or across a room. Not as obvious as now of course but sometimes her gaze would make him feel hot and consumed with thoughts of making love to her. He hoped no one knew her looks as well as he did, nor his for her. If so, everyone would know the hunger between their king and queen. Perhaps she was his weakness in his enemies' eyes. But she was his strength in truth. And her love for him had helped him survive this war and the loss of his family. Her love was stronger than the hatred of his enemies.

Robb lay beside her, turning her onto her side and pulling one leg to rest on his hip. He moaned as he entered her, fondling her breasts and kissing her neck at the same time. Due to her swollen belly, he had to be creative at times but he particularly liked this position. His hands could feel and tease her while his lips caressed her neck and shoulders. Deirdre had a weakness for hot kisses on her neck, even if he sometimes marked her with his teeth.

This would be the last time they could make love for awhile, possibly months, so Robb held back as much as he could. And when he finally succumbed to his climax, she lay in his arms only for a little while before she took him in her mouth. Afterwards he held her against him, enjoying feeling her silky soft skin and warmth against his naked body. She covered herself with the blanket but Robb was warm enough in her embrace to not need one.

"I love you," she whispered with a kiss below his ear. "I wish this wasn't the last time. Hopefully it was enough to last you for awhile. But if not, I can still give you pleasure in other ways."

"I would not want you to do something for me that I could not do for you. The maester said if you were too stimulated it could cause the baby to come early as well so we shouldn't risk it. I survived many years without this, I can survive a few months," he answered with a smile then kissed her gently. "As long as I have your company, I will survive. I do not know how I'll manage when I have to leave you in Greywater Watch."

"Nor do I. It's going to be horrible being apart. We haven't been apart for more than a couple of days and nights since we married," she said quietly. "Waking up alone will be the hardest. I enjoy seeing your face first thing, my love."

Robb swallowed deeply, his throat tight with emotion. He knew it was selfish to have what his men did not but he enjoyed having her waiting for him at the end of a battle. He felt less alone in the world. Soon he'd have a wife and child, or children as he suspected that he'd be away from. It was hard enough to be away from his family and his home, now he was losing all that kept him grounded.

"We'll make it through. I know we can," he assured her even though he wondered if it would be harder for him than it was for her. She would have their child, a living breathing reminder of what the war was for, to reassure her when she had doubts. Robb would only have his memories to keep him focused. He hoped it would be enough.