AN: So, how are we all feeling after Chapter 6? Don't worry, that's not the last time Eugene and Rapunzel will have some, uh hem… feel-good-happy-fun time, as Eugene so poetically likes to call it.
Today's featured song is… drum roll please… This Town by Niall Horan. Very much captures the essence of what's going on in Eugene's head right now, especially the following lyrics:
Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there
The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air
It's hard
Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round
It's funny how things never change in this old town
So far from the stars
Aaaand… I just made myself sad. I hope you enjoy this one, because it was fun to write. I'm absolutely living for all of this Eugene angst.
Chapter 7: Orphans Don't Deserve Love, and Thieves Can Never Keep It
The following day, Sunday, is Eugene's only day off from work each week. He tosses and turns until sometime after nine o'clock, when the sun has long-since flooded brightly through the curtains, blanketing the little bedroom in a warm, golden color. The fire in the fireplace has long since gone out, and so has the fire in his heart, leaving Eugene feeling damp and cold all over. He rolls over, hiding his face in the pillows with a pathetic groan.
Bad move. Rather than providing some much-needed comfort, his pillow only punches Eugene deep in the gut, because it still smells just like her.
Talk about a wakeup call.
Eugene drags himself out of bed with heavy eyes and a heavier heart, dressing casually in brown pants, a white long-sleeve, and a navy leather vest – appropriate attire for the sunny, comfortably warm November day. He stalks down to the employee dining room, already feeling an especially foul mood settling in, burrowing deep in his bones.
Eugene considers turning on his heel when he spots Lance sitting at the otherwise empty breakfast table. Lance leans back, two of the legs of his chair lifting off the ground, sporting a grin that is way too chipper for nine a.m.
"Hey, buddy! Haven't seen much of you these last few days. You look tired. Did you not get much sleep last night?" Lance asks in a suggestive tone that Eugene knows is meant to resemble mock concern.
Just as Eugene had feared, Lance, without a doubt, had heard everything. Everything.
"I slept dandy." Eugene replies, yanking a chair from the table before falling into it, absently spooning some fruit onto a plate. "Just fucking dandy." He breaths bitterly.
In actuality, Eugene had laid awake for the majority of the night after Rapunzel had left a little after midnight. He couldn't sleep, couldn't do anything aside from fixate on the fact that they had just made love for the first time, yet she still had to return to her married bed for the night.
A bed that had a different man lying in it.
It was sick, really. All of it. Eugene had known the rainstorm of guilt that was pouring upon him in unforgiving torrents this morning was inevitable. He had known full well how he'd feel in the morning when he didn't turn Rapunzel away last night: like absolute garbage. He'd known how painful it would be when he'd wake up and she wouldn't be there in his bed, sleeping beside him like she should've been.
Still, he'd done it anyway, given in to her pleas and his own unquenched desires. He'd given his whole heart to her, his body, and hers she'd given to him. He'd now given her every piece of him that he possibly could, all the while knowing how much the aftermath was going to kill him. And this morning, he has the audacity to be surprised at how empty he feels.
Because Eugene is an idiot. An idiot who is totally and completely in love with the princess. The married princess.
It would've been easier on his heart in the long run to make her go last night. But Eugene hadn't been strong enough to send her away then, and probably wouldn't be strong enough now, if he were to see her again today.
Eugene really needs to work on the whole 'will power' thing.
Unfortunately, having will power where Rapunzel was concerned was like asking one man to stop the moon from affecting earth's tides, or asking one man to stop the sun from shining so bright. In a word, it was impossible. It was impossible not to love her and even more impossible to stop wanting her as much as Eugene still does. Even after the relief brought about by their little late night indiscretion, he still wants more of her, because she's her.
"Oh, something was fucked last night, alright. Like the princess? By YOU?"
Eugene drops his spoon to his plate with a loud /clank/, giving Lance a hard look, trying his best to convey the message that he's not in the mood for their usual jovial banter today.
"C'mon, man, don't bust my balls. That's the last thing I need right now." Frankly, Eugene doesn't need to be kicked while he's down.
