Found out what was causing the mail to not go through. My Gmail was putting my Fanfiction emails into the spam. I have fixed it.
Disclaimer: I have much fury for my spam filter, but I don't have ownership of Ranma ½.
Ranma's POV
Well, it was easy to tell something strange was going on. After all, it's not every day Pops gets a challenge letter written on okonomiyaki. So I decided to track down my old man and found him KO'd in an abandoned lot. I managed to wake him up, but then almost got cut in half by a giant spatula. Then a mysterious figure told me I was next on the hit list. I was gonna chase whoever it was, but Pop stopped me.
"What's the big idea?!" I shouted at him
"You'd best keep your distance, for your own good," Pop said and then walked off. I don't think I've ever seen my old man so somber.
That night, I tried to grill my old man, but he was being unusually tight lipped about the okonomiyaki guy who had beaten him up. Something about me being shocked about his actions.
"Me? Be shocked about something you've done? Yeah right," I scoffed and then took it out on my old man.
Later, Akane told me that she had heard the okonomiyaki guy shout something about being 'the kid Genma left behind'. So Akane guessed that my old man had some kind of affair and that guy was my half-brother. After hearing that, I found my old man in panda form trying to make his escape.
"GOT ANY OTHER KIDS YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME ABOUT?!" I shouted at him
[I swear, it's not what you think!] The fat panda protested
"THEN TELL ME WHAT IT IS ABOUT!" I roared
[I can't tell you! It's for your own good!] His sign cried
"LIKE HOW YOU COULDN'T TELL ME YOU HAD SOLD ME FOR SOME RICE, TWO FISH, AND A PICKLE?!" I shot back, but the old man clammed up and we didn't get a word more out of him.
The next day at school Akane and I told what had happened to Ryu.
"Why wouldn't I be surprised if Genma had spawned an illegitimate child?" Ryu sighed
"Because that's how my old man is! There's no low he wouldn't sink to," I growled and then we were informed by one of Akane's friends that we were getting a transfer student. Of course, with my luck, it turned out to be the okonomiyaki guy, who we learned was named Ukyo Kuonji. He was at the front of the class, making a batch of okonomiyaki.
When he threw me one of his okonomiyaki, suddenly I remembered! It was Ucchan from back when we were little! I then told everyone about the time me and pop had spent in the area around where Ucchan and his father had their okonomiyaki business. Then Ucchan got me to remember something else I had forgotten: Pop had made off with his family's okonomiyaki cart. There were many facepalms.
"WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?!" Ryu shouted, "I'm gonna beat the old fool to within an inch of his life after school!" But it seemed he wouldn't have to wait that long, as my old man appeared and claimed that Ucchan's dad had 'given' him the okonomiyaki cart.
"I earned it for taking Ukyo off his hands, and that's the truth," He said
"You'll forgive me if my suspension of disbelief is sorely tested by that statement," Ryu growled and I kicked him to the floor.
"Why would Ucchan want to come with us?!" I shouted at the fat panda and offered to let bygones be bygones with Ucchan. I must have said something wrong, because he cooked up another challenge okonomiyaki and threw it at my face. He then left.
"'Meet me tomorrow afterschool at the gym or else'" Akane read, but none of us noticed that Ryu had slipped out as well.
Ryu's POV
I had a theory about Ukyo and if I was right, it would explain a lot. So I followed the okonomiyaki cook
"So, why are you wearing the male uniform?" I asked when I caught up
"It's 'cause I'm a guy, ain't it?" Ukyo replied hotly
"Your cheekbones are too high, I can't see an Adam's Apple, and the most damning; if you were a guy your posture would have earned you a trip to the hospital for back injury a long time ago. I'll grant you it's a good disguise, but given how the old fart was acting, there had to be something that wasn't quite kosher," I said, "So, why do you have it in for Ranma when it's quite obvious that Genma's the one that scammed you and your dad."
"Why do you care?!" Ukyo shouted
"Because Ranma's my friend, and friends tend to care when their friend's life is in danger. Besides, I think you're missing one key part of the puzzle," I remarked
"Oh, and what's that?" Ukyo asked, voice dripping with sarcasm
"Ranma has a hard time remembering things that happened only a few years ago, never mind over a decade. A guy from his middle school came looking for a fight and it took Ryoga hitting him to remind him of what had happened. Ranma didn't remember that his dad had swiped your cart until you pointed it out. Also, I'm under the impression Ranma thinks you're a guy, so if Genma did something really stupid like engage you or something, he'd have no clue," I answered
"What do you mean 'something stupid like engage us'?" Ukyo asked with a very dangerous tone
"He did, didn't he? I am going to kill him," I muttered
"WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN?!" Ukyo shouted
"At last count, Genma has engaged Ranma to three girls. One before they were born, the second in exchange for a bowl of rice, two fish, and a pickle, and apparently the third for your okonomiyaki cart," I explained
"You're joking…please tell me you're joking," Ukyo almost begged
"I tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, twisted as it may be," I answered
"…I spent ten years hunting for Ranma and Genma…I had to forsake my womanhood…AND YOU'RE TELLING ME GENMA ENGAGED HIM TO TWO OTHER GIRLS?!" Ukyo roared
"On the bright side, one of them gave up, so now you only have to deal with the other one and a Chinese Amazon that's claimed Ranma as her husband," I snarked
"Chinese Amazon..? Did I just walk into a manga? Can you point me to the nearest exit back into reality?" Ukyo asked weakly
"When the Saotome Clan is concerned, reality takes a hike," I remarked
"Now I'll never restore my honor… maybe I should just commit jigai and save my family the dishonor," Ukyo said morosely
"NO!" I shouted, "Killing yourself is never the answer! Honor be damned!"
