Warning: torture / experimentation. This chapter is pretty dark, so please skim/skip if you don't feel comfortable.
Excruciating pain. I screamed because that was the only thing I could do. I shivered and sweated and shook. It felt like my skin was on fire, like I was melting from the inside. Sometimes, it hurt so much that I passed out. Most of the time, I wasn't conscious. I'd wake up to Solon pouring a vulnerary down my throat.
Sometimes, I could feel healing magic on me, but it didn't feel like healing magic. Healing magic was usually warm, light, and soothing. This kind of healing was cold, almost clinical. I didn't know why.
One day, I heard Solon's voice. "I think I've figured out why you're so resilient against my poisons. You were at that village, weren't you? Oh, what was its name?"
It felt like a thousand needles were under my skin, stabbing my insides. My vision was blurry. I rolled my head to the side. Village?
"It was about ten or so years ago. They called it a plague, but it was a poison I'd made. It looks like the antibodies in your blood have mutated to resist against my other poisons."
Plague… Solon was responsible for that?
"Or is it because of Seiros? But what is she doing here? Hmm… How fascinating," Solon said. "I heard everyone at that village died. I wonder how much you can handle." His laughter sent a chill up my spine.
My vision was clearing up, but the pain wasn't. Solon was leaning over me with a sneer and a needle. Oh Goddess. I closed my eyes, so I wouldn't have to see the needle jabbing into my arm.
It didn't take long for me to fall unconscious again.
There was one day, when I was conscious, that I saw the strange girl again. Short, wavy orange hair, red eyes, black lips. She was staring at me.
"Oh, you woke up?" She smiled at me. Her voice was shrill. I didn't like it. She walked around where I lay to sit down on a chair nearby. "Tell me, what's the real name of the mockingbird? And why would you know that?"
Real name? My head was still foggy. Of the mockingbird…
"Your fiancee asked me," the girl said, crossing her legs.
Ah, Yuri. That was code for his real name. Yuri wasn't the first of his fake names. Back when we were kids and scammed rich people for a living, he'd adopted all sorts of fake names.
"No idea," I said. My voice was hoarse.
The girl laughed. I didn't get why these people were so amused about everything. "Oh, you're a terrible liar," she said.
Well, that was true.
"Whatever." She crossed her arms and leaned back. "He said I made a terrible Byleth. Well, who wants to be you? You look so boring. Ugh, I couldn't even get a kiss from him. You have such a boring fiancee."
Kiss? Boring?
The door opened and closed while Solon walked in. "Kronya, what are you doing here?" he asked. Oh, that was her name. She tried to kiss Yuri? I didn't get what was going on. My head was aching now, and I felt light-headed. If this wasn't hell, then I didn't know what could be.
"I came to see how your experiment is going," Kronya said, standing up. Her outfit was ridiculous. Wasn't she cold like that?
"It's going fine. Now stop disturbing my specimen."
I wanted to vomit. I chose to scream instead. Goddess, get me out of this place.
"Now let's see. If you're awake, you must have recovered," Solon said. He lifted my left arm up, which was still numbed. Dark green lines covered my arm.
"Let me go," I said.
"Just wait." Solon dropped my arm and turned towards his desk. "I won't kill you. I need you to bait out your brother, after all."
Bait out Byleth? Why? For what?
"You can't," I said.
Solon laughed. His back was against me. I writhed against the restraints, but nothing worked. I clamped my teeth on the fabric and pulled. Nothing.
"You have excellent timing. I've finished developing a third version." Solon held a needle up and smiled at me. "Why don't we try it out?"
"No," I said and watched as he injected my left arm with a strange red liquid. My vision flashed red, my head spun, and then everything was dark again.
The days were blurry. When I was awake, I couldn't tell what time it was. There weren't any signs of sunlight here. Sometimes, I'd wake up and be alone in a dark room. I thought that was most likely night, but then Solon would walk in and I wasn't sure. But maybe he preferred to work at night. I didn't know.
They didn't serve me any food. They kept me alive with magic potions instead. The smell of medicinal herbs made me gag, and my empty stomach would churn. One time, I threw up over the bed. The room reeked for days.
When I did wake up and needed to go to the bathroom, Kronya would go with me. It was hard to walk straight. I was often too light headed, and Kronya would half carry me there. In this state, trying to escape would be too difficult.
I still did though. When we were walking back, I tried to move down the hallway, not towards the door that'd lead me back to hell. Kronya had a firm grip on my shoulder and steered me back to the door. I dropped my knees and fell to the floor, then rolled, away.
