With great literary power comes no responsibility.
Disclaimer: I do not have great literary powers. I also don't have the ownership of Ranma 1/2.
Ryu's POV
In all the time since Ranma has lived in Nerima, I have noticed a lot of issues that seem to crop up around him can and have been solved with a slight application of common sense. A secret, fascist group/cult dedicated to making sure Jusenkyo curses were used "appropriately" is not one of those issues. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
It all started when I reported to the Cat Café for my usual dose of mushroom and I noticed neither Shampoo nor Mousse was there and the old ghoul didn't know where they were either, when I asked her after eating one of the pre-prepared mushrooms that Shampoo kept in case of emergency.
I suddenly got the feeling like someone was walking over my grave, so I rushed over to Ukyo's place and got her before we headed over to the Tendo Compound. As luck would have it, we arrived just as Cologne did, so we entered and she told everyone that Shampoo and Mousse were missing.
"And here I was hoping Shampoo and Son-in-Law had run off together and eloped…" Cologne fake-sighed before cackling.
"You wish!" Ranma barked.
"Having Genma as your father makes you capable of just about anything. Why, just look at poor Ukyo here," Happosai remarked.
"I hate to admit it, Ranchan, but he does have a point," Ukyo shrugged.
"Aw, come on Ucchan, not you too!" Ranma groused, but before we could continue our conversation, we heard Genma screaming. We all rushed up the stairs and burst down the door, only to find the room empty and a perfectly round hole in the wall.
We looked out the wall and saw possibly one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen in my entire life: A giant of a man, swinging around a giant sword fast enough to achieve flight, while carrying Genma in his panda form and a smaller man. All the while, the man was laughing like a loon.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say the Cult of the Muscle Sword was involved," Cologne said after examining the hold.
"Cult of the who now?" I asked.
"The Cult of the Muscle Sword is one of China's most ancient disciplines. By treating ones sword as an extension of oneself, they become nearly inviciable," Cologne explained.
"If they're strong enough to fly with a sword while carrying a panda I don't think I wanna tangle with that guy." I deadpanned.
"What's this?" Scarlet bent down and picked up what looked to be an armband of some kind off the floor. Cologne snatched it from her hand.
"The secret Jusenkyo preservation society!" Cologne exclaimed.
"If they're a part of Jusenkyo, how come we've never heard of them before?" Ranma asked.
"Because they're a secret society, stupid. Nobody knows what their true purpose is, not even me! All I know is that if you violate their 'Jusenkyo Code' they come after you."
"That makes me think this 'code' is arbitrary and senseless," Ukyo quipped.
"Whatever the case, they've taken the panda and probably Shampoo and Mousse too," Cologne sighed.
"So what do we do now? He may be a bastard, but he's still my dad," Ranma said.
"Follow me, I've got an idea!" Happosai suddenly piped up. We were immediately suspicious, but since none of us had a plan, we followed him to the school. All the way to the girl's locker room, where Happosai splashed Ranma and ordered him to start taking gym shorts.
"Seems to me this is just another one of your underwear raids," Ukyo growled, reaching for her battle spatula threateningly.
"Now just hold your horses, if there's one thing those jerks from Jusenkyo can't stand, it's those who violate their code of morals, ethics, and decency! If this doesn't get them to show up, I don't know what will!" Happosai promised, but the fact he was dressed up in his 'thief' getup wasn't inspiring faith. Just as we were about to ditch the old creep, however, the Jusenkyo guys showed up.
"You know, that wall you just broke down is public property," I pointed out mildly.
"So there, next time maybe you'll believe what your elders are telling you!" Happosai crowed. I'm still more inclined to believe it was a coincidence that worked out in Happosai's favor. The old freak then snatched the gym shorts in Ranma's hands and took off.
Before we could follow him, the shorter of the Jusenkyo men started rambling off about rules Ranma had broken but was cut off by the Muscle Sword guy charged Ranma. Thankfully Ranma was very nimble and dodged out of the way and as we got into position for a fight, he tossed a bucket of water at the Muscle Sword guy, and that was how we found out his greatest weakness: The Muscle Sword guy had a Jusenkyo curse. His curse was from the Spring of Drowned Buddhist Priest. To be honest, it was kinda freaky. It seemed like they were two completely different people, to the point where the Priest persona had no idea he had torn up the place as the Muscle Sword guy.
"Hey, wait a second, isn't he breaking your stupid rules?!" Ranma demanded.
"But priests are good for society!" The Jusenkyo guy protested.
"Or you just ignore it because he's useful to you," I guessed cynically. That was when we realized that the man was little more than a toady and was utterly defenseless without the Muscle Sword guy to protect him. He seemed to realize that as well, because he burst through the shoddy repair job the Priest was working on.
"Oh, oh how dreadful…doesn't he know that buildings are build from wood and wood comes from living trees? Oh, we must thank the tree for-" Ranma cut him off at that point.
"Stop thanking the dumb trees and help me find my father!"
"Father?" The Priest asked dumbly. Further questioning revealed he did, in fact, know where Genma, as well as Mousse and Shampoo were being held. So we followed him to a cave a few miles out from Tokyo and found the Toady beating up on Genma with some kind of device with boxing gloves attached. As soon as we made ourselves know, via Ranma clocking the guy, he bolted again.
"Oh you poor, dumb beast, let me set you free!" The Priest said and we snickered at how unintentionally right he was.
