Another chapter of Curiosity Killed the Cat? So soon? Preposterous!

Disclaimer: I'm not a stuffy old Englishman and I don't own Ranma ½.

Akane's POV

Somehow, we had managed to be late for lunch. On our rush down the halls, we ran into Daisuke and Hiroshi, who told us the cafeteria was out of all of our favorite kinds of bread. Then Shampoo showed up and offered Ranma some kind of steamed bun. Warning flags went off in all our heads, but when Ranma tried to refuse, Shampoo grabbed him by the arm and took off. Then the hall erupted into a riot. Over Shampoo or over some bread, I'm still not sure. In the chaos, we lost them.

"Well…if Ranma shows up and starts acting weird, we'll know he's drugged," Ryu commented and I dope slapped him.

"Wouldn't it be better if we found him before he got drugged?" I asked with a little bit of heat.

"We're not going to get lunch today, are we?" Ryu complained

"We can eat at my place right after school, now come on!" Ukyo shouted and we went to hunt down Ranma. Thankfully, it didn't take all that long, as Ranma's horrified scream soon led us to him. For some reason, Ranma was holding a cat. A cat that apparently had a cold, because it kept sneezing. Eventually we manage to disentangle the cat and Ranma.

"Aiya! Snap no trigger, Sneeze does!" Shampoo muttered, but we heard her.

"SHAMPOO, WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Ranma yelled, but she fled the scene of the crime before answering.

"So, Ranchan, why were you holding that cat?" Ukyo asked

"I don't know! One minute I'm being forced to eat those buns Shampoo made, the next that c-c-c-cat sneezes and next thing I know I'm holding it for dear life!" Ranma answered

"Did Shampoo just fail to hypnotize you?" I wondered

"If she did, then there must have been something that wasn't quite kosher in those buns," Ukyo remarked

"I know a few fictional plants that can be used to hypnotize people, but I don't know about any real world counterparts," Ryu said.

"Well what am I supposed to do? If I'm forced to hold whatever sneezes, then I'm screwed. Kuno's got a cold today! I'm doomed!" Ranma bemoaned his fate, just before we heard a sneeze and caught the smell of pepper. Then, as if he had teleported, Ranma vanished and reappeared a few feet away, holding Shampoo

"That's low, even for you Shampoo," I growled

"Why me?!" Ranma complained, but thankfully, he was saved by the bell. Lunch was over and Shampoo was forced to let him go back to class. Unfortunately, Kuno had no such qualms. Not five minutes after we were back in class, Kuno showed up.

"Saotome, I ch- I challen- I chall- *ACHOO*" With the predictable results. Neither Kuno nor Ranma were happy with the current situation, but Kuno stubbornly continued to try and issue his challenge, which was really an attempt to get Ranma to catch his cold. Eventually, the teacher banished them to the halls to carry buckets, where they stayed for the rest of the day, because Kuno couldn't stop sneezing. I knew the rumor mill would not be kind for the next few weeks.

Eventually, school was over. Ukyo, Ryu and I went to Ucchan's. Ranma couldn't come because the teacher wanted to talk to him. We all had a fairly good idea what the talk was going to be about, and fully expected Ranma to die of embarrassment.

Once we were finished eating, Ryu and I headed to my house, where Kasumi reminded me that everyone else was going to be out of the house and that Ranma, Ryu, and I were going to have to make sure it didn't burn down or something. Just as Kasumi and Nabiki were leaving the house, I sneezed.

"Oh my, I hope you're not coming down with anything," Kasumi said worried

"I'm fine," I assured her, but I had grown genre savvy enough to know that I was in for a long night. I took some cold medicine, in hope of suppressing the sneeze, but it was no use. Eventually, Ranma came home with predictable results.

"Well, this is fun," I deadpanned right after I had sneezed yet again.

"Oh absolutely," Ranma agreed

"Well, while you two are getting cozy, I'm gonna make us some dinner," Ryu remarked, only for a sneeze to be heard a few minutes later.

"I hope this stuff wears off soon," Ranma grumbled

"In hindsight, perhaps using pepper was a poor choice," Ryu added

"Ni hao! Shampoo has brought lots of pepper!" Shampoo called while breaking down the back door. Ranma took that as his cue to spend the night outside. Unfortunately, for him, he happened to cross Kuno during his escape, who dragged him right back to my house. Then, as if to make matters worse, Shampoo force fed me a bun and commanded me that I passionately hug any guy except Ranma, and then rang a gong. Somehow, I ended up embracing Kuno.

After a quick brawl, we managed to kick the intruders out of the house. Now all we had to do was figure out how the cure and we could all go back to our normally scheduled insanity, and not this rather uncomfortable insanity.

Then, as if to add insult to injury, I sneezed, which caused Ranma to spring at me, which disturbed the gong Shampoo had left behind, just as Ryoga walked in.

"I don't know if I should leave and spare the both of you a target, or stay and try to keep you both from going insane," Ryu quipped

"I'm just going to leave now, before this dream turns into a nightmare." Ryoga said, before walking off, stiff as a plank. I almost felt sorry for the idiot.

Then Shampoo and Kuno retuned, each now had a gong. Ryu, being the only one unaffected by any form of hypnosis among the three of us, took out Kuno. Then, with his gong gone, He and I went after Shampoo. Then, Ranma got an idea. In the struggle, he stole one of the buns, and fed it to Shampoo, then ordered her to go away. Soon after, we discovered the effect of the bun had worn off on Ranma. It honestly felt a bit anti-climatic, but I was glad that we didn't have to worry about it.

An hour or so later, the others returned, bearing food…buns, to be precise. Somehow, the three of us didn't want any.

Shampoo's POV

Just because things hadn't worked out when using the mushroom on Ranma, didn't mean I couldn't pick another target for another plan. So, after I returned to the Cat Café, I returned to Akane's house, only this time, I stayed out of sight and waited.

Eventually, my waiting paid off. Ryu left and I followed him to his home. Once I was sure he was alone, I slipped in. After that, I silently found Ryu's room, where he was reading a manga. I stood in the doorway and he looked up.

"Shampoo?! Wh-" He didn't get any farther, as with accuracy honed by years of training, I threw a mini bun into his mouth. He gagged on it for a few moments, trying to spit it out, but it was no use. Ryu was under my command now, and I wouldn't make the same mistakes I made when giving Ranma his post-hypnotic suggestions. This time, my plan would work. The best part? No one would ever know.

And with that, I bid you a good night. Until next time, gentile reader.