Especially not by Lance, of all people, whose life decisions were far past questionable at best.
Lance gives his best friend a raised eyebrow in return, a slight look of judgment. That annoying grin of his fades, and Eugene knows that Lance isn't just teasing anymore.
"Okay, okay." Lance raises his hands in defense. "Look, Eugene. I say this, only because I love you… but you do know she's married now, right?"
"Yeah, Lance, I know she's married. I'm actually well aware of that, but thanks for the painful reminder."
Lance reaches for a bottle of syrup, drenching the stack of fluffy pancakes on his plate.
"I'm not trying to hurt you, buddy. But if anyone finds out, or if anyone heard everything like I did," Lance pauses to shiver dramatically. "Charles and the council will probably call for your head on a stick. Like… sever your head from your body and parade you around like a Eugene-shaped piñata. You know that, don't you? Think about what would happen to your hair!"
"Yeah, I know."
Lance sighs, tipping back in his chair once more to look at his best friend with worried eyes.
"She's married, man. You have to let her go. You've gotta give her a shot at a happy life with this guy. She can't have that if you're rolling around in the sheets with her." Lance provides a semi-sympathetic look before shoveling a mouthful of pancake down his throat. Semi-sympathetic, only because he is a little jealous that Eugene got laid last night, even if it was under the worst possible circumstances.
"I KNOW." Eugene breathes deeply, dropping his head into his hands in defeat, rubbing them over his face. "I know."
They had made love not once, but twice, though Rapunzel had left in a rush right after, knowing that Charles would be wondering why she hadn't come to bed yet and would probably come looking for her. She'd mumbled something about having to lie about being in the library while pulling her nightdress back over her head.
Eugene had so desperately wanted to hold her, to beg her to stay the night, or even just a little while longer. He'd never been the type of cuddle post-sex, but he needed to feel her skin upon his, to feel her soft breath against his neck – to keep her from ever going back to that freaking prince. But he knew she couldn't stay, and hearing her say no would've only hurt more. Charles had probably been suspicious enough about the princess's late night disappearance as it was, and the last thing Eugene needs is another confrontation.
Or another fist to the head.
Eugene knows Lance is right, that she has no chance of happiness with Charles while he's still around, but he can't find the strength within himself to leave the palace quite yet. He's not sure that he ever will find it. There's that whole 'lack of will power' thing again – Eugene's inability to walk away from Rapunzel, his inability to bear the thought of never looking at her up-close again. To have to see her as the rest of the kingdom does – as the beautiful, caring Princess Rapunzel of Corona, and not his princess. His Sunshine, his Blondie, his overly-curious, daring adventure partner, the girl who used to sneak into his room, if only to make out with him in the middle of the night. How could he possibly walk away from that?
After all, he'd promised her, and himself, that he would never leave her again, what with the trauma of him leaving her on the beach that night after the lantern festival, and then dying in her arms the next day. He'd already left her enough for one lifetime, hadn't he?
He might have to get himself kicked out of the palace, Eugene concludes. Although, with Lance around, that wouldn't be too hard to accomplish.
Besides, maybe Rapunzel would be better off if Eugene left. That way, she could pursue the relationship and lifestyle that was expected of her. It seems as though he's always teaching her all the wrong things, things like sex and swear words and how to pick a lock – activities that are definitely unfit for a princess.
Then again, she isn't any ordinary princess. Rapunzel revels in doing the very things that aren't expected of her.
Eugene smacks his hand on the tabletop in frustration, irate with both his head and his heart for pulling him in two completely opposite directions, as though playing tug of war. A film reel of the night before replays through his mind on an endlessly painful loop; every moan, every whispered 'I love you,' and his personal favorite – the choice swear words that had fallen from her lips countless times, the ones he'd taught her under the shade of a willow tree. He'd given her an in-depth description of every choice word he could think of, and she'd giggled and repeated each of them, amazed by the way they rolled off her tongue.
That day felt like years ago.
