When Remus came to his senses, he felt the downy sheets of a hospital wing bed beneath him. The light assaulting his closed eyelids meant the sun had risen. His bones ached like they'd been broken and fused back together. He would've much rather gone back to sleep to escape the pain.

That was all normal. What wasn't normal was the faint taste of iron that lingered in his mouth.

Horrible memories flooded back to him: the unbearable urge to chase, to bite, to kill...the dog's feeble whimper as the wolf's teeth tore at his leg...the panic he'd felt once he'd finished transforming...how he'd raced haphazardly through the tunnel while his battered body screamed at him to stop, only to collapse under the Willow once he'd seen that the wounded dog was gone...

Remus's eyes snapped open, and he jolted into a sitting position. The sudden movement caused a stab of pain so intense that he almost passed out. He squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to let the soothing darkness win. He couldn't afford to sleep any longer – not without knowing what happened.

Two warm hands gripped his shoulders and lowered him back into the pillows. "He's alright, Moony. Padfoot's alright."

Those were the words he needed to hear – but he had to be sure. When it felt safe to open his eyes again, he saw James staring down at him with knitted eyebrows. Then he turned his head, and his heart plummeted. Sirius was lying in the hospital bed next to his, either asleep or unconscious. His face, with its surprisingly serene expression, was all but untouched apart from a small scratch on his jaw. The rest of him hadn't made out so well. His right arm was wrapped in thick bandages, and green salve was plastered onto the jagged cuts along his chest, neck, and shoulders. A large purple bruise painted his left shoulder where the tree had struck him.

"He was awake a few hours ago," James filled in calmly. "I told Pomfrey that a stray dog did it. Seeing as he hasn't been infected, I think she bought it. She said he'll be fine. Most of the wounds won't even scar since he was transformed when he got them. She gave him a Sleeping Draught so he would heal faster."

Remus knew he should've been reassured, but he felt like he was hearing it all from underwater. The sickening guilt in his gut was almost more painful than the pounding in his head. He tried to focus on holding a conversation, but he wasn't even sure he wanted to know more. "Lily...?"

"She's fine. A little shaken, that's all," James replied, frowning uncertainly. "I haven't really had a chance to talk to her since last night when I left her at the castle. I made her promise not to tell anyone what happened until I could explain it to her, but..." He rubbed his eyes. Then he noticed Remus's anxious look and summoned a reassuring tone. "Don't worry about that. She won't say anything to anyone until she's heard me out. I know she won't. She may be more, er, rule-abiding than the lot of us, but she's not a rat."

Remus blinked and looked around again. "Peter's gone to get us breakfast," James told. "We figured you could use it when you woke up." Remus grimaced. James frowned knowingly. "Don't tell me you're not hungry. You're always hungry after moons. You need to eat, or you'll be passing out as soon as you try to stand."

Remus took a deep breath. The cold shakiness in his bones told him James was right, but he doubted he could eat anything with his stomach already full of guilt. Then, realizing something, he eyed James warily. "You brought Sirius here?"

"I came to the Willow as soon as Lily was safe. I managed to convince you to go off with Wormtail so I could transform and heal him a bit...but I figured it was better to let Pomfrey handle him."

James's voice was steady, but Remus heard the unspoken fear. It wasn't uncommon for the four of them to sustain minor injuries from full moons. Their healing magic had improved greatly in the past two years, which helped them avoid troublesome explanations at the hospital wing. If James had brought Sirius to Madam Pomfrey right away, he must have been worried.

Remus gathered some of the covers in his fists to keep his hands from shaking. He turned his head to look at Sirius lying peacefully in the bed next to his. The distress that the wolf had felt that night hadn't quite faded. I did this to him. He could've died, and it would've been my fault.

"Remus."

James's tone had turned strict. Remus closed his eyes, but he could still feel that sharp gaze digging into the side of his head.

