From the author: I don't know why I feel so guilty, but I do. I feel like I let you guys down by not posting earlier. Honestly, it was not possible and there might be large gaps between the next chapters as well. So with my sincere apologies and hope that you still love this story as much as I do, I ask for your support, reviews and encouragement. Each review I read, motivates me to write. Thank you, all.
No, no, no, no….Her mind had a hard time wrapping around this. She did not want to hear or to know this. She had no interest in how Choi Young can become a savior and a hero or how he has a remarkable power to move through space and time unharmed.
Eun Soo sat, staring at the wall:
It was smooth, a pleasant gray color, a warm hue with a little beige undertone. There were no scratches or holes to mark the past, only a smooth, untouched wall which did not give a chance for her eye to rest on any imperfections; it just slid along seamlessly with nothing to catch her gaze for a short layover, to offer a pause, a distraction. Even a smallest speck of dirt or a crack in the paint would have been nice, it would provide a moment's break for her to think about how the paint got chipped, who stayed here before Lee Min Ho rented the place, what they had been doing….
Her world had been shattered into million of tiny pieces. She had not realized it was so easy to break, the fragility of it all. It was as easy to burst as a balloon and poof - her security disappeared, evaporated, disintegrated, vanished into nothing.
"I don't quite understand." She spoke to the wall, into an empty space, as if she was alone.
Jae Su was a patient man. He was a smart man. He was also a man who quickly recognized why Choi Young and Eun Soo were a good match for each other: The inability to refuse request for help when lives were at stake, was something that Choi Young and Eun Soo had in common. Maybe, he would use his sword, willing to kill for that purpose and she would instead attempt to heal and revive, but the intention was the same – noble and selfless, they both had the skills to offer such help and would not hesitate to go against any impediments blocking their way. Separately they were both cut from the same cloth - saviors, each in their own right. Together they were an unbeatable combination. The opposites united - they would become unstoppable.
"If you had a chance to save three people, wouldn't you at least try? You are a doctor, you value human life."
"That's right. I'm a doctor. Then why do I not care for your well being at this second, and all I can think of is selfishly holding onto the man I love and protecting what I have? Why?"
Her eye landed on a male figure on the bed.
She was desperately trying to hate this man.
He was Choi Young's curse from the past; he was at fault for everything. For a second, just for a second she wished she had let him die. The idea that her as doctor might think that, frightened her. Was being with Choi Young more important to her than Hippocrates' oath? There she was - a doctor, hoping to have allowed a patient to die. Can she even call herself a doctor any more? Is not her job to save everybody she can without prejudice? She wanted to become a doctor in the first place because she never wanted to see anybody die, if it was in her power! If Jae Su only knew that he caught her at the most vulnerable, he touched upon the very subject she was struggling with! His words made an impact, a lot more, than he intended.
"I knew he would leave one day. The least I can do for him is to give him support, let him go with dignity." She looked up at Jae Su, who listened respectfully to her thought process, "Am I right?"
"My lady, only you know what's right for you."
Everything he has said was the opposite of what she had expected. He was not forcing her into anything, he was clearly skillfully guiding her toward a choice, so that once Choi Young was gone, she would not feel betrayed or slighted, she would not have to blame anybody and would not be consumed with regret.
Eun Soo realized that the man truly cared. He did not want either her or Choi Young to get hurt any more than they had to. Yet, he seemed to be self-seeking, persistent and only focused on getting what he wanted - for asking the only man she's ever loved to sacrifice his life in order to save others.
Jae Su was a man of contradictions, she decided. But she couldn't bring herself to hate him. He had the same raw honesty in his eyes as Choi Young did, the same intensity that she admired and that draw her to a 700 year-old Woodalchi general from the times long gone.
Eun Soo hated not him, but the message Jae Su delivered. The truth about why Choi Young was sent through the Hwata's gate in the first place, the purpose of the time travel device was of course bigger than her or him or their insignificant lives and desires. How silly she was in her blissful happy arrogance to even consider that they were at the center and everything revolved around them?
