Author's Note: I'm not the first to suggest this, but I think that an interesting spin-off game for BioWare would be the Reaper War from the perspective of an N7 team or another special operations team. In fact, it would be awesome to have a game that could played as an alien. It could be brand new in terms of missions, yet still retain a familiar overarching storyline. Commander Shepard and friends would be in the background and the ending could finally be put to rest. I still love Andromeda, but I wouldn't mind going back to the Milky Way and see some of Shepard again.

Speaking of Andromeda, let's hope we get a Quarian DLC. Fingers crossed.

Also, chapters thirty and thirty one have been edited.

Chapter Eighty Eight: Metamorphosis

Colt slid down the wall into a disorganized heap. His heart was slamming itself against his throat and his chest heaved in greedy breaths. A headache was setting in and reality was imploding. How he made it this far was beyond his comprehension. The minute he made eye contact with his father, things had gone downhill incredibly quickly.

Buildings turned into thick forests and people into shadows. Reality flickered between scenes from the Citadel and scenes from his nightmares. The transition between the two worlds was often seamless. There was a flash and the world was plunged into new scenery altogether. Occasionally, things would melt into a new shape. It was mostly people who liquefied before his very eyes only to turn into amorphous shadows.

An explosion, probably a grenade, further disorganized his thought process. He peeked around the wall only to see even more Cerberus soldiers marching up the street. A blink turned them into oily shadows. Another blink turned them back.

Oh fuck. He was in no shape to walk, let alone fight off indoctrinated knock-offs of himself. But he wasn't about to watch Cerberus terrorize the Citadel. Again.

Only by the grace of God did he pull himself into a standing position. He flattened himself against the wall and sidestepped carefully to the building's edge. If he waited till he was ready, he'd be standing there forever.

He stumbled out of the alley and careened into a parked hover car. His palms smacked against the car's side and prevented him from completely collapsing into the machine. He leaned his forehead against the cool metal and tried to regain control. "Come on," he whispered. Confusion was clouding his brain to the point where standing against the hover car for the rest of eternity seemed like a viable action. "Come on," he said again. He had to cut through these illusions and return to the land of the living. But that was easier said than done.

External motivation in the form of a bullet drew him from his daze and prompted him into action. There was no kick in the ass quite like a bullet screeching past his face.

…

"Where the fuck is he?"

"Hell if I know. Maybe the cameras will catch up to him?"

"Can I see that?" Liara said, grabbing the remote from Garrus. She started flipping through channels in a last ditch effort to find him. Maybe some camera crew had followed Colt. Hopefully...

"EDI, did you try again?"

"I'm sorry, Liara, but he's just not picking up."

She tensed her jaw and started to flick through channels faster.

"Wait!" Joker yelled. "Go back. Okay-Rigggt there!" He said, pointing from his seated position.

"-As you can see, the Cerberus assault has not ended at Alliance Headquarters," the reporter said. The camera zoomed into a lone figure who was utterly decimating a few squads of Cerberus troopers. "It seems that back-up soldiers have arrived to replace and bolster the Cerberus presence seen at Alliance HQ."

"Do you think that's-," Garrus started.

"-Commander Shepard seems to have caught up with some of the replacements and is making easy work of them," the reporter said. Once again, the camera zoomed into the action. Quick, yet powerful biotic hits were leveling the squadrons.

"Why do I even ask?" Garrus muttered.

The crew went silent as they watched Shepard tear through his opponents like tissue paper. The ease in which he was killing was breathtaking. For someone who claimed he couldn't dance, his movements in battle were surprisingly agile.

Even without his usual weaponry, he was making quick work of the soldiers using only biotics. Samara had done an incredible job at helping to refine his biotic abilities. Cerberus may have given him raw biotic power, but Samara had been the one to make him truly deadly. Liara had helped somewhat, but nowhere near the same level as the Matriarch. This was obvious as she watched him move. Samara had a more traditional style that emphasized quick hits over steady power. However, Liara could still see her own influence in more than one attack.

"I am equally frightened and turned on," Joker said. The terror that was starting to freeze the Mess loosened just a little. Liara even found herself smiling a bit.

"Welcome to everyday of my life," Liara said. She drew some surprised glances and a deep laugh from Garrus. And most astonishingly of all, she barely blushed.

