Chapter summary: A noble and a soldier meet unusual company in an unusual land, under unusual circumstances.

Chapter Two: A Smile in the Dark

"Well, if this isn't a freak show, I don't know what is."

A short walk has led Snake and Roy to the entrance of a village, one that appears to be populated mostly by anthropomorphic animals. Staring at the numerous animal heads atop numerous humanoid bodies, Snake feels like he's stepped into a child's fantasy world, and for a brief moment wonders if he's been knocked in the head one too many times.

"I do agree it's strange," Roy says, "but they don't look unwelcoming. We should ask around."

So they walk down the bustling main street until they find themselves in what is presumably the central square. Stalls of all sorts line the area, selling food and clothes and miscellaneous trinkets. Even though Snake is a head and shoulders taller than most of the crowd, he finds himself getting a bit dizzy.

He looks to the side to find Roy no longer there.

For an insane moment he suspects the village's inhabitants are the culprits, before spotting Roy's fiery hair at one of the stalls.

Kid's taking this better than I am, that's for sure.

He weaves[1] through the crowd to join Roy, and listens in.

"Your wares are lovely, but I do not intend to buy anything," Roy says to the shopkeeper, a humanoid gecko.

"That's all right, my boy," the gecko says, grinning warmly while setting down a small vase. "You might want to bring along your friends next time."

"...I'll keep that in mind. I would only like to ask some questions."

"What would you like to know?"

"Where are we?"

"You're in Tayll Village, of course, the centre of Smash Tournament activity, second only to the Stadium itself!"

Roy takes a while to respond, obviously as confused as Snake is. "Do you know a place called Pherae?"

"It rings a bell, but no, I don't. Is that the world you're from?"

"World?" Snake questions.

The gecko's grin falters for a second. "I believe you two would benefit from dropping by the Visitor's Centre. I would help you, but I have a stall to run!" He points to over Snake's shoulder to the far side of the square while accepting payment from a feline customer. "The centre is over there. Don't be afraid to ask around. I hope your questions are answered!"

Roy thanks the gecko, and the two make their way through the crowd to the Centre—a quaint wooden shack they hadn't noticed before. The door opens with a jingle, and the receptionist briefly welcomes them to the lavender-scented space. Out of the bustle of the village proper, they finally find the room to breathe.

A wall of brochures to their left catches their attention, as well as two of the four figures standing in front of it, one that looks like a pink balloon animal and the other a blue, bipedal jackal. The other two are a pair of children in parkas holding mallets. The one in pink has her hood down.

Snake grabs a brochure that reads 'Welcome!' in bubble letters and scans it, searching for any information on what sort of secret government experiment they've stumbled upon.

Roy takes a step back to observe the wall and the two creatures.

"Hello."

Snake lifts his head and looks for the voice that just spoke.

"Did you say something?" he asks Roy. A shake of the head is the response.

"Somebody said hello."

"I thought they were talking to me."

"Look to your right."

Snake hears something to his right, and sees the child in the pink parka giggling to herself. He frowns but holds his tongue.

"Keep looking."

Snake looks past the children and at the jackal. The jackal winks.

Snake blinks.

What.

"You're staring straight at me," the voice says again. The jackal waves to him, and the human girl walks to the other side of the room, failing to hide her growing laughter.

So, a telepathic animal that stands on two legs and not four, Snake thinks. When will this day end?

"Is everything alright, Snake?"

Roy appears at his side, keeping an eye on the girl in the parka.

"This can't be real." Snake mutters.

"I'm afraid it is," the jackal says. "Have you never seen a Lucario before?"

Snake lets out a weighty sigh and walks over to a nearby chair to sit down. Roy stays where he is and looks to the jackal.

"You're telepathic?" Roy asks aloud.

"Yes. I presume you're not from Sinnoh?"

"That's correct. Is that where you're from?"

"Yes."

"Hey, Roy," Snake calls from the chair, "it looks like you're going insane yourself, talking aloud to no one in particular."

Snake sees him go red in the face, though the receptionist doesn't seem perturbed. "But we're not telepathic," Roy reasons.

"The more you know." Snake rubs his face before thinking and assuming the jackal hears, Why are you here?

"My Balloon companion and I are lost. We're trying to get home."

"...How'd you get here?"

"We don't know. There was a flash of light and we were suddenly just a little way from this village. It must sound crazy to you."

Snake sighs. "It's crazy that an animal is talking to me. But wait! It gets crazier because that's how we got here, too."

"How peculiar. Perhaps it is fate."

