Chapter 53

Cheers and enjoy. Last edited on August 25th, 2017.

Two weeks later, Raidre got back from the Zale Barrows job just as the MRI results came in. To everyone's shock the stims had not only worked, but had healed some of the damage on his right side as well. Torian would make a full recovery and then some. Mako made sure that when Raidre got back, only Torian was there to greet her.

"Hello?" called Raidre as she got on the Mantis.

"In the galley!" came Torian's voice.

Raidre blinked, shook her head and began to take off her kit. "Be right there, gonna take the kit off."

"Okay." called back Torian.

Raidre walked into the galley in just her grey kute to see Torian walking around with a crutch making her tea. She gasped as she saw him standing with nothing but a crutch to help him. He hands covered her mouth as she stared at him eyes wide open. Torian turned around and held a cup with the tea ready. He nodded and held it out to her. Raidre continued to look at him wide eyed. She approached him and he jaw became slack as she took in his countenance.

Torian had lost so much weight in the Kolto Tank. He had seemed a shadow of his former self. But he had begun to pack muscle back on with Kevain's help and physiotherapy. His skin had begun to take up more color too as he spent more time outside of his room. He was still struggling with coordinating his left side and so he had not shaved or cut his hair. He looked almost like a brunette as his hair darkened with length and his beard had shades of red mixed in with the blonde, he was looking scruffy.

Raidre just kept starring, Torian looked down at the mug. "Don't want tea?"

Raidre blinked and looked at the mug. "Oh, no, thank you! I was just surprised. You're walking!"

Torian nodded. "Hot, wanna take it?"

Raidre laughed from nerves. "Oh, sorry!" She took the mug from his hands and placed it on the table as she sucked in a sudden breath. "Wow, krif, it really is hot."

She looked back at him and he looked at her. "You're looking a lot better."

Torian nodded. "Feeling better, too."

Raidre nodded, but Torian could see how the edges of her features were strained. He smiled but could feel her unease. He grabbed her with his free arm to pull her in. At first, surprise made her stiff, but then her arms came around his waist. Her face was pressed against his chest, she inhaled deeply then exhaled a shaking breath. They hugged for some time.

"Torian?" Raidre spoke first.

Torian had been rubbing her back, he looked down at her at the sound of his name. "Hmm?"

Raidre looked up. Her blue eyes shone but remained clear. "I'm sorry, I'm a total shabuir and I got us into this mess."

Torian nodded. "Yep."

Raidre put her face back into his chest. Torian continued to rub her back, she cried a little and he rubbed her scalp. Once she was calm, he nudged her. Raidre looked up.

"Done blaming yourself?"

Raidre blinked. "Wait, what?"

Torian took her cheek in his free hand. "Are you done blaming yourself now?"

Raidre blinked and Torian continued to rub her cheek. He smiled and gestured his crutch to the main area. "Come, let's sit. Better, but get tired fast."

"Oh, okay, of course." Raidre began to walk to the couch, rubbing her eyes.

Torian hung back. Raidre turned around and quirked a brow at him. Torian gestured to the table where Raidre had placed the mug of tea. "Tea will help you sleep later."

Raidre scratched her head. "Wow… Scattered."

Torian smiled. "Frazzled."

Raidre licked her lips, nodded and grabbed the mug. Torian followed her to the main area and there they sat on the couch. Raidre watched as he moved around freely and placed his crutch where he would have easy access to it later. He looked at her as she sipped her tea.

"How was the hunt?"

Raidre shrugged. "Took forever, really frustrating."

"Why?" Torian asked.

Raidre sighed. "I didn't have my hunting partner."

Torian blushed a bit and nodded. "Cute."

"Argh! Not this again, I am being honest."

Torian kept smiling. "Good, we need to be more honest."

Raidre frowned. "What's going on, where's everyone?"

"Away." Torian said as he sighed. "Wanted to talk in private."

Raidre froze mid-sip. The hot tea poured out of her mouth back into her mug.

Torian frowned. "Ew."

Raidre fanned her tongue as she put the mug on the coffee table. After a moment, she looked back at him, eyes showing a lot of white. "What do you mean you want to talk in private? What is going on? I am not ready for this!"

Torian blinked and laughed at Raidre. "Ready or not. This is happening."

Raidre looked worried. Torian shrugged. "You said we needed to talk when I was in the tank."

Raidre nodded and shivered. Torian frowned and pulled a blanket off the back of the couch.

"Cold?" he asked as he wrapped her in the blanket and rubbed her arms warm.

Raidre nodded. "Cooling down."

Torian smiled but rolled his eyes at her. "Want to shower? Talk after?"

Raidre sighed. "I do, but I don't want to make you feel like I am running away."

Torian nodded. "You are running away."

Raidre gasped. "What is with you!"

Torian laughed. "Stop being a di'kut. Go shower."

Raidre pouted and Torian just put his forehead against hers. For a moment, nothing more needed to be said. Raidre opened her eyes and Torian was already looking at her.

"Go, waiting for you."

Raidre sucked in her breath. "Geez, no pressure."

She stood and began to walk away. Torian just smiled at her from his seat on the couch. He made pushing motions with his arms as she walked away from her. "Pressuring you!" He shouted with a smile on his face.

"Jerk!" Raidre shouted back. "You have been spending way too much time with Mako! Starting to sound like her."

Torian laughed and stuck his tongue out at her. Raidre gasped as she walked away, still turned towards him and watching him. He sat in silence, bathing in the smells of Raidre's tea and moments later her shower. The Mantis recycled the air, so even though she showered in her room, he could always smell the water and her soap. Torian pulled the mug towards himself. He had made her tea countless times, but had never wanted to try. He took a tentative sip and pulled away fast.