…

During most fights, he was able to flow. Training kicked in and he fell into an easy rhythm. Every part of his body was in the zone. Every biotic attack rolled of his fingertips with pleasant ease. Not this time. This time, he was choppy. His training still helped, but he had to make a conscious effort to think about what to do next.

Luckily, the Cerberus troops were a sad match for his skills. They were obviously just run-of-the-mill soldiers. Unlike Kai Leng, they lacked any special ops training and it showed. An enemy even slightly more advanced might've been able to topple Colt. Thank God he'd run into these guys and not something more skilled.

Despite being poorly planned and executed, his biotic hits managed to crumple several Cerberus troops at a time. At this rate, the fight would be over faster than it started.

He fed a singularity until it was engorged with dark energy. It shredded the two trapped Cerberus soldiers in a rather bloody but quick manner. He squeezed his hand tighter in an effort to deliver the killing blow. But before he could finish them off, his hand cramped, causing him to release the mostly dead soldiers. He tried to regenerate his biotic flow through his hand once more, but came up short. Without a weapon, he was an easy target.

Colt ducked behind another hover car and concentrated on increasing his biotic energy. The energy spun around him with increasing speed, but failed to form around either of his hands. The eezo nodules weren't even glowing in his hands. It was like a complete disconnect.

...

The mood in the Mess Hall was leveling out nicely. It was apparent that Shepard could not only handle the threat but also demolish it with only a mild strain on his part. Although Liara could feel a tinge of discomfort and lack of concentration from Colt, she found herself unwinding as well, though the unusual sense of confusion coming from him was a bit disconcerting.

The fight was going well and coming to its well-deserved end. But something still felt wrong. There was something about him that just seemed off.

"I'll be right back," Liara said. She stood up quickly and walked to her room. Once inside, she was able to access her network easily. She pulled up the file of one of her most trusted agents located on the Citadel. A few taps on her console and the agent appeared on one of her one way screens.

"I have a task for you," she said. "Commander Shepard is engaging with Cerberus troops and I want you to intervene if necessary. I have already uploaded the coordinates. The fight is currently being televised, so I'd recommend unmarked armor. Once the fight is over, I'd like you to follow the Commander and call emergency services if necessary."

"Call emergency services? Is he hurt?"

"It is possible," she replied, "Now please, go. The fight is already winding down."

"Understood."

She flipped off the comm channel and leaned backwards into her chair. Why was he always the epicenter of mayhem and violence? For once it would be nice if he could just stay out of harm's way. Saving him was getting increasingly more difficult and worrisome. She sighed before standing and going back out to the Mess Hall.

"Bathroom?" Joker asked.

She nodded before taking up her usual spot. "How's it going?" She asked.

"Only thing you missed was a few minutes of Shepard kicking ass," Garrus said, "So the usual, I guess."

Hopefully this was the end of the Cerberus encounter. The Citadel would be hard pressed to survive another full-fledged invasion. While only a few people were killed during the first Cerberus attack, the sense of safety and impenetrability of the Citadel had almost completely disappeared. The Citadel still wasn't quite in the war like the rest of the galaxy, but Cerberus had certainly brought the conflict closer.

She refocused into the screen and found that he was huddled behind a hover car. He stayed there only briefly before stepping away. He was surrounded by an impressive ball of biotic energy. He stood still for a second before launching into a spin that had him horizontal to the ground. This move was atypical and only used if the hands were damaged. Before she could further analyze his choice of moves, she noticed a slight waver in the balance of his motion. It started off as a slight quiver and ended with a complete breakdown of technique. He was mid spin before suddenly falling to the ground. There was no attempt to stand again. In fact, as far as Liara could tell, there was no movement.

"Wait, what?"

"Did he just get shot?" James asked.

"No...I think he fell?"

…

"So much space. Walls of stone. It's amazing," the faint whisper seemed to curl around him, "I wish my friends could see it. I wish Shepard were here."

A much louder whisper, to the point of being almost mocking, continued, "I am a ruined vessel of sorrow and regret, but I am free."

He felt a presence standing just above him. The faint crunch of dirt confirmed the existence of someone else. "Some souls die in battle, some die in their sleep, and some die for no reason at all."

He knew the voice and he knew the quote. Against his better judgment, Colt lifted his face from the dirt. He fully expected to see the polished boots of his father. Instead, he found a barely visible shadow crossing just in front of him.