"Cut it out, would you? Sirius knew the risk he was taking, transforming in front of you like that. It was a desperate move – and as long as were careful, we won't ever have to do it again. Besides, if this whole mess is anyone's fault, it's mine." Remus gazed uneasily at James as he ran a hand through his hair. "I was rushing out of the room, and I left the Map on my bed. That's the only reason Lily found us out there." James mustered a wry smile. "So, really, you're the least at fault. Sirius and I chose to do stupid things. You didn't choose to do anything."

"Except let you lot be around me when I'm most dangerous," Remus countered miserably.

James gave him that stubborn glare again. "We've been over this. It's perfectly safe as long as we stay together and transformed. We've followed those rules for the past two years, and we haven't had any real problems. Last night was the exception, and it just goes to show that the rules are there for a reason." He blinked, smirking slightly. "Wow. Never thought I'd be saying that phrase."

Remus didn't smile. "Padfoot could've died last night. Is it really worth the risk?"

Somberly, James lowered his voice. "Moony, before we became Animagi, you used to come back every month looking like Padfoot does now – sometimes worse. Who's to say you aren't going to die if we leave you locked up in the Shack?"

"The wolf wouldn't do enough damage to kill itself."

James crossed his arms, looking unconvinced. "What about that time you came back with a fractured skull? Or the multiple times when you lost so much blood that you were unconscious by the time Pomfrey got to you?" Remus winced but didn't respond. James's determined gaze didn't waver. "You were going mad in that Shack, Moony. It's not healthy. Werewolves aren't meant to be penned up like that."

"Werewolves also aren't meant to go to school," Remus pointed out quietly. "And being penned up is far better than being a danger to society." James scowled, but Remus continued firmly, "Besides, what should it matter if I die from this? It's my problem, Prongs – not yours or Padfoot's or Wormtail's. It's not worth you lot risking your lives to entertain me. I'm not..." Remus stopped himself when he noticed James's expression. His hazel eyes were burning defiantly. He almost looked enraged.

Remus swallowed. I'm not worth it, he wanted to say, but he knew that would only dig himself deeper.

His friends were too stubborn for their own good.

"Moony."

He and James flinched at the sound of the groggy voice. A bleary-eyed Sirius was gazing at Remus with furrowed eyebrows. "How's a bloke supposed to sleep with all this self-deprecating rubbish?"

James snickered. "Glad to see you're feeling like yourself, mate."

Remus couldn't share in his amusement. "How are you? How's your arm?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and deadpanned, "It tickles."

Remus winced. "Sorry."

"Oh, let it go, already," he ordered. "I should be thanking you. I hope scars at least a little." At Remus's stunned look, a roguish grin crept onto his face. "It's my wand arm, mate. Think about how cool that would look!"

James laughed, and Remus closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. "All of my friends are insane," he stated dryly. When he looked again, the two black-haired boys were grinning proudly at him. He couldn't help but smile, thinking he must have been the luckiest werewolf in the world.

At that moment, the door to the hospital wing creaked open. Remus lifted his head, expecting to see Peter's mousy brown hair. A flash of red made his stomach twist. Peter stepped into the hospital wing, followed closely by a curious Lily Evans. James froze, like he always did when Lily entered a room. A deer in the headlights, Remus thought. He would've smirked if he didn't suspect that James was unnerved for a different reason than usual.

"Hello," the redhead announced a bit timidly. Her eyes combed over Sirius's wounds and their uneasy expressions. Then she straightened up and put on a more stubborn face. Remus noticed that, like Peter, she was carrying a large tray of breakfast food. "I ran into Peter on his way from the Kitchens. He told me you were here, and he was struggling a bit, levitating both trays at once, so I figured I'd help out."

She said this all very briskly, like her words could cut through the tension in the room. Then she stared hesitantly at James, like she wasn't sure who she was looking at anymore. James opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped short. Conflicted emotions swam in his eyes. His distress was difficult for Remus to witness.

Sirius attempted to break the tension. "Brilliant! You brought pancakes!"

Lily smiled a little as she set the tray of food on the empty bed next to Sirius's. Peter followed suit, nervously eyeing James, who'd gone quiet.

