He lied. He looked her straight in the eye, believing that his lie was truth for that moment, otherwise, she would have known immediately. She was surprised, but happy when he told her to dress nicely and come with him to the portal.
"We are going home!" She was too excited to question his reasons. She assumed that whatever he had left to do earlier was accomplished and since she could not find out the details, she trusted him.
He paid a handsome sum for a wagon for her and the baby to travel in comfort. As they rode to the Hwata's gate, Choi Young felt his heart breaking. The pain was rhythmically stabbing and steady, it ached and ached and spread into the lungs, making it painful to breathe. He embraced this feeling, not fighting with it, not trying to subdue it, because he needed all of his strength for later.
Eun Soo was happily chatting about how much her parents would be surprised to see their grandson and that her mother would undoubtedly make Choi Young sing for her. She wondered if she could get her sunbae to reinstate her at the hospital or she might have to send her bio around.
"Do you want to stay in Seoul? Because I was thinking, we can live with my parents for a couple of years, just while the baby is still small. It would be nice to have grandparents to help and I can find something suitable at the local hospital. There is a bus that runs to the city and I could even open up a clinic there, women want to be pretty even in a small town, and I could charge less, since overhead for rent will be much smaller. What do you think?"
Choi Young squeezed out a smile and nodded.
"You are not even listening!"
"I am. I am just thinking, that's all," he murmured, making sure his voice did not reveal the raw pain of his heart.
"Anyway, what I was saying, if my parents could watch over the baby, you could also work. I'm sure we can find you something to do. My dad might need help on the farm. Would you?"
"Sure." He nodded again. He would do anything. He would dig dirt and then shovel it back, and then dig again, like a slave, without food or water, as long as he could be next to her and the baby. He would work on the farm like a laborer, using his body and strength for a simple hard day's effort to help his in-laws. He would lay down his sword and never pick it up again, if that's what she wanted. If that would make a difference. He would do anything, anything at all, but he knew that what he did and where he did it would not make a slightest difference in the end.
"I'm tired. I want to stop. Can we stop at the inn, the one where we rested when we first arrived?"
"No," he said too sternly, too glum, catching himself after the fact.
"You and your strict ways of Goryeo," she laughed, not upset in the least. Her eyes were glowing with the light of happiness, the light of expectation for the future, with hopes and dreams for them.
He was surprised actually that she still had not caught up to what was happening, but he figured, one chooses to see not what is in front of them, but rather what they want to see.
"Sleep and rest. We will be there by the nightfall, I promise. I know of a good shortcut."
"Good. I will sleep in my own bed tonight," she mumbled, kissing her child and humming something soothing to put herself and him to sleep.
. . .
Eun Soo's eyes were so big, they could not get any rounder.
"Mr. Kim?"
"Eun Soo-shi," he gave a cordial nod.
"Young-ah, what is going on?" She looked troubled and confused, but only for a second, because her husband's arm rested reassuringly on her shoulder.
"He is here to help us. He is going back also. I want to take a family picture to remember."
"He is here to take a photograph?" She stared up at her husband incredulously.
"Of course not," for the first time during their exhaustively long trip, he laughed. His smile was not heavy as before whenever he responded to her, and Eun Soo suddenly felt a surge of longing to tell him how much she needed him to smile like that. But in front of Mr. Kim she felt too exposed to express such intimate needs. So she just bit her lip and giggled at her own silliness.
As the family gathered, Mr. Kim counted, "one, two, three" and then lifted a slim, credit card like translucent object, pointing it toward the direction of the picture. He quickly checked something and then placed it into a slot of a see-through faintly shimmering ball, which sucked the card in, dissolving it within. Both Choi Young and Eun Soo watched with fascination. "All done," he announced and then pressed yet another invisible button and a holographic image lit up the air.
"Omo, Omo," Eun Soo was beyond ecstatic. The baby gurgled and laughed, pointing his finger toward the picture, as if recognizing himself or his parents and obviously enjoying the brightness of the toy. Choi Young was the only one who reservedly gave a quick nod to Mr. Kim in appreciation.
