Chapter Forty Three: It Only Gets Worse
"Commander, Admiral Hackett wants to speak to you," Joker's voice interrupted the easy silence between Shepard and Liara. He was still putting on medi-gel after pulling out bits of shuttle from her leg. He seemed engrossed in the task, so Liara didn't say anything.
Shepard jerked his head up to the ceiling, and seemed confused for a second before his normal look returned. "Alright. I'm going, come on Liara. You know more about this super weapon then I do. Are you okay to walk on your own?" Shepard stood, and looked thoughtfully at her.
"I'll be fine," Liara stood and wobbled after Shepard to the comm. room. She walked into a part of the ship apply named 'The War Room.'
"Commander, was the trip to Mars worth it?" Hackett appeared over hologram.
"I think so, sir. We got schematics for the Reaper killing device. Doctor T'Soni can tell you more about it," Liara stepped up, and brought up the device's plans.
"Liara, do you think it will work?" Hackett stared intently at her. She knew that his trust in her came from Shepard's influence.
"The Protheans poured all their last resources into his device. They wouldn't have done so if they thought it would fail. It is capable of unthinkable destruction, according to these plans. I would say that this is our best chance at defeating the Reapers," Liara didn't break eye contact once. She had come a long way from the SR-1.
"Duly noted, Liara. Can you please send over the plans so we can look over them a little more?" Hackett spoke to Liara like she had authority. It was a great feeling.
"Yes, sir," she nodded towards the Admiral.
"Good. Commander, anything else?" Hackett turned his icy gaze from Liara to Colt.
"Lieutenant Commander Williams was critically wounded on Mars. We are taking her to the Citadel now," Shepard's voice remained the same, but Liara could feel his turmoil.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Commander. It's only going to get worse, though," Liara could see Shepard clench his jaw. "I'm glad you're heading to the Citadel. You're next priority needs to be rallying support for Earth from the Council," Hackett truly did sound sorry for Ashley, but his voice turned to that commanding voice that Shepard used on missions. "Shepard, let me be honest. You're famous, everyone knows Commander Shepard, and that is exactly why you're the perfect person for talking to the Council. It's expected that you're going to be reinstated as a Spectre, this will also put on added pressure. I couldn't think of anyone more qualified," Hackett might have smiled for half of a second.
"Thank you, sir. I'll do all I can," Shepard slapped off a clean salute.
"Hackett out," the hologram shimmered out. Liara started to walk out of the room, but Shepard wasn't following. When she turned to find him, he was leaning against the hologram controls.
"Shepard, are you okay?" Liara started walking towards him.
"This war has been going on for what? Two days? Already one of my responsibilities is almost dead. Earth is getting decimated, and we have no idea if Garrus and Tali are alive. Hell, I don't even know if my mom is alive," Shepard sounded slightly hysterical.
"Shepard, we're going to win," Liara set a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"I know, that's not the problem. It's getting there that's the problem. Hackett said it would get worse, and what if he's right," Shepard was still leaning on the hologram controls, not making eye contact.
"You're gonna get us through. That's why Hackett is giving you these high priority missions - no else can do them. Things may get rough, but we'll make it through," Shepard looked up hopefully.
"You're right. Thanks Liara. Sometimes the motivator needs a little motivation," Colt started walking out of the comm. room to the war room.
"I get the feeling that you're not very convinced of this Prothean device," Liara followed Shepard out. He held himself with a little bit of arrogance while looking around the war room.
"It seems too good to be true," Shepard gazed around the room. She could feel how he was re-adjusting to his ship. A simmering anger just beneath the surface was also present within Colt. Liara felt guilt creep into her.
"The Protheans wouldn't have spent their final days building it if there isn't something to it," Liara reassured him.
"I know, but sometimes a bit of skepticism is a good thing," Shepard replied.
"Do you think that the council will give you support?" Liara followed Shepard as he moved through the war room. He touched a few things here, and there. Shepard didn't speak for a while.
"They better, or this will be a short war," Shepard left the war room, and Liara behind soon after.
...
Good, Liara was at the meeting with the Council. She always brought an air of know how to any situation. Her big words, facts, and figures always made arguments sound legitimate. Her explanation of the Prothean device was thousands of times better than anything he could've done. The Council was also hanging on every word she said.
Then he was thrown back into the spotlight," Shepard, after everything you've been through with the Reapers, do you really believe this device will work?" Spartacus, the Turian councilor asked.
Shepard looked into Liara's eyes for a moment, and could feel her conviction that it would work. "Liara believes this device will win us the war...and so do I," Shepard tried to forcefully say his words. He didn't know about the device's capabilities, but he trusted Liara. "Unity is the only way we make this device, and stop the greatest threat the world has ever known," Shepard sounded genuine, because he was. The asari councilor, Tevos, looked towards the salarian. When the salarian shook her head, an anger so intense burned in his soul. He knew Liara felt his emotions, because she looked at him worriedly for a moment.
"I'm sorry Shepard, but we cannot send any military help to Earth. We have our own people to think about," Colt's fury rose with every word. He only felt a little better when the salarian councilor invited him to a war meeting, the promise of aid following if salarian safety was ensured. Tevos promised no support. To make things better, Udina made him come to his office after the meeting. He wanted to see Ashley, and talk to Liara, but Udina was a dream killer of the first class.
When Shepard went to Udina's office, he and Udina enjoyed a bitching session regarding the Council. However, it was embarrassing when Spartacus walked in, and heard their childish rants. He offered a way to gain Turian support. It was a start. He was also reinstated as a Spectre, making Shepard swell with pride if only for a little while. Next stop was Palaven.
...
Shepard was angry. He thought he had gotten over his previous anger, but it had come back full force. He felt that the meeting with the Council was close to useless, and he had no idea about Ashley's condition. Shepard didn't consider himself an angry person, but that was the strongest emotion he had felt lately. His anger was directed at everyone.
He was angry with Liara for not visiting him in jail. He was angry with his mom for not telling him she was okay. He was angry with the Council for letting the Reaper invasion even happen, considering he had given them years to find a solution. He was angry with Ashley because she had gotten hurt. Shepard was angry that the Alex kid had gotten himself killed. He was angry at the Reapers because they were killing an unthinkable number of people every moment. The person he was most angry at, though, was himself.
Colt hadn't pushed hard enough for action from the Council. He wasn't even able to be a good enough person that enough people cared to visit him in jail. He was angry that he hadn't had enough time to personally locate his mom. He was angry at himself, because he should've saved Ashley and Alex's doppelganger. Colt was angry with himself, because he was sitting here buying a poetry book, while lives were being obliterated by the Reapers. He had enough skills that he should've been able to fix every problem on his list.
This anger was only intensified when he visited Ashley in Heurta Memorial. She was badly hurt, and he could've so easily saved her. She would be fine; at least that's what three different doctors had said. Shepard was angry because he had wished that Ashley had died instead of Kaiden, and his wish had almost come true. There was something wrong with a person who wished for that, and the universe had set out to teach him a lesson. He was just plain angry at everything.
The world seemed to take it upon itself to make his life as shitty as possible. Even thinking that made Colt angry. He had absolutely no right to roll in self pity, and yet here he was feeling sorry for himself. Meeting, and inviting Doctor Chakwas back to the Normandy, helped his mood for about two seconds. The good doctor was always a morale booster; he was glad that at least she was safe.
After inviting back Doctor Chakwas, he had bought as many presents as possible for Ashley, hoping that somehow karma would smile upon this gesture and let him be. The momentary gain in happiness from Chakwas quickly left his soul. Even thinking about his birthday the next day did nothing to improve Colt's angry mood.