"Hey Professor, do I get a free pass for the quiz this week?" I asked Byleth. He shook his head and then gestured at Dimitri and Ashe. "Well, you could give them a free pass too."

It'd been a long day. We were walking to our dorm rooms, after eating dinner together. I wanted to get out of my dirtied, blood-stained clothes, crawl into bed, and pass out. The Ashen Wolves had returned to Abyss. Yuri said that since Aelfric was no longer protecting Abyss, they had a lot of work to do.

"Did you know that Aelfric would betray us?" I asked Byleth. He nodded. "Did you know he'd kidnap me?" Byleth shook his head.

He walked with me to my room, and we stood there. Byleth stared at me for a second, then said, "So you and Yuri are engaged?"

Oh, right. I shook my head. "It's not true."

Byleth's unwavering gaze was unnerving. The way he just stared and stared into my eyes. "But you two seem close," he said.

"We're best friends," I said.

"Not lovers?"

Lovers. The word surprised me so much that I choked on my own saliva. I coughed, hacking into my elbow. "What?" I said, when I could breathe again, and looked at Byleth.

Byleth just looked back. He shrugged. "I thought you two loved each other."

"I do love him," I said. "But it's not a romantic kind of love."

Byleth thought for a moment, tilting his head slightly, resting his cheek against his hand. Then he nodded at me. "I see. Good night then."

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. What? What did he see? Was Byleth interested in Yuri? Would he start hitting on Yuri, now that he knew Yuri and I weren't actually a couple? I shook my head to clear the thoughts away. Byleth was already walking off anyway.

"Good night," I called after him with a wave. He glanced back and waved at me. Then I turned, entered my room, and collapsed on my bed. Everything ached, even after getting healed. I sighed, rolling onto my back. Then I sat up, slowly stripped off my clothes, and put on my pajamas.

Sweet sleep.

On Monday, Professor Manuela informed us of this month's mission: another mock battle, at the Field of Eagle and Lion. The Tuesday quiz turned out fine, though I had to get another copy of the textbook. That thief never returned it - or my sword or knives either. I had to buy new ones.

Tuesday evening, I returned to Abyss to see Rose. This time, the door was locked, and I had to use my spare to enter. Rose looked up at me. She was sitting at the kitchen table, with her hand hovering over a knife on the table. She relaxed once she spotted me and stood up.

"Byleth!" She walked towards me.

"Hey, Rose, just came to check up on you," I said, pulling her into an embrace. "You okay? Those thugs will leave you alone now."

"Of course." She patted my back. "I'm glad you're okay too. I was so worried when they took you away. Thank Goddess you're fine."

We chatted for a bit. We didn't talk about the hostage situation. We talked instead about what Yuri could do now that he was free to leave.

"And right when I was starting to warm up to this place." Rose sighed with a smile on her face. "I hope you two take this opportunity to stop with the thieving, though."

I nodded. "Yeah, if we can get more, um, reputable jobs, I suppose."

I was heading out, when I bumped into Yuri in the doorway. He looked at me, then inside where Rose was, then back at me.

"Hey, Yuri," I said.

"You're not here to see me this time?" he asked with a smirk. I shook my head. "Actually, could we talk?"

"Right now?"

Yuri nodded.

"Okay." I stepped back in the house but Yuri caught my arm.

"Outside," he said. I heard Rose giggle. What was this about? So I followed Yuri out. We walked to the large bridge in Abyss. There was no one here. Yuri leaned against the stone banister.

"What is it?" I rested my arms on the cold stone too.

Yuri gazed out into the darkness below. "Sorry. I thought if we pretended to be engaged, it could protect you from the Church. But, in the end, it just endangered you."

"So? I don't care." I stepped closer to him until our shoulders were touching. I stared at my hands. "I'd die for you, Yuri. I thought you knew that."

"I know, but you shouldn't," he said, words growing sharp. "I'd hate it… if you were to ever die and not take me with you." One of his hands had curled into a fist.

"Did you know what Aelfric was planning? Is that why you told me to stay away?" I asked.

Yuri nodded. "I didn't know what he was planning, but I knew he was planning something. I was watching him, and I didn't want my actions to put you in danger."

"And Rose…"

"Yeah." Yuri shook his head, resting a hand on top of his hair. "Byleth."

"What?" My palms were turning sweaty. I never liked it when Yuri used his serious voice: low, deep, and quiet. I couldn't help but feel like he was going to say something like, "I don't want to ever see you again." Even though I knew that wasn't possible, that it was illogical, that if he were to ever say that to me, I'd see it coming… Right? I fiddled with my fingers, waiting for Yuri's response.

