Chapter 8.
As always, let me know what you think if the inkling strikes you. I may be the writer, but I like to have an open dialogue with my readers! Otherwise, cheers and enjoy!
Edit on January 7th, 2015.
Torian woke to the sounds of birds singing to each other and the smell of food. Yesterday's meal had been good, Torian had never had freshly crushed peppercorns before and he learned to love it after the third bite. But today's meal smelled of heketles and that brought back memories of home. When he opened his eyes he felt disorientated. His half-conscious mind was conjuring up long forgotten images of a half underground home on a planet called Geonosis. He felt confused, he was not five years old and his mother was long gone. He sat up slowly, his muscles sore from yesterday's strain and that was unusual. Raidre added the Mandalorian spice to the morning's kill.
"It's the kolto, so don't look so perplexed."
Her words had the opposite effect and that drew a smile from her. She finished spicing the food and put the lid back on the small skillet. That's when Torian noticed that they were a member short.
"Where's Mako?"
"Sent her home, she won't be good for the next part of the hunt. " Raidre glanced at Torian before sitting next to him. "That and I thought you might appreciate the privacy."
Guilt kept Torian from looking at her. "Thanks."
"So, yea. You're sore because of the kolto. Accelerated healing hurts you know."
Ah, that did make sense. Torian was not looking forward to getting an idea of just how badly his mid-section was feeling.
They sat in silence, Raidre sat next to him, but she gave him his space, an eye on the food. Torian watched her with his peripheral vision and realized that she was out of her armour. As hurt and disoriented as he felt, his curiosity got the better of him, so he indulged in it. He was shocked to see how normal she was underneath all the armour plating and missiles. She was actually half his size, barely above 5'9" and could not have weighed more than 160 lbs. She was all muscles and gaunt in a typical warrior fashion. Raidre was still all woman, so she had padding where it counted, but her arms and legs were all skin, muscle and bone. She was curvy because of genetics, not because of her eating habits.
He found that he was thankful for that, he happened to like women to have a bit of curve. It showed in the way her cloths hung on her, or at least her shirt did. Those pants were far too distracting with how tight they were. Torian cleared his throat.
"Appreciate that."
Raidre nodded. "I figured you would. I know your Clan's honour means a lot, you don't need an audience."
Raidre got up and checked the food, the smell drew a gurgle from his stomach and sigh from his lips. Of course, she never missed a thing.
"You sure know how to make a girl feel appreciated."
Torian blushed but took the plate she handed him. "Thanks."
He even managed not to stare at her ass, was she aware of how she affected him? Did she do it on purpose? She sat back down and they ate, the heketles burned his sinuses in a familiar way, he groaned with satisfaction. Raidre laughed.
"Gar guur'skraan?(1)"
Torian blushed profusely and Raidre just nudged his shoulder. "Hey! Ease up, I'd be just like you if I were stuck eating ration packs for a couple of weeks. Not judging, just pleased, ok?"
He said nothing, nodded and then concentrated on his food. Raidre ate very little, which worried him a bit, she let him have three quarters of their meal and it was not all that much to start with. He was about to bring it up when she handed him the canteen, and Torian was distracted by his sudden need to ingest an entire ocean. Raidre watched him drink, legs stretched out in front of her, leaning back on her straight arms, elbows locked.
"Torian?"
He looked up after he finished the canteen. "Yes."
"No heroics today, okay? Remember your survival instincts."
Torian frowned. "Never meant to be a burden."
In hindsight, her reaction was hilarious. She choked on something, since she was not eating or drinking that left nothing but her saliva, which made her cough and sputter. She instantly pulled her legs in and brought her arms to her chest to try and dislodge what was blocking her airways. Torian moved in to try and help, perform the Heimlich if he had to and then she just punched him on his shoulder hard. She glared at him.
"You KNOW that's not how I meant it, jerk!"
Torian was taken aback. He had no idea how to gauge her, except that a part of him that never had a chance to express itself was begging for the opportunity now. She looked so distraught and conflicted, he could not help himself.
"Aw, copikla(2), you going soft?"