"Imja, he said he can't give it to us, but we can always look at it when we visit."
She visibly deflated at the news, but understanding why, sighed with clear disappointment. "I get it. Well, it's better than not having any picture at all, right?" she brushed with her fingertip the baby's chubby cheek and he smiled letting a dimple show.
. . .
"You have to see this." Mr. Kim guided Choi Young to a small room with soft lighting. Displayed in glass cases along the wall there were letters, upon letters, written in Chinese.
Choi Young lowered to see one of the documents. It bared Woodalchi seal, but furthermore, it had his signature. He looked up at the man, not understanding. "What are these?"
"You wrote them. This has been in the family."
"Whose family?"
"Yours."
"How did you get these?"
"From you."
"Have we met before?"
"Not exactly. Just think of it as something passed down from generation to generation."
Choi Young closed his eyes, taking in the information. He stood there in the middle of this room, filled with relics of his time, written by him, yet he had no knowledge or memory of completing them. The only logical explanation was that he wrote it later in his life, but then it would mean that he went back to Goryeo and wrote it there?
"If I go back, can I never return? What of Imja? Does it mean I can't outsmart my destiny? I knew I did not belong here, but I hoped..." His voice trailed, laced with sadness and the beginning of acceptance.
"Choi Young, what I am about to say is crucial: You have to be very careful not to change the rules of time. Everything you've thought so far random, has been carefully orchestrated to lead you to a point of meeting your partner."
"My partner?"
"Eun Soo."
"That's what I began to believe, that's why I have stayed here, knowing that being with her was the greatest purpose of my existence. I have never said it to anyone, but you, of all people, you understand. Then what was the assassin saying about me being the key and the emperor testing my abilities?"
"The search for immortality. The emperor was obsessed with it. He thought that catching you and using you would allow him to live forever."
"Even if he travels through the gate, he will still remain human, not immortal. Am I right?"
The man chuckled. "Of course you are. Greed makes people crazy and lose any rationale. Just remember that you are the key, Choi Young. And my job is to protect you."
"You? Protecting me?"
"Yes, if you are not careful, everything can crumble in an instance. Too many things can go wrong. Ripples from one tiny event in time can cause irreparable damage down the line."
"Teach me then."
. . .
That was then, back in Seoul, and now this man from the far future was standing on Goryeo ground, was breathing the air of his forefathers and talking to a man who whose blood was running through his veins.
"She has to go. It is dangerous." Explained Choi Young plainly. "I remember what you said and I believe that if she stayed here any longer, her and our son might be harmed."
Mr. Kim sighed. "I came because of something I found in your letters. For me it is a one-way trip. But I knew that me coming here was important, because of what you said."
"What was it?"
"You said that it was the picture that helped you make a decision to go back into the past, but it was your wife who figured out why it was important."
Choi Young felt a lump in his throat and pushed it down. This thought had not formulated in his mind yet, but apparently, some time in the future he would record it on the paper. He feared that he might have changed the future already inadvertently as he left his footprint in the past. But one thing he was happy he had done – bringing his wife along.
Mr. Kim placed a hand on Choi Young's shoulder and asked with genuine concern, "What of you?"
"I will follow shortly."
"You can't be apart for long. It will destroy both of you."
"I know. Thank you for helping."
"I will watch over her."
"You have a family, a child of your own, don't you?" Choi Young peered into the man's eyes and Mr. Kim lowered his gaze, clearly avoiding. "A boy or a girl?"
"A girl," he responded softly. "A girl with red hair, like your wife. She is very pretty, smart and feisty."
"Just like Eun Soo," Choi Young said as if speaking to himself. He thought of the teddy bear he noticed that day in the office, a child's toy so out of place in that not so warm house. "Why would you leave them to help me?" He added uncertain.
