Chapter Seventy-Nine: Madness Takes a Holiday
"Isn't that Urdnot Darius?" Vega piped up. Shepard walked over to the younger man and watched as he pointed to a Krogan who stood beside a Tomkah. The Krogan's image was crystal clear in Liara's paused video.
"I don't know who that is," Shepard said, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice. He had better things to do than identify unimportant people.
"He walked into some sort of Krogan rite about a week ago and killed a few people before he was shot," James explained. Now Colt was interested.
"Was he indoctrinated?"
"That's what they say. I mean, I don't think you could do that to your own people without something seriously being wrong with you."
"A week ago, you say?" Shepard asked.
"Maybe two, but yeah, about that time," Vega responded.
"That's what? Only a couple weeks between the Tuchanka mission and his massacre, right?" Colt said thoughtfully.
"That is correct," EDI interjected.
Maybe the Reaper artifact wasn't an artifact, maybe it was a person.
"He must have been severely indoctrinated on Tuchanka, then," Colt thought out loud, "His mind must have been decaying rapidly at that point. EDI, download all pertinent research of indoctrination, please. Perhaps include some studies on causes of indoctrination or second-hand indoctrination."
"Right away, Shepard," the AI answered smoothly.
"What did I miss? What did I miss?" Colt paced around in a circle. The sights from the mess hall swirled together as he shuffled past them. There was something here. It was unclear and murky, but there was something to be discovered. Ideas were starting to bud in his mind so quickly he could barely keep up with them.
He was close to Urdnot Darius, proximity wise. They both rode in the same Tomkah several times. Was it possible that being close to the Krogan had warped Colt's perception of reality?
"What's wrong?" Liara asked. She actually had the audacity to ask him that question. Like she knew what he was going through. Like she knew what indoctrination felt like. Like she actually cared. No one on the Normandy gave two shits about what was happening. They just wanted him to save their loved ones. They could care less about the details. They could care less about him.
He could taste the rage bubbling up in his throat.
"The fucking door, Liara," he growled. Colt wanted her to back up. He wanted her to apologize. He wanted to see her eyes gleam with terror.
The Normandy's crew shifted backwards when he prowled towards them. They didn't hold their ground. They retreated with frightened looks and panicked movements. He liked that.
Liara stayed. She actually stood there, half-way leaning on a table. This only served to enrage Shepard further. "The door leading into the command center?" She asked with a crystal clear calm.
Fuck her.
Shepard wheeled around and grabbed the nearest chair. He yanked as hard as he could at it. It came up easily into his arms, completely ripped away from the metal flooring. Colt turned and launched the chair at the cupboards and cooking supplies that occupied the Mess Hall. It flew threw the air and collided with two cabinets in a thunderous show. It then slid down, bowling over multiple sets of cooking supplies. All sorts of stainless steel cutlery scattered across the floor.
He turned quickly on his right foot, aligning his body perfectly with the mess's screens. A flat line of biotics, eight feet in length escaped easily from his fingertips and struck all three mess screens. The screens ripped from the ceiling in a shower of sparks. They were sent flying back twenty feet until they hit the door leading into the gun battery. The ceiling was constantly buzzing with electricity, occasionally throwing off a few sparks.
He watched the chaos with hungry eyes. Colt hadn't actually done anything so physically violent in what seemed like years. Seeing such destruction being caused by his own hand felt delicious. Freeing even. At the very least, he felt like he had some semblance of control.
Colt watched his handiwork spark and fizzle for a minute more before bringing his full attention to the asari. The anger was still gnawing and clawing at the insides of his skull, but he was able to push it back enough to focus in on Liara. "Wait...You saw it too?" Shepard growled at the asari.
If she had seen it as well, then he wasn't going crazy. Probably.
"Indeed. It was very odd, especially for the turians. It didn't match their usual taste in art. But what does that have to do with anything?" She asked, her eyebrows knit together with genuine confusion. Her voice was calming and careful. It was irritating, patronizing even.