"But I couldn't help it!" Eugene leans in closely to his friend with a hushed tone, praying that no one is lurking outside the dining room. "She came to my room again last night, unexpectedly, and she told me that she didn't consummate the marriage with Charles the other night. Because of me. She couldn't do it, because she needed me to be her first. She needed me to destroy her body before he could have the chance to touch her. That's what she said."
Eugene recalls his princess's desperate words, the way they'd set him on fire to the tune of her sweet voice — every 'I'm yours' that would forever be burned into his mind's eye like a Rapunzel-shaped brand.
Lance is quiet for a long moment, before he shakes his head in disbelief.
"Shit. That's deep."
"You're telling me that you could've said no to that? She all but begged me to have her, Lance. She was desperate, and so was I. And I know it's wrong. I know it makes me sleazy or whatever, to knowingly fuck another man's wife. And under different circumstances, I wouldn't have. But this is Rapunzel. I still love her, I can't just turn that off." A scowl forms on Eugene's handsome face as he continues in his bitterness. "I found her in that tower and I brought her back here in the first place, not him."
"I know you did, buddy." Lance reaches over to slap Eugene lovingly on the shoulder, pain visibly filling his eyes at the sight of his friend in such deep remorse. "I know you did."
"I mean, what was I... what was I supposed to do? That might've been my only chance to have her, to truly have her."
Lance nods, knowing his friend needs to vent right now – vent out the pain of waking up this morning without her, in the wake of the intoxicating feelings of the night before.
To vent out the hangover that is Rapunzel.
"I took her virginity last night. No matter what happens, even if I never get to speak to her again, even if everyone finds out and I get kicked out… or worse. I have it, right here." Eugene sticks a finger to his chest, pointing at his heart. "It's mine, forever. No one can take that away from me. I needed that, Lance, after the way these last few months have gone. And I wouldn't take it back."
Lance sighs, wishing he could've just enjoyed his pancakes.
"I understand, I do. I just... I don't want to see you get hurt more than you already have by choosing to stay here, only to watch the woman you love be married to someone else." Lance pauses, a slightly judgmental look returned to his face. "Or lynched for having an affair with the married princess."
"Look, I know it's fucked up, all of it. But I'm willing to let the chips fall where they may. I'll face the consequences when they come," Eugene shrugs indifferently. "If they come."
"You know, Eugene, you might not care what happens to you if someone catches you, but what about what could happen to her? Charles doesn't exactly seem like the kind of guy that would let this slide if he found out."
"You think I haven't thought about that?" Of course he had. All Eugene ever thought about was Rapunzel, and whether or not she'd be okay. "I guess I just have to hope that no one finds out."
Lance leans forward, a usual look of mischief returned to his face.
"Do you think it'll happen again? Maybe she'll show up all desperate and needy to your room tonight."
Eugene runs a hand through his hair, wondering what he would do if she were to show up to his room again. Most likely not send her away, because he's weak as hell when it comes to her. She probably won't come back, though, he figures – they've quenched their thirst, scratched that itch, once and for all. Why keep dragging this on, when the morning after hurts this much?
She's married now, this can't happen again. Why would she come back? Eugene thinks to himself. Well, maybe because she still loves you, because she's nineteen and just had sex for the first time, because you're incredibly good in bed… wait a minute.
Why WOULDN'T she come back?
"I don't know if it'll happen again, Lance. I know I have to try to stay away from her, even if it kills me."
"But will she stay away from you after that little taste of Fitzherbert di –"
Eugene shoots Lance a pointed look, a silent warning not to finish that sentence.
"Honestly, I don't know. An incredibly selfish part of me hopes not." Eugene rests his elbow on the table, placing his chin into his hand with a drawn out sigh. He's not so hungry anymore, not after this downright depressing conversation, not after evaluating his questionable decisions. "But the other part of me knows it's wrong to want her to cheat on her… husband."
Yuck. That title, concerning Rapunzel and attached to someone that isn't him, is enough to make a bit of bile rise in Eugene's throat.
"Well, for my sake, I hope she will stay away." Lance turns back to his plate, shoveling a forkful of pancake dripping with syrup into his mouth. "Because your headboard is loud as fuck, and I slept horribly last night."