"You're not so bad, Evans," Sirius decided cheerily, carefully pushing himself up to gaze at the stack of heavenly-smelling food.

Lily stuck up her chin. "I believe the proper response is 'thank you'."

At last, James found his voice. "Thanks, Lil, but you didn't have to do that. Wormtail could've—"

"I wanted to do it," she insisted. "I haven't seen you all day! And I assume you haven't eaten since last night." She hesitated, but she pressed on relentlessly, "You're going to be in one of those beds too, at this rate." She conjured up a few plates, piled one with food, and handed it to James. "Eat."

Judging by the look on James's face, Remus wasn't the only one who'd lost his appetite. Lily, every bit the mothering type, filled another plate with food and passed it to Sirius, who accepted it stiffly with his left hand. Remus marveled at her ability to stroll into this uncomfortable situation with grace – even though she knew by now that her boyfriend and his friends were hiding some huge secrets from her. For that matter, she probably had a pretty good idea of what those secrets were, at that point. Judging by her avoidance of the topic, she seemed to be willing to let those secrets churn below the surface, until someone decided to change that.

Remus knew that that someone would have to be him.

"Lily, would you like to stay for a while?" He spoke up in the mildest, smoothest voice he could manage. "I can't imagine sending you off in a rush when you haven't seen James since last night."

Lily's bright green eyes lingered on him in surprise. At first, there was a hint of discomfort in her gaze, but then she smiled, perhaps understanding the significance of the gesture. "I would love to." Her smile flickered a little when she turned to James, but her eyes were as stubborn as ever.

Remembering that same look in a pair of hazel eyes, Remus relaxed a little. She and James may have seemed like opposites, but they were strikingly alike where it counted. That was as good a reason as any to trust Lily, Remus figured. He even suspected that she might not hate him afterwards.

Clearly startled, James looked to Remus like he was wondering if he'd understood him correctly. Remus nodded, and relief flashed across James's face. He took a deep breath and suggested to Lily, "Why don't you sit down, love? I think I owe you an explanation."

That night, Sirius woke to a muffled voice saying his name. He started to roll over to his side, winced, and then pushed himself up with his other arm. He had healed enough for Madam Pomfrey to release him to his bedroom to sleep, but she'd instructed him to check in with her after twenty-four hours so she could monitor the bite wound. Even with the tight bandages and healing salve, putting any kind of pressure on his arm hurt – quite a bit more than he let on to Moony.

He pulled the curtains open around his bed. It was late (or early morning, rather) and their bedroom was dark apart from a beam of moonlight seeping through the window. In the silvery light, Sirius could see a figure crouching by Remus's bed. "Prongs?"

When he turned his head, his glasses glinted in the moonlight. His dark hair was even spikier than usual. "Paddy," James greeted wearily.

"Nightmares again?"

James nodded. "Worse than usual."

Peter snored obliviously as Sirius slid out of bed and crept over to James, joining him in the vigil at Remus's bedside. Their friend was curled up stiffly on his side with his brows furrowed and his jaw locked. His face was twitching like he was trapped in a vivid dream, and the occasional shiver racked his body. One hand was strangling a clump of bedsheets, while the other held onto James's with a vengeance.

"He was making a fist before," James explained. "It looked like he was drawing blood with his nails. I tried to get him to stop, and, well..." He smiled sheepishly, gesturing with his trapped hand. "Now he won't let go." His smile faded as he looked at Remus again. "I'm not even sure if it's helping. I tried waking him, but..."

James winced as another tremendous shudder traveled through Remus's thin frame, making his tighten his grip. A whimper escaped his lips: "No, Padfoot...don't..."

Sirius felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise. Now he understood why he'd woken up to the sound of his name. Seeing Remus white-faced and trembling, he was hit with a stab of regret.

"Next time, promise me you'll use magic," Remus had begged him in the hospital wing. "I don't care if you hurt me. If anything ever happened to any of you because of me, I would never forgive myself."