"How can you say that?!" Ukyo shouted back
"My parents both committed seppuku because they thought they had to for honor, so you'll excuse me if I'm not fond of the concept. You are Ukyo Kuonji, insofar as I'm concerned, what your ancestors did or didn't do means jack shit. The only thing that matters is your own choices and actions. They shouldn't reflect on your family and their actions shouldn't reflect on you," I answered
"Do you mean that?" Ukyo asked
"It's either believe that and keep living, or purposely killing myself and throwing any potential I have out the window," I quipped
"I spent ten years chasing after Ranma. I'm not getting that time back," Ukyo pointed out
"You also spent that time improving yourself, getting better at cooking and your chosen martial art. I don't think it's worth begrudging Ranma over that time. He just wants to be your friend and friends are something he sorely needs," I said
"Maybe…I'll think about it," Ukyo replied and then dashed away
The next day
Ranma's POV
I met Ucchan just like he asked that day. He had a ring all set up and ready to go.
"Hey Ucchan, over here!" I greeted and Ucchan charged me with his giant spatula.
"How dare you joke around during a duel?!" He shouted at me and tried to hit me with that spatula of his.
"Hey, is this any way for friends to act?" I asked, "Whatever happened to the good old days?"
To my surprise, suddenly Ucchan stopped attacking and got a faraway look in his eyes.
"You know something? We did have a lot of fun when we were younger…I kinda miss that." Then he turned a red hot glare at my old man. "Then he had to go and ruin it."
"Well, whaddaya got to say for yourself old man?!" I barked at him
"Yes, tell them exactly why you made off with the okonomiyaki cart," Ryu chimed in
"I don't know what you're talking about," The old man said and I kicked him into the ground.
"You said Ucchan's dad gave you the okonomiyaki cart. Why would he do that? OUT WITH IT OLD MAN OR I'LL BEAT THE STUFFIN OUTTA YA!" I shouted
"OK! I'll tell you! Just let me get up!" He surrendered and climbed to his feet. "Ranma, meet Ukyo, your fiancée."
I swear the uproar that followed almost made me deaf. Everyone was shouting and runnin around and generally going crazy at what my old man had said. Eventually, things calmed down enough that I could think straight and grabbed the fat panda by the front of his gi.
"Pops, this had better be a very sick joke or I'll…"
"No, wait! Ukyo isn't a guy! She's a girl!" Pops cried while thrashing about. I was so surprised I let go of him. I turned to Ucchan.
"Is he tellin the truth?"
"He is," Ucchan said, not meeting my eyes. Then my old man told us about how he and Ucchan's dad had set up the engagement.
"Of course, the final decision was up to you, Ranma," Pops said
"What do you mean 'up to me'?!" I shouted
"Well, one day, I sat you down on my lap and I asked you, 'Ranma, which do you love more, okonomiyaki or Ukyo'. You said you loved okonomiyaki more, so I took the cart and left Ukyo behind," Pops answered
"Even if that did happen, which I sincerely doubt, RANMA WAS 5 YEARS OLD! FURTHER, HE THOUGHT UKYO WAS A BOY! WHAT KINDA STUPID, HALF ASSED ATTEMPT AT SHOVLING THE BLAME ONTO RANMA ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL?!" Ryu roared and my old man was cowed for the moment.
We decided to take that moment and escape before anything else went wrong. That's how Akane, Ryu, Ucchan, and I wound up on the school roof. We were there for awhile, each thinking through recent events. I still was coming to terms with the fact my best friend was actually a girl! If that ain't a kick in the pants, I don't know what is.
"So…what are we gonna do?" I asked eventually
"I don't know about you, Ranchan, but I'd just as soon forget all about that stupid engagement. It's caused me more than enough grief. I'd rather be friends, just like in the good old days," Ucchan answered
"Heaven knows Ranma doesn't need any more girls chasing after him, especially not for things his Dad did," Akane remarked
"I'd like that Ucchan," I said and we spent the rest of the day telling each other how the last ten years had been.
*insert mysterious foreshadowing remarks here*