"Just… what am I to you?"

That was easy. "You're my best friend," I said. I thought he knew that too…

Yuri sighed. "Nevermind. I shouldn't have asked." He buried his face into his hands, elbows resting on the banister.

"Yuri." I reached a hand out for his shoulder. "What's going on?"

Yuri straightened up and looked me in the eye. "Nothing. Forget it, Byleth." That was a blatant lie. It had to be. I withdrew my hand.

"So, since we're just friends," Yuri said, now leaning a cheek in his hand. "I can flirt with your brother, right? He's handsome. And incredibly intelligent. Did you see the way he commanded the battle field?" He smirked at me.

I didn't know what to say. I rubbed my left arm with my right hand. "Yeah. Go ahead." I turned away from Yuri, looking off the bridge. "I told him that the engagement thing was a lie, anyway. He was curious." There was a sour taste in my mouth and a knot in my stomach. I could imagine it: Byleth and Yuri flirting with each other, one smiling and the other serious. They would get along.

Yuri was silent too. We stood there. There was someone passing by on the bridge. We waited until their footsteps became distant echoes.

"Is that all?" I asked. I didn't want to press him any further. Yuri could do whatever he wanted, flirt with whomever he wanted. He didn't have to ask for my permission.

"Yeah," Yuri said, quietly. There was a downcast look in his eyes. I'd said something wrong, hadn't I? He didn't want me to say that we were best friends. He wanted something more. I knew that, and yet… and yet…

It felt like someone was twisting a knife in my chest. I swallowed.

"Yuri, you know…" I dug my nails into the palm of my hand. "You know I don't experience romantic attraction."

"I know," he said, almost in a whisper. He turned to me. "I know. But it doesn't change the fact that I…" He looked away again. His Adam's apple bobbed. "It doesn't have to be romantic. Our relationship."

"But, isn't that what we are now?" I asked. I didn't get it. What did Yuri want? And why was he bringing this all up now?

Yuri shook his head. He turned, completely, to face me. "I want to marry you, Byleth."

My jaw dropped. An actual proposal? "But-but that is romantic!"

He shook his head. "It doesn't have to be. I just-" He sighed. "Then, Byleth, what do you want from our relationship?"

"I just want it to stay the same," I said.

"The exact same," Yuri said. I nodded. "So you wouldn't mind if I married someone else?"

Yuri marrying someone else? Again, something in my stomach was rolling around.

"Yuri, why?" I threw my hands down. "Why are we talking about this?"

"Because I don't want us to stay the same."

"You want us to marry," I said, and he nodded. "And? Isn't that just a title? A pair of rings? It wouldn't actually change anything."

"It's not that. I want…" He reached a hand out for mine. I let him take it. "I want people to know how important you are to me. I want to grow old with you, Byleth. I want to be life partners." He squeezed my hand.

I stared at our hands then pulled away, out of his grip. "Yuri… I-I need time to think."

Yuri nodded. "Okay." Then he smiled at me, his usual smirk. "Don't worry. I don't mind waiting."

I didn't like this. Any of this. I was afraid, and I didn't know why. I was confused. I wanted to run away. So that's what I did. I slowly stepped back.

"See you, Yuri," I said, then I was walking away. I didn't wait for his response. Once I'd rounded the corner, I broke into a run. I ran all the way back to my room.

On Wednesday, one of the monastery servants approached me and said, "You're Byleth, right? Lady Rhea wants to speak with you."

"Me?" I pointed at myself. "Not the professor?"

He shook his head. "The student, the sister, Byleth."

I nodded and stood up from where I was reading in the library. "Okay, thank you."

I walked through the hallways to Lady Rhea's audience room. The guards opened the double doors for me. Rhea was looking at an opened book in her hand and glanced up when I walked closer.

"Byleth, thank you for coming," she said with a small smile. She held the book out towards me. "I thought you'd want to see this."

It was a leather-bound notebook with dark ink scrawled across the pages. "What is this?" I asked.

"It's a journal that Aelfric kept," Rhea said. "That page in particular might interest you."

The handwriting was slanted and narrow, so it took me a second to start reading.

"13th of Horsebow Moon, 1163. I haven't heard back from the man I hired to find the twins. He hasn't sent a letter for over two weeks now. I've hired a new scout, and he told me that Jeralt only has one of the kids with him. If that damn thief I hired stole the child from me, I won't rest until I get my hands on him."

I looked up at Rhea, mouth hanging open. "Y-You mean…"

Rhea nodded. "Try the next page as well."