Sirius thought Remus had been overreacting, at least a little. Now he was starting to wonder just how much of a grudge his friend could hold against himself for actions that were beyond his control. He took a deep breath, thinking of how the wolf had reacted when the dog had been hurt. "I think I know how to calm him down," he murmured. He started to climb into Remus's bed. Then he narrowed his eyes at James. "Make any smart comments, and I'll tell Lily that you and I hold hands when no one's looking."

James quirked an eyebrow and smiled wryly, but that didn't bother Sirius. He cared a lot more about helping Remus than dealing with tomorrow morning's inevitable jokes. He carefully crawled up next to Remus and transformed. The black dog lied down next to his rigid friend, overtop of the arm that was currently connected to James. Padfoot could feel the clamminess of his skin through his pajamas and could hear his shallow breathing. He pressed close to him and let out a short whine: I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm worried about you.

After a moment, the hand that had been clinging to James's came to rest on Padfoot instead. The black dog bared his teeth as he nearly lost a clump of fur on his shoulder blade. Then Remus's grip loosened, and he buried his face in the dog's shaggy fur. Miraculously, his pulse began to slow.

James stood up and smiled at them, much less teasingly than Padfoot had expected. "Good dog," he approved.

Padfoot huffed a whisper of a bark – something between exasperation and thanks.

"You're staying there tonight?" James checked.

Another soft bark. "Probably. I can't leave very easily if he's holding on."

James smirked. Padfoot wondered how well the bespectacled boy could understand him. He wouldn't have been surprised if he'd gotten the exact message. "Alright, then. You want me to close the curtains?"

The dog twitched an ear and shook his head slightly.

"Right. Rem might take that the wrong way." Padfoot rolled his eyes, and James chucked. "Good night, Paddy." He flexed his freed hand. "And thanks."

Padfoot thought he might've had trouble falling asleep in a bed that wasn't his own. As it turned out, convincing himself to sleep as a dog wasn't difficult. Listening to Remus's slowed breathing, he drifted off in no time at all.

Remus woke slowly that morning, floating out of blissful darkness. His body still ached from last night, but the pain was muted now. He felt warm – unusually so, this close to the full moon – and relatively content with the world.

He would've gladly slipped back into sleep if not for the uncomfortable tingling in his arm. A heavy, furry mass was pinning it down, and he'd lost almost all feeling in it. Then he recognized the so-called furry mass, and he felt confused. He could tell it was Padfoot before he'd even opened his eyes, with his woodsy scent, the coarseness of his fur, and the rhythm of his breathing. It wasn't unusual for Padfoot or Prongs to be so close to him – they often stayed with him during transformations.

But Remus wasn't the wolf – this wasn't the full moon – and the soft sheets underneath him certainly didn't belong to the Shrieking Shack.

Slowly, he pulled away from the warm fur and opened his eyes. He was in his bedroom, with Padfoot sleeping soundly in his bed next to him. James was walking around and stretching like he'd just woken up. He noticed Remus watching him in bewilderment, and a strange smile crept onto his face. He held his finger to his lips in a shushing gesture.

Still too groggy to understand what was so funny, Remus gently extricated his arm – and Padfoot stirred. The dog stretched and gave a great yawn, curling his tongue around the air. Then he turned his head and almost hit Remus with his snout. The dog snorted in surprise and tumbled clumsily off the bed with a yelp. A few beds away, a startled Peter surged out of his covers.

James burst out laughing, and Remus finally understood. He supposed he mentally separated his friends with the animals they became, since he usually only saw them as animals when he himself was one. (And of course, he separated himself from that as much as possible.) Cuddling up next to Padfoot was one thing, but cuddling up next to Sirius...

Flustered, Remus pushed himself up so he was sitting against his headboard. Peter was looking around in a wide-eyed daze. "What happened? I thought I heard Padfoot."

