I didn't visit Abyss during the weekend. Instead, I volunteered to take on Hilda's kitchen duties, since she was feeling under the weather from all the Abyss fighting. I joined Byleth in a Saturday lunch with Dimitri, where Dimitri told us about his plans for the future. It made me feel like Byleth and I were interviewing each of the house leaders, trying to decide who was most suitable to rule.

Dimitri's main goal was to unite Faerghus again. The Kingdom was falling into disarray without a king to lead for so long. Dimitri wanted to aid the poor and underprivileged and wanted to ensure the nobles were doing their job and taking care of the common folk. Overall, perhaps not as grand of a goal as Edelgard or Claude's, but it was also the most realistic and feasible.

"Are you interested in the Kingdom, Professor?" Dimitri asked, a small glimmer in his blue eyes.

Byleth nodded. "I'm interested in all the countries."

I tried not to laugh. It reminded me of shooting someone's flirtatious advances down. I glanced at Dimitri. The sparkle was still in his eyes. He didn't look disappointed or discouraged.

Afterwards, I went to the library to study and work on my assignments with my classmates. We got dinner together and then walked back to our dorm rooms. I continued on my assignments, in my own room, but alone, my thoughts kept wandering back to my conversation with Yuri.

I sighed, resting my face in my hands. I didn't know what I wanted. I just wanted things to stay the same. Was that so wrong? But if Yuri were to fall in love with someone else, if he were to marry someone else… Would we still be able to stay as we were now? Would I be able to go looking for him, whenever I wanted to, for a hug? Would he still worry about me like he did now?

Or would his attention be diverted to his spouse?

I swallowed. Tears welled up in my eyes. I hated this. I hated this. It felt like I was being penned in. Like someone was pointing a blade at me, telling me I had to choose. I didn't want Yuri to leave me. I never did. If he married someone else, wouldn't he leave me? He'd leave me for his spouse.

But if I married Yuri… what if we got in a fight? What if Yuri decided, nevermind, I don't want to do this, and then left me?

I suppose neither situation led to a win. I wanted us to stay the same because the same was safe. Yuri wouldn't leave me, if we stayed as we were. But now he was saying he would, or he could, and I hated it. How could he push me like this? Even though he knew…

I found myself walking outside. The cool, fresh air on my face felt like a refreshing hug. I walked past the student dorms to where the professors stayed. I found Byleth's room and knocked. Maybe he was asleep. Why was I going to him, anyway? I turned around, about to return to my room, when the door opened.

"Byleth?"

I turned back around. Too late. I smiled at Byleth, while chuckling sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head. "Can we talk?" I asked.

Byleth nodded and stepped aside for me to enter.

His room was warm and cozy. The desk was covered in books and paper and broken quills. To the side of his desk was another pile of books. His bed was messy. There was a private bathroom off to the side. Byleth sat down on his bed and gestured at the desk chair. I sat down.

He stared at me and waited.

I cleared my throat. My palms were sweaty. "Uh…" I swallowed. I wasn't sure why I'd come to him. "Um… do you think it's possible to completely understand someone?"

Byleth thought in his thinking pose, gazing vaguely upwards. Then he shrugged. "I don't know."

The words sank into me. He didn't know… I thought Byleth knew everything. Or close to everything. He could predict the future, couldn't he?

I sighed. "It's just… I wish I could. You know? I wish I could understand someone, completely. Entirely."

Byleth nodded, as if he understood.

More than that, I wished I could understand and accept someone, completely, entirely. But I couldn't bring myself to say that to Byleth. I stood up. "Sorry. It's late. You were probably asleep." I shouldn't be here.

Byleth stood up and shook his head. "You can tell me, whatever it is," he said.

I looked him in the eye, a slightly darker shade of blue than mine. Then I looked down at the floor. It'd be too difficult to explain everything - to explain who I was and what Yuri meant to me. I shook my head. I moved towards the door.

"Byleth," he said, voice quiet and gentle. "I'm here and I'll be here for you, whatever it is and whenever."

I swallowed. My heart was squeezing too tightly, like it would burst any second. "Thanks," I said. The words felt thick in my throat. "I-" I lowered my head. I was shaking. Oh Goddess. Maybe that was all I needed to hear. I hugged myself. I couldn't go to Rose, because she was in Abyss and it was about Yuri, and I couldn't go to Yuri, because he was the problem. But they were the only two I ever knew to confide in.