The silence was glacial, he knew he was going to get it, but the look on her face right then was totally worth it. As predicted, she erupted. She jumped on him and tried to punch him, Torian laughed and caught her.
Raidre was pissed. Soft? He thought she was going SOFT?! She would show him soft alright. But then he laughed. He had such a good laugh, deep, rich and unassuming. He really had no idea just how handsome and charming he was? Her mind kept using the word 'hawt', but that was childish and inaccurate. It dawned on her that he was teasing her. Torian could 'tease'?
What?
This solemn and serious boy, she really needed to stop thinking of him as a boy, had a sense of humour?!
No, seriously, she needed to stop thinking of him as a boy!
Never underestimate a Mandalorian… Especially when he's bigger than you. He over-powered her in one fluid motion. She whistled.
"Sweet moves."
Torian grinned. "Call me a natural."
Raidre grinned. "You're a natural. But I won't go easy on you just 'cause you're sore from you stunt yesterday."
She kneed him in the abdomen and it knocked the breath out of him. He lost his grip on her hand and she was on him. He wasn't sure how she did it, because he was struggling to re-learn how to breathe, but when he could focus he was on his face and his right arm was locked to his spine. Torian coughed once.
"Guess I earned that."
"Am I still soft?"
Torian grinned as he flexed his free hand. He formed a fist. "Maybe."
He bucked once, which knocked her off balance. He took advantage and pulled on her left leg, which effectively loosened her grip on his locked right arm and he was out. They both took a step back from each other and stared at each other, ready for round too.
Torian felt a grin stretch the scars on his cheeks. "You may be a pit fighter, but you won't win this one."
Raidre snorted. "So cocky, you look demented when you grin, by the way. Totally unnatural on that serious face-"
She lunged mid-sentence and he managed to back away without taking more than a scrap to his fist. As he side-stepped away from her lunging-punch. Raidre's free right leg twirled and caught him in the midsection again. Torian dropped as he took the full force of her kick unprepared. This girl could change direction mid-motion. That was pretty awesome, but damn. She kicked harder than Corridan!
Torian laughed as she stood in front of him. "Mean kick."
He kicked her feet out from under her and locked both her arms behind her back. He sat on the small of her back to keep her from bucking. The element of surprise was always one of the best to have on your side in a fist fight.
Torian sighed. "Yep, soft."
He felt her body tremble from laughter. "You're a shabuir(3)."
Torian sighed. "How unlady-like."
Raidre laughed. Torian got closer to hear her better. "Who ever said I was a lady?"
Her head hit his- hard. Torian tasted blood. He realised too late that he had lost her grip on her wrists too late. She pushed against his weight and he fell back like a sack of potatoes as she reversed the whole situation on him in half a second. He felt a little dizzy by her Keldabe kiss(4), but she didn't put him on his stomach, she sat on it instead. Raidre stared down at him, her chin resting in her right palm as she waited for his head to work again. Torian looked up at her once he could see straight.
"Call it a draw?"
Raidre looked up to her right, as if thinking about it. "Humm… I'm going to have to be mean to you, aren't I?"
Torian feigned feeling hurt. "Aww, you don't mean that."
"I don't?"
She closed the gap between them and the mood changed entirely. What had been cocky and fun became tense and charged. He tasted blood, but wanted to taste her instead. The pull was like gravity and by the look she was giving him, she wasn't immune to it either. He stared at those big eyes of her and felt his body move to close the gap between their faces. Her lips were heart shaped and full. They were the shade of Geonosian rose and they were calling to him. His body reacted to hers. She was practically lying on top of him now, her heat radiating onto him.
Torian, think about this. His mind begged him.
He admired her, he even kind of looked up and idolized her. This was a bad idea-
Her body moulded to his, all her curves filled all his crevices and all rational though vacated his mind as need took over.
When was the last time he'd been this close to a woman?
When had he ever been this attracted to a woman before?
His arms enveloped her and his lips grazed her. Her fingers gripped his hair and pulled. He groaned out of satisfaction, and he kissed her hot and open mouthed.
Time stopped.