"Do you believe someone is behind this?" Roy asks. "Or perhaps this is a more common occurrence. I've never heard about any working portals..."

"We've been pulled from different worlds and have come together here. Unless this is a common mishap, it must mean something is going on, whether natural or otherwise."

While they continue to talk, Snake picks up a newspaper from the table. The leading article reads:

TOURNEY FIVE TO BRING THOUSANDS

Tayll is at the front lines of the buzz that heralds the fifth Smash Brothers Tournament, the biggest event on this world's calendar. The crowd is set to be bigger than ever, with local analyst Carmen Roemon estimating a crowd of 11 000, over 2000 more than last year. Princess Peach and Princess Zelda, the Coordinators of the tournament

Snake ignores the rest and flips open the newspaper. He's grateful the paper isn't very thick, and scans the pages for columns that might mention other worlds or any unusual activity.

On the second-last page he sees a modest heading in the corner:

PUBLIC NUISANCE

A human man has been seen wandering Tayll Village for the past few days and has allegedly harassed several stall owners. They have reported that on separate occasions he has displayed aggression in haggling to buy miscellaneous goods for negligible prices. Appearance: roughly 160cm, heavy build, thick black moustache. Seen wearing a jacket and biker's helmet. He is unknown to Tayll authorities – any information on him is appreciated.

The notice is accompanied by a blurry photo of a man with a bizarre zig-zag moustache, his face distorted into some unpleasant shape between a smirk and a grimace.

Cheapskate?

"Pardon?" Lucario asks. She coughs aloud. "...I apologise for overhearing. What did you say?"

Snake holds the page up for Lucario and Jigglypuff. "A public nuisance," Snake explains briefly. "He's been a recent thorn in the village's side."

Roy and the two Pokémon move closer for a better view. The child in the blue parka continues browsing through the brochures.

"I hate to be judgemental," Lucario says, "but I wouldn't immediately trust him."

Snake drops the paper back onto the table, which Roy picks back up to read. Something squeaks suddenly and Roy nearly drops the paper in fright.

"Jigglypuff says perhaps we should keep an eye out for him to do some good service to the village," Lucario says.

"Who?" Snake asks.

"Jigglypuff." Lucario gestures to the Balloon beside her. "She's not telepathic, so I must transfer messages on her behalf in the meantime." She turns to Roy, who is fumbling with some loose pages and muttering under his breath. "She must have made that squeak that frightened you so."

"Puff," a high-pitched voice says.

"She apologises."

"That's alright," Roy says, finally setting the paper right and placing it back on the table.

"So how are we all getting back?" Snake mutters.

"Good question!" another voice answers, coming from the receptionist's direction. They see the girl in the pink parka, waving to them. "You two have the same problem as well? The receptionist just told me there's a reference centre out the back."

Snake stares at Lucario, expecting an explanation for the child's intrusion.

"She's an acquaintance," the Pokémon replies. "She and her brother were spirited away from their mountain home in likeness of Jigglypuff and I, only to find themselves in a heap at the village's entrance. And before you ask, the brother is the one in blue over there."

"Someone referred to me?" the child in the blue parka says, turning around to face them. He catches Snake's eye for an uncomfortable moment before focusing on Lucario.

"It seems we're all in the same situation, Popo. All six of us."

"Hello?" the girl in the parka interrupts. "Do you guys wanna get home or not?"

"Nana, don't be so pushy," Popo berates.

"Come along," the receptionist—a human woman—says. "We have records that might point you in the right direction." She beckons them before opening a door previously hidden in the wall behind the counter.

They find themselves in a dark room. The receptionist switches the lights on, revealing the room to be lined with shelves of books and files.

"Your friend filled me in on your situation," she says as she moves over to a computer at the side of the room. "As far as I know, it's unheard of. But perhaps the records say otherwise."

She sits down at the computer and adjusts her glasses. Snake remembers the rustic village just outside the building and wonders what decade they're in.

"Where's the tech from?" he questions.

"The technology? Early twenty-first century Earth."

"'Twenty-first century'? What, there's others?"

The receptionist doesn't reply for a second as she types. "You really have no idea where you are? Our visitors are not usually so disorientated." She continues as she searches through some manner of digital records. "I'll give you the basics. There are many worlds linked by portals to this one. For you, it should only be a matter of locating your corresponding portals and sending you on your way."

She beckons them to the computer.

"What is this device?" Roy wonders. Snake isn't sure whether fascination or the monitor lights up his face more.

"A computer. Sounds like you've never seen one before. I guess in a way, you're lucky to be here." The receptionist points to the monitor, on which she has opened a map of a landmass. "This is the world we're in now. So, where are you all from? I'll tell you where to go."