Rapunzel has been whistling all morning. It's a happy tune, one that you might even tap your feet along to.
It's the kind of whistling that Cassandra absolutely despises.
"Okay. Spill it, Raps." Cassandra tosses a newly-fluffed pillow to the princess, who returns it to its proper place on the massive bed. The lady-in-waiting crosses her arms, giving Rapunzel a hard look. "What happened to you last night? You totally went MIA."
Rapunzel's whistling drops off suddenly as she begins to sputter instead. The petite brunette chuckles nervously, clearly trying to disguise the bright blush color creeping ruthlessly upon her neck. She takes one end of a freshly washed sheet in her hands, looking for a distraction, any distraction. Rapunzel struggles to fold it under the mattress as Cassandra works easily on the other side.
"I – I don't know what you mean, Cass."
Cassandra steps over, taking Rapunzel's end of the sheet from her hands. She's frowning, deeply, the kind of frown that says, 'You can't fool me, so stop trying.'
"Rapunzel, you have been cheerful and giggly all morning." Cassandra tosses the remaining material onto the bed, looking her friend in the eye with a heavy sigh. "Look, I know everything going on these last few months has been hard on you. You've been… different. You've changed since Charles got here, and I don't blame you for that. I don't blame you for how angry you've been, and I'm happy to see you happy for the first time in so long. I feel like you haven't been yourself in weeks. And although I can't believe I'm admitting it, I miss your overly caring, overly touchy, overly… cheerful self."
Rapunzel hangs her head, because even she can't deny that she's been a far cry from her usual self in the last three months. She's felt no desire to explore, to climb, to quench her burning curiosity – not the way she had when she'd first arrived home. It were as though Charles's arrival had sucked every ounce of joyfulness from the typically bubbly princess.
She'd tried her best to remain positive despite her less-than-ideal circumstance. Doing so had become increasingly difficult, especially since the wedding day, when Rapunzel had begun sharing a bedroom with the stuffy prince. Because that's what husbands and wives do – they share a bed. But it was nothing like sharing one with Eugene, warm and comforting and safe. With Charles, it was cold and felt empty, because the bed was so big, and she'd found solace in scooting herself as far away from the prince as she possibly could, while still being on the bed.
She hadn't expected it to be anything like what it was to share a bed with Eugene, hadn't expected him to be like Eugene at all – but being with Charles was just so… starkly different. So much so that it deeply irked Rapunzel.
Cassandra continues, not trying to hide her concerned expression.
"I've wanted nothing more than to see that side of you come back. And this morning you seem a little more like… yourself. But I can't help but feel like it probably has something to do with –"
"Birds!" Rapunzel exclaims, bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet, causing Cassandra to jump a little, pushing her dark eyebrows together in confusion at the princess's outburst. "It has to do with birds. I saw these two birds this morning from the balcony. And they were so happy together, I guess it just put me in a good mood. And… then… this bee flew up and stung the birds, and…"
"I know you didn't just make a reference to the birds and the bees!"
"Well –"
"Rapunzel!" Cassandra leans in close, hissing quietly at the princess. The lady-in-waiting looks to the heavy oak doors that have been propped open, to ensure that none of the palace maids are milling about, what with their always open ears and eagerly gossiping mouths.
Months ago, a rumor had been going around amongst the maid staff that Eugene had a massive – well, Eugene had been proud as a peacock when the news of that rumor hit his overly-sized ego. Cassandra hadn't heard the end of it for weeks, and would never fully recover from the trauma. His lower half was a part of Eugene that Cassandra never wanted to think about.
Even more than she didn't want to think about the other parts of him, like his narcissistic tendencies, immature sense of humor, and slight obsession with his hair.
"You lost your V-card last night, didn't you?" Cassandra whispers quietly, unsure if she should be upset or laugh. One thing she knows she shouldn't be is surprised.
Rapunzel looks to the ceiling for a long, drug out moment, as if the question didn't call for a simple yes or no answer.
