Hello all you amazing people; thanks for putting up with me thus far!

Disclaimer: Jiminy Cricket lied. My dreams of owning Ranma ½ haven't come true after wishing on a star!

Ranma's POV

I've said it before and I'll probably say it again, this curse sucks, but it does have its uses; such as scamming free eats off of poor suckersAnyway, as I was walking home after scoring a particularly nice ice cream cone, I heard shouting. I decided to check it out and saw three of the girls in my class being attacked by some strange girl. I couldn't just let them get beat up, so I put a stop to it by catching the girl's ribbon.

"You stopped my ribbon…that's never been done before. You're no ordinary girl, are you?" The girl asked

"Well…that's one way of putting it," I said and then she grabbed a club and charged me, but she was so slow it was easy to dodge and trip her up. She recovered and then introduced herself as Kodachi, the black rose. She then tossed a real black rose at me before sprinting away. Laughing like a maniac the whole way. I then noticed the other girls were crying, so I took them to Akane. They then told her that Kodachi had beaten up the whole gymnastics team.

"We would have been in a really sorry shape if Ranma didn't show up when she, er…he did," One of the girls added and then they asked Akane for help. Somehow, I knew this wasn't going to end well. If something didn't end well, then that meant that it didn't end well for me.

"Please Akane; it's our most important event!"

"Martial arts rhythmic gymnastics!" Wait…martial arts rhythmic gymnastics?

"The match is against St. Hebereke High School," After that, Akane agreed to help. The girls left and Akane went down to the dojo to practice.

"That was pretty stupid of ya," I quipped, "You'll never learn all this junk in time,"

"Why do you think I called Ryu? If there's a way to learn it in time, he'll find it," Akane told me

"Oh really? You seem to have a lot of confidence in him," I commented

"You've never had to pull an all night study session for finals. If it weren't for Ryu and his memory tricks I'd probably have been sunk," Akane responded

"Well that's math and stuff. This is martial arts!" I exclaimed

"So? All I really need to do is remember the rules and practice the right way, not that much different from 'math and stuff'," Akane countered, but before I could think up a comeback, Ryu arrived.

"So what seems to be the problem?" He asked and Akane explained the situation to him.

"That probably wasn't the most intelligent thing you've ever done," Ryu sighed

"That's what I said!" I cried

"Anyway, moping about it won't get us anywhere. Scarlet, you try and use the equipment while I look through the rule book," Ryu instructed, but before they could get to work, Ryoga walked in as P-chan. After the distraction, Ryu sat down and started reading while Akane did some warm up stretches.

"Every time I think you can't sink any lower, you go and surprise me," I muttered to Ryoga and he growled at me, then he bit me. I clobbered the little runt, but then Akane bashed me with a club.

"This is going to be a long night," Ryu said, mostly to himself, and we returned to doing what we were doing before that unwelcome distraction.

As the night wore on, Akane wasn't doing any better. She was trying, but it seemed gymnastics just wasn't her thing. She couldn't catch the clubs; she tied herself up in the ribbon, and broke the hoop. All the while, I was adding not-so-helpful commentary. When Akane started to throw a fit, Ryu couldn't help but laugh.

"Aren't you supposed to be just a little bit graceful?" I asked in deadpan.

"OK, I'M NOT GOOD AT IT! I'M A CLUTZ! A CLUTZ A CLUTZ A CLUTZ!" Akane screamed

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" I asked and then Ryoga showed up in his human form and offered to train Akane.

"Hey, how's it going, P-chan?" I asked him and he walked over and picked me up by the collar.

"Who you callin' 'P-chan'?" He asked in a dangerous voice

"Wouldn't we all like to know?" I returned and then Ryoga picked up the ribbon and used it to beat me up. Sneaky little pig!

Akane and Ryoga trained while Ryu went over the rules for most of the night until Ryoga finally called the session. Ryoga was all fake compliments and junk, but Akane hadn't improved at all.