There was nothing but how good she tasted and how good she felt in his arms. He'd never had a kiss like this before. His whole body was engaged and responded and his heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to explode. He felt intoxicated by her smell. One of his arms pinned her to him while the other got lost in her short mess of hair. Their tongues touched and he was jarred a moment to taste metal. He pulled back.
"What is that?"
Raidre blushed and pushed away from him to stand. Torian felt bereft and hurt.
Oh. So she did care that he was arue'tal(5). He took a deep breath to steady himself.
"I'm sorry. That was inappropriate."
Torian snorted. "Won't happen again."
Raidre stared at him, now also feeling hurt and confused. She wasn't blind, she had offended him somehow.
"What?"
She had been in the process of puttering to mask her embarrassment but that wasn't going to work. She had never meant to hurt his feelings. Wow, she had mucked this up real good! He ignored her so she walked back to him and grabbed his shoulder and turned him around.
"Spit it out."
Torian's expression was placid but she could see the contained rage. For a moment she worried. She didn't know him that well and had no idea what had set him off. Would she have to fight him for real? Because what she had gleaned from their play fighting just now was that he was more than her equal in sparring. If she had to fight him, she didn't know for sure she would win.
Torian stared at Raidre, feeling betrayed and hurt. He reminded himself this was why he didn't let himself feel.
"Sorry, I'll keep my arue'tal(6) hands to myself."
Raidre froze. He thought she was embarrassed about his lineage?! She couldn't help herself, she laughed out loud. Torian froze, her reaction made him want to punch things, but it also made no sense.
"What's so funny?"
Raidre tried to catch her breath. "Dude, I didn't give bantha's turd who your dad was! "
It was Torian's turn to freeze. "Then what is it?"
Raidre smiled and Torain felt the warmth and sincerity. It soothed him and he felt embarrassed for having reacted as he did. For having reacted at all. She was driving him crazy and making him act irrationally. This was really dangerous in the midst of a job!
The job. Jicoln. Gosh he was such a di'kut(7). He slapped his palm to his forehead and sighed.
"Wow, I'm an idiot. Sorry."
Raidre frowned. "Just so we are clear. I felt it was inappropriate for 3 reasons."
Torian felt a bit panicked. She had three reasons?!
"One, I don't know how old you are, but I'm pushing thirty-"
Torian shook his head. "There is no way."
Raidre ignored him. "Two, I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. How long have you been out here? When did you last have a girl flirt with you? I feel like if you had a choice to pick from you wouldn'y pick me-"
"Now I know you're nuts-"
Raidre ignored him and continued. "Third, job. Jicoln ain't going to catch himself."
That was pretty final and he nodded and they both went to work in picking up their camp and gearing up. Once everything was packed and ready, they moved on in silence. The tension was heavy between them. Torian sighed and took the Reek(8) by the horns.
"Thanks for being direct before. Appreciate it."
Raidre nodded. "I don't want a misunderstanding between us. I don't have a dog in the fight between our fathers."
Torian nodded. "Noted."
They walked in silence a bit longer. He wanted to tell her more. But he wasn't as brave as her. He sighed and let his head fall as he let her get a couple of steps ahead. Raidre noticed and looked back.
"You okay?"
Torian nodded. "Have things to say, not the time or place."
A coy smile bloomed on her face. "We'll talk after the job then."
Torian's face lit up, he dared the beginnings of a smile. "Would like that."
Raidre's eyes joined her lips to complete her smile. "So let's get this over with then!"
They continued in silence and with renewed focus on the task at hand. Torian did his best to bring up the rear but those kriffing(9) pants were going to be the end of him. He kept his mind on the tracks as much as he could, but it was hard for his mind not to drift back to their morning. He needed to convince her that she had no reason to feel uncomfortable. His age would not mean he wouldn't be serious about her. He only wanted her if she was serious about him too. But she was right about him being physically famished. He hadn't been with a woman in a long time and it made his body react to hers instantly. But she was wrong, even if women were lining up, he'd only want her. He couldn't explain it, but their chemistry was volatile, like plasma heated to super high temperatures, if left alone it would burn them both. He'd take the time to tame it and to get to know her.