*.*.*.*.*

"How are you feeling, Snake?"

"Like I'm in a dream. You seem fine with everything."

"Well, I wouldn't like to lie."

"Then you're a pretty good actor."

"I suppose it's a habit."

Snake decides to dig deeper into Roy's ominous statement another day.

The receptionist, after briefing the group on a travel plan to get them all to their portals and organising a guide, directed them to the local inn which was just across the square. By the gracious sympathy of the toucan innkeeper, the vagabonds had been allowed three rooms between them for the night. Immediately after a hearty dinner, they had retreated to their rooms, save for the curious Nana, who—despite the exhausting interdimensional jump—insisted on exploring the village. Popo had reluctantly followed to keep her out of trouble.

Night had since fallen and the pair had not yet returned.

"Should we look for them?" Roy asks.

Snake groans quietly. "I feel like I've got jet lag." He frowns to himself—communicating with this young general without the neologisms of time would be challenging.

Luckily, Roy does not ask what a jet is.

"I'm going out," Roy finally announces. Snake hears a creak as Roy rises from the bed. He retrieves his sword and disappears through the door, which shuts with a quiet click.

Snake stretches and wonders if it's safe to let three unsupervised minors out in the dark of night. It is very quiet, especially compared to the bustle of the day, and while it ought to entice sleep, it instead makes him uneasy. He eventually swings his legs over the bed's edge and stands to leave, the wooden floorboards creaking beneath his feet.

He hears a voice: "Snake?"

He turns to face the door but finds it's still closed. Then he remembers. Lucario, right?

"Yes. You'll look for them, too?"

Probably should.

"Make haste..." The voice comes through unusually strained and seems to reverberate inside Snake's skull.

What makes you say that?

"That wasn't me."

Then who?

"Perhaps an eavesdropper. Hold on... Jigglypuff says she heard the voice, too."

Then there's a distant shriek.

Snake swears under his breath and hopes that it isn't one of the kids. He rushes to the window and wrenches it open. From there he has a view of the village square and the main street.

Beneath the arch at village entrance is a large, vaguely humanoid figure. It moves with the whirr of gears, and among the madness of the day, is perhaps the last thing Snake expected to see—a robot. And if his eyes aren't deceiving him, some smaller figures are standing near it.

He climbs out the window and, keeping to the looming shadows of the buildings, begins making his way over. He eventually recognises the three figures on the ground as Roy and the parka siblings. He observes the scene from behind some empty barrels.

"Leave him alone!" Nana brandishes her mallet. "We're armed!"

There's a nasally, mocking laughter that Snake doesn't recognise. "You're a fool to challenge this technological masterpiece!"

Snake hears Nana laugh scornfully in response. He hears shuffling behind him, and finds Lucario and Jigglypuff next to him. They say nothing, but look on with concern.

"Please let him go." It's Roy, addressing the opponent sternly. A hand hovers near his sword's hilt. "He has nothing to do with this!"

"It's his fault for getting in my way! The kid should learn to open his eyes a little. I'll be teaching him how."

The robot is in a crouch but still manages to be twice as tall as a man. Its left hand is in the air, and something squirms in its grasp.

Then there's an unfamiliar, youthful voice. "You can't hurt me, loser! Now let me go!"

Laughter again. Then the robot slams its left fist down into the dirt, creating a small quake and a cloud of dust. A terrified shriek rings out.

Snake aims and fires his SOCOM, but the man must have seen him and ducks as the bullets fly past.

"Hey!" Snake yells, completely emerging from behind the barrels. "Get away from that thing!"

Popo spins around to face him.

"Sir!" Snake can see his shocked expression in the dark. "It's the man from the newspaper—he's controlling this... thing and has taken a hostage! What do we do?"

Before Snake can reply, there's a flash and the sound of crystal breaking. The dust settles, revealing Roy with his flaming sword jammed into one of the robot's ankle joints, which is spluttering electricity.

"We'll ask one more time," he warns, wrenching the blade out. The flame extinguishes itself while the robot's joint creaks and shudders in the darkness. "Release him or we—"

"Leave it alone!" Snake shouts. "Do you want to get yourself killed by that thing?!"

There's more cackling.

Roy turns his head. "Snake, you're here!"

The robot's right arm swoops down like a hawk. A second later, Roy is being held in the air. There's a yelp and a soft thump as the other young hostage is dropped on the ground.

"Damn it!" Roy's still holding his sword, but the robot's weak points are beyond his range.

