I meant to have this up yesterday but my computer wasn't letting me add any chapters to the story for some reason, but I obviously worked it out because you're reading this.
*I reuploaded this due to an error that occured, making it unable to be read.
The one thing that Nat hates more than anything is having to wake up at ten on a Saturday morning to teach five year olds. What could only make it better is that reahearsal last night ran over two hours late. At least she had Steve to handle Nadia, who was doing better than she was a week ago. Nat was surprised how quickly they had all gotten into a regular routine. Nadia certainly enjoys having both of her parents around her all the time. Nat's just glad that her and Steve haven't really fought yet. He trusts her parenting, but he's got into the role of a father very quickly. He doesn't act hostile to her like she would be to him if she were in his shoes.
She gets to the studio to open up. Immediately Katie was on her tail about why Nat didn't go on that date. Lucky Katie had to take a week off to go visit her brother or Nat would've had to deal with that and Steve coming at the same time. Katie let up when Casey came in. the studio was letting the little kids play Clara's family, to make sure everyone is included. And that means costumes, a lot of them. They would look really cute in the end so it would be worth it. It didn't help with their time frame though. The studio didn't have nearly enough money to make or rent really nice costumes for everyone. That is another thing that she's thankful to Steve for, he's been helping her make huge rat masks since he did a year in art school during the forties.
They start rehearsal and immediately start pulling kids out for fittings. The amount of snowflake costumes they had is ridiculous. After hours of stitching and pointe work, they were let out. They planned today so that everyone would come in and out so it's around two pm now. It lines up perfectly for her lunch given that her next class starts at four. She needs to work with the Sugar Plum fairy, who is the only high school student that she currently has that wants to go pro after high school.
She looks in the minifridge, she must've forgot her lunch. Nadia was having a sleepover at a friend's house so she could have a little bit of free time today.
"Hey Nat, come give me a hand." Casey calls from the second studio. She gives up on having lunch at this point. She goes into the room with a smile, today has been a better day than mos for her. "Can you help me with the stretch bands, they think that it's a good idea to just lay them everywhere."
Nat laughs at that. True, the teens do not clean up after themselves very well. She probably has more toe spacers than pointe shoes right now. She picks up all of the bands. While doing that, she leans over close to where Casey is putting his papers together. She stands up after sorting them all out. Feeling Casey's eyes on her, she turns around sharply.
He is walking towards her, not in a threatening way but it still made her heart rate go up. In some part of her mind, she's scared of what could happen next. Some part of her wanted Steve to stay the only man she kissed because of her own emotion.
He puts a hand on her waist and one on her face, asking for confirmation. She didn't initiate but he did, and against her own mind, her lips responded. The kiss wasn't as nice as Steve's had been, but nobody could compare to his. She smiles as they pull apart.
"Want to go for lunch?" Casey asks, twisting a strand of her hair in his fingers.
Nat blushes, "sure, just no sushi."
The two share a laugh, they just didn't see who was outside.
Nat walks into her apartment with a slightly goofy smile. Casey was nice enough but she still wasn't sure bringing him is the best idea for Nadia. But she didn't feel guilty about it like she did when she kissed Steve. She wants them to be friends again, for them and she wants to be able to work together for Nadia. She was vaugely aware of the way that they interacted before the whole HYRDA ordeal, but she couldn't think anything about it then.
Steve hears a bag fall on the floor the same way Nat did every day after ballet. He's angry, hurt, and curious. What does this Casey guy have that he doesn't. Ok, well maybe being able to use an IPHONE, but other than that? He's happy for her somewhere inside him, it still doesn't change the fact that she would be okay bring a complete stranger into the three of their lives instead of him. He walks out of the kitchen and her face loses the smile that had been on it.
"Hey Steve"
"Seemed like you were having fun at rehearsal." Steve looked her dead in the eyes, "you sure none of the little kids saw that and started wondering what is going on between their director and dance teacher."
"How'd you find out? Did Katie tell you?" Nat asked quickly, what's his deal?
Steve approaches her. "I was bringing you lunch because you forgot it and it was around two so I figured that I should bring it to you. So I walk there in the rain and I see you two making out in the middle of the prep area. Allie's mom called, the girls wanted to go to the mall but they had to call me because you didn't pick up. They didn't say anything but I'm pretty sure they missed the viewing of the movie they wanted to see. I also thought that you said that you weren't interested in anything like that, but aparently not."
"Steve I'm sorry. I didn't like plan for that to happen or anything. It just happened. Besides Nadia knows him and likes him." Nat says back, the tension in the room rising. "Don't worry, I'm not replacing the Dad in our family. I just want to be happy. I have never been more happy than when it's me and Nadia. I do everything for her. I want to do this one thing for myself."
"Why do you want to let a complete stranger into our lives, Nadia's life if you don't even want to let me in.! I'm an outsider to my own daughter!" Steve shouts, making Nat step back. He never got this angry back at SHIELD, not even with Rumlow. It slightly hurt her to know that she had hurt him. What if he would leave them? She now has that thought in her mind while Steve spoke at her. She didn't want to do this by herself anymore. She didn't want to be alone anymore. This is her throwing all caution to the wind. She slaps Steve hard in the face. "What the hell Nat?!"