Torian came across a trail. "The traitor sacrificed his stockpile to escape. He'll be scavenging now." He looked at her as he stood up from the tracks they had been following for a while. "Most likely, he'll steal from nearby outposts."
Raidre frowned. "This is a battle field, who knows how many outposts have been thrown up and torn down around here?"
Torian shrugged. "We'll make do. We should update our tactical maps at an Imperial outpost. Then search for signs of the traitor at any outposts nearby."
Raidre nodded. "Yes, of course."
They moved quickly and did just that, as Torian was going through the maps at an outpost, Raidre spotted some blood on the ground. Not unusual on Taris with its rakghoul problems, but it happened to be right next to a pile of ammunition shells, the case open with some missing. Torian looked at her as she checked it out.
"Someone ransacked the stores here. Found a trail leading off. This way."
Raidre nodded and followed, she was starting to realize that this guy had a gift for tracking.
"You're really good at this."
A smile touched his lips. "Call me a natural. "
Raidre smiled back. "Sure, you're a natural."
He grinned. He really appreciate that she'd play along with him. They followed the trail for some time, it broke off and started it up again at awkward intervals, but it lead clearly to the next out post nearby. Once there, Raidre found that their tent crates were short a few numbers, once again, blood could be found where the crate used to be. Torian only glanced at it once, it all fit together.
"It's heading this way."
Raidre looked up and followed him, a question nagging at her. Curiosity killed the Nexu, satisfaction however did bring it back.
"What was life like, growing up for you?"
The question seemed to catch him off guard. "Growing up as an arue'tal(10) means you get your needs met and not much else."
"But I thought education is important in Mandalorian culture."
He did that weird little frown again, was that his surprised expression, he had given her that same look when she had first spoken to him in her limited Mando'a(11).
"You know the Resol'nare(12)?"
Raidre shrugged a bit abashed by his sudden focus on her, he could be so intense sometimes.
"Of it, more like."
Torian shrugged, determined to rectify that. She had good base and he would make sure she would get the rest of it once all this was done. She would not be one of the dar'manda(13), she deserved better than that. He nodded and they happened on a clearing which showed them a new outpost. They looked around and found that the food stores had been the ones that the traitor had stolen from this time. Raidre checked the floor where the blood was fresher than before while Torian deciphered the tracks.
"Hold…" He said. "He's changed direction."
She followed him again and they went back into the thick woods, but the next outpost was within sight.
"So, they weren't all that nice to you."
It was a statement, not a question. Torian sighed. "Didn't get any birthday cake. Made me smarter and harder, so I thank them for it."
Raidre nodded, but she felt sad for him. She did not pity him, he was far above that in her esteem, but she caught herself now wanting to know when his birthday was so she could celebrate it with him and so it would never be missed again.
What was happening to her? Her throat constricted in panic as she realized what was happening here. No, no, no. No kriffing(14) way. Too much, way too fast! She resolved not to ask any more questions.
They arrived at the next out post, it was missing some of its missile stockpiles. Raidre sighed, this was not going to be an easy fight, Jicoln had amassed a modest but versatile collection of arms to help him, and it reminded Raidre of her own gear. Torian came up behind her all quiet and focused intensity.
"He's relaxing his step, must be getting close to home ground."
They followed the tracks as they lead away from any known outposts on their map and deeper into wilderness.
"My turn."
Raidre looked at him confused. "What's up?"
"Why are you here?" he asked. "What's your motivation?"
They walked in silence for some time as she pondered his question, he was right, she had asked him something personal and it was only fair that he got to as well.
"I don't have a short answer."
Torian shrugged. "We've got time."
Raidre swallowed. "Okay, I had a pretty normal life until eight years ago. I was always good at a bunch of things, but never the best, it killed my self-esteem. But I was also looking for someone. My parents were murdered by a contract killer and I wanted to know who and why. Eight years ago I found my answers, and realised there was something I was better at than anyone else."
"Bounty hunting?"
Raidre nodded. "I kissed my normal and adjusted life good bye and never looked back, and now I think I'm hot poodoo."