"I don't know what that means, exactly –"
"Oh, come on." Cassandra throws her hands into the air. "You might've been in a tower for eighteen years, but I know, that you know, a lot more than you let on. Eugene has taught you a lot more in the last year than how to pick a lock or how to swipe an extra dessert from the kitchen without getting caught. You think I don't know what you two were up to when you went off on all of those long 'horseback rides?'" Cassandra pauses to create quotations in the air with her fingers, grimacing with a dramatized shiver. "I caught you in the loft that day, getting eaten –"
"And I apologized for that." Rapunzel tugs at the collar of her dress, fanning her face a little. "Whew. Is it hot in here to you?"
"Stop avoiding the question!"
"I'm not avoiding anything, Cass! I'm simply commenting on the temperature of the room. My old bedroom was never this stuffy."
"Let me guess." Cassandra taps her foot, her arms remaining crossed over her chest. "You didn't lose it to our favorite blonde prince, either. You know, your husband?"
Rapunzel's shoulders sink with a grimace, because she knows there's no use in lying to her best friend. Cassandra somehow always knows the answer to everything. But not in a worldly way, like Eugene.
It was more of an 'I know one thousand different ways to kill you in your sleep' sort of way.
"Not exactly."
Cassandra pinches the bridge of her nose for a long moment, before placing a gentle hand on either of the princess's shoulders.
"Look, Raps. I know how much you love Eugene, despite how much I'll never understand it. But if anyone catches wind of this, you're going to be in some deep shit." Cassandra thinks for a moment. "Let me rephrase that: if anyone finds out about yours and Eugene's little indiscretions, as the person hired to look after you, I'm going to be in deep shit. I'll get fired for letting you do something so stupid, and probably sent to a convent. A convent. Is that what you want?"
"Well, no –"
"Then don't you dare have sex with Eugene again!" Cassandra points a finger to Rapunzel, who can't tell if her lady-in-waiting is posing empty threats, or trying to say that the secret is safe with her. "You're a married woman now, Rapunzel, as gross as that is. And married women cannot have scandalous love affairs with once-convicted criminals. Got it?"
"Right. Here's the thing about that. I kind of hate being married to Charles. And I know that I should stay away from Eugene, but you've never been in love before, Cass! I had to see him after the wedding, it's been killing me to stay away from him! And once I got there, I couldn't not kiss him. And things just kind of started to escalate from there and I –"
"I DON'T want to know!" Cassandra slaps a hand to her forehead, groaning inwardly. "Ugh. Just… don't make this a regular thing, okay? And whatever you do, make sure you don't get caught. I don't need to see Eugene's body hanging from the ceiling in the main entryway in the morning."
Rapunzel pulls back in realization, a sly smile on her lips.
"You care about Eugene."
"No, I don't. I'm just not a morning person, and we both know that I'll be the one roped into cleaning up the mess."
When Eugene was just a little boy, he'd often sneak up to the roof of the orphanage at sunset, and watch the sun sink into the sky, giving way to the bright moon. He'd imagine himself, not as poor orphan Eugene Fitzherbert, but as Flynnigan Rider, floating upon the stars. He'd imagine himself as the swashbuckling rogue, rich beyond human comprehension – someone all women wanted, and all men wanted to be. Eugene would sit there on the roof and imagine all the things he would do if he ever had as much money as the intriguing fictional character: buy a private island, buy a castle – buy happiness. With that much money, he could fill the void set deep in his heart, a void that had been created by a lack of pure, genuine love.
The kind of love that only Rapunzel had given him.
Months ago, Eugene had found this wide ledge hanging from a tall window on the north side of the palace, overlooking the entirety of the kingdom and the harbor set off in the distance, opening its mouth to the never-ending sea. Sometimes, he'd come here to this hidden spot when he needed a moment alone, a moment to think, to clear his head – lately, even when he needed a moment to cry.
Eugene had found this very spot on the same night Rapunzel had asked him to stay here in the palace with her. It had been the same day she'd saved his life, the day he'd returned her to her parents. That night, he'd swung his feet over this very ledge, looking out into the vast kingdom, and thought about all he had to lose, and all he had to gain. If he stayed, he'd lose a life of constant adventure, a life of thieving, a life of trickery and lies – a life that provided little to no satisfaction.