"Hey!" Kronya raced after me. I was dizzy. I tried to sit up. I'd reached the end of the hallway. Even if it was just to see what was there…
Another hallway with more dark walls. I tried to get up and run, but the best I could do was crawl. Kronya was catching up to me, so I reached for my boot and pulled a knife out. Kronya tackled me to the floor. I cut her arm, and she screamed. Blood dripped onto the floor.
"Where did you get that?" she shrieked. She was on top of me, wrestling with my arms. I bit her arm, and she screamed again, releasing my wrists. I tried to sit up and stab her again. She glared at me and punched my face.
Ouch. I could taste blood in my mouth.
I swung my knife towards her. Kronya had her hands at my throat now. Oh Goddess. I couldn't breathe. I jammed my knife into her arm. Kronya grabbed my wrist and twisted, until I gasped. The knife fell out of my hands with a clatter.
"You're crazy," she said, releasing my throat. She picked the knife up. "Where did you get this?"
I was still trying to breathe. My neck must be bruised. Kronya hoisted me onto my feet. Her arm was bloody. "You can't escape that easily," Kronya said and hauled me back down the hallway.
"Where am I?" I said. My voice was quiet, and my throat was scratchy. I was about to fight Kronya again when she held the knife at my throat with a glare.
"Don't you dare," Kronya said. She snickered. "Who cares where you are? You won't find it on a map anyway. Imbecile."
I still had another dagger in my other shoe. I reached for my left boot, lifting my foot up. "What are you doing?" Kronya was screaming in my ear. She shoved me against the wall, knocking the air out of my lungs. I sank to the floor, fingers wrapping around the handle of the blade.
I blocked Kronya's blade with my own.
"Where are these coming from?"
I was still too weak, though. Kronya fisted my shirt and lifted me up. I sliced my knife over her right hand. She screamed and dropped the blade. She kneed me in the stomach.
"Oof."
I felt the knife slip out of my hands. No, Goddess! Kronya slammed her arm against my throat. I scratched at her arm.
"You think you can escape?" Kronya snarled at me. I couldn't breathe. My vision was darkening. I woke up again when Kronya tossed me roughly back on the bed. Ouch. My head was ringing. I tried to sit up, but Kronya had tied my hands down already. She moved to my legs next. I kicked at her.
"You're such a pain." Kronya said. I gasped when a sharp pain came from my feet. Kronya had cut my legs. I stopped kicking. She took my shoes off.
"Look at what she did to me!" Kronya said to Solon.
"Stop getting blood everywhere," Solon replied. He was at his desk with his papers and his multi-colored vials. The room itself was musty and smelled of dirt and chemicals. "Go and clean up."
"Ugh." Kronya stomped out of the room.
Goddess, I'd rather be dead than at their mercy.
I couldn't remember when I started praying for it all to end. Everytime, I woke up with dread in my stomach. My whole body ached. My neck was stiff, my arms stung, my legs numb. Whenever I heard the slow, heavy footsteps of Solon, my heart would seize up and pound loudly in my ears. I started trembling whenever I saw Solon approach me with a new needle or bottle. He'd say, "Relax," with that awful grin of his, but that only made me tense up further. I kicked and screamed until my throat hurt and my ankles were bruised.
Sometimes, I'd wake up to the feeling of Solon's healing magic. The sensation grew colder and colder over time, until it was like frost, so icy cold that my skin burned. But the healing potions weren't any better. The smell of vulneraries made me nauseous. There was a constant gnawing pang of hunger in my stomach. I hated every waking moment, praying to fall back asleep.
Then, one day, when I was preparing for Solon to inject his next version of poison, instead he came up to me with a clear liquid.
"Time to go fishing," he said.
"Are you killing me?" I asked.
Solon laughed and shook his head as the needle slid in. "No, I'm returning you."
It only took a few seconds before I fell asleep.
When I woke up, I was lying on the ground. Like, actual ground. Grass and dirt. There was the sky, and the sun, and rocks. Kronya stood in front of me, laughing. She had several cronies and two demonic beasts standing guard in front. Byleth's class was fighting their way over.
Byleth. I could move my limbs. They hadn't tied me up. Were they really planning on letting me go? My left arm still had faint traces of purple, red, and green but I could move it.
I tried to sit up, but my head was foggy. Byleth had split his class into two groups, and they were closing in on Kronya's position from both sides. Kronya was taunting them, saying she was going to kill Byleth, which I didn't really understand. She was going to be outnumbered and surrounded soon enough. And there was no way Kronya could beat Byleth by herself.
"Byleth!" That sounded like Byleth. He'd seen me.