She flexed her biceps at him and he laughed that genuine sexy laugh that she was growing attached to at an alarming rate. She blushed and looked away, he sobered up as they walked into a clearing. Torian was all focused and intense again, scanning the area. It did not bode well, it was a small closed off area, with a tent to the far side of it. Torian leaned on his right knee as he got a closer look at the tracks, frowning.
"The trail doubles back on itself…."
Raidre paced as he sat on his hunches, looking around at the tracks in the tall grass.
"Don't rush yourself. "Raidre said in hushed tones. "This isn't a race, yet."
He stood, sniffing the air, focused.
"He's close." Torian looked around and then behind Raidre, his eyes grew wide. "Down!"
Torian did not wait for her to react, he just shoved her out of the way and kept an eye from where the sniper had shot from. Jicoln jumped out of his nest and landed before Torian, advancing, closing in.
"You two are good… real good. Even Artus never gave me this much of a run."
Torian was all taught like metal bent to its breaking point. Raidre got up as fast as she could.
"His name is Mandalore."
Torian sounded like he was ready to end Jicoln then and there. Jicoln just frowned at him with condescension.
"I know what he calls himself, boy. I was there."
Raidre could feel the tension rising, almost ready to break in Torian. She put her hand up and in front of him, but not on him, that might just set him off right now.
"Torian, cool it. This isn't the time to lose your head."
The look on Jicoln's face broke, Raidre felt sad for both men. Jicoln was a remarkable warrior to have survived this place for so long, and denied his family, that must have been worse than death. But Torian as well had been denied so much because of his father's actions. The tragedy of it all was not lost on her, but she did not allow it to affect her. The job still needed to be done.
"Torian? No… You can't be?"
Raidre wondered if Jicoln regretted the seven blaster bolts he had shot into Torian's gut, nearly killing him. Jicoln holstered his blaster rifle, he seemed to age a decade, his voice almost frail now.
"Artus swore he'd slaughtered my boy at his mother's breast. He swore it when he left me here."
Torian could not meet his father's eyes filled with pain and disbelief. His jaw just got tighter, his features harder.
"Sometimes, I wish he had."
Jicoln and Raidre winced at those words. "It's really you… Artus knows how to put the crowning irony on a vendetta."
Raidre bristled at that. "Torian's doing this for himself."
Jicoln just shook his head. "But does he know why?"
Torian pulled his blaster from its holster that question eroding the last of his restraint. "You stripped our Clan of its honour."
Oh yea, he knew why.
"Today, I am taking it back."
The fighting erupted and Raidre had a difficult time finding her footing in it. She felt more like a spectator than a participant. She spent all her time healing Torian and making sure that he could take his Clan's honour back, offering solid support with missiles when the opportunity struck. She was impressed, Torian fought like he had never been injured, did he not feel any of the pain? Raidre had often thought her pain tolerance was high, but she could not have done what Torian did. All in all, it was short, to the point and anti-climactic. Raidre felt disappointed for Torian, but he was far too focused on what needed to be done. Jicoln crouched on the ground, holding a gaping wound and gasping. Raidre held her blaster trailed on him.
"Ah, ah… Just do it."
Raidre hesitated. This did not feel right. Torian pulled out his own blaster.
"Liser gar su jorhaa'ir haar joha, dar'manda? Ib'tuur gar dar'buir balyc(15)."
Jicoln's brain was having a hard time keeping up. It must have been years since he had heard his native tongue, and he had lost a fair amount of blood too.
"Me'ven? Ner… ner ad? Oyayc?(16) I have a last request, hunter. I want a moment to speak to my-my son."
Raidre looked at Torian, still tense but receptive. She holstered her blaster and looked back at Jicoln.
"I can spare a few minutes. I'll be watching."
Torian lowered his blaster as Raidre walked away. Before walking away, she heard Jicoln as he stood.
"You've got no business carrying your name like a mark of shame."
