Chapter Forty: Linked

Something strange was happening to Liara. Something was different in her mind. She had noticed something stirring in her mind months ago, but had been too busy to pay any heed to it. Now it was too great to ignore. It was something separate from herself. As the days went by, the feeling became more distinct.

Liara realized that a swirl of emotions found their home at the base of her skull. The presence wasn't unwelcome to her. In fact she enjoyed the comfort it brought to her. It was always there, but easily pushed out of the way if need be. It was like a good friend staying over at your house, there but not intruding, as opposed to an unannounced family member.

Over time the emotions became clearer. It was a mix of boredom, feeling useless, and guilt. They weren't strong, though. Liara couldn't even be sure that those were the true emotions. For a couple months she just simply let the presence exist, but then she started to worry about indoctrination. Is this how it started? Comforting, and non-intrusive? She had to know.

One day she let Feron take control of the Broker network, and let herself do some research. The first thing she looked up was indoctrination, and all the awful things that went with it. However, nothing about it was calming, or welcoming. The process wasn't even noticed until it was too late, and she wasn't experiencing key parts to it. She never heard voices (thank Goddess), she didn't dream of or see oily shadows, and she didn't suffer from mind-tearing headaches. Nothing about her symptoms seemed like indoctrination.

The next thing she looked up was asari brain disorders. The one that kept popping up was the Ardat- Yakshi condition, but she knew she wasn't one. After all, she hadn't brain hemorrhaged Shepard. One condition had the unfortunate name of 'Juice Brains.' Another condition that kept popping up was nicknamed the Lover's Link. She didn't think she had that condition but it looked interesting.

The symptoms included a comforting foreign presence in the back of the mind, described in a way that Liara herself would use to explain what she was feeling. The extranet site she was on said that it happened when an asari melded with someone who had the capability to make up a half of a whole. It was a pretty rare condition that only happened to the closest of people or ones with capability to be close to each other, and took years to manifest. It could only happen between an asari and her soul mate. It could only happen, though, if the two subjects had melded. The closer the people were physically and mentally to each other, the stronger the feeling.

It made sense to Liara and Shepard's relationship that the Lover's Link took a long time to manifest. They hadn't seen each other in months, giving it enough time for it to exist. It also made sense that the foreign feelings in her mind weren't very strong; the distance between the two was huge. They had melded before. Everything described on the site seemed to match her symptoms, and the relationship she had with Shepard.

Liara smiled at this new piece of news. Knowing that Shepard was always with her was a comfort as was the fact that it was a rare condition reserved only for people who were complimentary to the other's soul. In the past years they hadn't had enough time to become very close, but this link meant that the potential was there. Looking back on their relationship, Liara realized that not a lot had happened between them. No words or actions had made them close. They just simply were. That vital spark in all relationships had been there the first time Liara had laid her eyes on Shepard. It was like both of their souls had just gone 'There you are.'

...

"Any visitors today?" Shepard looked at Lieutenant James Vega hopefully. During his whole time in Alliance prison, only Joker had visited. In fact he visited often, at least twice a week. He was the only one though, no Liara or his Mom.

"Sorry, not today," Vega sounded as disappointed as Shepard felt. He was probably getting tired of babysitting Shepard or maybe he was just really empathetic.

"Should've figured. On a different note, I think you should ask out that asari," Shepard smiled at the shocked face of his guard. Everyday on the way to the gym they passed an asari, and James couldn't keep his eyes off her. If he were going to escape that would be the perfect opportunity, since James wouldn't notice anything else but blue.

"Uh, Treeya? Ya she's not going to be here long. The Alliance is allowing her to stay while she heals, but then she's going back to archaeology," Vega scratched the back of his neck. This Treeya person sounded suspiciously similar to another asari Shepard knew. "I don't think she would like me asking her out," Vega wouldn't meet his eyes. Shepard knew that tone of voice meant something tragic had happened. He felt bad when Vega left quickly after that.

Shepard didn't read too much into his guard, though. He had enough to worry about. His mind wasn't his own. He didn't think it was indoctrination. That was an awful process, while this foreign thing in his mind comforted him. It was calming, and the perfect ice for his fiery soul. His typical high-strung nature had mellowed some since he first noticed this. For the first time in a long time, he felt peaceful. So he let the soothing thing in, and felt solace in its presence. If this was indoctrination, he didn't care, it was too nice to fight. It was a constant, but it wasn't forcing itself to be noticed.

Shepard didn't do anything about it for months. He felt no need. Plus he didn't have extranet service, and he couldn't tip off the Alliance that he might be going insane. It didn't feel like he was going crazy, but maybe that's what crazy people felt like. So it was hard to know, but no part of him wanted to fight it, so it continued to coexist with him.

One day, a little after three months in jail, he had the strangest feeling of danger. He couldn't sit still, and James seemed to notice too. Every quick movement sent Shepard into fight or flight mode. He could not relax, despite no immediate danger. He almost asked for his armor- it was that bad. Shepard could tell that it was connected to the part that wasn't himself. After hours it finally went away, and left Shepard with the feeling that it had something to do with Liara.

…

Author's Note: Why did this chapter take so long to write? If you guessed writer's block you would be correct. This was so difficult for me to get through that I have already written the chapter after this one. So the bad news is the long wait, but the good news is that I will post again tomorrow.