Byleth touched my arm. It was a light tap. I looked up at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

I went back to gazing at the wooden planks below my feet. "How much do you know about Yuri?"

"Adopted by Count Rowe, mother was a prostitute, has the Crest of Aubin, nineteen-years-old, skilled at sword and light magic, an excellent tactician, and has a sweet tooth." Byleth spoke like he was reading off of a grocery list.

That was a decent amount.

I nodded. My arms tightened around myself. "I used to think that I understood Yuri like he was a part of me, like another half of me. Then, he was adopted by Count Rowe, and I only got to see him once a month. And he never told me the specifics of what he did there, living under Count Rowe's house. He was always vague about it. After that… since that, I feel like he's so much harder to read. But I wish I could, you know? I wish I could still read him the way I used to…" I bit my bottom lip. What was I saying? "Sorry. I'm rambling."

Byleth was shaking his head. "It's okay. Thanks for confiding in me." There was a small smile on his face.

"You wouldn't have any advice would you?" I said. I'd stopped shaking. "I guess I didn't even tell you what's wrong. Nevermind. It'd be too difficult to explain."

"That's okay. Why don't you talk to Yuri? You can still learn to understand him again," Byleth said. He was right, but talking to Yuri right now, when I didn't know what to do or what I wanted…

I nodded. "Yeah, eventually. I just- I need some time to think." I was backing up towards the door again. Byleth had one outstretched hand, but he withdrew it again. I opened the door. "Thanks, Byleth." I tried to smile at him.

"Anytime," he said, smiling back.

I closed the door behind me. It was dark out, and the air felt even chillier than before. I hurried back to my room.

The next weekend, I was pacing near the tunnel entrance to Abyss, trying to gather enough courage to go see Yuri. I walked past the tunnel, stopped, turned, and walked back. What if Yuri was busy? No, that wasn't the problem. My stomach was tossing and turning. In truth, I didn't want to go see him. But I knew avoiding him would lead to nothing.

There were footsteps coming from the tunnel. I dove off to the side, near the stairs that led to the spa. I glanced over the edge to see who it was. And, Goddess, it was Yuri.

I gulped, leaning against the wall. Should I step out now? His footsteps grew louder as he approached. Should I see where he's going?

Then, Yuri popped his head into view. I jumped, yelping.

"Goddess, Yuri!" I said.

"Sorry, Byleth," he said, laughing. "But I could tell someone was here."

"What kind of sixth sense do you have?" I stepped back. My heart was still pounding loudly in my chest. I let out a sigh.

"Sorry," he said again. "Sorry, for what I said too."

Oh. Right. I shook my head. "No-"

"You're afraid, right? I made you afraid." Yuri shook his head, pressing a hand over his eye. He sighed. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said those things."

So he knew. My shoulders relaxed, a bit. Maybe I was easier to read than Yuri was. I rubbed my left arm. "Yuri… Can we talk?"
"Aren't we already?" Yuri smirked at me. I smiled back. We walked to a bench in the gardens, between the dorms and the cafeteria. It was a sunny afternoon.

After we sat down, I stared at my hands. "I thought about what I want… from you. Or, uh, from our relationship." My cheeks felt warm. "And, well, Yuri, you're the most important person in this world to me. And I just want to be the most important person in this world to you." I swallowed.

"You already are," Yuri said. I glanced at him. Under the soft rays of sunlight, Yuri's hair looked like flower petals. He smiled at me. I looked away.

"Then, why does it matter what we label ourselves for others?" I stared at my fists resting on my knees.

"I thought about what I said some more, too, and I don't think I conveyed things very well. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was trying to put a nice label on us for others. You know me, Byleth." Yuri smirked at me. "I usually have a plan. Turns out just spewing words at you isn't the best plan."

I clasped my hands together and waited for Yuri to finish explaining.

"To me, marriage is a promise to be life partners, to not leave each other, to grow old together. Of course, I thought it'd have the added benefit of getting people who might be interested in you to leave you alone." Yuri shrugged. "Like Claude."

"Claude's not interested in me," I said, sounding incredulous. "He's just interested in my skills, and my brother, and what he thinks I can provide to the Alliance."

Yuri raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure about that?"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Anyway, you were saying?"