I did. It was a different date.

"29th of Horsebow Moon (9), 1163. Finally found the thief. He told me he'd lost the kid in a fight, had no idea where the kid went. But Jeralt hasn't found the child either. If Sitri's child is dead, I will never be able to forgive myself. Goddess, please save the child."

I swallowed. "So, the reason I was an orphan… Aelfric was responsible?"

"I'm afraid so," Rhea said. "I had Knights search Aelfric's quarters. There are traces of heavy magical protection on the journal, but it all broke once he passed away. I thought you would want to see this. I hope it clears up some questions you might have."

I nodded. "Thank you, Lady Rhea. But, why would he want to kidnap me or my brother?"

"I don't believe Aelfric meant any harm," Rhea said. "Here, try the year 1159, Wyvern Moon."

I flipped through the pages and saw the dates leap backwards in time. Year 1162, then year 1161. Finally, I found a page with the date.

"3rd of Wyvern Moon (10), 1159. Jeralt has vanished with the twins after the great fire. All I'd wanted was to watch them grow up, to take care of them in Sitri's place, but now they're gone. There are so many stories of their mother that I could share with them, but now I can't. I don't know what to do. I miss Sitri so much. Seeing the twins had given me hope. They have such blue hair like Sitri. Oh, Sitri, I wish I could see your smile once more."

I looked up at Rhea. I wasn't sure what to make of this. Aelfric had been in love with my mother. Great. Why did he have to go and kidnap a kid? Did he think that'd do anyone any good?

"There's more." Rhea flipped through the pages again until another date surfaced. "Here."

"19th of Verdant Moon (8), 1162. My scouts have finally found where Jeralt is. He's a mercenary now. I can't believe he's being a mercenary with two kids. There's no way he's raising them well, surrounded by violence and constantly moving homes. I have a plan. I'll take the kids and raise them myself. No, both of them would be too difficult. Just one will do. I'll give them a proper parent and a proper home."

There was more, but it was enough for me. I handed the journal back to Rhea. My stomach was churning.

"Thanks," I said, pushing my hair back. "I've seen enough."

Rhea nodded and passed the notebook to a nearby servant. "That's all I had to share with you."

I bowed my head. "I understand. Have a good day, Lady Rhea." Then I turned and left. My footsteps were short and quick.

I could have had a family. If someone hadn't interfered, thinking he was doing someone favors. Instead, I grew up in a tiny shack with three other kids. I was cold and hungry more times than I wasn't. We helped clean the house and learned to play with sticks and stones, because that was all we had.

I didn't know where I was walking to. I was just walking. I was outside now. I walked towards the pond, thoughts still racing.

I could have had a better life. All this time I'd thought my parents hadn't wanted me, which was why I was at the orphanage. But actually, I did have a parent, who did want me, who'd looked for me, who would have loved me.

My eyes burned with tears. I blinked them back and kept walking towards the monastery gates.

I was adopted once, by a couple who appeared kind and ordinary, when I was eight or nine. The orphanage lady had told me to to be an obedient child, and then I'd have parents and a family. So that was what I did. I was quiet. I ate the food they placed in front of me, which was certainly better than whatever we had at the orphanage. I played with the dolls they gave me, even though I didn't like dolls, because that was what they expected me to do. But when the man got drunk and hit me, I'd hit him back.

They sent me back to the orphanage after that, saying I was a feral, strange child, who was too quiet and emotionless. The orphanage lady had chastised me and said that I wasn't a very good child and that was why they'd sent me back. She'd mentioned how one of the other kids had been adopted a year ago and hadn't returned since. Why couldn't I be more like that kid?

I'd walked outside of the monastery and was now traipsing through the woods. I just wanted somewhere quiet, where no one could find me. The trees grew closer and closer as I went deeper into the forest. Then, when I'd found a very shady spot, I lay down on the grass, arms behind my head.

I stared up at the forest foliage, glimmers of light peeking through.

I remembered learning how to fight because of thugs and bullies. I learned how to claw and bite and kick and punch. It didn't matter how dirty I fought. All that mattered was that they'd leave us alone.

That was how I'd met Yuri too. Some kids were picking on him, saying disgusting things about his mother. I beat them up.

I sighed.

"Woah."

I sat up, hand flying to my sword at my waist. It was a familiar voice, though. Claude stepped into view.

"Fancy running into you here," Claude said, smirking.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I could ask you the same thing."

I rested my arms on my knees. "I just wanted to get away from people."

"Same. I came here to take a nap," Claude said. He dropped down on the ground beside me, stretching his arms out. "This is a nice napping spot." He closed his eyes.

