Author's Note: This chapter came so slowly, because sometimes it's good idea to leave people in suspense. Hate me if you must.
Chapter Forty Seven: A Game of Lies
Colt was now completely awake, the sleep shocked out of him. "So, what are our options?"
"To permanently fix this, you would need surgery. I would recommend this. Unfortunately, the recovery would be at least six months," Chakwas explained, still not quite looking at him.
"You know I can't do that doc. There won't be anything left to save in that amount of time," Colt was still in shock. The fact that he was dying hadn't registered.
"I know, but I had to give you that option. Just in case. The only thing else we can do, besides surgery, is to try and slow the separation of your organic and cybernetic tissue. I can do that with pills and shots," he groaned when she said the word 'shots.' "That won't fix anything permanently, but you won't go downhill so fast. I'm going to try and find another solution to this. Some sort of miracle cure. Of course I'm going to have to tell Admiral Hackett; we need more funding for your treatments," Chakwas explained.
"Absolutely not. No one can know about this, especially members of the Alliance High Command. I would be taken out of command of the Normandy, and the whole galaxy would be screwed. No one, not even Liara, can know. I'll know, and you'll know, that's it," Shepard was tense with the thought of someone finding out.
"Fine, but we do need creds. This isn't going to be cheap. You need to see specialists; I can't do this alone," Chakwas had recovered, and was now looking Colt square in the eye.
"They'll just talk to the media and then this will turn into a real shitstorm," Colt replied; he rubbed the top of his head.
"Don't worry; I'll only contact doctors I know well. They will not under any circumstances tell anyone. I'm sure of it. As of right now, we're heading for the Citadel. There, I can analyze everything better. That one test I did with all those sensors while you were on the treadmill will help out a lot. At Heurta Memorial, I can get the proper medicines, but you need to get more creds from the Alliance," Chakwas turned towards her desk and started tapping at a datapad.
"I'm not stealing from the Alliance, especially during wartime. We can use my creds; I've amassed quite a bit," Shepard grabbed a pad of paper and started writing down all of his banking information. "Here, take what you need. Don't let anyone get a hold of this though."
"Shepard, are you sure?" Chakwas looked up, a shocked expression on her face.
"I trust you Karin. Besides, we can't spare any expense fighting the Reapers," Colt stood to leave, a faint pain still in his stomach.
"Colt...we'll get through this together," Chakwas lightly touched his arm, and gave him a warm smile. Colt still didn't know if his real mom was okay, but Chakwas was okay, so not everything was bad.
Shepard put on his Commander facade and walked out into the Mess Hall. He must not give any indication that something was wrong. His entire ground crew was there, along with some other members who weren't vital at the moment. Liara herself stood by the door. Her hand was massaging her temple, before looking up at Shepard. Recognition crossed her face, and she pulled him into a hug. It only lasted a few seconds, as Shepard hated putting his feelings on show.
Everyone stood up, and greeted Shepard. They asked him so many questions that he couldn't understand a single one. "I'm fine, guys. Some of my cybernetics didn't take a liking to me getting so angry, but I'm fixed. Just had to have a couple shots and we're on our way," Shepard hoped his lies sounded convincing. Recently, he had become troublingly good at lying, but wasn't so sure with his crew. He noticed Liara looking at him suspiciously, and he knew the link they shared would be a problem. It was hard to lie to someone who was in your mind. So he decided to change the subject before anyone got wise.
"Please tell me we have cheesecake. I have been it craving for hours now. Also, can anyone explain to me why it's called cheesecake, when it's clearly a pie. It should be called cheese pie," Shepard walked over to the refrigerator, and started going through stuff. He found a large piece, and dug in. Several crew members started debating the cheesecake. Shepard smiled when he saw how distracted everyone was. No one would remember his med bay visit, or the lies he told. No one would find out about his on coming death.
...