I was on my hands and knees. I needed to warn Byleth that this was a trap, that he was in danger. Solon wasn't here yet, but he'd show up. I knew he would.
I crawled towards my right, in the direction of Byleth. The guards didn't even look my way. I wasn't a threat to them, and they knew that. I needed a weapon. While Byleth's students surrounded Kronya, who was still ridiculing them, Byleth ran towards me.
"You okay?" He knelt down beside me.
"Weapon," I said. He held his hand out. I was sweating and out of breath, but I'd crawled out of Kronya's range. I took his hand and let him pull me up. My vision filled with dark spots. I'd stood up too quickly.
"Stay here," he said. I planted my bare feet into the dirt. They hadn't returned my shoes. No, come back, Byleth. I need a weapon. Byleth's footsteps faded. When my vision cleared, he was fighting Kronya with his Sword of the Creator. Then, Solon appeared.
Ugh, seeing his face, hearing his voice, I was trembling before I knew it. I fell back to my knees and clutched my head. Oh Goddess. Make him go away. Kill him. Strike him down with lightning.
"Professor!" That sounded like Edelgard. When I looked in their direction again, Byleth and Kronya were both gone. Only Solon remained, and he was laughing. I shuddered and stared at the dirt beneath me again.
They were arguing. I drew my knees to my chest curled into a ball. Oh Goddess. Byleth was gone. He was dead. He'd fallen straight into the trap. And it was my fault. And Solon was here. What if he tried to kidnap me again? Oh Goddess.
"Byleth?"
I looked up at the voice. It was Bernadetta. She looked as terrified as I felt.
"A-Are you okay?" she asked. Her eyes narrowed, and her hands formed into fists. On any other person, it'd look like she wanted to fight me. "W-What can I do to help?"
I glanced around the area. I needed a weapon. There was a fallen axe nearby.
"Can you…" I pointed at the axe. "Give me that?"
Bernie nodded, dashed off, and returned with the axe. She handed it to me. I leaned on my knees to stand up.
"Thanks," I said. Edelgard was getting her class regrouped. I limped after Bernadetta to join the group.
Dorothea came up to me first. "Oh goodness, Byleth, you look terrible!" she said. "Let me heal you."
I held a hand up. "Don't!"
Dorothea paused and lowered her hand. "Are you sure? You look like you could-"
Everyone was surrounding me and looking at me. Oh no. I was shaking again. "S-Stop. S-Stay away." I backed away from them.
"Step back, everyone," Edelgard said. They did, but they were still staring at me, like I was an injured bird with a broken wing. I gripped the axe in my hands. Edelgard stepped in front of her classmates. "Byleth, the professor's alive. I know he is. He'll come back."
She was probably right. There was no way Byleth could die that easily. I kept edging away from them. I didn't like the idea of being surrounded by people.
"Do you want to sit down?" Edelgard asked me.
I shook my head.
"We're going to fight Solon," Edelgard said.
"I'm going to kill him," I said. I was. If I killed him, he couldn't kill me. He couldn't hurt me anymore.
"Okay," Edelgard said. "Then fall in line."
The rest of the Black Eagles fell into formation. I had no idea where to stand, so I stayed where I was. Then Solon was gasping.
"No. Impossible!" Solon said.
I looked in his direction. Byleth was back, but his hair was green. His eyes too. Solon had retreated from where Kronya had been. He was up a hill. And he'd brought reinforcements.
Byleth looked at his classmates and nodded. Edelgard was grinning. "Professor, your hair!" she said.
Byleth then gazed at me and stepped closer. I pointed my axe at him. He lifted his arms up and stopped moving closer.
"Do you need healing?" he asked me. I shook my head.
"I'm going to kill him," I said. "Solon."
He held his hand out. "Give me the axe."
I wrapped my hands even tighter around the handle. "I need a weapon to kill him."
Byleth pulled a lance out from who knew where. "This is better." I looked at it then back at Byleth's face. He held the handle of the lance towards me. "You can deal the finishing blow."
I reached my right hand out for the lance. It was a training lance, lighter than the axe. Byleth took the axe out of my hand.
"Stick close," he said. He glanced across his class. "I need someone to stay with Byleth." Everyone exchanged glances with each other.
"No, you don't," I said, glaring at him.
"I-I'll do it," Bernie said, holding her hand up. Byleth nodded.
"Stay close," Byleth said again, then looked at me. "Don't attack until I say so."
He split his class into two groups again. Bernie and I were in Byleth's group. He, Ferdinand, and Dorothea fought off the reinforcements. Bernie fired arrow after arrow. I just used the lance like a walking cane and followed them.