Shepard blinked and the whole forest turned back to the Citadel. The scene was a muted gray and shimmered like the shadow people. It was there, but the threat of disappearing entirely was ever present.

What sounded like distant gunshots did nothing to affect him. He felt just fine laying on the ground. Not content, but calm.

…

"He's just laying there?!" Garrus said. The turian was pacing beside while wringing his talons together. "What the hell?"

"Are you sure he wasn't shot?" Ashley asked

"Do you see any blood?"

"I guess not. So what's happened then?"

There were still quite a few Cerberus soldiers left despite Shepard taking a sizable chunk out of their numbers. An unconscious Colt would make for a laughably easy target and they were closing in fast to his location. Any minute now her agent would show up to save him. Anything less and...

The Cerberus troops marched closer and closer, sending a wave of trepidation over Liara with every step they took. He either had to get up or the agent had to come. There were no other options. She leaned forward in her seat and watched them get within ten feet of him. Should she call someone else? Should she get Hackett on the line? Surely there was someone who could save him. Someone who wasn't light years away.

Just as she was about to go to her room, another figure ran out in front of the Cerberus troops. The armor was obviously human and probably male.

This person started where Colt left off and began to dig into the Cerberus troopers. Devastating biotic attacks combined with equally impressive weaponry finished the remanding soldiers off. Their combat style was quick and effective, and eerily similar to Colt's.

After downing the last soldier, he re-holstered his weapons and walked over to Shepard. In one swift movement, he heaved him over his shoulder. He readjusted Shepard on his shoulder and started jogging away. The pair was quickly out of sight of the camera.

It could be her agent, but the combat proficiency he exhibited was far more advanced than what she remembered. "I'll be right back," she said before walking to her room. As soon as she was inside, she called her agent.

"Did you pick up Commander Shepard?"

"No, but I'm following the person who did. It's a human male judging by the helmet and armor. And they're no stranger to combat. I'm sending you my coordinates. I'm hoping to track them back to a residency or a hideout or something. I'll let you know once I get there."

…

Another blink brought him back to the same fucking forest. He was even in the same spot as before, lying on his belly and face in the ground. Once more he dared to look up. And once more he found the same scenery. He was greeted by the same breeze that carried questions he couldn't answer. The same trees that failed to shelter him. And the same shadows that asked too much without saying a word.

A quick flash of anger sparked and quickly lit a fire within. "Was it you?" Colt shouted. His desperate cry echoed through the forest like some sick mockery. Why did he expect an answer? He was in a fucking forest filled with ghosts that were solely generated by the power of his fucked-up mind.

He glanced to the left and came almost face to face with a dead bird. How the hell did he not notice the smell of rotting flesh earlier? He looked closer and realized that it was relatively fresh. Decomposing but recognizable. What was it that his Dad used to say? Once the birds-

"Once the birds start to die, that's when you know you have a serious problem," a familiar voice said, "That's a good lesson I learned from early colonization efforts." Rowan covered the distance between them quickly before sitting by Colt's shoulder. "And now you wanna know if I was really on the Citadel? If I was really in that crowd watching you kill Kai Leng?"

Colt scrambled to a sitting position that faced his father and nodded once he was semi-comfortable.

Rowan narrowed his eyes like he intended to smile. "You know it wasn't me. You know I'm gone for good," he paused to grab Colt's folded hands, "And I also know that you know that the Reapers were just fucking with you. The same way they're fucking with you right now."

Colt shot up like a bolt. His eyes were wide open and he heaved in a great breath. Light hit his eyes painfully, forcing them shut once more.

"Holy shit!" A voice exclaimed right next to him, causing him to flinch into a wall.

He opened his eyes and prepared himself for another battle. He turned his head, ready to strike. But as soon as he set eyes on his clone, his aggression immediately died off.

"You scared me," Colt said.

"You scared me."

"Sorry, I didn't-"

"-Seriously," the clone interrupted, "You scared me right here and you scared me when you just dropped in the middle of fighting those Cerberus troops," he took a shuddering breath, "And then your veins turned black and you started...oozing this nasty, thick liquid. What the hell is going on with you?"

"The Reapers. They're trying to do something. I'm not sure what, but...Jesus," he said, leaning into his hands. A killer headache was making thinking almost impossible.

"Liara called. I told her I...we...you would call her back," the clone said, "She seemed worried. You should call her."