Shepard waited patiently for Liara to return. She was preparing some food for the two of them to share in her room. Rosebud was with Traynor for the afternoon, as the two quite liked each others company now. Colt was having a hell of a time keeping up the lie that everything was just peachy in him. It was hard enough not telling anyone when death was breathing down your neck, without one of them actually being able to feel your emotions. He planned on telling Liara about his cybernetic problem during their meal.
He was starting to feel a little antsy, so he started walking around the room. A little data pad was sitting away from everything else, so Shepard decided to investigate. He assumed it was information on an important location to Liara. Maybe he could save the place, and make Liara like him even more. Instead he stumbled upon an audio recording, one that was worse than just about anything Shepard could've found.
"Doctor Liara T'Soni- 9 Months since Commander Shepard's-," there was a pause. "This is my fourteenth audio log since... There is an obvious shift in demeanor from those around me. Before people would bring me meals and Doctor Chakwas stayed with me so I wouldn't be alone. When I was around people would whisper quietly, confirming amongst themselves that I was indeed the person who had lost the most with Shepard. They would say their condolences, and tell me how the galaxy had lost one of its wonders. Like I wasn't aware already."
"Now they've stopped with the meals, and Doctor Chakwas has left. Everyone believes that I'm over it, but it's still as raw as it was nine months ago. I've moved passed my suicide attempt." Shepard couldn't believe what she was saying. "But some days are worse than others. The quiet whisperings around me have stopped, and changed to normal conversation. They use to whisper things like 'Poor thing, I can't imagine what she's been through,' but now it's, 'She's young enough to find someone else.' "
"The problem is that I'm still in love with Commander Shepard. I don't want to find someone else, not yet. Maybe I'll go looking for someone else in the future. Probably not...Liara out," Shepard backed up onto the bed, and sat down heavily. He couldn't keep himself standing after that. Liara had tried to commit suicide? Shepard had caused that. Caused all those painful memories. Now he was about to do all of that again.
Shepard was going to die. One way or another he was going to do it before Liara even got middle aged. He could not, he would not, cause her so much pain again.
The subject of Shepard's distress walked into her room. Carrying the food they had agreed to share. She had a happy smile on her face, and approached him with stuff. The connection between the two told him that she was glad to have a break, especially with her favorite person. Shepard hated himself for what he was about to do. He should've never gotten involved with someone as pure as Liara.
"Colt I don't know if it's possible, but I think you're getting more handsome by the day," Liara sat beside him, and covered his hand with hers. When Shepard looked into her eyes, he found an emotion that made him feel even worse. "So I was thinking we should do something like this everyday. Just the two of us... Are you okay?" Colt cursed the link they had. He had tried to hide his turmoil from her, but he simply couldn't.
"Liara... I have something to tell you," Colt lost the words to tell her about his condition. So he switched to something else. "I think we need to take a break," he refused eye contact. This was better idea than telling her about his devastating medical condition. He could protect her way more this way. She wouldn't have to deal with the pain of losing him.
"What are you talking about Shepard?" Liara demanded, the use of his last name was a subtle change from a comfortable atmosphere, to one more tense.
"I'm breaking up with you," he said. Shepard knew he had to be brutal. She would still be attached to him otherwise. "I just don't like you that way anymore. My time in jail made me realize this. You'll find someone else that fits you more. Find someone that wants what you want. It's probably best for both of us if we pretend like this didn't happen. I'll bring the stuff you left in my room down. I hope we can still be friends," Shepard remembered someone telling him that asking to still be friends during a break up was probably the worst thing you could do. He had ended a four year relationship with just a few words. All in all, though, he would rather ruin Liara's day, than the rest of her nine hundred years.
Shepard left a very shell shocked looking asari on her bed, and went for the door. He would spend the rest of his trip to the Citadel sitting in the Commander cave, thinking about the magnitude of what he had done. Halfway to the elevator, he saw Tali going into Liara's room. He was glad someone would be there for his ex.