Thank you all for the continuous support! I love reading your thoughts and opinions.
Buckle up for more darkness from Edward's past.
The following day felt like a new start, as Bella opened her eyes. She was alone in Edward's big bed, tangled in the blanket.
One of her hands went between her legs, and she shuddered at how sensitive she still was. She couldn't believe the things her body was capable of doing.
There had been times last night, she had thought it would be too much, but she'd pushed away her fears.
Everything about the previous night had been more than she'd imagined this thing with Edward could be. When she had let go of her silly fears and decided to trust him, he'd brought her to unknown heights.
Slowly, she got out of the bed, going into the bathroom. She was sore all over, and her ass ached just a tad. Spanking had been a thing she'd dreaded, but it turned out that there was a link between Edward's palm covering her ass in his handprints to the coil in her stomach. She'd never been as turned on as when he'd spanked her – not in such a short amount of time.
Bella pulled on a pair of clean panties and went into Edward's closet to borrow one of his shirts. She had always liked that image of herself wearing a man's shirt, but there had never been a chance to do it before. Now, she had a boyfriend, and he had to share his shirts with her. She had yet to return the other shirts he'd let her borrow.
She padded out of his room, toward the front of the house.
Edward was wearing only a pair of sweatpants and a thin, sleeveless shirt. He had his back to the hallway, leaning over his laptop on the kitchen island. His phone was to his ear of what she could see.
Bella would have loved nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and kiss him good morning, but she knew he'd be upset at her for sneaking up on him. So, she walked around, stopping in his line of vision.
His green eyes lifted over the lid of the laptop. A smile appeared on his face. "One minute," he mouthed to her.
She nodded, turning to the coffee maker. There was the red mug, waiting for her on a heated pad. She poured liberal amounts of sugar in it, before ransacking the refrigerator for cream. With her coffee in hand, she went to sit on the couch.
Bella noticed her phone on the coffee table, and she had no idea how it got there.
"Your phone rang earlier. I'm surprised it didn't wake you," Edward explained, joining her.
"I don't even know when you woke up. I slept like the dead," she joked.
He pushed her hair away from her shoulder, kissing her neck. "Want to talk about last night?"
"It was definitely not what I expected," she answered truthfully.
"In a good way?"
"Definitely." She nodded, reached out to take his hand. "You really scared me when you said Yellow," she admitted in a small voice.
Edward chuckled. "I scared myself." He brought their joined hands to his mouth.
"So, I can call you Edward during a scene, but only if I'm coming…when I don't know my mind?"
"I know it sounds terrible, but we have to make a difference between play time and us."
"I like it when you call me Isabella," she confessed, squeezing his hands. She closed the gap between them, and Edward met her for a morning kiss. She pulled away sooner than she wanted, but she remembered his words from earlier. "You said my phone rang."
"Yes, it was Alice."
"Oh. What time is it, anyway?" Bella looked around, surprised not to see a clock.
"Close to noon. Believe me, I'd have returned to bed after telling Alice you'll call when you woke up, but then Emmett called me to help with a technical problem. They missed their connection plane in New York. I was on the phone with the airport earlier."
"Oh. That sucks."
"Yeah. I found them another plane to Maldives leaving in three hours. I guess, Rose will enjoy the time shopping." He shrugged.
"Poor Emmett," Bella mumbled. She reached out for her phone. "What did Alice want?"
"No clue. She is not speaking to me apparently."
"Because you acted like an ass to her."
His eyes narrowed minutely at her calling him names, and Bella hoped he'd allow her to speak her mind when they weren't playing. She'd put up a fight if he didn't let her talk freely.
"I thought it was the best way to approach the situation. I know how Jasper feels about babies," he explained. "I had no idea how he'd react."
"So, you decided to dominate him?" Bella pursed her lips. She was pleased that Edward wasn't mad for her arguing with him about this. "Besides, he didn't seem that repulsed at the idea of becoming a father from what I saw."
Edward looked away, taking a deep breath. Bella was surprised to see pain on his face.
"She was pregnant," Edward said in a soft voice. He cleared his throat, shaking his head. "I refused to think of the other life I'd killed for the longest time."