Eun Soo felt a pang of striking realization weaken her: their love was not the force behind everything. Their love was just a wacky outcome of a science experiment that gods of the future and past played on them. There was no mystical meaning behind their meeting that was just one of the finite number of steps, comprising the complex string of algorithms, derived from the laws of cosmic physics, which she did not understand. Something logical and cerebral turned on inside her, shutting of the feelings in which she was rapidly drowning.
"The science of time travel is very complicated. For example time paradox or butterfly affect should be taken into consideration. We don't even know what will happen if Choi Young meets his younger self in the past. Or whether it is something even allowed. There should be rules, parameters, regulations. Too many variables, too many unknowns. How do you even know it will work?"
"Because I have to believe it will." His clear with conviction dark eyes conveyed no uncertainty.
"Believe? This is not religion, it is science," she scoffed. "You never explained to me how you decided to pick Choi Young to do your bidding," she was not hiding her doubts.
"I did not pick him. He has a gift. There is no other like him." The answer as calm and simple as the rest of the things he had said.
"And who told you about his 'gift'?" She figured that a man like Jae Su was not the type to study time travel as a side hobby to his day job of being an assassin.
"A friend. Somebody who knows Choi Young intimately. Somebody I can trust."
"A friend, you say? Just like you are his friend?" Was there another time traveler who grew up with Choi Young and wanted to use his abilities for his gain?
"What kind of friends do they have in Goryeo?" she angrily mumbled under the breath to the side.
"Mr. Kim," Jae Su sure had keen hearing.
"Who?" Her voice rose in confusion.
"He has not revealed his identity to you yet?" Now it was Jae Su's turn to be taken aback. He naturally assumed that his patron has met with Choi Young and Eun Soo already and told them what he had told him.
"What is his identity?"
"He is, how should I put it… He is not what you think he is."
"You don't say!" sarcastically exclaimed Eun Soo. What a fucking revelation! "I would not believe a word that old douche bag is feeding you. How can an assassin be so gullible!" She sneered.
Choi Young was naive, too. All these tough men, running around with swords, keeping their promises and willing to die for honor were just very handsome oversized children, trusting and innocent.
She was not that stupid. She grew up in this world where people lie, swindle and cheat and ultimately will do anything for money. She immediately saw how simple it was to trick these men – they were used to deferring to authority and knowledge. They were trained to follow orders and not to think too much for themselves, and would believe anybody who appeared to hold the knowledge. These men were bred to sacrifice themselves for the cause, and they would, if the cause was befitting.
But she was not like that! She was a scientist, a doctor, she was a medical student for many years.
She felt a sense of relief taking over her whole body. Why was she even worried?!
"Why does everybody assume I'm an assassin?" suddenly asked offended Jae Su, after a few minutes of silence, while Eun Soo had that internal dialogue with herself.
She laughed, "Is that even an issue here? You guys were tricked. I will go tell Choi Young. You rest."
"I'm not an assassin!" Insisted Jae Su, as if she cared. "I don't want anybody to die uselessly, just like Choi Young. Just like you do, doctor."
She stopped; ready to leave, she has already gotten up and was heading to the door.
"Whether you are an assassin or Mother Teresa, I can sleep well at night because Choi Young is not going anywhere and you can start working on giving up this useless notion that he will magically bring back the dead."
"It is not what this is about!" Screamed Jae Su, finally losing his composure. "Don't mock me! Don't mock THIS! They died! Horrible useless deaths, all before their time! They were good people! Choi Young knows. He would go, he is not like you! And he knows the truth in his heart. I was wrong about you, I thought you will help me to convince him!"
"Never," coldly and with a steely determination said Eun Soo, her lips tight and eyes focused. "I will fight with all my strength to keep him by my side, and I bet, I would be more successful, than you are!"