Summer 2014

Natasha and Steve have been partners at SHIELD for almost two years. She still hadn't told Steve about Nadia or that she knew Bucky. It's crazy how her life worked. Bucky was like her brother and he was like Steve's brother.

Natasha was always afraid of what would happen if she told her best friend. She wanted to tell him right after he came out of the ice, but Fury thought he needed time to adapt. By the time he adapted, Steve and Nat were already partners and Avengers. Natasha didn't want to change the dynamic between them. She was also becoming aware of the dangerous feelings she had for him. He saved her when nobody else could. If it wasn't for him, Nadia would never have been born and Clint would've shot her on sight.

Steve didn't know where Natasha went a few days every month. He assumed it was to see her boyfriend, Barton, but he wasn't sure. She always looked happier when she returned but she looked more tired than when she left. She always acted strange when he brought up Bucky. She always looked beautiful-but that wasn't important. He knew that she had a watered down version of his super serum in knew that he loved the way she looked when she came over to watch a movie with him. He knew how grateful he was for her teaching him about technology and the new world. Lastly, he knew how he felt about her.

Peggy was lost to him. She had gotten married, had kids, fallen in love after him. It was time for him to move on.

Nadia was a thirteen year old in the form of a nine year old. Her growth was stunted by half by HYDRA when she was younger. They wanted to be able to get twenty years of training in without having her need to go on missions due to her age. She only grew up to be five in HYDRA and has grown up her acual four years since she and her mom escaped. It saddened Natasha that her kid will always be over four years younger both mentally and physically, but there was nothing she could do about it.

Back when Natasha first joined SHIELD, she agreed to search everyone who worked their in case they had any conenctions to HYDRA. She only found two. Garrett, who was Bucky's handler for a few months before he got demoted and Ward, who she had been on a mission with in 2009. They were put in jail and haven't seen a soul since 2011.

Natasha had just gotten back from visiting Clint. Nadia stayed with the Bartons. It was safer and everyone knew that she was the Barton's cousin so it made sense for her to live with them. Fury texted her that she needed to grab Steve and get them both to the Triskelion.

Mission Alert. Extraction Imminent. :)

She turned the corner and saw him talking to Sam Wilson. The three of them had gone out to a bowling alley together one night. Between all their perfect aim, the gift shop hated them.

"Anybody know where the Smithstonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil." She says when she rolled down the window. Steve gave her a huge smile to which she replied with a smirk. She was getting into the car with the father of her child that he didn't know about. How else should she act?

"That's hilarious"

"How ya doin?" Sam asked her to which she replied. "Hey"

They drive off quickly into the direction of the base.

"How was your trip?" Steve asks her. She grinned. She had a great time with THEIR child and her neice and nephew. Hell, even during this visit Laura told her that she was expecting twins. Natasha didn't know how much longer she should keep this up. Steve probably not believe her unless she showed him proof. He still wasn't an expert on how that kind of tech worked nowadays.

"Good. I was thinking that we should hang out after the mission. I've been away for weeks."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Can't stay away from me Romanoff?" he jokes. Oh if only he knew.

"You would know Rogers." she says and makes the mistake of looking in his eyes. She falls into them. The soft blue entrancing her. She found so much care and love in his eyes that she only looked away when a car honked at them. She looked away and so did Steve. He looked a little sad but that's because he wears his heart on his sleeve and doesn't protect it unless he has to. The tension in the car was very heavy. Natasha found herself listening in to every breath he took.

She needed to get herself together. She was the Black Widow not some schoolgirl who learned about this man in history class.

"What's the mission about?" Steve asked changing the subject.

"Ship was attacked. Pirates are holding SHIELD crew hostage. We need to get the hostages, take out the pirates and hopefully get to take a few in for questioning." she left out the part about her retrieving the classified information.

"So don't use leathal force unless nessessary. Got it." he ran a hand through his hair. Making it slightly more messy. Natasha really wanted to kiss this man, but they were at SHIELD and he probably didn't like her like that. They were friends, good friends. Natasha let that stay inside of her and hope that Steve wouldn't hate her when this is all over.

Natasha stood in front of the body. Nick was dead. The man who was like her father is dead. And worse, the man who killed him was like her brother. Clint already knew from Maria but she thought that this was a call that Natasha had to make. Maria stepped in the room where the two Avengers were looking at her old boss's body. They didn't know he was still alive. If they could convice perhaps the two most suspisious people in SHIELD, the chances of whoever shot him knowing are slim.

"Natasha" Maria said to get her attention and Natasha turned to her. Her eyes had a little bit of color around them and she could hear Steve take a sharp breath when he saw her. He had sadness in his eyes. "She's on the phone." Maria handed Natasha a phone and she sobbed.

