Frozen, still as a statue, an ice-sculpture, even.

Marinette's mind ran through lists and lists of ways to describe Alya's motion.

Or lack thereof.

Alya was going to hate Marinette forever.

Alya was going to hate Marinette forever for not telling her that she was Ladybug and then she'd post it on the Ladyblog and then Master Fu would take away her miraculous and Chat would be upset because she'd been deceiving him so he'd never talk to her again and she'd never have any privacy once people knew she was Ladybug and her parents would never trust her again and she'd lose Tikki and … and…

"You're Ladybug!" interrupted Marinette's spiral, and then "YOU'RE LADYBUG?"

"Uh," Marinette said eloquently.

Already, she had one leg out of the window, to escape before Alya could physically pin her down. But of course, she wasn't transformed. So she couldn't escape via window. Right.

Tikki could wipe memories, right?

Right?

Well, that would be problem solved then. Just let Tikki wipe Alya's memories and then it would be like all of this had never happened.

Marinette poked Tikki, who remained fast asleep on Alya's desk. Lucky. Fatigue was still stealing through Marinette, the adrenaline rush of the identity reveal having been countered by the end of the transformation.

"IfIdon'tgetbackMamaandPapawillbelookingformesoI'lljust…"

Alya, who was well-versed in Marinette-garble, leaped forward and pinned Marinette to the floor.

"Answers. You can go when I have answers."

This was a disaster. Even in the case that Alya did keep this secret (and despite Alya's insistence that she had journalistic boundaries and wouldn't post things about Marinette, that was extremely unlikely. After all, there was a difference between a date with Chat Noir and being Ladybug) Alya's fiery temper still left her open to akuma attacks. A public reveal of her identity would be, Marinette gulped, devastating, but Hawk Moth knowing who Marinette was? Targeting her family? Her friends? That was worse. Marinette would have to watch as everyone around her showed their bitterest, darkest sides - as every emotion was blown out of proportion and every fight became a fight for her life.

Alya continued on, perhaps sensing that she wouldn't be getting any coherent answers from Marinette any time soon.

"I knew that Ladybug went to our school! The history textbook was yours wasn't it? Are you really thousands of years old?"

It would be Lady Wifi all over again, except worse this time. Alya wouldn't reach off to remove the mask only to find that she'd been outwitted by kwami magic. This time, she'd know from the beginning. She might even capture the Ladybug miraculous before Marinette could transform. If Hawk Moth picked up on her surprise now, he could just send a butterfly into the room and then Alya would be able to take Tikki who was still sleeping and Marinette's earrings because Marinette was powerless to stop her she was so tired and then Hawk Moth would be able to rain unlimited destruction on Paris and there would be no cure or magical fix there would just be suffering and pain as loved ones were turned into ice-cream sculptures or the Eiffel Tower was destroyed sending hundreds of homes into ruin as it collapsed and Chat Noir would have to deal by it all by himself.

She needed to breathe.

Marinette would be replaced by a new hero that wouldn't reveal their identity and have their miraculous taken from them because they'd have learnt from her mistakes, the best bad example around and Tikki would be given to someone else, like Rose, who was definitely kind enough, or Lila, who would finally get what she'd wanted for so long, or maybe someone Marinette hadn't even met, who would be an unknown stranger who would take her place and be friends with Tikki and flirt with Marinette's Chat.

"Stop twitching, it's driving me insane," Alya ordered, with a huff.

Huh. Without realising, everything from Marinette's fingers to her toes had been moving, muscles fluttering in response to the fight or flight mechanism that always made her want to move.

"I'msupersorryIcouldn'ttellyoumymiraculousisgoingtobetakenawayforthisIneedtogo."

Each thought running through her head was mashed into a franken-sentence, that Alya would understand, because Alya knew. Alya knew how Marinette reacted when she panicked. She knew how to decipher Marinette's flustered speech. She knew how Marinette went into overdrive when stressed, how everything sped up, from her speech to the way she moved, to the thoughts colliding into each other in her head.