Shepard whipped around towards the audience that had formed to his left. They were tightly packed and trembling. "Did anyone else see the door?" He demanded from the assembled group.
"I did," Garrus said. His voice also took on a careful tone.
"As did I," Javik announced. One by one, everyone who had been with him stated that they had seen the drug door. Every single one.
"How? It wasn't there," Shepard murmured, "It doesn't even exist."
"What?" Garrus asked.
"It wasn't there," Shepard said coldly, "It was never there. There are zero doors like that in the entire galaxy."
"Perhaps the stress of the mission caused you to see things that weren't there?" Chakwas offered. She was standing away from the group, closer to the Med-Bay. She looked rather concerned. Let them worry away. Colt had more pressing matters than making sure everyone's feelings were intact.
"That's what I was thinking, but if we all saw it...Something is up," Colt shook his head, "EDI, how's that research coming?"
"I have downloaded it to a datapad in your cabin," she said.
"Thanks. Please hail Admiral Hackett on the QEC," Shepard told the AI while he moved towards the elevator. The crew parted for him without a word. Silence followed him onto the elevator. Thank God.
…
"What the fuck was that!?" Garrus exclaimed the moment the elevator's doors shut.
The crew's collateral terror slowly rescinded from their eyes when it became apparent that Colt wasn't coming back.
Liara shook her head and put her hand on her forehead. That wasn't Colt. The man she knew was gentle and kind. He was patient and hard to anger.
"Liara?" Chakwas questioned.
"I have no idea. I've never seen him like this."
"Garrus?" Chakwas turned to the turian.
"I don't know. He's never done anything like that before," he admitted.
"Do you have something to say, Ashley?" Chakwas asked. Liara turned towards Ash to see what Chakwas meant.
The younger woman looked around suspiciously before saying quietly, "Did you see his eyes?"
"No? What was wrong with them?" Chakwas asked.
"They weren't his usual green, they were like...I don't know," Ashley finished. She cast her eyes downward.
"Lieutenant Commander," Karin said sharply.
"They seemed foreign, alright?"
"Foreign?" Chakwas said.
"They didn't match him. They weren't his."
...
The ride proved to be one of the most agonizingly slow rides of his entire life. And that was saying a lot.
The annoyance he felt in the mess was only growing exponentially. It was the perfect storm of extremes. An extremely harrowing situation, combined with an extremely oblivious crew and an extremely long elevator ride set Colt's teeth on edge. He'd have to get himself in check before he spoke to Hackett.
The elevator opened to reveal a very empty CIC. They must've been in the Mess. For once, Shepard wasn't bothered by the lack of personnel.
He turned the corner that lead into the security checkpoint. His two favorite privates stood in the cramped room/closet diligently. The pair saluted him cleanly before Private Westmoreland started to speak cheerfully, "Nice job, Commander. We heard about how you kicked some major ass on Palaven. We were gonna come down to congratulate you, but this post won't guard itself."
"Don't worry about it," Colt said. It came out a tad more menacing than he would've liked. Another extreme was making his blood pressure rise once again.
Biological scanners were the bane of his existence. They reeked of murky intentions and shady plots. His jaw twinged and his mouth went dry as soon as the blue scanner started to rotate around him. It was just one thing after another. How could anyone blame him for his agitation?
"Is there something wrong, Commander?"
"There's been a minor setback," he told them with a smile. His tone was pleasant and calm. After all, he was trying to rein himself in before Hackett.
The privates waved him through after the blue scanner stopped. Shepard practically charged out of the checkpoint to the War Room. He was just happy to escape.
"Well, I'm sure you'll be able to fix whatever happened, Commander," the Privates happily called after him.
"Thanks!"
The War Room was as empty as the CIC. Did everyone find it necessary to greet him in the Mess Hall? Didn't these people have things to do?
"Admiral Hackett is already on the line, Shepard," EDI said to him while he made his way around the holographic projector.