A life of emptiness.
Despite its lack of fulfillment, a life of crime, aside from those first years in the orphanage, was the only life Eugene had ever known. To let go of that had been, although he'd never admit it, scary as all hell.
But even then, that first night spent in the palace, Eugene had known how he felt about Rapunzel, had known that something about her made him want to be… better. Different. She'd dug into his conscience in a way that no one had before her. He was sure that she was the best thing to ever happen to him, sure that he could change for her, if she wanted him to. He could leave everything he'd ever known behind, let her burn every bridge he'd ever crossed in her little hands, and pray to the heavens that he wouldn't go up in flames with them.
He'd prayed that she'd still be there to keep him warm, even if he did burn with all those bridges he'd built – even if the ashes of Eugene Fitzherbert weren't as interesting, as suave, as fun as the fire that Flynn Rider had been.
Had been. Once he'd met her, the strangest feeling overtook Eugene, the feeling that Flynn Rider wasn't so fun a role to play anymore. That Flynn's purpose had come to an end, that his chapter as the roguish thief had come to a halting stop, an unexpected close. He didn't need Flynn anymore, not if he had her.
After all, Flynn's entire façade had been built upon a lack of love and affection in Eugene's life, a need to be anything other than an orphan. All he'd really been for all those years, was a shell of a man portraying someone that didn't exist, a character he'd idolized and then personified, if only to comfort the blow of the unlucky hand he'd been dealt. Wearing the Flynn Rider mask, Eugene had shoved his swagger, his narcissism, his bravado so far down everyone's throat, only to hide the fact that he was no more than an orphan with abandonment issues. He hadn't had a savior complex, hadn't wanted to be the good guy, and certainly hadn't wanted to be the one who saved the damsel in distress.
All Eugene had ever really cared about was having enough money to never have to worry about not having money again. He'd cared only about himself, and only about his dream of all that money, and that was it. That was all he'd been concerned with – well, and the quickest way to get away with a crown that was worth millions. That is, until he'd met her in the tower that would claim his life and give him new life, all at once.
If he stayed in the palace, Eugene had considered all those months ago on that first night here, he'd gain a lot of things. Sure, maybe he wouldn't have the adventure of hopping from place to place all the time. He would certainly have a more stable lifestyle, filled with the kind of routine schedule that he'd never known. He'd definitely never have to worry about where his next meal would come from. And he'd surely never have to worry about money again.
But most importantly, if he stayed in the palace, he'd gain her.
And that had been more than enough reason to stay. He'd said so himself: she was his new dream, and he'd meant it. How could he not stay after bearing his heart to her like that?
It was just that staying meant stripping away Flynn Rider and letting Eugene Fitzherbert see the light of day for the first time in a long time. Which was scary, because Eugene had been covered in cobwebs and dust.
Years ago, Flynn Rider would've jumped at the chance to kick his feet up and live in the palace, eating from the silver spoon of a royal, lavish lifestyle. Flynn would stay for his own selfish reasons, to fulfill an agenda he'd crafted since his youth. But when Eugene had made the decision to stay here with Rapunzel, it'd had nothing to do with money, and everything to do with her. That was why he'd asked the king for a job, so he wouldn't have to be referred to as the official palace freeloader, or just 'the princess's boyfriend.' That way, he'd have some kind of purpose. Eugene had needed that, in the wake of giving up his entire identity to be with her. Because if he wasn't Flynn Rider anymore, Eugene hadn't been sure what his purpose was.
Of course, with time, he'd realized that his ultimate purpose in life was to just love her.
Now, with his feet dangling over the edge of the castle wall, Eugene considers how that new purpose, that new dream, has been stripped away from him, too. He counts each of the small boats tied to the docks, which look no bigger than ants from his high vantage point. He takes a long pull from the bottle of liquor he'd brought to the hidden ledge with him – the same bottle he'd stowed away under his bed for special occasions.
If agonizing and moping around over a girl wasn't a special occasion for Eugene, he wasn't sure what was.