I slowly leaned back down to the ground again too, but it was harder to relax with someone nearby. Especially someone I wasn't close to. But I stayed there, because I didn't know what else to do.

Within a few minutes, Claude's breathing slowed and deepened. I glanced at him. Had he really fallen asleep like that beside me? He must be quite carefree. I went back to staring at the dark leaves above me. The weather was nice. It was a bit cooler in the forest. There was a peaceful wind that rustled the leaves, bushes, and grass. Some birds were chirping.

At least Claude had distracted me. I wasn't fond of remembering the past. There weren't too many good memories, until Yuri, Rose, and I left the village behind.

I thought about how Aelfric had just wanted to take one of us, either of us, and wondered what it would have been like if Byleth had ended up in my position. Would the orphanage lady have called him by my name, whatever that was? Would he have been adopted, successfully, by some family? Would he be best friends with Yuri, too? Would he have survived the plague?

Would I be the professor instead? If I'd grown up thinking of Jeralt as my father, learning how to fight, being a merc, moving from village to village… I wondered if Byleth had made any friends, if he'd used what he could find as toys to play with. Were there any kids in the mercenary group? I doubted it. Maybe he had a lonely childhood...

I found myself closing my eyes too. The grass was tickling my neck. I rolled my head to a more comfortable position. I think I was falling asleep.

"Byleth, hey Byleth, wake up." Claude was shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes and sat up.

"Ugh, what time is it?" I asked, rubbing an eye. It was a lot darker in the forest.

"Late." Claude stood up. "Come on. Let's go back to the monastery."

I yawned, while standing. "Agreed."

Claude led the way. He seemed to have a good idea of where to go. "I'm surprised you fell asleep." He flashed a smile at me. "I was counting on you to wake me up."

"Oh." I rubbed the back of my head. My hair was tangled. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. It was just comfortable."

"So why'd you want to get away from people?" Claude held a tree branch up as he passed under it. I ducked under it too.

"Just wanted some space to think." I rubbed my left arm. It was getting colder. "Do you nap in forests often?"

"Sometimes."

I could see the edge of the forest ahead of us. We stepped out. The sun had set, and the sky was dark. How long had we been there? It was maybe early evening when I'd arrived at the forest, but now it looked almost like night.

We were trekking up the path to enter the monastery's small marketplace. The tents were empty, and the merchants were gone. I contemplated telling Claude that my impression of him had changed and apologizing for judging him so harshly at first. Did he know that I'd been so judgemental with him? Maybe, probably. Would he even care if I apologized? My feet were getting sweaty. I could hear my heart pounding in my chest. I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants.

"You know," I said, and then swallowed. Claude glanced at me then back at our path. I knew what words I was going to say. I just had to say them. "I think I misjudged you." Claude didn't turn back this time. "And I'm sorry about that."

Claude just maintained his smile at me. "No worries. You're not the first one to. That's why I want to change Fodlan's view of outsiders."

"Outsiders?" I wasn't sure what that had to do with this. Sure, Claude was a bit more tan than everyone else. "What?" I furrowed my brows at him.

"Then what did you misjudge me on?" Claude asked, eyes widening.

"I thought you were a flirtatious, selfish person," I said, rubbing my left arm.

He smirked. "You're not wrong."

My throat was dry. I licked my lips. "But I think that's more of an act," I said. We walked up the steps to pass the gates and entered the great hall.

"Oh? Are you sure about that?" Claude winked at me.

"Are you saying you're an outsider? Outsider to what? Nobles? Or Fodlan?"

"Fodlan." Claude nodded.

"Huh," I said. "Then where are you from?"

He smiled. "That's a secret."

We passed through the gardens to reach the dorms. Claude's room was on the second floor. He waved at me. "See you around, Byleth."

"Thanks, Claude." I smiled and waved back.

Claude's eyes widened for a second in surprise, but then he smiled again. This time it felt warmer. "You're an interesting person, Byleth, and I mean that. Good night." Then he walked off.

I returned to my room, stretching my arms and back a bit. I wasn't sleepy after the nap and there was still an assignment due the next day. Sitting down at my desk, I picked up a quill. Though I'd wanted to be alone with my thoughts, having company had been nice, even if it was unexpected. Maybe there was something reassuring about being with someone, like the Goddess was trying to show me that I wasn't alone.

I ruffled my hair and focused on the assignment in front of me. Now wasn't the time to think about this. I'd better start writing.

Thanks for reading! :) Byleth is aromantic asexual.