"I let him go, like you asked!" the man mocks. Snake now spots the man sitting atop the robot's head. The light of a glowing panel lights up his face, and Snake sees the zig-zag moustache.

"Kids, stay back," Snake commands as he approaches the robot and its controller. Popo pulls a resistant Nana back. Snake stares up at the man. "What do you want? Why are you harassing these children?"

"I'm here to make sure you all stay where you need to be," the man responds, leering down at the group. Snake meets his gaze. "No one will be leaving this village without contending with this robot."

"So, you're terrorising people!"

The robot leans over so that its head nearly touches the ground. The man is nearly at eye-level with Snake. The stench of garlic worms its way into Snake's nose as the man grins.

There's a sudden clang from the robot's right side. Roy is trying to cut himself free.

"Thought the element of surprise would help you, eh?" the man taunts. The robot's grip visibly tightens and Roy gasps. It prises his sword from his hands. "I'll be keeping this fascinating little souvenir. Might come in handy! Wahaha!"

"You're not funny!" Nana growls. She transfers the hostage from her arms to Popo's.

"I beg to differ!" the man says. The hand holding Roy slams into the ground. There's a flash of light and when it dies, they see that Roy is completely still. The moonlight reflects off his face as if he's made of metal.

Nana lurches forward but Snake catches her arm.

"Anyway," the man says, "I'm gonna keep a hold on your friend to show everyone what happens if you get in the way. Now scram if you don't want to end up like him."

A closer look reveals that Roy has indeed been turned to metal, frozen in a moment of terror. Snake swears out loud.

A hovering cart appears from behind a nearby building and stops beside the robot. The man leaps off the robot's head and into the cart's driver's seat. He waves at the robot and it tosses the transformed Roy into the cart.

"Be good," the man jests. "I've got places to be!" He tugs at the cart's joystick and the engine roars.

"Get back here!" Nana yells. She dashes forward with her mallet raised, but the cart circles her and is on its way before she can take a swing.

She slumps to the ground, watching the cart grow smaller on the eastern horizon. "Screw you!"

"Leave it," Snake says. "We're going back right now."

"He took Roy!" Nana protests.

"I know, but we don't need any more chaos today!"

There's a menacing whirr as the robot turns to face them, as if to solidify Snake's point.

"We'll look for him tomorrow, then," Nana declares. The robot watches as she walks back over to her sibling. Jigglypuff is already there, poring over the hostage.

Snake sighs. "Is the kid injured? That blow looked awful."

"I'm fine," the child replies softly. "I'm not hurt."

"What?" By now, Snake's eyes have adjusted to the dark and he can get a better look at the child—an anthropomorphic rabbit, unharmed.

Jigglypuff squeaks.

"He hasn't got a scratch," Lucario translates. "Remarkable."

"Not really," the child says. "It's normal around here. You can't hurt people here—they just turn into trophies. Didn't you know that?"

"No," Snake says. "We don't even know how we got here."

"Did you get here by accident?"

Snake cannot answer. "We'll take you home."

*.*.*.*.*

None of them can sleep when they arrive back at the inn, so they take a table in the corner of the inn and talk, initially venting their confusion at each other until their nerves calm somewhat.

"That fighting tournament Perry mentioned sounded fun," Nana comments.

"Who?" Lucario asks.

"Perry. The rabbit we saved."

"Ah. I'm still astounded at whatever higher powers prevented the child from being seriously injured."

"That doesn't mean we can suddenly save the world, though," Snake warns. "We're essentially under siege and we don't know anything about this place, so we need to be careful."

"Okay," Nana says quickly. "So how are gonna save Roy?"

"We'd need to get rid of the robot, first," Popo says, shuddering involuntarily at the memory of its sheer strength. "It's very strong, but we outnumber it, and can hopefully outmanoeuvre it. I'd say we have a chance—remember how Roy went for the joint?"

"I believe we need a smarter strategy," Lucario says. "We must avoid endangering the villagers."

"That's right," Snake agrees. "We can't fall out of favour of the people here." If they couldn't lay low, he at least wanted to avoid pissing off the locals by creating collateral damage.

Lucario yawns wide, her sharp teeth visible for a second. "Sorry."

"Maybe we should sleep on it and compile ideas tomorrow," Popo suggests.

"That's a terrible idea," Nana protests.

"I'm doing it, anyway."

And the others follow.

[1] According to the footnotes of an early version of this chapter, 'snakes' was the first word I thought of ;)))

It pains me to put Our Boy out of commission :( Not satisfied with the chapter's end but OH WELL. This has been in my drafts for soooo loooong.

Feel free to review!