As he stares at the waves, watching as they lap against the docks again and again, Eugene thinks about that night in the harbor, on the boat with Rapunzel – the way the lantern light had reflected upon the harbor, turning the still, glassy water a warm, golden color. He remembers the way her face had lit up brighter than all of the lanterns combined, caught up in the moment of her greatest dream coming true. Eugene considers the moment he'd leaned into her, his steady hand guiding her by the neck, gently pulling her closer – the way he'd been only a breath away from kissing her, but hadn't.
He'd lost that beautiful moment forever, all because he'd been too caught up in a dream that wasn't even his anymore.
So much had changed since that night. Eugene had changed. Now, Eugene knows what it's like to kiss her. He knows what it's like to do much more than kiss her. He knows what it's like to love her, to be loved by her, to make love to her. Now, he also knows what it's like to try to live without her. He finally knows how it feels to have that deep void filled in his heart, to receive a love that was so gentle, so innocent, yet so passionate and real.
Eugene recalls with irritation what Lance had said that morning: 'She's married, man. You have to let her go. You've gotta give her a shot at a happy life with this guy. She can't have that if you're rolling around in the sheets with her.'
Maybe Eugene's former partner-in-crime was right – maybe it was time to let her go. Maybe he'd been rewarded one good year for saving her from that tower (although, more than anything, she'd really saved him). Maybe the whole 'happily ever after' thing just wasn't in the cards for someone like him. As much as he'd tried, Eugene wasn't really cut out for palace life, for its rules and regulations, never belonged here among the stuffy, high-collared nobles.
Maybe he was just lucky enough to experience such a love as hers, if only for a little while.
And maybe it made Eugene really selfish that he was trying so hard to hold onto that, to her. When clearly, the universe was telling him that it was time to let go, telling him that his time in the palace had reached its inevitable expiration. After all, she would be in deep shit if anyone found out about last night, and the last thing Eugene wants is to be the reason Rapunzel gets into trouble –with her parents, with the council, with Charles.
Eugene was feeling positively guilty about the whole thing, and he hated feeling guilty.
Now, despite how much energy he'd put into turning his life around, the universe would find its daily entertainment in emotionally kicking the living shit out of him, by giving him a little taste of her, before ripping it away all over again. Eugene had gotten to experience true love, to know what it felt like to have that void in his little orphan heart be filled, overflowed even – before it had been taken away from him just as quickly as it had come, and that void in his heart sucked dry once again.
Because orphans don't deserve love, and thieves can never keep it.
Thieves just let everything run through their hands like water. And maybe that's all he would ever be: a thief who never would've been able to hold onto the princess.
"Gonna keep that all to yourself, Fitzherbert?"
Eugene jumps at the sudden voice, dragging him from the deep tunnels of his thoughts. He scrambles to cap the bottle of alcohol, trying to hide it under his thigh.
"Hey, don't stop on my account."
Cassandra's standing there in the open window, a knowing smile on her lips. She swipes the bottle from Eugene's hands, climbing over the windowsill to drop down beside him on the ledge, dangling her feet next to his. She takes a swig that would've been unfit for any other lady-in-waiting, grimacing a little as the strong liquid goes down. She wipes her mouth on the back of her hand before wordlessly passing the bottle back to Eugene. He takes a drink for himself, eyeing her closely.
A long silence ensues before Cassandra loudly clears her throat.
"So. You finally did the dirty deed, huh? Honestly, you held out a lot longer than I thought you would."
Eugene looks to her with a blank expression before taking another long swig.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
She scoffs, stealing the bottle away again.
"Hey –"
"Well, at least you're a better liar than Rapunzel. It was written all over her face this morning. She may as well have had: 'I'm not a virgin anymore' scrawled across her forehead in red paint."
"I have never had sexual intercourse with that girl."
"Come on, Eugene. You can't lie to me. I know everything."
"I know. And it's actually really freaky sometimes."
Cassandra leans her back against the stone palace wall to look at him all the way. Staring at Eugene closely, she silently lets him know that their usual banter won't do today.