A disgruntled growl rose from the floor. Sirius transformed, lying flat on his back and gritting his teeth. James's amusement faded instantly. "You landed on your arm, didn't you?" Sirius grunted, and he frowned. "Come on. Your bandages look like they could use a changing. I'm taking you to Pomfrey."

Sirius scowled, but James's phrasing left no room for argument. He sighed and allowed James to help him to his feet. Remus jumped out of bed, pushing down a fresh wave of guilt. "I can take him. Weren't you going to meet with Lily this morning?"

James frowned. "Well, yeah, but..."

"Then let me handle this."

As James considered it, Sirius interjected, "I can still walk, mates."

James's expression hardened. "Until you collapse on your way down the stairs. I can see you shaking."

"I've got him," Remus assured, and James nodded.

On the way to the hospital wing, Remus spoke up in a mild tone, "Care to tell me why you were in my bed this morning?"

Sirius seemed uneasy. "You were having a nightmare," he responded. He was trying to sound neutral, but Remus could hear the hint of defensiveness in his tone – and a much larger note of frustration.

"Oh." Remus felt a cold trickle down his spine. That wasn't the answer he'd expected at all. He'd assumed it was some kind of prank. After his initial confusion, it didn't really bother him that Padfoot had been sleeping next to him. What bothered him much more was that Sirius now sounded angry with him. He tried to translate that. Is he mad because of my reaction?

"I don't think any worse of you for it," he tried. "In any case, I don't even remember the nightmare, so it must have worked." He smiled tentatively. "But I don't think we should make a habit of it."

Sirius smirked begrudgingly at the joke. Then he muttered, "Yeah, well, we wouldn't have to, if you'd stop worrying so much." Remus blinked at him in confusion, and his expression fell. "You, er...you kept saying my name in your sleep."

"Oh," Remus said again. He felt another chill as a snapshot of the full moon night flashed into his mind's eye: Sirius injured on the ground, the wolf running toward him...

He took a deep breath and banished that train of thought. Sirius was right in front of him. He was fine...mostly.

His friend was scowling at him like he was reading his mind. "Look, I'm sorry I transformed and pulled that stunt. I know it wasn't safe. That's why it's not going to happen again. Next time, I'll use magic if I have to. I'll be more careful." His gray eyes became determined. "So, you can stop worrying about me – about any of us. We know what we're doing. We'll be fine."

Remus nodded. James had told him the same thing yesterday. Objectively, he knew they were right. They'd had many nights with no mistakes. But now their record was tarnished – and objective thinking didn't make it any easier to forget the yelp of pain from Padfoot, or the overwhelming scent – and taste – of blood. With great effort, he pushed the thoughts away and tried for lightheartedness.

"If the alternative is sharing my bed with you every night, I think I can manage not to worry."

Sirius looked relieved. "Good." His lips split into a crooked grin. "And trust me, Moony, if I had a list of people that I'd like to share a bed with, you'd be below most of the girls in this school."

"Most of them?"

"I reckon a few of the ones in Slytherin would try to kill me," he explained, "And you rank above the first, second, and third years, obviously – that would be weird. And then there's Lily – that's another issue."

Remus grinned wryly. "I see you've thought a lot about this."

Sirius shoved him with his good arm. "Only just now, you prat."

Remus chuckled. "Well, I'm perfectly fine not being on the top of that list." He hesitated awkwardly and then charged forward anyway. "But, I appreciate you doing that for me. It helped."

Sirius's genuine smile turned mischievous. "Don't get used to it. I can't cuddle with you all the time."

Remus cringed. "Please don't go around saying that. There are already enough rumors about me."

"You're already an Astronomy-obsessed vampire with a misbehaving pet rabbit. Why not add 'cuddles with blokes' to the list?"

"Do you want me to mess up your other arm?"

Sirius laughed. "You're not still mad about the vampire thing, are you?"

"I should've let James deal with you," Remus muttered, fighting a smile.

"But what would you do without good old Padfoot?"

"Sleep more, for one," Remus claimed, but the warmth in his heart won over his expression.

If he was being totally honest, he would've answered that question a lot differently.