"They can't just take your miraculous away!" Alya remarked, indignant.

Of course Alya knew. Alya always knew.

"You've run yourself ragged for them! You never get any sleep!"

Marinette gave a small, stressed smile.

"Besides. It isn't like anyone's going to know, are they?"

"What?" Marinette blurted.

"Well it isn't like I'm going to tell anyone."

Deer-in-headlights, thy name is Marinette. She stopped moving. She blinked owlishly.

"You didn't honestly think I would post this on the Ladyblog? You're my best friend. It would be dangerous. I'm not an idiot!" Alya's voice rose in volume and pitch the longer she spoke, embers of rage beginning to flare in her eyes.

"I, uh…"

"I learn from my mistakes, ok? Lady Wifi won't happen again. How could you think that of me?"

"But…"

"What the hell, Mari? We've been friends for nearly a year now and you still don't trust me? We talked about this!" Alya was only gaining steam, gaining more resentment. "That's not even mentioning the fact that I took down that article after we argued about it, BUT I GUESS YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE, HUH? WAS THAT WHY YOU WERE HERE? TO ASK ME TO REMOVE IT?"

Taken aback by the uncanny insight that Alya so rarely displayed, Marinette failed to even process the remark at first. The second time round was just as difficult. The third time was the charm. Alya had taken down the post. She'd respected what Marinette said enough to take down the post, even if she'd been stubbornly pretending that she was still mad. What was Marinette meant to do with this information?

"You..you did that for me? Yuh-you said it was, uh, the most, uh the most viewed piece on your… blog…" she said tentatively.

"I, uh," Alya swallowed, "I want to apologise. You were right about the privacy thing. I…I thought about what I'd said to you – how I wouldn't report on what you told me about Chat Noir. I realised that if I wouldn't report what happened between my friend and a superhero if they didn't want me to, I should probably respect what the superheroes had to say about what I reported. If someone had posted about our fight – if the whole school had read it – I realised I'd be pretty upset about that. I wanted to extend the same respect to their private lives as I'd want people to extend to my friends, or to me. That makes no sense, but you understand, don't you?"

It took a while to sort through, but once Marinette had digested it, she threw herself at her friend. Tactile as Alya was, she accepted the hug without a second thought, squeezing Marinette back and putting her chin on Marinette's shoulder.

"You have no idea how much that means to me, Alya," Marinette whispered into Alya's mane of hair.

"Well I kinda do now," Alya snorted half-heartedly. "Nino pointed a few things out and then Alix – well, I'm not sure what she was trying to do, but some of what she said made me think and – gurl, I missed you. I would do nearly anything for you, it seems," Alya laughed sadly.

"I should say sorry as well. I didn't mean…you are the best friend I've ever had," Marinette definitely did not sniffle. "Before you, school was hellish. You helped me discover the courage I needed to become Ladybug in the first place. When I first got the earrings, I tried to give them to you, you know. But then you left without them, and you were in trouble and you needed a Ladybug, so I put them back on to save you."

"That is, without a doubt, the most ridiculous, sentimental thing you have ever said to me," Alya (who was definitely not sniffling) laughed.

"It's true."

"You'll have to tell me the story sometime. Oh my goodness, gurl, the stories you have to tell me. I can't believe I've been missing out on the exclusive Ladybug POV to all the fights. Wait - " Alya gasped in sudden shock, "That's why I always got the exclusive interviews!"

Marinette smiled shyly, stepping away from Alya and sitting down on the bed. She had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

"Yep. Did you seriously think it was because you were our number one fan?" Marinette mocked, swinging her feet so that they kicked against Alya's bedframe.

Alya spluttered. "I thought Ladybug and Chat Noir wouldn't lie!"

In turn, Marinette snorted. "Yeah, right. We're both teenagers, I think, not exactly all-powerful gods with morals of gold or whatever."

"So it's true that you and Chat Noir don't know each other's identities?"

"Mhmm. You are one of two people who know my secret identity and the other one is the one who gave me the miraculous."

For a second, Alya's mouth moved soundlessly.