[Ha ha, very funny]
"It only hurts so much because it's the truth," I sniped at him. That's when we heard Shampoo meowing. We 'borrowed' the keys from the Priest and headed deeper into the cave. There we found not only Shampoo and Mousse, but also Ryoga. I found Ryoga's inclusion somewhat strange, given he had been behaving himself since I busted him, but maybe the Jusenkyo Preservation Society didn't know that. Or maybe they just locked up everyone with a Jusenkyo curse and made up a reason for it later.
As we were trying to make good our escape, we found that the Priest had been turned back into the Muscle Sword guy, probably by the Toady. I started kicking myself for not bringing along some water for such an event, but then Muscle Sword started spinning his sword around and the rock over the cave entrance just kinda…fell apart, trapping us inside while they had their wicked ways with Genma. Normally I wouldn't be opposed to Genma being used as a punching bag, but we had to set a precedent for how these Jusenkyo Preservation guys interacted with us Nerimians.
Thankfully there was another way out of the cave and we soon found the Jusenkyo guys dunking Genma, pulling him back up to douse him with warm water, before dunking him again. Apparently they were trying to get Genma to control the curse so he didn't transform with cold water. More likely, I felt, was that they were just a bunch of sadists and got their jollies off of picking on people for no reason other than that they had Jusenkyo curses.
"We gotta save him!" Ranma growled.
"But how? I don't think we're going to get as lucky as the last time." Scarlet pointed out.
"We have to distract them somehow," Ukyo suggested.
"Distract who?" We all turned slowly to the sound of the voice. Somehow Muscle Sword had snuck up on us. Ranma, ever quick on his feet, kicked a stone at Muscle Sword and while he was chopping the rock to dust, Ryoga, Mousse, and Shampoo were able to flee.
"So, the little ones got away…no matter, we can just catch 'em again. As for you four, however, you'll do as I say or it's the end of the line for the panda, got it?" I hated the feeling of helplessness I felt right then, but we knew that without water handy, had no hope of fighting this guy. So we came along quietly and were all tied up and thrown in the drink.
[Have you come to rescue me?]
"Gee Pop, I don't know, what's it look like to you?" Ranma sneered.
"You're as stubborn as the other one!" The Toady exclaimed.
"Well what do you expect? If it were really that easy, you'd have done it to meathead so he wouldn't turn into a priest!" Ukyo shouted back up at them. They ignored her.
"Don't you know it's all in your mind?" They hoisted Ranma back up and poured hot water on him before dunking him again.
"You know, if it wasn't for being tied up and all, this might be somewhat relaxing," Scarlet remarked.
"Oh wow, I'm so glad you're having a good time," Ranma said with a false brightness after his fourth trip back into the water.
"We are being held under threat of bodily harm or worse," I pointed out.
"Yeah, well, I've got an idea," Ranma told us and as he was being pulled back up, he kicked at the water and was able to splash some up onto Muscle Sword and trigger the curse. However, before the Priest could hoist Ranma up, Toady poured hot water on him. It was a valiant attempt.
[Welcome back?]
"That's it!" Whatever Ranma was going to say after that was cut off as both he and Genma were lifted up again.
"I'll train the twos of ya at the same time!" Muscle Sword declared. That was when Shampoo returned and attacked Muscle Sword. In the confusion, Toady was knocked into the water and Ranma was able to get himself and Genma free. However, just as it looked like things were turning around, Genma decided to flee and save his own hide.
"GENMA SAOTOME, YOU TREACHEROUS BASTARD!" I roared and was echoed by Scarlet and Ukyo.
Thankfully our troubles didn't last much longer than that. Ranma was able to outwit Muscle Sword, who overcommitted to an attack and so Ranma was able to grab on to take him off balance and send them both careening into the water. Thankfully all the hot water had cooled when Toady had gotten dunked, so Priest was here to stay for awhile and thankfully got rid of that huge sword for good after seeing the destruction he had wrought with it as his other self.
A few minutes later, Genma returned, in human form, with rope and hoisted us all up to safety. I was about ready to punch Genma in the face when he did something unexpected. He accepted blame for something!
"I'm sorry, this is my fault. If I hadn't insisted on training at Jusenkyo, none of this would have happened. Can you forgive me?" I, for one, was shocked speechless. Ranma, on the other hand, was not so crippled.
"Of course I forgive you Pop," Ranma said.
"Really? Do you mean it?" Genma asked with tears in his eyes.
"Awww, who am I kidding? Of course I hold it against you! What do I look like, a priest?!"
"No, but at the moment, you'd make a pretty fine Nun," Ukyo joked. Ranma just glared at her with cold, dead looking eyes.
"You're gonna pay for that one Ucchan."
"I'm just calling it like I see it," Ukyo grinned unrepentantly.
"I think you'd look pretty in black and white," Scarlet added unhelpfully.
"AHHHHH! With friends like you, who needs enemies?" Ranma groused. I was content to just sit back and listen to the two girls pick on Ranma. I was more concerned with what to do next time, and I didn't doubt there would be a next time, a ridiculously overpowered opponent showed up. Winning through a fluke and luck made me distinctly uncomfortable. Given the options, I was seriously considering putting aside my personal disgust and asking Happosai to teach me. Whatever I ended up choosing, I just had to hope it would be enough.
Hey, I managed to keep my promise and have this up in a somewhat reasonable timeframe. Go me! Next chapter is one I have been looking forward to for a looooonnng time. I also just noticed that Curiosity is 4 years old today…I suck. Anyway, many thanks to RCPMione, James Birdsong, and Guest for reviewing. It means a lot to me. Also thanks to Fyeten and Robertroy1 for following and Robertroy1 for the Favorite.