Colt nodded and dialed her on his omni-tool. It rung for about five seconds before she picked up. "Colt? Goddess, is everything okay?"

"I'm okay. Are you alone?"

"Yes, I'm just in my room now."

"The Reapers are...well, I'm not really sure what, but they're doing something to me. I sort of flashed between-," he stopped. Searing pain was shooting through his head and blocking out the rest of the world.

"Are you okay? You look pale."

"The Reapers are trying to trick me. First it was my dad and then it was going between the real world and a dreamscape. You know the forest one?"

"The one with the shadows and Reaper light?" She asked.

"Yes, that one. I just kept rotating between the two. I don't know what their play is, but-" he stopped as another wave of pain went through his brain.

"I just, I just," he said. Exhaustion was dragging him down and preventing any further thoughts. "I just-." Colt felt himself falling backwards but was powerless to stop himself. Sleep was already invading by the time his head hit the pillow.

…

"Colt? Colt!?"

The picture from Shepard's end became blurry as someone moved around his omni-tool. "Hi, um, other Shepard here," Colt said after a moment, "He's out cold."

"...Colt?" She asked.

"Maybe. We're not really sure who's Colt and who's the clone at this point...so, ya. But, the other one is out cold. For what it's worth, he also went down in front of those Cerberus soldiers."

Liara closed her eyes and tried to focus on the link between her and Colt. It felt like he was just at the edge of her consciousness-there, but just barely. The dimness of the connection was pretty similar to what she felt when he slept. The feelings that passed easily between them disappeared almost entirely. Only the core connection between the two remained when he was asleep.

She opened her eyes and realized that the person talking was the clone. If this person was actually him, their connection would be much more complete.

"Okay, I'll be there soon," she said, "Just give me a couple hours."

…

"Are we gonna be okay?"

Colt looked down at Alex's big eyes and pulled him closer. "Ya, we'll be okay," Shepard said.

"But you don't have any shoes."

He pulled the blanket tighter around Alex and himself. "I'll be okay." Hopefully Alex couldn't tell he was lying.

"Hey," John said, holding out a pair of boots.

Colt shook his head. "I couldn't."

John continued to hold them out. "You've got a little one to take care of. Don't fuck him up by freezing to death."

Shepard reached out his hand for the boots and just as he touched them, the alleyway morphed into a bathroom. The change in scenery was instantaneous and lacked the bleeding of realities he'd experienced earlier.

Colt pulled his hand back and looked around. This was certainly different than freezing to death on the streets.

Whoever built this bathroom was really fucking focused on carved wood trimmings and perfectly straight tilling. But to be fair, anything more than a hole dug in an abandoned building was practically the Pope's personal bathroom.

He took his shirt off and examined his scarred up body in the mirror. Signs of malnutrition and starvation were somehow more startling to him than the the incredible amounts of bruising, cuts, and scars. Colt knew it was bad. He'd felt the pain of hunger and been driven to unspeakable acts from it. But seeing what starvation had actually done to him was something entirely different.

He stepped into the shower before he could think about it any longer.

"Hey, are you okay in there?" Anderson asked through the bathroom door.

Alex shrieked with joy from somewhere beyond Anderson. The seven year old hadn't sounded that happy in years.

Colt tipped his head up to allow the water to run over his face and uneven beard. He hadn't had a hot shower in a long, long time.

"Yes," he said with a laugh, "I'm okay."

"These moments make you," Anderson said. Shepard opened his eyes in surprise only to watch the shower curtain change into a tree and the faucet morph into an oily shadow.

Colt blinked and found that the environment had slipped entirely into the forest. This time around he was sitting on a bench instead of face down in the ground.

"Goddammit," Shepard growled. Living in his memories was painful, but predictable. The forest was a different beast, both painful and unpredictable.

"These moments make you. Not your Cerberus clone. And certainly not your Alliance clone."

Who the hell was speaking? He scanned the landscape but could only see the same old shadow people.

"Over here."

Colt looked to his right and saw the boy from Earth. The same one he'd failed to grab before he was killed on a shuttle. Seeing him sent an uncomfortable jolt of electricity through Shepard's body. His cheeks burned hot and he felt a lump develop in his throat.

