The first thing Tsukasa felt in the morning was a hand gently stroking the top of her head. Though she was awake, she kept her eyes closed, hoping this lovely feeling would continue. The warm bedsheets that surrounded her body felt heavier than usual. It was all so peaceful that it didn't take long for her to doze off again. Besides, today was Sunday, a day she normally spent doing little more than sleeping.
Getting to wake up next to her beloved sister was a rare treat. Being awoken by a soft kiss on the lips from her was even rarer. It was slow and restrained, conveying an innocent, sincere affection. It was nothing like the deep, occasionally sloppy kisses they had shared the night before while embracing each other. Tsukasa's consciousness gradually came back to her as she returned the kiss.
"Good morning, sleepyhead. It's time to get up."
Tsukasa's eyes fluttered open. She saw Kagami, whose pajama top was still unbuttoned, staring back at her. "Good morning, Sis," she said softly. "How did you sleep?"
"Well, since someone I could mention kept me up all night, I could only get so much rest," Kagami teased. "You were great, by the way."
Despite the pillow talk, they were ignoring an undeniable fact: their relationship was never going to be the same. Anytime Tsukasa looked at Kagami from now on, she would be reminded of the fact that she lost her virginity to her. Even if they tried going back to just being sisters, they would still have to take this secret to their graves. Then again, it wasn't like this was a surprise. They knew what the consequences would be if they gave into their desires, and they did it anyway. The worst part was Tsukasa wasn't even sure whether she regretted it.
"To tell you the truth," Kagami continued, "it never even occurred to me that you were gay."
"I never really thought about it," Tsukasa said in response. If she had to put a label on her sexuality, she would probably say she was bisexual. Although she had on occasion found herself attracted to one boy or another, that attraction paled in comparison to what she felt for Kagami. "All I know is that I'm in love with you. Can't that be enough?"
"Of course." Kagami got back under the covers and held Tsukasa's hand. "I think we're both still processing what happened last night. Would you like to go out today, just so we can have some quality time together?"
Tsukasa nodded. "That would be wonderful, but let's get something to eat first."
The twins got dressed and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Tsukasa suddenly thought back to all the noise they had made in the middle of the night. As it turned out, she could moan quite loudly when touched in just the right places, and Kagami wasn't exactly a silent lover either. She had no idea if the rest of the family had heard them or simply slept through it. Every time someone greeted them, she wondered if they would say something about it. The dread was enough to make her feel nauseous, but she did her best not to show it as she ate.
"Is everything alright, sweetie?" her mom asked.
"I just, um, didn't get much sleep last night," Tsukasa answered, trying to play it cool.
"It didn't have anything to do with that loud thumping sound, did it? Was that you?"
Tsukasa's heart sank. She knew exactly what her mom was talking about: the sound she and Kagami made when they fell off the bed. It couldn't have been anything else. If she told the truth, the next question would obviously be why they were in the same bed in the first place, and then she would have no way out.
"She had a bad dream and wanted to sleep with me," Kagami interrupted. "It was hard to see where the edge of the bed was in the dark, so I fell." They had slept together before, so her lie wasn't hard to believe.
"Oh. Well, try to be more careful next time." The conversation moved onto something else, and a bullet was dodged.
That afternoon, Tsukasa and Kagami headed out for the day. For all anyone else knew, they were just two sisters walking down the street together. No one would have suspected the sparks that were flying whenever they glanced at each other. At least, that's what Tsukasa kept telling herself. She wanted to be more openly affectionate, but she knew it would only cause problems, so she had to keep her hands at her sides.
Their destination was a popular date location in the area: a small family-owned café. As they expected, there were plenty of couples happily talking to each other inside, allowing the twins to hide in plain sight. Tsukasa ordered a mocha, while Kagami got a dark roast. Once they got their drinks, they found an empty booth and sat down.
"I'm sorry things didn't work out with you and Kona-chan," Tsukasa said. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Kagami absentmindedly swirled the spoon around her cup of coffee. "Dating makes everything so complicated. You think you know someone, but once you open your heart to them, it's like they're a different person. You see parts of them that you never would have imagined before. It was easy at first because we couldn't keep our hands off each other, but when we started thinking about our future together, it all fell apart. That's why we've been bickering so much."
"Do you think you can at least go back to being friends?"
"I hope so, but right now I just need some time to grieve." Kagami took a sip of her drink. "I'm really glad you were the one who reached out, Tsukasa. No one gets me the way you do. Maybe it's not so bad that things went the way they did last night."
Tsukasa checked to make sure no one was watching them and then looked back at Kagami. "What does that make us, then?" she asked quietly. "We've probably gone far enough now to be lovers."
Kagami sighed. "I still don't know. I mean, for one thing, you're still my sister. That will never change, but we're clearly something more now. I just don't know what to call it. Maybe we should try to take things one step at a time until we figure it out."
I doubt she'd be so unsure if we weren't related, Tsukasa thought. She had hoped that going on a romantic date with Kagami would make her more open about her feelings, but instead it only made things more awkward. Again, she wondered if it was a mistake to give her first time to someone who could never openly love her back, but it didn't stop the aching in her heart. If only Tsukasa had been just another girl, maybe she could try to give Kagami the happiness she couldn't find with Konata. Would it have been better if she had simply minded her own business and held her tongue instead of revealing her terrible secret? She looked around wistfully at the other couples in the café, her mood becoming as bitter as the drink in front of her.