"I was saying… you're not the only one afraid of being abandoned," Yuri said. "It's just a promise, a pledge."

I stared at my feet. But what if you fall in love with someone else? What if you realize that you could have so much more with someone else? What if you feel chained to me? What if you feel like I'm just dragging you down?

"Byleth?" Yuri was waiting. His hand was on the bench, near me but not quite touching.

"Yuri…" Of course I'd love to grow old with you. That was the plan all along, if you didn't leave me. I thought you knew that. Wasn't it an unspoken promise? I pulled my knees up onto the bench and wrapped my arms around them.

"Byleth," Yuri said. I buried my head into my knees.

I don't know. I don't know.

"Byleth, you okay?" Yuri said again.

There were footsteps coming closer. "Byleth? Are you all right?" A different voice. I glanced up to see Mercedes and Annette staring at me with concern.

"Is this man bothering you?" Annette asked, in a whisper, cupping her mouth, though Yuri could definitely hear her.

I shook my head. "N-No, I'm okay." I smiled at them. "I'm fine, haha, just… you know. Cold." That was obviously a lie. I was sweating a bit from the warm sun. "He's a friend," I said, gesturing at Yuri.

Yuri stood up. "Yuri Leclerc." He held a hand out towards Mercedes, who shook it cautiously.

"Mercedes von Bartels."

Yuri held his hand out towards Annette, who shook his hand enthusiastically, "I'm Annette Dominic. You better not be hurting Byleth!"

Yuri glanced at me, and I just tried to smile. "H-He's not. We're, um… I'm, uh, fine!"

"If you say so," Annette said. She gave Yuri a good glare.

"We're talking about some stuff," I said. "I was just thinking."

"Hmm, okay," Mercedes said, patting my shoulder. "Then we'll get going." She nudged Annette away.

Annette waved at me, as they walked off. "See you later, Bylie!"

I waved them goodbye. Yuri sat back down.

"Sorry," I said.

"No, I'm glad you've found some good friends." Yuri smiled at me. "Bylie."

I shook my head. "Yuri, I don't want you to regret this," I said.

"And why would I?" His smile grew wider. "You think I don't know what I want? Don't look down at me, Byleth, or yourself. I know… I want to stay by your side." Then his eyes darkened, and he looked away. "Byleth, when I was living with Count Rowe… you have no idea how much I missed you."

I rested my hands beside me on the bench and stretched my legs out in front of me. "I missed you a lot, too. It felt like I was losing you. Like we were growing apart. And I didn't like that, or want that, but I also didn't know what to do. It's just…" I sighed. "It's easier to pull away, you know? It's easier to not let myself be so emotionally invested. That way, if you do leave me, it would hurt less."

"I don't want to leave you, Byleth. That's what I've been trying to say."

"I know."

"Then?" Yuri glanced at me.

"Well, I don't want to get married yet. I'm still young," I said and smiled at him. "Give me like five years."

Yuri smiled at me. "Really?"

I nodded. "Really."

"Can I hug you?" Yuri asked. I nodded, and he threw his arms around me. When he pulled away, he was smirking. His face was inches from mine. "Are you sure you won't regret this?"

"Of course." I smiled back. "I was planning on staying with you until you got rid of me. And you can't get rid of me so easily."

Yuri pulled me into a hug again. I wrapped my arms around him. "Good," he said. "Does that mean you'll start visiting Abyss again?" I nodded, my chin digging into his shoulder. "Great. You wouldn't believe how much of an earful my mother gave me when you didn't show up last week. Kept saying that I was too rude to you and now she had to pay the price too."

I laughed, drawing away. "Really?" I said. Yuri nodded. "Sorry, I didn't mean to avoid you, or Rose, or Abyss." I fiddled with my hair.

"It's okay." Yuri took my hand. "Don't worry about it, Byleth. I understand." I smiled and squeezed his hand.

"Okay."

We travelled into Empire territory for the mock battle. The Academy had prepared carriages for us to ride, four students a carriage. When we arrived, we organized into our classes, and trumpets kickstarted the battle. Whichever class took out the most units would win. Although my classmates and I had all grown stronger since the previous mock battle, the other houses had grown stronger too. Byleth especially.

This time, all the students and professors were on the field.

My class took the west side of the field. Byleth's red house took the south end, and the yellow house was on the east side. Dimitri led our class's attack. We moved east first, towards the Golden Deer.