Solon was waiting for us at the top of the hill. When he saw me, he grinned. I tried to stay steady and lifted the lance up.
Byleth and Edelgard attacked Solon first. He fought back with his magic. When his breathing grew ragged, Byleth looked at me and waved me forward. I ran at Solon with the lance in front of me while yelling. The lance pierced through Solon. He coughed up dark blood. I was panting.
Byleth stepped towards me. Solon had crumbled to the ground. I kept trying to shove the lance further through him, just to make sure he really was dead.
"Hey." Byleth tapped my shoulder. I slapped his hand away with glare.
I yanked the lance out and stabbed it in Solon's chest one more time, where his heart should be - if he had one.
"He's dead," Byleth said.
I was breathing hard. "I-I need to make sure," I said.
"Don't worry," Byleth said. "He's dead."
I watched the light fade from Solon's eyes. His face was frozen in a look of horror, mouth open, eyes wide. He deserved it. I was tempted to stab him one more time, but Byleth was tapping my shoulder again.
"Come on," he said. "Let's get you back to the monastery."
I looked at him. Was it really over? Every inch of me ached. My arms were covered in cuts and scars. I'd lost a lot of weight. Even if my injuries healed and disappeared, it wouldn't erase what'd happened. No healing magic could ease the pain inside.
Byleth's eyes were warm and gentle. He stood there, patiently waiting. I swallowed, then nodded, and took a step towards him. He handed me a training sword, and I used that as another walking cane.
"How long has it been?" I asked Byleth.
"Three weeks," he said. Three weeks? Only three weeks? It'd felt like months, even years. "We tried looking for you," Byleth said.
"I know."
There was quite a distance between the old church and the monastery. We walked through the forest. I was slow. I kept stopping to catch my breath, leaning against the sword. Byleth, Bernie, and Dorothea waited behind with me.
"Go ahead," I told them, waving forward. "I'll catch up."
Byleth nodded at Bernie and Dorothea. The other students were waiting in front of me. "Tell them to go," I said to Byleth. Byleth went over to his students, said something, and then Ferdinand took off. They probably hated me. I was slowing them down, wasting their time, looking so pathetic and weak.
Byleth returned to my side, while I continued hobbling forward. My legs were sore. I hadn't walked this much in a while.
"You should just knock me out," I said to Byleth. "Then you could carry me. Probably faster."
Byleth shook his head. "It's okay. Take your time."
Dorothea caught up with the others. Bernadetta stayed around, though, twiddling her fingers around. There was a small hill, and above that I could see the walls of the monastery. Byleth's hand kept hovering near my arm, while I trekked up the hill one step at a time. It was sad. I used to fight off tens of bandits by myself without getting too winded. Now I couldn't even crest a hill without taking a break in between.
We'd reached the top when I saw Ferdinand running back towards us. There was someone else behind him. Someone with familiar, light purple hair. I thought my heart was going to stop or burst out of my chest.
Yuri ran right to me. "Byleth!" He was panting even harder than me, resting his hands on his knees. Ferdinand was looking pretty tired too. "Oh, thank goodness, you're okay." Yuri reached a hand towards me, but I shrank away.
"Don't," I said. Yuri paused. Byleth was moving along and nodding for Bernadetta to go with him.
Yuri looked at me. With his back towards the others, he let his emotions take control of his face, for once. His mouth dropped open, his eyebrows knitted together, his eyes watered.
"Yuri," I said and my voice broke. I couldn't explain how I felt. I couldn't meet his gaze. "Just don't heal me." I swallowed then held my hand out.
"Okay," he said. Yuri carefully placed his hand in mine. "You don't want anyone to heal you?"
I nodded and took a step forward, leaning on the sword with my right hand.
"Okay," he said. "I'll make sure no one heals you." He squeezed my hand, and I winced. "Sorry!"
I bit my lip. "It's okay," I said. There was at least one bruise on my hand.
"Goddess, what did they do to you?" Yuri muttered to himself.
The walls of the monastery grew taller and larger the closer we walked. Byleth's students had disappeared, but Byleth and Bernadetta were in view. Byleth kept glancing back at me.
We walked along the wall of the monastery until we saw a gate in front. I was leaning more and more on Yuri and less on the sword. I could tell I was close to fainting. My vision narrowed and darkened, while my breath became quicker and shallower. My limbs grew heavier. I fell towards Yuri and felt his arms catching me. If I was unconscious, I couldn't feel anything. It was better this way.
Thanks for reading!