"How do I tell her?" Natasha asks, not caring that Steve was in the room, he would find out soon enough if HYRDA was involved.

Maria looked at her apologetically. "I don't know how to answer that Nat, but I already told them, they can help." She left the room. Natasha looked at Steve.

"Nat-do you want me to leave?" he stuttered since he had no idea what the two women were just talking about.

"Yeah" Steve gave Natasha a kiss on the cheek. He left the room and closed the door. He stood right outside so that nobody would walk in. Steve had wanted to give her privacy but thanks to his enhanced hearing, he started listening in when he heard the first words leave her mouth.

"Hey baby. How are you? It's late there."

"It's not that late. Uncle Clint said I had to stay up to call you."

Steve thought for a second. 'That sounded like a little girl. Uncle Clint?' And then it dawned on him. Natasha had a daughter.

"Tell him I say hi when I get off the phone ok?"

"Ok Mama. What's wrong? Uncle Clint and Aunty Laura are really upset. Cooper told me that Aunty Laura didn't even cry like this when she was pregnant with Lila so it's not that again."

Steve stopped breathing again. 'Was Clint married? Were Cooper and Lila his kids? Again. Was Clint's wife pregnant?' He nearly caught up his breathing when he had the thought. 'Natasha isn't Barton's girl. Who's her kid's father. That means I can never have a chance with her. A father wouldn't leave his kid and wife alone or in danger even in this time. Right?'

"Honey, it's Grandpa Nick." Natasha tried not to cry but a tear fell anyway. "He was killed. It was him."

'Who is him? The father of her child? Would that mean that her kid was in the KGB?'

"Why would Jamie hurt him?"

"He's not in control. Don't worry. I'm gonna find him."

"I love you Mama" she paused. "And Cooper told me to tell you that he loves you two"

"Love you my miracle." Natasha turned off the call and wiped her nose. She walked out of the room and saw Steve. She knew by the look on his face that he had heard the whole thing.

Steve decided to take a leap of faith with Natasha. Rumlow had just told them that they had to keep going. He pulled her in for a hug. She was surprised, but hugged back.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Natasha" as he said her name, she felt something go into her back pants pocket.

"Thanks" she meant this both for trusting her and because she really needed that hug. It was only the second hug that they'd ever had and Natasha would savor it until the next if there ever would be. She knew that Steve had heard and when they next see each other, he would want answers that she wasn't sure she could give him.

Steve walked down the hallway of the hospital in his newly stolen gym uniform. He hoped that Natasha knew him well enough to stay at the hospital so that he could find her. He was still angry about her not telling him about having to retrieve the information but he might be able to see through that in light of recent events. He walks into a spare room and draws the blinds down so that nobody can see in. He felt a warm breath on his neck. He grabbed the arm and forced the person to the wall.

He saw those green eyes and took of the hood of his hoodie.

"Where is it?" he commanded.

"Safe"

"Do better" he squeezed her arms tighter and she ingnored the feeling that them being so close brought them.

"Steve I'm Sorry!" she yelled, careful about where they were. "I'm sorry" she calmed down and he didn't let her go.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a kid? I would've made sure that nobody bothered you. Jeez Nat. Don't you trust me?" he didn't bring up Barton's kids, that wasn't her secret to tell.

She had tears streaming down her face. Steve felt so bad for making her cry. Today was already so hard for her.

"I was scared. She's barely even nine. She grew up to be an assassin. I've only ever trusted Clint and Fury with her. I wanted to tell you but-" Steve made a spur of the moment decision and pushed his lips against hers. She held her hands over his shoulders for a minute before kissing back with as much energy. It wasn't hungry but passionate almost like they were speaking. She ran her fingers slowly through his blonde hair. She moaned when he lightly sucked on her lower lip. Steve let up hesitantly but he was on the run and needed to move. Natasha opened her eyes and felt a rush run through her body. "Wow. That was great, but I can't. I'll explain later. Ok?"

Steve nodded disapointedly. "What's her name."

"Nadia" she left out the Stevenova Romanova-Rogers bit, but she would get to it eventually. She just kissed the father of her child. She had to think about Nadia. She deserved a father and Natasha didn't have the best track record when it came to men so she decided that she would give this up so that Nadia might be able to have a father one day.

"How do you know who shot Fury?"

Natasha looked in his eyes and she knew that there was no way of getting out of this. "He trained me. We were partners then he grew to be like my brother. James is also a supersoldier who lost his arm. Without him, Nadia and I would've died a long time ago."