"Really? I always assumed that 'the best-kept secret in Paris' was actually known by parents, friends, teachers, Chat Noir, etc. Otherwise, how did you turn up to akuma fights during school, or after curfew?"

"It involves a lot of lying, bad excuses, being constantly late and getting no sleep," Marinette sighed, rubbing her eyes. Getting no sleep was spot on, she dreaded to think how little sleep she was going to get tonight.

"I just thought that was you…" Alya snorted.

"If it weren't for this side-job I'd be the best student in the class!"

"That is a lie. You sleep in on weekends where I know you've gotten enough sleep," Alya accused.

"Because it's a luxury!" Marinette protested, but it was too late, Alya had the evil glint in her eye that meant she knew she was right.

"The last time you stayed up late - on a weekend at least - was our sleepover."

"You aren't considering patrol, or late-night sewing projects."

"Suuure, gurl, I believe you. It isn't as if you're a master liar or anything," Alya rolled her eyes.

But beneath the grin and the teasing there was a snag of hurt. For as long as they'd known each other, Marinette had lied to Alya, to the point where Alya wasn't even sure if staying up late and oversleeping the next morning was something that was part of Marinette's nature, or the side-effect of a job Alya hadn't even known she'd had. Marinette wasn't going to apologise for keeping her identity secret. She'd had to. She still had to. But secrets weren't something she enjoyed keeping.

Hence the infamously obvious crush on Adrien.

She wasn't even trying hard to keep it from him and he still managed to remain oblivious!

"Anyway," Alya barrelled on, "speaking of patrol. What is it that you do on nights like this? You're practically comatose, and I know it isn't because you were on patrol."

"Chat and I like to practice our combat skills in an abandoned warehouse." It was comfortable to sit nestled in Alya's bed, sharing her stories, her secrets, the things she couldn't normally discuss with anyone else. Their legs pressed together against the bed. "We basically just hang out," she added as an afterthought, because it wasn't just training and seeing as she could be completely honest with Alya from now on, she wasn't planning on lying – or omitting things.

"Is that code for flirting?" Alya asked idly, but the deliberately neutral set to her smile belied her interest in the question.

"So, see, it wasn't exactly like we were flirting, because you know I wasn't interested in Chat…"

"Hmm? Lovely use of past tense there gurl," Alya interrupted smugly.

"Eep."

"Do you, or do you not, like Chat Noir?"

"I…I do."

"Are you, or are you not, dating Chat Noir – as Ladybug or as Marinette?"

"I'm not," Marinette pouted.

"What?" Alya cried incredulously. "Gurl! So you like the guy who's been crushing on you since he met you, loudly and obviously, but you aren't dating him," Alya said flatly.

"Yeah…About that…he told me today that..um…maybe…hesaidhe'dfalleninlovewithme."

"I hate to break it to you, but that isn't news, Mari."

"I mean, me," Marinette pointed at herself.

"Ooooh," whispered Alya. "Oh damn."

"So now I'm fake-dating him as my civilian-self, we're both in love with one another, but he's managed to fall in love with the wrong alter-ego."

"Oh," Alya cackled, "My," she had to pause to let the laughter out, "God. Only you, gurl, only you."

"What do I doooooo?" Marinette whined, swinging round so that she was hanging upside down off of the bed and all the blood rushed to her head. Everything seemed much simpler here, with all her higher brain functions eeping out from lack of blood supply.

Alya was still cackling. After a long heave, she finally calmed down enough to say, "Oh, you think I'm helping you get out of this one? No, this one is all your fault, Mari. You get to deal with it all on your own."

Pouting, Marinette turned unreasonably wide eyes Alya's way.

"You don't mean that."

For good measure, she blinked slowly a few times.

"I'm immune to the puppy-dog eyes, Mari, don't you try them on me." Alya said smugly. "They will not work. I have withstood Manon's doll-eyes. I have withstood every sort of big, starry eyed, waifish animal the twins have batted their eyes at me like. There is no sort of expression you can make that will make me humour you."