A knot in her throat choked Bella up. She stared at him in horror, barely grasping how deep Edward's wound over losing Angela was.
"I try not to think about this often. If I do, I'll likely end up in a padded room."
Bella hugged him without thinking. Edward stiffened, his breathing becoming labored. She was sure, his reaction wasn't due to his aversion to being touched, for once.
"Have you mourned him, too? Or…her? Did you know…" She stopped talking, aware how it might hurt him to think about it.
"We hadn't told anyone. She'd found out a week or so, before it happened. She wasn't even showing." His ragged breathing was a clear sign he was trying not to break down.
Bella hugged him tighter, rubbing a hand over his back as gently as possible. There would be too many triggers to make him pull away and close up, if she made a wrong move.
Bella tried to remember what Jasper used to tell her about allowing herself to grieve and feel the pain, because otherwise it would backfire at her during the worst times. It looked like Edward hadn't dealt well with his grieving. Bella could bet, he'd suffered in silence, like a dog, locked up in his house, keeping everyone away. He'd probably not even allowed Tanya and Felix near.
"I thought about the fetus only once." Bella winced at the word he'd used for the baby. "Let's say…I should be grateful for Tanya and Felix for keeping a close eye on me during those months of self-isolation."
Bella gasped, realizing what he'd implied. She felt tears slipping from her eyes. She felt helpless, not knowing what to do to make him feel better, to make him cope with the pain.
Edward pressed his cheek against her shoulder, and she felt it soak almost immediately. His shoulders shook, as he tried not to show he was crying.
Bella threaded her fingers through his hair, kissing his temple. "You're allowed to cry. Something as horrific as this affects you deeply."
"Why do you sound like Jasper?" he mumbled.
"Because it's something he used to tell me, when we covered the subject of my parents' deaths."
"I don't see you breaking down like a wimp."
Bella tilted his head, looking into his wet eyes. "You have no idea how many times I've cried myself to sleep in the first years. Even after that month of therapy with Jasper… Even now, sometimes, it hits me out of nowhere." She smoothed her thumb between his brows. "You heal in time, and you learn how to live with the pain."
"That's what I've been told."
"It's true. I didn't believe it, either." Bella remembered how Billy used to tell her that the pain would fade in time, but she had been wounded too deeply to believe it back then. She had not only lost her parents, but her brother had abandoned her when she'd needed him the most.
"You're so brave and so strong." Edward cupped her cheek.
"I'm not, but I try. Did you talk to Jasper about this?"
"I didn't talk to anyone, Bella."
"You can tell me. I promise to be a good listener. But I bet Jasper will be a better candidate at helping you."
Edward nodded. "I thought I could deal with this on my own."
"No one can," she whispered. "Especially, not something as traumatic as what you've been through."
Edward brushed a hand under his eyes. "You're too much, you know that?"
"I just care for you. I don't want to see you hurting." Bella figured it was too soon to admit how deep her feelings for him ran. She didn't want to scare him.
.
.
.
In the early evening, Bella's phone ringing disturbed their moment of peace. Bella had suggested they should watch a movie to keep their minds otherwise occupied. Edward hadn't pulled out of his funk, not completely. He lay with his head on her lap, his eyes on the projection on the wall, but Bella could tell he wasn't watching the movie.
She accepted Alice's call. "Hi, Alice."
"Bella! Don't tell me you just woke up!" She sounded outraged.
"Uh, I've been up for a while," she mumbled.
"Awesome. Edward forgot to tell you I called?"
"No. I forgot to call you back." Returning Alice's call had been at the bottom of her priority list.
"Well, did you forget I have something of yours?" she asked, teasingly.
Bella gasped, making Edward turn to look at her, concerned. "Harley," she moaned.
"Did you somehow forget about him?" Alice laughed.
"No." She refused to admit it out loud, but Bella had indeed not thought once of her poor dog. "I'm coming to get him."
"We don't mind keeping him, but he's been extra whinny. I guess he misses you."
"He's never been away from me," Bella said. "Is it okay if I come now?"
"Yes. We can have dinner together?" Alice suggested.