"Is he her father?" Steve asked the leading question on his brain.

"No" maybe she could delay this a little longer. "Her father was long gone when I had her. She was an experiment. She's a super soldier child." that was enough of that subject for now. "I need to find him. We need to change clothes, get to a public computer, and get the hell away."

"You sure? You could become a national fugitive."

"What else is new."

She was going to help him. She knew after that kiss that she was truely and totally in love with him. She couldn't let him put himself in danger like he always did.

Natasha reached her hand out to cup his cheek and he froze. She kissed his temple. After so much of her life.

"I just don't want you to be alone Steve, that's why I'm helping"

"Thanks Nat" he still couldn't find a reaction in him other than to follow her out.

"If your already working in a secret office..." Steve pushed the two bookcases apart "Why do you need to hide the elevator?"

They stepped into the ancient metal box and Natasha used an app on her phone to scan the code. They rode down. Steve had his shield ready and Natasha was never to far from a gun. They entered a room filled up with a computer.

INITIATE SYSTEM

"Y-E-S. Spells yes." Natasha typed in the code to the computer. She stood back as the computer whirred. "Do you want to play a game?" she asks. She then realizes that Steve might not be as up to date on movies as his nine year old daughter. "It's from a mo-"

"Yeah, I've seen it" she smiled back at him.

The camera light turned on and an accented voice spoke.

"Rogers, Steven Grant. Born 1918"

"Romanova, Natalia Alianova. Born 1956"

Steve looked at her. "Nadia wasn't the only type of experiment." she said. Thankfully Steve understood that not many people want to bring up how they were illegally experimented on in normal conversation.

"Oh Natalia. How nice to see you again." the computer spoke. Natasha furrowed her eyebrows. Why was this voice familiar?

"It must be some kind of recording."

"I am not a recording Romanova"

"It's Arnim Zola, a German scientist who was best friends with the Red Skull."

Natasha remembered. James's memories, his voice, Strucker's drawings.

"YOU'RE the reason James and Joesph and Steven are dead" Natasha spoke with venom and Steve stepped up to her.

"James, the Winter Soldier. I thought he was alive." Steve said. He was concerned that there were tears coming down her face. He had never seen Natasha cry before today and it scared him...a lot.

You could hear the computer smirking. "Oh has she not told you?"

"Don't you dare" Natasha went right up and smashed the computer screen with her bare hand. Zola's face appeared on the other screen.

"As I was saying, there is much that Romanova hasn't told you."

Natasha couldn't speak, only whimper out a small "please" that went unheard by the scientist.

"Accessing archive...Firstly HYDRA was created on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, SHIELD was founded and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew. A beautiful parasite inside SHIELD. For seventy years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed." Natasha teared up at the sight of the many assassinations that James had been sent on "HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA's new world order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your Life; a zero sum."

Steve fumed at the screen. "What next?" he growled.

"If Romanova had been successful in our other pursuits for cloning, your life might've had some value in HYDRA's cause. Natalia was part of our experiment that would try our best to clone you. We had four experiments that were born, sadly Romanova's blood made it impossible for us to recreate you without her having a serum. In 1984, we were able to develop another serum from the Winter Soldier. Nadia as you call her is the only surviving experiment. Don't worry about your kin Rogers, she'll join you shortly."

As Zola said this, the doors closed. Steve was to preoccupied by what he was hearing to stop it. He ran down to the grate opening. Natasha took out her phone.

"Short range ballistic, thirty tops" Natasha could barely read it and she couldn't believe that Steve hadn't rung her neck out by now.

"Who fired it"

"SHIELD"

Natasha realized that she was wrong. There were more than Garrett and Ward that were in SHIELD. Natasha couldn't die, neither could Steve. "Steve, please"

"And now the both of us" Steve threw off the top "are out of time"

Natasha ran into Steve's arms as the ceiling collapsed on them. That was the last thing she remembered before the back of her head was hit by brick.

Natasha felt a jerk and her eyes rolled back into her head. It all came back to her. Steve knew. She picked her head up and day that the truck was at a gas station. They were in Delaware. No doubt that Steve wanted to talk to her.

There was a hole in the window of the highway store. The clock on the front of the car read 3:00am. The car door opened and she reached for her gun that was misplaced. 'Nice one Rogers'.

"Hey Romanoff" Steve said as emotionlessly as possible. He handed her a water bottle and sat down in the car seat next to her. He wasn't sure of what he was doing. He was in the car with an ex-HYDRA agent and...the mother of the child he didn't know he had. "So can you tell me what the hell that was all about?" he asked.