"Not to help you, but to make sure that my little girl has her beautiful red hair." Mr. Kim smiled sadly.
Choi Young's eyes took on an unreadable expression. It was at that moment that he made a decision to do something for this man, who never asked anything in return. "What year and place is your home? You never told me, I'm curious."
"2214. If you are wondering, the gate's placement is still the same. Many things had changed, but the travel portal is intact for centuries. Why?"
"Do you think about your life often?"
"I do."
"Do you regret your choice?"
"No. I don't regret. I just hope that it is not for nothing."
"It is not for nothing." Choi Young lifted his head, eyes clear and willful.
"Are you sure you want to stay?"
The warrior did not answer. He was sure he did not want to stay, but he was certain he had to.
. . .
"Well, shall we go?" Nudged him out of his thoughts Eun Soo and motioned toward Mr. Kim. "Is he coming with us?"
"Yes. He will also be returning. Imja, I need you to think about home. Just think about it. It will help me to open the gate."
"OK." Eun Soo closed her eyes and by the soft expression on her face, she was already back to where she belonged. He focused. His energy felt connected to hers and quickly found an anchor in his center. Two distinct thoughts materialized in his mind, two distinct locations, two destinations. He was not sure if it was possible, but he absolutely had to try. Electricity rushed through him, but he grounded his power and pointed it toward the gate. He felt a strange link, a pull of a sort, confirming that his heart and his mind had to be in the same place for him to act as a key.
"A-ba!" Babbling, the baby smiled a toothless smile, as Choi Young enveloped him in his strong arms.
"Be a good boy, take care of Oma for me," he said, placing a languid kiss on the boy's forehead. The baby's smile went away, sensing something and his almond eyes widened.
"Imja, take him. Take him and go back. You have to!" He transferred the child back to her. The boy grabbed his other hand, but Choi Young shook it off, making the child cry.
At first, she did not realize what he had just said. But she felt it before her mind accepted the words, wave of feelings swept over her instantaneously, and she began shaking uncontrollably. "Are you sending us alone? Why?" She mumbled, shivering from the nervous tension that was building up dangerously within her.
"I will come soon after. Wait for me," he pressed his forehead against hers, exhaling loudly before hugging her and child briefly. "Trust me, Imja."
"I won't leave you, I never will. We promised to be together. You are my husband," she whispered as the cold wind she recognized with apprehension began to form behind her, picking up her words and swirling them in ever growing power of the draft. She turned, terrified to find the gate's mouth open with its gaping glow and her imploding tears rushed out. Eun Soo wept; with her back to the portal, she was pressing her son closely, so that the force would not drag him from her grasp.
"And he is our child. He is our future. Please, Imja, don't argue." Choi Young kissed her deeply and before she could do anything, forcefully pushed her into the vortex. He watched her face, betrayed, eyes full of hurt. He saw her struggling to step out of the pull, but the white light surrounded her and enveloped, taking her away from him. "Stranger," she screamed out, holding the child tightly in her arms.
"Hurry," he yelled at Mr. Kim, who quickly stepped after her, disappearing into the vortex.
Choi Young's body shook, his KI firing erratically, and suddenly the wind subsided, dropping the last leaves it picked up on the way to the ground; everything stopped and silence swallowed him whole.
Kaleidoscope of memories suffused his mind with snapshots, gradually intensifying with color and clarity, quick images flashing. Calmly he thought this what it might be like before he crossed over to the other world. The last journey before death.
Was the end just a black soundless vacuum?
He fell to the ground unconscious.
Strangely, his KI was bouncing like a caged little bird, struggling to lift its head and move its wings, weak, but alive, determined to get stronger. He felt his energy warming up his body, spreading slowly along the veins and arteries and tiny capillaries, the network of life force channels running up and down his drained in exhaustion form. He smiled. Internally. Because nothing moved yet, not even his lips. But he was smiling. Smiling as he felt Eun Soo's KI still alive and well within him. We are as one, always.
And then there was vacuous darkness.