"But I'm so pathetic," Marinette whined, accidentally losing her balance and toppling, head-over heels, off of the bed and onto a vaguely pyramid-shaped position on the floor, which was an excellent way to punctuate her point.

Sighing, Alya put her head into her hands.

"I'd ask if you did that on purpose, but the fact that this might just happen anyway, by accident, is proof enough of your point that it's not even worth the effort."

Marinette gave a goofy grin.

"Stop looking at me like that! Of course I'm helping you, you idiotic, clumsy excuse for a human being," Alya said fondly. "This is going to give me a migraine, isn't it? I can already tell."

"Thank you thank you thank you Alya!" Marinette cried, leaping up, knocking into the table once, the bed twice, and finally managing to fling herself at Alya

"Hffffff. You are so lucky you have me, gurl," Alya sniffed dramatically into Marinette's hair.

"Absolutely," Marinette nodded enthusiastically.

However, they were interrupted when a tiny, tinkly yawn sounded from over on Alya's table.

"Tikki!" Marinette exclaimed with relief, "I wasn't sure how long it would take you to wake up!"

"What is that?" asked Alya, equal parts disgust and awe. "Is that a bug head? Marinette, gurl, what is that and why does it have bigger doll-eyes than you?"

Tikki weaved her way over to them imperiously, her body language screaming displeasure.

"I am a kwami, not an it," she squeaked with disgust, before turning her back on Alya entirely and addressing Marinette. "You know what this means, Marinette. I'll have to go back to…" Tikki paused, seemingly reminding herself that Alya was in the room, "I'll have to go back to where I came from."

Both of their eyes filled with tears. For goodness sakes! Marinette had had enough emotional conversations today, she didn't need one more. Why did everything seem to be so suddenly topsy-turvy, like the rug had been pulled out from underneath her and she'd ended up upside-down hanging off a chandelier? Tikki was the one person Marinette had been able to talk to about anything, who could be counted on to give wise advice and be an endless stream of positivity, no matter what. Now, that would be gone.

"Wait just a second," Alya spat, "I don't see who's going to take the miraculous away from Marinette."

"Well of course you don't," Tikki said, mouth pressed into a thin line, "you aren't permitted to know about such things, and Marinette isn't allowed to tell you."

"I didn't mean that," Alya hissed dangerously, "I meant, I don't see who is going to take it from her considering no one's going to find out about this little slip up."

Tikki sputtered.

"Marinette is obviously the best candidate for being Ladybug, or she wouldn't have been picked, so I don't know why you think that it's a good idea to take Ladybug away over something so small."

"Their identities must remain a secret!" Tikki squealed.

"Bug, Mari here is your best bet against Hawk Moth and you're just going to give that up? That's such a smart idea." Alya's voice dripped sarcasm.

"When you get akumatised next…" Tikki began, with forced patience.

"I'm not going to get akumatised again. Don't you want to stay with Marinette? You'd just leave her, when you have a choice not to?"

The special skill that Alya didn't often reveal was her ability to fillet someone with only a few choice words. Her way with words was what had made her want to become a journalist in the first place, and combined with her uncanny intuition – that, sure, liked to pick and choose when it made its appearance, but was no less deadly when it did appear – could wreck a person, should she want to wreck them. She had a way of spotting weaknesses, the same as Marinette, except, the rest of the time, her people-reading skills ranged from mediocre to poor. Those uncanny flashes of insight never helped her discover an akuma's weaknesses, or spot when someone needed cheering up, or when they were feeling left out. Even in the cases in which she wasn't oblivious, Alya lacked the skills to help people, to fix the problem. As Nino was fond of saying, she had all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. She was simply much better at tearing people apart. She was good at verbal sparring, though.

So her words did the trick.

Struck by the weight of them, Tikki recoiled, silver drops beading in her eyes.

"Of course I want to stay with Marinette," her voice trembled, "but I have a duty-"

"You have a duty to stop Hawk Moth. Getting rid of Ladybug, or worse, replacing her with a second-rate version isn't going to help with that," Alya added, more gently.