She procedes to kiss the spot that she hit, soothing the sting. He can feel his own heart stop for a minute. She takes his sharp breath as a good thing and continues her trail of kisses along his jaw. She starts tangling her hands into his blonde hair. She moves her lips up to his, a crease slightly forming on her forehead when he doesn't respond. She thought that this was what he wanted.
"Nat stop!" He yells onto her lips. She stops, thinking that she made a huge mistake. "Nat, we've kissed before and each time you broke my heart by saying that we can't be together. Don't play with my emotions." He pleads. He has been hurt by her far too many times to let it happen again.
She plants a kiss on his neck. "I'm not. Let's just figure this out later, I've already had a few of your kids. C'mon." She brings him to her bedroom and locks the door.
The waking up is almost as nice as the falling asleep. She woke with her back to him, his arms encircling her waist. She could feel his abs against her back. It felt right, though nothing they did last night could qualify as right. Well not in her mind but her body feels pretty damn good. His warm breath tickles her neck, like the last time they slept in the same bed. Only this time, they weren't wearing anything. Her night empty of her usual dreams(and nightmares)
"You awake?" She hears an unusually deep voice ask her.
"Yeah, were you watching me sleep?" Nat asks him. She can feel him nod on her neck, placeing a loving kiss there. "That's weird."
Steve flips her over onto her other side, something she thinks a normal human can do. She's now faceing him. "No. I just like looking at the most beautiful person in the world." He almosts says love instead of like, that wouldn't have gone over well. "I have a few questions."
"So do I, can I go first. It's a more pressing matter." Steve nods. "Was that your first time?
"Yeah, glad I got it done with the right gal." Steve tells her with a kiss. Maybe yesterday he would've been shy about his virginity but that's not an issue for him anymore. "My question is a little more serious and you don't have to answer it, okay. How was it, losing the first three?"
Nat gulps. "It was hard. I was only a teenager, didn't understand, put myself in more pain than I needed to. At least I had James when Nadia was born, they didn't torture me because she lived. They punished me after I lost each of them, because I cried."
"Oh baby, I'm sorry." He says as he wipes the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry that you had to go through that because of me."
"It's not your fault Steve, it's Strucker's. Nadia's healthy and happy now that you're here. So am I." She gives him another kiss. "Hmmm, ready for round two?"
"Always."
Nat sneaks out of what she guesses is their bedroom now. She needs a glass of water, luckily Nadia wanted to stay with her friend until they had to leave for practice at one. Nat would need to thank her mother. She picks up her phone, looks like birdbrain called her. She picks up her phone to dial him back.
"Natasha?" A voice says on the other side. Laura must've picked it up.
"Hey Laura, how are the boys doing?"
A long pause and some shuffling sounds later. "Where the hell are you? We've been looking for months. The kids miss you and Nadia."
"I know, I know, I messed up. I need to tell you something." Nat takes a deep breath. "I slept with Steve. He's been with me for a week, he has really helped with Nadia. I don't know, we were having a fight then I slapped him and kissed him. I have no idea what to do. Laura, romantic love is only in children's stories and in some cases you and Clint. It's a weakness for me, I can't have any weaknesses."
"Tell him how you feel, maybe he can help."
"No, I can't. I can't care about him. I don't want him to get hurt, but Nadia's the only thing that matters. I don't love him. I don't care about him"
"You're going to regret that Nat, I hope you know what you're doing." Laura tells her and the two friends exchange goodbyes. Nat slumps on the kitchen counter, her eyes traveling up something. Steve. There he was, looking hurt and confused.
"You know what Natasha, I'm going to help Sam with a lead that we have with Bucky in Portland. I'll be back in a week, hopefully you can get your crap together." Steve yells at her and leaves the apartment, leaving her in tears. Lying, being untrustworthy ruins her life and she can't seem to stop doing it.
She takes the long way to the studio, needing some of the fresh Seattle air to calm her down. She has to open the studio by herself today since Katie would be late, having a dentist's appointment and Casey had to do some work about payment for the performance hall. That was lucky, she really doesn't have the courage to look at him after all that happened yesterday.
When she gets to the studio, the door is slightly ajar. She takes out the hand gun that she keeps in her purse. And to her surprise, there in the shadows is James Barnes.
"Hey Tal" He says. Tears spring in her eyes as she runs into his arms.
"Where have you been? Steve's been looking for you." She tells him as he puts her down, instantly regretting bringing Steve up.
"I wanted to check on you and Nadia, but HYDRA was on my tail. I led them to some pretty far off places, you guys should be safe."
"Thanks."
Bucky takes a quick look at the sign in front of the building. "I love what you did with the place Tal, this has always been your dream."
Oh if only he knew how far away today had been from a dream
I've been having a lot of 503 errors so I'm sorry if the formatting or something is off on this. Please tell me if it is so I can go on and fix it.