She hoped he knew that she would've told him. "Steve I-"

"Don't say that you're sorry! Why didn't you tell me? IT"S BEEN TWO YEARS, I DESERVE TO KNOW!" Steve yelled. Natasha cried again, he made her cry and that broke his heart but he didn't have it in him to really care.

"I know that you deserved to know. I was scared Steve. How do you tell a man who woke up 70 years in the future that you were the mother to four of his kids, three of which are dead?" she yelled rhetorically. "I didn't tell you because I thought you would hate me."

Steve looked at the woman he thought that he knew. She looked at him. Her usually clean and somewhat seductive face was blotched with wet mascara and heavy eyes.

"I could never hate you Nat. I hate HYDRA. Why didn't you tell me that the thing I gave my life for was still working?" he asked a little more calm.

"Fury and I went through everyone in SHIELD, the CIA, and the FBI. We thought that there was nobody left that had connections to HYDRA and that they were just people born into the wrong place who sometimes got dealt a good hand. We arrested a few. But Steve, you're the reason I'm alive right now" she admitted.

"What do you mean?" He knows that he saved her on like missions and stuff.

"When Clint found me, I was on a mission with Nadia. He didn't want her to end up an orphan like him and he offered me a chance. I took it for her sake. Best decision of my life and I need to tell you something else, about the soldier." Natasha looked at him. He wasn't angry anymore. "James, the Winter Soldier. He is thought to have died in WW2. He's the reason that Nadia and I are still alive. He served with you"

Steve's face lost all color. "What-How?"

"He was saved by Zola. His mind has been wiped over and over. We made a promise though, I promised that if I ever managed to get out, he would make sure that HYDRA never comes after Nadia. Please Steve. I've looked for him, I've tried." She looked into his blank eyes. The usual baby blue replaced with guilt, loss, and the weight of the world.

"Buck's alive." Steve leaned back into his seat. He looked into her watery eyes. He knew that Bucky must've been as important to her as he had been to him.

"I named them after you." Steve looked at her confused. "The ones that died. None of them lived for more than a few weeks. James was the first one, lived the longest. I had him when I was fifteen. He lived for about three weeks before his body attacked itself. They only gave them codes. When Nadia was born I had been given a super serum, she was the most healthy. I had hope that she would survive, that she might be able to escape so that's what I named her. Nadia Stevenova Romanova-Rogers but the world knows her as Nadia Roman. The kid in Missouri that lives with her cousins."

Steve was shocked. He really didn't know her. He didn't know his kid. "Clint's kids?"

"Yeah, his wife Laura said I could tell you when you found out about her." Natasha looked down again at her hands.

"That's why you didn't want to kiss me" Steve said.

She looked at him again. "Yeah. I don't have the best record with guys and Nadia deserves a father after everything she's been through. I'm sorry"

"Nat stop apologising. I'm gonna drive us to Sam's and we're going to figure out whatever Insight is from there. Now can we both not talk? I need too think"

Natasha sat on the small cot that the medical staff had brought in. James hadn't shot her any place dangerous, just enough to slow her down. She knew that he must've been out of cryo a few weeks and the real him is starting to gain control. She had to call Clint and tell him what was going on. Steve planned to take down SHIELD and she knew that Clint had to know ASAP. She wanted to tell him to bring Nadia to meet her father when this is all over.

She had to let out all of HYDRA's information to the internet. Luckily she was given permission by Fury, who was very much alive and snarky as ever, to delete anything retaining to Nadia or the Bartons. She had spoken with Fury after everyone left the meeting room. He told her that she would've done the same if it was her or Nadia's life in danger and she knew it was true. It took two years for Steve to find out he had a kid, and Natasha wasn't even the one to tell him. Steve had enough of everything that was going on and worst of all. He was in love with an ex-HYDRA agent.

"Natasha" she heard someone knocking on the curtians to provide some privacy as they pulled out the bullet.

"Hey" she said. Steve walked over to her cot and sat down next to her.

"Nat, I'm going to be completely honest when I say that I have no idea what to say. I'm not mad about anything that they made you do. I'd just wished that you would've told me sooner." he took her hand in his. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just want to make sure that they can never get to her again. I'm not sure what's going to happen with all of this but she needs to remain my top priority." Natasha squeezed his hand a little. "You should meet her when this is all over."

A smile overtook Steve's features and he hadn't even met the kid. "What's she like?"