"Who else knows?"
"Just Lance." Eugene swallows another mouthful of liquor, washing the misery he feels down with it. "I hope."
"And you're sure he's going to keep that big mouth of his shut?"
"I trust him." Eugene tips the bottle to his lips once more with a nonchalant shrug, pausing. "Just like Rapunzel trusts you to keep yours shut."
Cassandra crosses her arms and Eugene knows she means business now. Not that he's afraid of her or anything.
"If this keeps happening, and I'm guessing it will, what with your lack of self-control or any sense of personal accountability, someone's going to catch you eventually, someone you can't trust. You know that, don't you?"
Eugene only shrugs.
Of course he knows that. He and Rapunzel are bound to get caught sooner or later, if this little escapade of theirs actually continues. He'd known it since the moment she'd sat on his bed last night. He'd known the risk of their behavior, the potential consequence that it heeded. And yet, maybe because of that lack of self-control that Cassandra so elegantly pointed out, Eugene had done it anyway.
And now he was drowning himself in self-pity, because of that lack of self-control.
"Probably."
Cassandra scoffs at his dull response, rolling her eyes.
"And why am I not surprised that you don't care?"
Eugene looks to his love's best friend, growing slightly irate at the insinuation that it wouldn't matter to him if they did get caught, if Rapunzel did get in trouble for this extramarital affair of theirs. Cassandra's judgmental facial expression was just so… annoying. At least Lance tried to hide his judgment, if only a little.
Of course Eugene cared, but he couldn't just push Rapunzel away. It was too hard. What did Cassandra know, anyway? It's not like sheknew anything about being madly in love.
"What else do I have to lose at this point, Cassandra? I've lost the only thing that's ever really mattered to me."
"That's true. I mean, you already have no dignity, no morals, no brains..."
"Okay, okay. Did you really just come here to kick me while I'm already down? Because you're pretty good at that, and I'm definitely not in the mood today."
"I'm just trying to make the point that wallowing in self-pity isn't your best look." Cassandra glances sideways, carefully gauging his reaction, not wanting his ego to inflate. "Not that you have a good look."
"Okay, Little Miss Always Pissed Off. You're going to intrude on my secret hiding spot, give me a lecture about my own sex life, drink my alcohol, and then insult my impeccable appearance?"
Cassandra sighs at that comment, hard.
"Look, I just don't want… anyone… to get hurt. Any more than they already have."
Eugene sets the bottle down on the ledge with a hard /clink/, its contents sloshing about, as a shock-filled laugh bubbles up in his chest.
"Cassandra! You're worried about me!"
The lady-in-waiting rolls her eyes, reaching again for the bottle, but Eugene quickly pulls it out of her reach before she has the chance to grab it.
"Am not."
"Are so! You're worried about what will happen to me if I get caught with Rapunzel! You're worried that I'll get kicked out of the palace, because you would miss me!"
"I don't care about what happens to you, you dork, I care about Rapunzel." Well, that was a little bit of a lie, but she wasn't about to tell him that, lest that ego of his balloon again. "If you get kicked out, she'll be all… clingy and sad." Cassandra makes a face, sticking her tongue out in disgust. "And I don't do clingy and sad. I've been doing clingy and sad for three months now. I don't need her to get in trouble for fooling around with you. Because that means I'll get in trouble. And I'm not getting in trouble for you of all people."
Eugene brings the bottle to his lips once more, a knowing smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"Just admit that you care about me and move on."
"In your dreams, powderpuff."
They sit there on the ledge, admiring the kingdom below, not saying anything, passing the bottle back and forth. A long while passes before Eugene breaks the silence again.
"Hey, did you see what Charles was wearing today?
"Yeah. He looked like an absolute idiot. He looks like even more of an idiot than you usually do, which I never thought I'd be able to say about anyone."
The two of them bask there in the silence for a long time after that. They bask in the silence of their mutual love for one special princess and their mutual hate of one arrogant prince. Their feet dangle over the ledge as the sun empties its final rays of light into the sky, as the bottle empties into their bellies to keep them warm.