When the older man saw Colt enter the QEC, he smiled and said, "Commander Shepard, the man of the hour. You have done a great service to the entire galaxy today. The turians are sending their praises to the Alliance as we speak."
"Thank you, sir. I actually-"
"What you did today, Commander, that was a decisive victory. That's what we needed," the Admiral said confidently.
"I appreciate it, sir. However-"
"In fact, you've been doing an incredible job these past few months. Years even. Due to your stellar performance, I recommended you for promotion. You've been a Lieutenant Commander for awhile now, and it's time to change that, especially after today. The Admiralty Board has already unanimously approved your promotion to Commander. I'll give you a date for the ceremony once my people figure it out. This is a great opportunity for some publicity, so it takes a little longer to sort out times and such. You know how the press loves to latch onto anything even remotely having to do with you."
Colt was hearing him, but there was something wrong about receiving praise when all things were going to hell. "Thank you, Admiral. I appreciate your nomination. I'm also looking forward to the ceremony," he said respectfully. He was reining things in beautifully.
"What's wrong, Commander?" Hackett asked...Maybe keeping it together wasn't going as well as Colt thought.
"I saw something, sir. Something that wasn't there. It was this door. It was on the turian command center when I went in, but gone when I came back out. I asked a turian about it, but he had no idea what I was talking about," Shepard explained.
"Is it indoctrination?" The Admiral asked with the perfect amount of concern and sternness.
"I thought it was, Admiral. But everyone that I brought with me saw it as well. It seems unlikely that a whole group like that is indoctrinated. It's not the Reaper's style. They like to indoctrinate a few people for infiltration, not an entire group. And it gets stranger. I started to review old footage from Tuchanka's November mission, and it happened again. I thought I used biotics to bring a fighter down, but in reality a Krogan used a shoulder-mounted weapon. Lieutenant Vega pointed out that a nearby Krogan on the same mission was a one Urdnot Darius. Apparently, he walked into some rite about a week ago and killed a few people. He was believed to be indoctrinated."
"Hmmm, what are you thinking, Shepard?" Hackett said.
"I honestly don't know, sir. I think there may be some sort of indoctrination side-effect at play here. I suspect that being around an indoctrinated person can cause some strange things to happen. It doesn't seem to be full-blown indoctrination...I'm just not entirely sure about the whole thing."
"That's troubling, to say the least.. I'll have my best people look into it. Anything else?"
"I think you should cancel the ceremony tonight, sir," Colt told him.
"Why?"
"If I thought I saw a door that wasn't there, and my hypothesis about proximity indoctrination is correct, that means that someone either on the transport vessel or in the command center is indoctrinated, sir. That ceremony is the perfect killing ground for an indoctrinated person. It'll have everybody that's anybody there."
"I certainly see the problem, Shepard. Hmmm," the Admiral sighed, "I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll ask the turians to postpone the ceremony for a few days so we can investigate. I'm sure they won't be happy, but they'll agree. Sound good?"
"Yes, sir. Do you want me to investigate?"
"No, Commander. You deserve a few days rest. Enjoy the holidays. Hackett out."
What now? Shepard couldn't let this go. This involved his sanity, his mind. He couldn't relax. He couldn't afford to relax. The galaxy couldn't afford to have him relax.
Just because he thought it was proximity indoctrination, didn't mean it wasn't full-blown indoctrination. He could be deteriorating rapidly. Tomorrow, he could wake up and suddenly feel the urge to strangle Liara. There were approximately five hundred trillion ways that something horrible could happen.
"Commander, you have an incoming call from Admiral Shepard," EDI's voice made Colt jump a little. Another extreme was being added to list.
"Alright, put her through," he told the AI. The QEC made a few whirring noises before his mother appeared completely. "Hi mom," he greeted.
"Hi," his mother smiled back enthusiastically.
The most awkward of all silences stretched between the two Shepards. His mom had a shiteating grin on her face, but said nothing. Colt cleared his throat before asking, "Is there something you wanted to discuss?"