"Way too hot."

He placed the mug back on the coffee table and leaned back on the couch, placing both arms along the back of it. He listened the sounds of the shower and thought of rain. Truth was, he was scared stiff that this conversation was going to ruin things. But they needed to get it out there and just talk about it. Raidre was not gone long. Soon she was back towel drying her hair in sweatpants and baggy t-shirt. Torian waited for her to be seated, she grabbed her tea, blew over it and took a sip. She sighed and leaned into the couch. Torian smiled.

"Comfortable?"

Raidre nodded as she sipped. "Ready for this 'talk'." She said making air quotes with her free hand.

Torian nodded. Took a deep breath. "What am I to you?"

Raidre spat out her tea. Torian dodged the hot liquid thanks to her having aimed away from him. They both stood and Raidre shoved him back on the couch as she quickly cleaned up the mess she had made.

"Wow, " she began after a moment of silence. "Just gonna go right for it, huh?" Raidre asked as she finished wiping down the coffee table.

Torian leaned forward towards her, elbows on knees and shrugged. "How else can we do it?"

Raidre sighed. "Okay, that's fair. There is no right way to do this."

Torian shook his head. "No, there isn't. But we need to air things out, because now, this tension between us," He said as he gestured from her to himself. "It's messing with work."

Raidre looked up at him and frowned in confusion and surprise. "Who are you and what have you done to Torian?"

Torian laughed. "Mako called a therapist. After a month of pushing, gave in just to get her to leave me alone."

Raidre blinked. "Did it work?"

Torian frowned. "No."

Raidre chuckled. "Well damn."

Torian smiled. "Stop deflecting."

Raidre sighed. "Well krif." Raidre put the mug down. "I wish I knew what you were to me Torian, but I don't have a straight answer."

Torian nodded. "No surprise. Feel the same."

Raidre nodded, but frowned.

Torian took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about leaving."

Raidre looked up. "I wasn't mad that you left."

Torian paused. "Why were you mad, then?"

Raidre pulled her knees in. "Because you left without even trying to saying goodbye, it was sudden, I got no explanation and I didn't even know if I would ever see you again."

Torian nodded. "I'm sorry, Raidre. That was a shabuir move."

Raidre nodded. "Naw, what was a serious shabuir move was leaving me to wonder for almost 6 months if you were dead or alive and whether I was the reason you left in such a hurry."

Torian winced. "Yea, that's bad."

Raidre nodded. "6 months is a lot of time for a person like me to come up with a ton of horrible scenarios surrounding your untimely demise, and how much you might hate me."

Torian reached out and touched Raidre's shoulder. "Could never hate you."

Raidre's lip trembled. "Then why?"

Torian inhaled. "Because I felt like I had failed you, and got you hurt. Thought that meant I wasn't worthy of being part of the team."

Raidre smacked his knee, it made a snapping sound, but Torian never flinched. "That's up to me to decide!"

Torian nodded. "Know better now, but couldn't see beyond what I felt."

Raidre sighed. "Okay, so that's why I don't know how I feel about you, but why don't you know how you feel about me?"

Torian flinched, pulled his hand away and raked his hand through his hair. Torian groaned.

Raidre snorted. "Naw, no way. I had to come clean. You don't get to back out now!"

Torian groaned and his face fell into his palm. "Can't help checking you out. Those. Pants."

Raidre blinked. "What?"

Torian groaned. "You do it on purpose. The tight pants. No way those are comfortable as kute bottoms!"

Raidre continued to blink. "What about my pants?"

Torian 'face-palmed' again. "Come on!"

"Wait, checking me out..?" she asked as her eyes grew wide.

Torian looked up frowning. "You don't know?"

Raidre blinked. "Well, I thought we might have had something at first, but then, we got professional, and things got cold-"

"Every time we hunt, walk behind you to stare at your ass. It's hard not to touch you when you're out of your kit."

"Oh." was all Raidre said. "So that time, when we hunted Jicoln together?"

Torian blushed and felt light-headed remembering their one shared kiss.

"You weren't taking advantage of me. I don't care that you're older. That was fully reciprocal."

For a moment Raidre just sipped her tea. Torian stressed. "Speak your mind."

Raidre snorted. "Not thinking of much."

Torian frowned. "Then what?"

Raidre sighed. "Having a hard time focusing when we have the place to ourselves and turns out we both want to jump each other."

Torian felt hot. The want was there. But he didn't trust his body to deliver what he felt she deserved. "You deserve me at my best, not at my worst."

Raidre pouted. "I think you're taking this too seriously-"

Torian nodded. "Maybe, but also thinking of your Clan-"

Raidre frowned. "I told you, I have no dog in that fight-"

"Artus may feel otherwise."

Raidre groaned. She sipped her tea.

Torian sighed. "Don't want to mess this up, but gotta be honest. Worried how people would treat you because of me."

Raidre finished her tea and slammed her mug on the coffee table, she sat back down on the couch next to him, grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards her. Torian had not been expecting it, so he was not bracing for it. His body collided with her and then his lips were drawn to hers like magnets.

He had forgotten how she tasted and how soft her lips were. Like a man dying of thirst, once he had her, he could not let go. He pulled her in and she whimpered into his kiss. He wrapped one arm around the small of her back, while his other ran along her scalp and the back of her head pulling her lips closer to him. He leaned into her and her mouth opened.

He had wanted to think, be rational, to talk together and make the best decision for them both. But now all he could think about was all the nights he had laid awake thinking of her, pinning for her. He closed his eyes and lost himself in the feel of her.