Hilda, Lorenz, Marianne, and Ignatz were holding the east line, while Lysithea, Leonie, Raphael, and Professor Hanneman were facing the south. Dimitri and Dedue led our attack. My sword clashed with Hilda's axe.

Byleth's class engaged with the other Golden Deer students. Claude was taking shots at them from where he stood behind the others.

Dimitri had defeated Lorenz. Dedue was fighting Ignatz, and Marianne was retreating. I knocked Hilda's axe back. Ashe was shooting arrows at her from behind me. It didn't feel like a fair fight.

Byleth's class had broken through the yellow house line and was now battling Felix, Sylvain, and Ingrid. Annette and Mercedes were backing them up with magic.

I took another swing at Hilda.

"Ow!" she said.

"Sorry." I grimaced. Ashe landed another arrow on Hilda, and our combined attacks were enough to knock her out. Hilda retreated.

"Ashe, go support the south side. Byleth, Annette, come with us!" Dimitri told me. He and Dedue had just finished off poor Marianne, but Ferdinand and Bernadetta had defeated Professor Hanneman. Mercedes was healing Dedue. "We'll take care of Claude."

"Not so fast." Edelgard and Byleth stepped in between us and Claude. "We're taking out Claude."

"Really?" Claude said and fired an arrow at Byleth. Byleth dodged it though. Dimitri took on Edelgard, while Dedue battled Byleth. Annette was blasting fireballs at Edelgard, which did wonders against Edelgard, who was weak against magic.

I joined Dedue in fighting Byleth, but Dorothea and Bernadetta were moving to back them up.

"Ouch. Agh!"

There was lots of noise coming from Sylvain. I'd hit Byleth once, when Bernadetta's arrow whizzed by me, grazing my shoulder. Oh boy. I glanced to check out the situation. Sylvain was retreating, defeated by Hubert and Caspar. Petra and Ferdinand were fighting Ingrid and Felix. Lindhardt was yawning while taking turns healing his classmates.

"Focus, Byleth!" Dimitri said.

Ashe was trying to defeat Bernadetta. Dorothea was blasting Dedue with magic. I could hear Caspar charging towards me. I blocked his attack with my sword. Hubert had stayed behind to turn the tides in their favor.

"Take this!" Caspar said and swung again. I dodged this time. Then I dashed for him and struck him with my sword. Caspar stumbled back a few steps, before rushing at me again with his axe. This time, I wasn't quite fast enough, and his blade scraped my thigh. Ouch. I bit my lip and hit him back, landing a blow on his chest.

Felix was down, but not before taking Ferdinand out. Ashe's attention was on Hubert now, and Mercedes was busy healing Dimitri.

A fireball flew past me and hit Caspar. That did some good damage. I took the opportunity to hit him on the arm. Then, a dark magic spell hit me. I couldn't breathe for a second. When I looked up, I saw Hubert standing behind Caspar. Lindhardt was healing Caspar. Oh no.

We fought a bit longer. Ingrid came to my rescue, after she and Ashe defeated Petra.

"Sorry, everyone, I'm going to have to retreat," a voice came from behind me. When I looked over, Dimitri was leaning against his lance, face pale and sweating. Dedue wasn't looking much better. Mercedes's eyebrows were furrowed in worry.

The Black Eagles were gaining strength in numbers. Edelgard plowed past Dedue to attack Annette. Byleth and Dorothea finished off Dedue. I took out Caspar, but had trouble dodging Hubert's attacks.

I took quick inventory. Ingrid was still in. Annette was in trouble. Mercedes too. Ashe was helping them with Edelgard. We could still take on Hubert, Dorothea, and Bernadetta. Edelgard and Byleth? They'd be a lot more difficult.

Byleth's attention was moving towards Claude now.

I moved towards my classmates, while yelling, "Ashe, take out Dorothea! Ingrid, get Bernie. I'll stall Edelgard."

Annette ran past me while flinging fireballs behind her at Edelgard. Nice. Then I saw Lindhardt some distance behind Edelgard, healing her. Not so great. Edelgard's axe met my sword with a heavy clang. I couldn't underestimate her.

Mercedes was healing Annette, and Annette was fighting Hubert. Ferdinand and Byleth had left us to finish Claude and Raphael off.