The two men stared off and began to talk, but Raidre was too far to hear and she liked it better that way. She could not claim to know Torian well, but she knew he appreciated his privacy. Raidre kept true to her word, she eyed Jicoln, but the man was honouring his word. He really just wanted to share something with his son. Raidre watched Torian's face the whole time. Torian was beyond the point where could be mollified, many years past that point. But he respected his father's wishes and listened. Raidre felt sad for them, were this another world with a different reality, things may have turned out differently for them. Torian beckoned for her to return and she did, catching the end of the story.
"I fought a righteous battle. You'll never get me to admit otherwise."
"I understand."
That caught her off guard. Before Raidre had the opportunity to register any of it Jicoln looked at her.
"Take my head to 'Mandalore' it you're gonna. I'm tired."
Raidre looked at Torian, he was calm now. "It's your call to make."
He never looked at her, his eyes on Jicoln. "I'm sorry."
Torian pulled his blaster out, levelled it on Jicoln. A certain peaceful expression blossomed on Jicoln's face.
"Gar taldin ni jaonyc, gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la(17)."
"I'll do our name proud."
Jicoln nodded and Torian shot him. It was a clean shot to the heart, he twisted in the air, but Jicoln was dead before he landed on the ground. Torian looked at his father for a time, then looked up at nothing in particular, taking a deep breath.
"That… wasn't what I expected."
Torian looked at Raidre a moment, then shook his head, as if shaking annoying thoughts from his mind.
"You look shook up: what'd he say to you?"
Torian looked down now, the weight of whichever emotion he was feeling crushing him.
"Nothing I didn't already know. Just differently told."
She nodded, feeling awkward.
"I want to be alone."
Raidre nodded and began to move away.
"It's been an honour."
Torian held a hand to his chest as he looked at her. She nodded and did the same, it felt like the appropriate thing to do.
"Likewise."
She left the area and him alone without another word, feeling bereft and sad for Torian. She had not understood all that was said between them, but enough of it to know that today was a hard day for him. Raidre gathered Jicoln's body in silence, leaving choice piece of armour behind for Torian to choose. She did not know if Torian had any wishes to honour his father's memory, but Raidre was determined to leave him the option. She vacated the premises glancing at Torian one last time, he looked lost, but that was not unexpected, how long had he been waiting and dreaming of today? Now he would have to consolidate the man he had become with the man he wanted to be.
NOTES:
1 This is a full sentence so it is hard to decipher individual words Gar is often used as you or you are, Guurmeans to like or to be fond of and Skraan means food or meal. The whole is a saying used to describe someone who enjoys their food with zeal, since Mandalorians are a warrior culture, food is not always readily available and thus is perhaps more appreciated than by other cultures, especially when you are often eating ration packs, which tend not to be tastey.
2Copikla means cute and adorable, used on babies and animals, never on women, unless you want to lose your head…
3 .Impolite, typically used to say 'ass' or 'jerk' or any insult really.
4 Mandalorian slang for head butt.
5 .Traitor's blood.
6 .Same as above annotation.
7 .Literally means idiot.
8 .The reek was a large thick-skinned, horned, bovine-esque quadruped, native to Ylesia. Subspecies could be found on Iridonia, Kashyyyk and Ithor. They could also be found in ranches on the Codian Moon, Tatooine, and Saleucami.
9Kriff is the Mando'a equivalent to the English word fuck.
10 Explained before, so I'll keep it short; traitor's blood.
11 How Mandalorians refer to their own language in their native tongue.
12 Six actions, the core of life in Mandalorian culture, will be covered in depth in a later chapter.
13 Explained it before, so I'll keep it short; Manda is the Mandalorian afterlife, of sorts, any word with dar before it means without or out of or to be the opposite of it, it's a suffix like that.
14 IBIDEM to note 4.
15 Mando'a is a lot like latin, words mean a couple of things and it's all about context: Can you still speak the language, dar'manda? Today you're also no longer a parent. A Note to keep in mind, the most shameful act that a Mandalorian can do is to divorce their parents which is essentially what Torian does in this part.
16Me'ven is an expression of bewilderment that roughly translates in to; huh? Or what? The rest means: My… my son? Alive? I guess he wasn't sure until this point.
17 Literal translation of this saying is: No one cares who your father was, only the father you'll be.