Natasha shifted a little, her face lighting up. "She is very smart. Dispite HYDRA messing around with her growth and age when she was younger. She only aged half the time when she was with HYDRA. She was born in 2001, but the doctors did something so that she is always four years younger than she really is. Other than that she's a normal nine year old. She loves to draw, do ballet, listens to a lot of music. She runs with the boys, but that's probably all Cooper's doing. Does well in school, she has a few friends." Natasha looked at him. She knew that she was shot but couldn't resist wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back, careful of her arm.

"Yeah, will I be allowed to see her after that?" Steve asks.

"Of course, she's your kid two. But, I've been thinking for a while and I'm going to retire." Steve gawked at her.

"What?!"

She looked at him. 'Did he really not see this coming.' "I haven't been able to be with her most of her life. I want to be there for her. I want to retire, that way she and I can live somewhere together in peace. I'll let you keep in touch with her and you can obviously see her. But I know that you and Sam are going to try and find James if you aren't able to convice him to come with you tomorrow. I can't hold you back."

It struck Steve like a pound of bricks, she wants him to be happy and she doesn't care about herself when Nadia's involved. Yes he does want to help Bucky but he would change everything for Natasha and Nadia if she would let him. "Ok, just know that I'll always be there if one of you need me."

Steve laid on his hospital bed. He tried opening his hooded eyes but they seemed to fail over and over. He caught sight of a blur of red and he tried extra hard to get them open. He looked over next to him and saw Clint reading something with a kid laying on him.

"Hey Cap" Clint said and stirred the girl that was on his knee. Steve looked more closely at the girl. She had bright blue eyes and mostly blonde hair with a little bit of red. She looked like a mix of his mother and NATASHA. The last few days all came back to him.

"Hey Barton" Steve made an attempt to sit up. Clint made the back of the seat move up to Steve was sitting up a little more. The girl stood up and sat on the edge of the bed. She looked at her father and then to Clint and then back to her father.

"Is he the one that Cooper is always talking about?" she asks.

"Yeah, this is Steve." Clint says.

"My Dad?" she asks again.

Steve looked at her again, she was amazing. "Yeah, I'm your Dad." he managed to get out. He didn't really even care that his voice was parched. "Where's Nat?"

"Dealing with the bald men." Nadia says. Clint snorts before clarifying. "Politicians"

Nadia played with her hands, another way that she was so much like Natasha.

"I'm Nadia. The doctor came in here an hour ago. She was very nice. She said that you could leave tomorrow if you don't fool around or whatever" Clint took out a drawing pad and handed it to her. Nadia smiled. "Mommy said that you draw, like actually draw, not like Uncle Clint." She handed him the notepad and pencil while laying on top of his legs. Steve's arm wasn't broken so he started sketching the first thing that came to mind. His hand moved slowly, making sure to capture every curve she had from memory. He smiled when he finished his drawing of Natasha.

The doctor came into the room and told Clint and Nadia that Steve needed to rest. Clint needed to get Nadia home that way she wouldn't miss out on school tomorrow. Steve said goodbye after spending a few hours with his little girl.

Steve went home with Wilson later that day. He expected to hear from Natasha but she didn't text. It hurt him but it made sense that she was busy planning Fury's elaborate fake funeral. Natasha managed to get all of the information about Nadia that HYDRA had off of SHIELD's files before she realesed them to the public. All of her past was out there though. The other experiments were done years before Nadia was born and that information was in a totally different file so Natasha now had to live with the world knowing about that.

Stark had texted her and said that Pepper wanted to have a girls night sometime. She heard from a few old contacts like Yelena and Melina who had no idea about what happened prior. This is who she was to the world. Either the ex-assassin who lost three children in HYDRA experiments or the woman who illegally participated in the cloning of a human being for two different terrorist organizations. The second was the one preferred by the media though.

The next day Steve was talking to Fury next to his fake tomb.

"You should be honored, that's as close as he says to saying thank youl"

Sam and Fury decided to give them a little privacy.

"You leaving?" Steve asked.

"Yeah. I just blew all my covers, gotta figure out a new one. Don't worry, we'll call. Search shouldn't be that hard now that's he's figured almost everything out. Security camera caught him last night looking into a mirror at the exhibit." she gives him her folder that Yelena got her in Kiev. He opens it and looks up to her. "Just take care of yourself" she reached her mouth up to his cheek and kissed it. It lingered for a minute before she stepped back. "Bring him back Steve. I'll see you around"

Natasha walked away from the graveyard and she barely held the tears in until she was in her car. She knew where she was going. She had already bought a house in an area with good schools and no crime for Nadia. She wouldn't tell Steve where they were, he could call in but she was scared. She hoped he would forgive her one day.

hoped you guys all liked it. thank you to the people who followed and don't forget to leave a review. will update soon but until then xoxoxo