Marinette watched the exchange with no small amount of fear. On dark nights, when the wind howled and neither of them could sleep for fear of an akuma, Tikki had curled up beside Marinette's ear and whispered to her of her siblings. She'd confided in Marinette about Plagg, how annoying he was, how much trouble he always got into, but also about how she ached to be parted from him, how he completed her, was the rule-breaking to her law-abiding, the mischief to her sense. She'd told Marinette about Nuru – the butterfly kwami, who was sensitive and felt all of his wielder's emotions too deeply to tell, about how she'd feared that all the anger, frustration, sadness and negative emotions that Hawk Moth felt would take a terrible toll on the kwami. "We bugs have to stick together," she'd sniffled in the dead of night, tiny body curled up on Marinette's shoulder, as if only in the darkness could Tikki be brave enough to talk about the family she'd been separated from. Marinette knew. She knew how much Tikki longed for this to be over, for Hawk moth to be defeated, for her to be re-united with everyone she'd been brutally cut off from.

It wasn't just a duty to stop Hawk Moth that Tikki felt, it was one of her greatest desires.

"I…I…" Tikki stuttered, clearly distressed.

"None of us tell anyone about this. It doesn't have to leave this room." It…it almost sounded like there was the hint of a plea in Alya's voice. Alya was - she was pleading - for her - for Marinette. This was how much Alya valued their friendship. Little pieces of Marinette's heart cracked as love welled up deep from within.

Tikki didn't answer.

That was answer enough.

Finally, Marinette felt like she could take a breath. This was…everything she'd ever wanted (minus Chat and his identity, a traitorous part of her brain whispered). This was one less person to have to hide her secret from, one less person to have to lie to, day in day out, who couldn't understand why she cancelled engagements last minute, or always let them down just when they needed her most. This was her still being able to protect Paris, but still having someone in her corner as she did so.

She could stay Ladybug.

Tikki could stay with her.

She could stay with Chat.

Each revelation made Marinette feel like her skin was on fire, something burning bright and hot beneath her skin that wanted to be free to dance over rooftops and paint a picture in the starlight.

But the moment Marinette looked at the warm, foggy glow of Alya's lamp, exhaustion washed over her. Maybe not today.

"Why did I de-transform, Tikki?" she asked, as if that was the most important thing that was going on. What was her brain thinking? Bright red blood rose to her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Marinette, I tried to warn you by beeping your miraculous. When you tire yourself out too much, I take the strain. It's not about whether you use lucky charm or not, that just takes more energy out of me. I held on for as long as I could, but when you saw warmth, away from the cold – we aren't just ladybirds in name. I'm so sorry," Tikki apologised.

Only then did Marinette note the still-dull look in her eyes, the way every ten seconds or so, she dropped a bit when hovering. Tikki had slept for an age, but it was clear she was still lacking in energy. What was Marinette thinking? Of course Tikki needed food if the transformation had worn off like that.

"Tikki! You need food! You've exhausted yourself again, already. My..uh.." scattered belongings littered the floor and Marinette's arms pinwheeled as she slipped on one in the search for her bag with the macarons in it.

"There we are! Tikki, here."

Gently, Marinette lifted a macaron and held it out for Tikki; it disappeared down Tikki's throat like it was a breath of air and in alarm, Marinette fed Tikki nearly her whole stash of macarons, before Tikki finally slowed down enough to breath, and say, "Thank you, Marinette," voice as sweet as the sugar she'd just poured down her gullet.

Over by the bed, Alya's jaw had dropped to what was possibly the core of the earth.

"How…How does it eat like that? Where does it go?" she whispered in awe.

"She's Tikki, not an it," Marinette admonished, but she had no answers for Alya. After all, she was still baffled by it herself.

"I still need sleep," Tikki announced and drifted off and through the wood of one of Alya's drawers to curl up inside of it.

"So…what is she?" Alya piped up, obviously still at a loss.

"Tikki powers my miraculous. She's my kwami. Chat Noir has one too."