"First off, Congratulations on your promotion! It's about damn time that you're Commander. I mean for God's sake, Ashley is the same rank as you are. She's like fifteen years younger than you. That's just...no ," Hannah shook her head. The prickling sensation of anger was starting to make its way up his back. Even on a perfectly average day, Colt would've found his mother irritating.
"She's four years younger, mother," he said through his teeth.
"Whatever. It's the same principle. You practically made her career. There's a reason she's humanity's second Spectre," she droned on. She'd apparently either chosen to ignore his aggravation or had completely missed it. That was probably for the best.
Colt wasn't in the mood to argue. Actually, he was in the mood to argue, but wasn't in the mood be disowned by his mother. "Yes, mom."
"Anyways, Hackett just told me that we've postponed the ceremony for a few days, so I was thinking that I could come visit you. Today. On the Normandy," she said. Her shiteating grin never once left her face.
Holy shit. "Of course, once we drop all of these supplies off, we'll rendezvous with your ship," Colt said. The words just came out. He almost threw them up. He had no control over himself. His mouth was running without his express consent.
"Well actually, I'm going to be on Palaven's surface around the same time you are, so I'll just board the Normandy then," she replied cheerfully.
"Sounds good to me. That'll be in like three hours or so," he responded pleasantly.
"Great! See you then!" She said.
"See you then," he choked out.
"Shepard out," his mom said before her form faded away.
Was this worse than hallucinating a door? Absafuckinglutely. What was he thinking? What sort of godless creature had convinced him that letting his mother aboard was a good idea? Now he knew he was crazy. The door thing could've been a stress-induced thing, but letting his mom come aboard was fucking insane. He was an actual human crazy person.
What had he done? There was a list of bad ideas that Colt had written out for himself just in case he needed a reminder to stay away from temptation. At the top of his list was interacting with his mom on a personal level. It was a Grade A shitty idea. Giving Grunt his juicy in a non-Shark cup was lower on the terrible idea list.
He could survive his mom. It was just for a few hours. Colt would nod occasionally and tune her out. Lots and lots of Ryncol would see him through the storm. It would be fine. He'd be okay.
Who was he kidding? There was no way he could handle his mother. He couldn't handle his mother even if he had perfect mental health. She was one of the very few people who could leave him trembling after a talk. Every conversation since his revival had left him feeling sick.
Except he had agreed to let her come aboard. What was he gonna' do? Call her back and tell her to fuck off? Maybe now would be a good time to invest in a clone. Perhaps the clone would say the things that his mom wanted to hear.
Thane was a pro at these sorts of things. The man just knew how to approach a difficult situation with a level head. He'd tell Shepard exactly what he needed to hear. Colt just needed to head to the Drell's hideout and...Thane was gone. He'd been gone for a couple months now.
Anderson would know what to do...Except they weren't speaking.
Liara would get him through it. Yes. The asari would be able to drag Colt through the fields of motherly disappointment. She would be there. He didn't have to take the hours of border-line verbal abuse alone.
This was going to be bad. He was going to be utterly destroyed for a few days. Only a Shepard could damage a Shepard so thoroughly.
Why did he always find himself in these situations where it was impossible for him to win? There wasn't a way to actually enjoy his mother's company. There was only survival. If he was ever going to get through the ordeal, he'd just have to let it go. What was done was done. His mother was coming aboard and that was that. He couldn't change that. But he could change other things. He could piece the door puzzle together. Colt had to know if he was...corrupted or not. There was no way he was gonna sit on his ass and wait for Hackett to get back to him.
Shepard turned from the QEC and headed back through the War Room. He made his way through the security checkpoint before getting back onto the elevator. The damn thing traveled at the speed of smell until it arrived at his cabin.
In the elevator's silence, Shepard could feel his anger winding down. Jitters started to fill the emptiness that the rage left behind. It vaguely felt like coming down off a high.