"Sure. See you soon." They hung up, and Bella met Edward's thoughtful eyes.
"Does he chew furniture?" Edward asked, frowning.
"Excuse me?"
"Your dog. Is he well-behaved?"
"You know he's pretty well trained. He hasn't pottied in the house since he's been six months old, and the last time he chewed my shoes it was in revenge for leaving him alone for over twelve hours."
"Dogs don't feel revenge," Edward retorted, amused. "Did you stay over at work or something? Twelve hours alone…"
Bella blushed, averting her eyes. "It happened one of those times when I went home with someone," she admitted in a small voice. "Anyway, I returned at, like, nine the next morning. There he was on the couch, chewing through my third pair of shoes."
Edward laughed heartily. "That's next level of jealousy."
"It's revenge. Harley is evil. All my nice shoes have personally offended him, somehow."
"Let's go get him, before he decides to chew on Alice's shoes. She might cook him for dinner if that happens."
Bella shuddered. "Uh, she invited us to stay for dinner."
Edward stood up, stretching. His shirt rode up, showing a silver of skin and a glimpse of his happy trail. "If Alice behaves, sure. We're staying."
As they got dressed, Bella paused while buttoning her jean shorts. "Do I have to act different around them?"
"Be yourself," he said softly, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"But, I know how Alice has to respect you," she protested. "Should I be careful what I say to Jasper?"
Edward lifted her up and Bella wrapped her legs around him by instinct. He carried her to the vanity desk in the walk-in closet. Once she was seated there, Edward cupped her cheeks, pressing his forehead against hers.
"That's one of his rules. It used to be one of my rules, too."
"Not anymore?"
"No. I want you to be yourself when we're not playing." His fingers knotted in her hair, as his lips descended for a heated kiss.
"We're going to be late."
Edward pulled her shorts and panties down her legs. "Do I look like I care?" He ran his hands over her thighs. "Don't move." He hurried out of the closet
Bella felt awfully undressed in only a tank top sitting on the desk. Edward returned with a condom foil, smirking. He unzipped his chinos on the way to her, sheathing his erection in the rubber.
The coil in Bella's stomach tightened as she stared at the confidence Edward showed in his every step. He stopped between her open legs, pushing two fingers deep into her wetness.
"So ready for me," he murmured.
Bella couldn't help but moan in agreement. Edward kissed the column of her neck, as he pushed inside her.
"Can I touch you?" she gasped, her hands itching to touch his skin.
"Yes," he agreed against her neck.
Bella's fingers dug into his biceps when he started using a punishing rhythm. As his hands travelled down her back to squeeze her ass, Bella splayed her fingers over his back. Edward hadn't put a shirt on, yet. She could feel the thin scars under her touch, but she focused on the pleasure he brought her.
She threw her head back, moaning loudly when he found the right spot inside her. Edward claimed her lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing her cries of pleasure. He lifted one of her legs, bringing it on his shoulder. The change of angle made her convulse as her skin began to tingle. She was close, but she'd learned that if she held her release, it would feel so much better.
Edward brushed his thumb over one of her nipples, moving his hips hard and fast against her. Suddenly, he tensed up, gasping loudly. "Fuck," he spat, stilling his movements deep inside her. It was all it took for Bella to explode, making him curse louder. His whole body sagged against her, his ragged breath covering her shoulder.
Bella brushed the sweaty hair away from his eyes, smiling. "I think we need a shower."
"When I locate my legs, I'll let you know."
She giggled. "I can be patient."
"You're a minx," he mumbled against her neck, kissing wherever he could reach. "I hadn't been taken by surprise by my own release in years. I always time it perfectly."
"You can't have control over everything," she teased.
Edward hoisted her up, throwing her over his shoulder. He carried her into the bathroom, chuckling when Bella complained loudly.
Apparently, she had to get used to be carried caveman style by Edward.
Now with this final part of the accident in the open, Edward is ready to start healing. More on that in the upcoming chapters.
PS: I started a new short story which is an alternative ending for New Moon. It's called Lost Without Each Other. Check it out, if it's something you enjoy!