"Pretty sure she'd hate that you're telling me. She seems a little hung up on 'the rules'," Alya huffed.

"She was the one that told me to keep my identity secret at all costs," Marinette admitted, staring down at her hands. "I think it will take a while for her to adjust to …this." She waved a hand at Alya, barely avoiding bruising her knuckles against the wall.

"Speaking of keeping your identity a secret at all costs, if I know, does that mean you can tell Chat Noir?"

Marinette visibly paled.

"Or not then," the horrible-excuse-for-a-best-friend-that-Marinnete-was-disowning-right-this-minute chuckled.

"Hfmmmf," Marinette squeaked eloquently and with dignity.

The laughter from the no-longer-Marinette's-best-friend doubled in volume.

"Jeez," it said, wiping its eyes, "Gurl, you are not looking forward to sorting that out, are you?"

An expression Marinette was becoming very familiar with took over her face.

"You're pouting," Alya stated.

Marinette pouted more aggressively.

"You have to sort it out at some point," Alya wheedled.

The pout only deepened.

"Come on Mari," Alya sighed, "you have a brilliant, oh hawt damn guy, who has been hopelessly head-over-heels for you ever since he met you, who has recently also fallen for all the versions of you he knows, and who you are pretending to date, yet you pout."

When it was put like that, Marinette was tempted to let go of the pout, but then she'd remember all her hopeless attempts to ask Adrien out, and the hope plummeted.

The goddess from above (who often went by Alya) though, seemed to read Marinette's mind.

"This won't be like asking out Adrien. This time, you know he likes you back, gurl. Go for it! You know he likes you, you know how to actually talk to him and you aren't a stuttering mess around him. These are all good things!"

"But…I."

"But you what? Everything is going your way, Ladybug, which I still haven't gotten over by the way, you owe me so many details, I cannot describe. You can even talk to Adrien now. You can be better friends with him."

Little by little, the pout receded.

There was one more problem though.

"I can't date someone I don't even really know," Marinette admitted softly.

"What are you talking about? You've known him for as long as you've known me! You've trusted him with your life in the heat of battle! Gurl, get your priorities straight, you can trust him with your heart!"

Well, as pretty as that speech was, Marinette had her doubts it was all so cut and dry.

"I don't know how he drinks his coffee, or what colour his eyes really are, or whether he has siblings. I know practically nothing about him Alya."

"I bet you know all the things that count. I bet you know more than you think you do."

"Like what? I know a little bit about what his life's like at home – I guess, but we've always tried to stay away from personal topics."

"You know he likes puns."

"Pfft," Marinette snorted, "Adrien likes puns and you couldn't get much more different from Chat Noir than Adrien."

"Let's be real though, they both make excellent models," Alya cracked up. Marinette was helpless but to join her.

"Besides, Mari, it doesn't matter what you know about him. Frankly, the whole stalker thing you had going with Adrien was a bit unnerving. You'll get to know him better."

"THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF," Marinette burst, remembering at the last moment to keep her voice down before Alya's family wondered what the voices coming from her room were. The TV shows and vidoes Alya played constantly on her laptop made a good alibi, but if they recognised Marinette's voice…

"What's there to be afraid of?" Alya shrugged.

"What if I find out his identity? What if he finds out mine? I'm not sure I'm ready for that," Marinette whispered her secret.

"It's probably something that will get easier with time. Besides, you don't think you're going to go your whole life without ever telling each other your identities?" Alya rolled her eyes at Marinette's mute understanding. "You managed when I found out, didn't you?"

"What if it changes us?"

"Of course it will, but it'll probably change your relationship for the better," Alya waggled her eyebrows.

"Oh my word, Alya no!" Marinette snorted.

"Don't act like you don't want it, missy. I have a bona-fide confession from you stating that you like Chat Noir. Now all we need is a plan."

"I'm doomed," Marinette moaned.

"Shh, you. Listen, it'll go like this…"

A/N:

I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN THREE WEEKS. Here you go, have the longest chapter yet as compensation.