"Your Alliance clone was pumped full of memories. They replicated everything important-Elysium, saving the Citadel, leaving foster care. And they filled in the blanks with fake memories," the boy said, "All those other days of living, the days that truly made you, they skipped over. And all it did was twist him." He clambered onto the bench and sat a tad closer than what Colt was comfortable with.

He shook his head. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

The boy blinked a few times before opening his mouth. But before he could say anything another voice rumbled, "He lies." Colt turned to find his father striding out of the trees. His eyes were set intently on the child.

"What?" Shepard said.

"He was about to change topics and say nothing else of the clone," Rowan said, "He knows something but won't say it."

Colt looked back to the child, who was regarding Rowan with ice cold eyes. After a moment he said, "Watch that Alliance clone. There is something...wrong with him."

Shepard glanced back to his father but he was nowhere to be seen. "Who are you?" He demanded.

The boy grinned at him before speaking, "Me?" He started to morph into a different person until Colt was looking at his own face. "I am you." The face changed again until his father was staring back. "I am everyone, and I am no one."

Holy shit. Why couldn't he just land at the forefront of some conventional war?

"You are weak," the boy said while hopping off the bench. His voice had quickly shifted into the deep mechanical voice characteristic of the Reapers. "You see a person for the show they put on, for their carefully crafted imitation, not for who they truly are."

He felt something slick run down the side of his head and down the length of his jaw. Colt wiped his face and brought his hand down to see. Dark red was smeared over his fingers. "I don't feel anything," Shepard said, looking up.

"You will."

White hot pain exploded through Shepard's head. He took in one last look over the forest before letting himself be consumed by agony.

…

Shepard blinked his eyes open and noticed the lack of pain before anything else. He'd been writhing in pain for what felt like hours in his dream world. Now, he didn't even feel so much as a single muscle ache.

"Colt?" This made him sit straight up. He looked around and realized he was still in his shitty little apartment. How long had he been here?

"Liara?" He blinked a few times before focusing on the asari. She was sitting on the edge of his mattress, leaning back on one of her hands. "I thought you were on the Normandy?"

Movement behind the asari caught his eye. Colt blinked a few more times and realized that the clone was seated behind her, just under the window. His legs were tucked into his chest and his arms encircled his knees. He glanced up, but went back to staring at the ground once he realized Colt was looking.

"I was. We landed to refuel and I caught a transport back to the Citadel."

"The whole Normandy didn't come?"

She shook her head before saying, "No. They were headed out on a mission. And you called, or the clone called, to let everyone you were okay. I told them I'd check up on you just in case. Ashley was gracious enough to let me come back."

"Ya, I bet she had so much choice in that decision."

Liara grinned but said nothing.

It really didn't matter how she'd gotten here. What mattered was that she was here. Between Cerberus and the Alliance's bullshit, he really needed someone.

"How'd you find my apartment?" He said after a moment.

"An agent followed you and sent the coordinates." Colt wasn't even surprised. Liara was a damn good Shadow Broker. Having them followed was like child's play to her. The only alarming thing about the whole situation was that the clone didn't realize he was being followed.

He wanted to ask more questions but found himself leaning in for a hug instead. She reciprocated the action by drawing him in tightly. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the sensation of being held. After hours of intense pain, he needed this.

Colt dug his face into her neck and inhaled her lavender scent. She stroked his hair for a bit before whispering, "I love you," in his ear.

He tried to say, "I love you, too," but it just came out as mumbles against her neck. Hopefully she got the gist.

A familiar prickle at the back of his mind caused him to open his eyes again. Was it Liara hanging at the edge of his consciousness? No, he could feel Liara's contentment. This was someone else, and they were angry.

He raised his head to look over her shoulder and found the clone staring intently at him with a set jaw. How much of Colt's personal life had the Alliance imprinted upon the clone?

She pulled back a bit to frame his face with her hands. She looked him over before leaning in for a kiss. The clone's gaze prompted Colt to end the kiss prematurely. While drawing back, she gave him a hurt look. He took both of her hands into his and nodded at the clone. A look of realization crossed her face. He was unclear if the look came from simply having someone else watch them or if she truly felt his uncertainty about the clone. Whatever. That was a conversation for another time.

"I'm just glad that you're okay," she said after a moment.

Between getting his brain stirred by the Reapers, finding one of his clones, and discovering he might be an AI, he was pretty goddamned far from okay. "Okay is a bit of a stretch."