"He's lying through his teeth," I remarked

"Shut up Ranma! Ryu, tell Ranma to stop being so mean!" Akane barked

"As much as I wish it was otherwise, Ranma's telling the truth. You're still getting wrapped up in the ribbon, you still can't catch the clubs, and we've almost run out of hoops," Ryu remarked and Akane growled at him and then went to get a bath.

"She's so hopeless, it hurts to watch," I quipped

"She's not that bad…talentless, yes, but this is Scarlet we're talking about and this is gymnastics," Ryu remarked

"Yeah, it's not her fault she has no grace whatsoever," I agreed

"You two shut up!" Ryoga snapped

"You should quit buttering her up so much Ryoga. It doesn't help," I said

"Male jealousy is a pitiful thing to see, Ranma," Ryoga countered and then left the dojo, probably to change back into P-chan.

"Jealous?! Jealous of what?!" I shouted

"Don't listen to 'im he's just shooting his mouth off to get you upset," Ryu advised

"Alright…you goin' home soon?" I asked

"I don't know. These rules are insane. Listen to this one 'The use of a combatant's brother is legal except on the second Sunday of the month'," Ryu quoted

"Why the heck would they even have a rule like that?" I asked

"I haven't the faintest idea. But I'm going to read all these rules so Scarlet doesn't get shot in the foot by them," Ryu said

"OK, 'night then," I told him and went to leave the dojo. Then we heard

"Akane Tendo, prepare to die!"

"You don't think Scarlet pissed off a female version of Ryoga, do you?" Ryu asked

"I hope not," I answered and we both rushed to see what was going on. We got there just in time to keep that Kodachi chic from killing Akane. As soon as we got there, Kodachi ran away and left tons of black rose petals behind.

"Why are you two standing there?! After her!" Akane shouted and we went. We found her just as she fell from the rooftop. So I went and saved her.

"I don't know whether to ask if you're OK or to ask why the heck you were trying to kill Scarlet," Ryu told her when we were back on the rooftop.

"Are you OK?" I asked her and then she grabbed me like her life depended on it.

"Hold me!" She gasped and suddenly I got the feeling that I was about to get into a whole lot of trouble. I put her down and we tried to get away, but then Kodachi started complaining about her head hurting. We couldn't just leave someone in pain. So I told Ryu to watch Kodachi while I was going to get aspirin. But then I got tripped up by something. It was Kodachi with some rope. She asked me not to go. I couldn't very well say no so I stayed and Ryu tried to get the aspirin. He met with the same result. She then asked us our names.

"Ryu Tomoe," Ryu said

"Ranma Saotome," I told her and she pulled out two bouquets of black roses and presented one to each of us. They then exploded into some kind of powder. It was some kind of paralyzing powder and we both went down. She then tried to force herself on me, but before she did, she went and checked her makeup. Girls, I'll never understand 'em! Stupid powder! Stupid Kodachi! After she was done, she thanked us for 'waiting', but before she could do anything to us, Akane saved us!

"RIGHT OVER MY BEDROOM OF ALL PLACES!" She roared as she kicked Kodachi off of me. Kodachi then promised to make this up to us and roof hopped away. Akane then decided to leave us on the roof because she thought we had been harassed by Kodachi willingly! We ended up staying on the roof for the rest of the night, but at least after the first hour, we were able to talk again.

"Somebody help us!" I tried to shout

"Stupid girl! I should've recognized her!" Ryu exclaimed

"You know her?" I asked

"There's only one person who's that crazy. Kodachi Kuno, sister of the Kuno we have to put up with," Ryu answered

"Kuno has a sister?!" I exclaimed

"Yes, and it looks like she's taken a shine to us," We both shivered in horror.

"Of course, his sister would be two timer too!" I moaned

"What did we do to deserve such a horrible fate?!" We both shouted to the sky, but of course, we got no answer.

MUHAHAHA! Poor Ryu and Ranma, now they have to put up with Kodachi's…'tender mercies'. I don't know how much of Kodachi's dialog I'll be able to write without puking, but I'll do my best.