Colt stepped lightly between the elevator and his cabin's entrance. His body was so torqued up with tension that everything seemed to be dangerous. Any misplaced shadow could be a potential enemy.
The Commander Cave was cold. Which was weird considering that Shepard demanded it be kept at a certain temperature. He checked the thermostat located behind Boo's cage for any changes. It was exactly twenty one degrees celsius, his optimal running temperature. Just a feeling then.
It was always dim inside, but now it just seemed downright dreary. The fish tank threw off its usual blue light, which only accentuated the long shadows. His monitors and datapads cast their own hue of orange into the depressing fray. Their glow managed to frame his prized ship collection in a haunting light.
He wandered farther into the cave with a deep suspicion. There was a lingering feeling of danger. From what he really didn't know.
Shepard checked all the nooks and crannies of his cabin. He didn't know what he was looking for, but he checked anyways. Nothing. When the search was done, he let himself unwind a bit. He was still perfectly coiled, ready to strike, but the feeling was at least diminishing.
"I've downloaded pertinent research to your personal datapad, Commander. I hope it helps," EDI said. The AI's voice helped calm him down further. After another quick sweep with his eyes, Shepard sat at his desk.
"Thanks," he replied. He was very interested in not being indoctrinated. In fact, Colt was entirely invested in the idea. So naturally he searched for cases of temporary indoctrination on the datapad. He was not disappointed.
The first source came from a recently destroyed Alliance lab. The voice on the recording was female and calm, "Several people have reported indoctrination-like symptoms, but have failed to pass testing for the neurological disorder. The subjects were re-released back into the public under supervision. These individuals never showed signs or symptoms of indoctrination again."
"Hmmm," Colt rumbled. The gears were starting to grind in his head. The next source happened to be an asari disease control center. A female voice said smoothly, "Patients eight-three-three and nine-two-one were let out of quarantine after failing to show indoctrination signs or symptoms after one week. The patients never showed symptoms again. The patients' only known contact with indoctrination involved a three-hour long house party."
The next was a written compilation of several police reports in a large salarian city. "EDI, can you please read this aloud? I process auditory reports the best."
"Certainly, Commander."
The AI read through the report smoothly, permanently encasing it in Colt's mind. The subjects seemed to have gone through a classic indoctrination episode. Three sentences stuck with him, however. The first two were, "The subjects experienced violent episodes of indoctrination for three days. After three days, the subjects ceased to show signs or symptoms of indoctrination." The third was the most damning. It stated, "The subjects did not come into contact with any known causes of indoctrination."
Report after report showed the same patterns. The patients had usually experienced indoctrination signs and symptoms for a relatively short period of time before returning to a normal mental status. They also had minimal contact with indoctrination. Most had come into contact with severely indoctrinated people for less than a day.
"EDI, please contact Hackett. Tell him it isn't critical, but I need to speak with him today," Colt said. He leaned back into his chair triumphantly. He felt better. It felt like things were firmly under his control again, which was how it was supposed to be.
"Yes, Shepard," the AI agreed.
It really was proximity indoctrination. Thank God. Relief like Shepard had never experienced before started to fill him. To say the feeling was absolutely invigorating was an understatement.
He just wasn't showing any signs of indoctrination. None. And he was being honest with himself. Colt would've shot himself had he noticed any signs or symptoms, but there wasn't any to notice.
True blue indoctrination gave the victim an objective, but left them with enough free will to carry out the objective with their personality and skills intact. Actual indoctrination was an instinct, it was a need that triumphed over all other needs. People needed to blow up embassies. They needed to blow up space stations. It became an obsession. If the indoctrination was done right, all the Reapers had to do was plant the objective. The victim would use their skills and influence to carry it out. Shepard only felt hunger at this particular moment. He didn't feel like blowing anything up, which was always a bonus.
Not indoctrination. Just a reality warp that occurred around an indoctrinated individual. The question was now: Who was indoctrinated in the command center?