I gritted my teeth and pushed Edelgard back. She blocked my next attack with her shield. Darn. I dodged Edelgard's next swing. She was strong, but at least she wasn't as fast as Byleth.

"Dorothea and Bernadetta are down," Annette called from behind me. "Sorry!" I couldn't look behind me but it sounded like Ferdinand was back.

Edelgard swung her axe again, and this time hit me square in the gut. Oof. I stumbled backwards a bit, almost falling, but regained my balance. I blocked Edelgard's next attack. I couldn't land a single attack on her.

"Annette, can you help me here?" I asked.

"I'm out!" Annette replied. "Ferdinand got me."

Ashe was yelling, and Mercedes was saying, "Oh no!" That didn't sound good.

"Ashe, go help Byleth," Ingrid said. She sounded out of breath.

"Got it!" Ashe said.

Unfortunately, Ashe's arrows weren't much more effective against Edelgard than my sword was. At least they diverted her attention for a second, giving me an opening to hit her in the side.

"Oof." Edelgard's eyes narrowed, and she swung at me. I jumped to the side. The axe sliced the air near my head. Oh wow. I think I almost died.

"Claude's out," someone announced. That wasn't good. Glancing around the field, I could see Byleth and Hubert were moving to join Ferdinand. We were outnumbered.

"Got him," Ingrid said, finishing Ferdinand off with a swift strike of her lance. Mercedes healed Ingrid up then started healing me. Byleth immediately engaged with Ingrid, their blades clashing. Hubert was trying to take Mercedes out.

"Ashe, get Lindhardt," I said. I dodged another one of Edelgard's attacks. Ashe nodded and ran around Edelgard and me.

"Wait!" Edelgard turned to chase after them. Her armor clanked loudly. I ran after her too and struck her shoulder with my sword.

"Don't turn your back on me," I said. Ashe and Lindhardt were fighting behind her now. I couldn't let her get to Ashe.

Edelgard took a step back, then lunged forward with a heavy strike. Oh no. I tried to block, but she still knocked me off my feet. I landed on the ground and quickly rolled back onto my feet before Edelgard could hit me.

She swung again. My back bumped into Ingrid's.

"Wah!" Ingrid was shouting. I felt her back slip down. I attacked Edelgard, but she blocked it. Darn it. I couldn't get a single blow in.

"Ingrid's out," Mercedes said, quietly. Byleth and Hubert wasted no time in taking Mercedes out. Uh oh.

"I got Lindhardt!" Ashe said. I was backing away from the three. Ashe ran to my side. "Oh no."

"Just stay behind me," I said, "and try to get Hubert, if you can."

Of course, trying to block and dodge Byleth and Edelgard's attacks was near impossible. I managed to hit Byleth once in the arm, and Edelgard once more on her shin, before Byleth slashed me across the stomach.

"You don't make this easy," he said, lowering his sword.

Ow ow ow ow ow. I tried to take deep breaths. I glanced down at the red line running across my belly. Warm blood was oozing out onto my hand. "You don't go easy on me either," I said, breath ragged.

"Byleth, you okay?" Ashe said. Hubert hit him with a magic blast and that took him out. We walked together to the medical tent set up off the field. The rest of the students were sitting nearby, watching.

Dimitri was shaking his head. "If I had been more careful, we would have stood a better chance."

I shook my head too. "Trying to win against Byleth is impossible."

"Well, certainly with that attitude," Dimitri said.

I suppose he was right. I sat down on a bench, and one of the nurses started healing me. If I thought we weren't going to win, then it'd just be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Annette sat down besides me and poked my shoulder. "Hey, isn't that your friend?" She pointed behind us. I turned my head to see. It was Yuri, in a nurse uniform, healing Lindhardt. What was he doing here?

"You all right, Byleth?" Mercedes asked, taking the seat on the other side of me.

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks. Nice job, you two."

"Did you two talk things out?" Annette asked.

"Yeah." I clasped my hands together. "We did. Thanks." I smiled at them.

The nurse finished healing me. My stomach had stopped bleeding, but the cut still felt tender. I leaned back on my hands with a quiet sigh.

Lady Rhea was declaring the Red House as victors of the mock battle. The nurses were making sure everyone was healed up enough to return to the monastery. Once we were ready to depart, we all shuffled back towards the horses. There was talk of a grand feast in the cafeteria together.

It was time to return to the monastery.

Thanks for reading!