I dreamt that I was falling endlessly in darkness. Solon's face loomed over me and he sneered while I fell and fell and fell. When I woke up, I was in my dorm room. There was the wall on my right side and someone to my left. I elbowed them off the bed, and they fell to the floor with a loud oomph.

"Ow!"

I sat up and reached around. A knife. A dagger. Something. But there was only the blanket and pillow.

"Byleth." The voice was Yuri's. He was groaning.

"Yuri?"

"At least you're awake," he said with a mirthless chuckle.

"Oh, sorry! I-I thought-"

He sat up from the floor and looked at me. I could see a smile on his face in the darkness. "It's okay."

I was still in my clothes, the school uniform, the ones that I'd been wearing when Solon took me. The sleeves were tattered, and the clothing stained in dirt and sweat. It was gross. I stood up.

"Do you want food? Water?" Yuri asked.

"I need a bath," I said. Yuri lit a lantern on my desk and held it up, while I rummaged in my dresser for clean clothes.

"I'll go with you."

"No, go back to sleep," I said.

"I can't," Yuri said. He opened the door for me, and we walked to the communal bathroom together. When we arrived, he handed the lantern to me. "I'll wait outside."

"Yuri, I'm fine," I said. I was hugging my clothes to my chest.

"I know." He smiled, but his eyes looked teary. "But I'm not. So, please, just let me worry about you, okay?"

There was a knot in my throat. I nodded, then entered the bath house. I lit a few of the torches on the wall, set the lantern on the floor, and quickly stripped. The furnace that heated the water was full of embers now. It'd take too long to get the fire going, so I splashed myself with cold water. My cuts stung from the water, but it was a refreshing cool. I could feel the dirt and blood and sweat slowly wash off of me.

Yuri was sitting on the ground outside. He stood up when he saw me and took the lantern from my hands. "Feel better?" he asked. I nodded. He stifled a yawn on our way back. When we returned, Yuri closed the door and set the lantern on my desk. "Do you want me to sleep on the floor?"

I shook my head and sat down on the bed. "Just… the wall side."

"Okay." Yuri blew out the little flame and dropped on the bed beside me. It made me feel less claustrophobic, not being pinned between Yuri and the wall. I could roll onto my feet quickly.

Yuri's eyes were closed. I lay on my side and stared at him until he opened one eye to look at me. "What?" he said.

"It's…" I reached my hand towards his face. "It's really you." I touched Yuri's face, felt his warm skin under my fingers.

"Yeah." Yuri placed his hand over mine. "It's me. Your best friend."

I smiled. "Yeah."

"I'm glad you're alive," Yuri said.

"Me too," I said. I drew my hand away but held onto Yuri's hand. Closing my eyes, I scooted closer. Yuri drew the blankets up over us.

"Can I heal you when you're asleep?" he asked.

"No." My hand tightened around his.

"Okay," he said.

I relaxed my grip. "Sorry." I wasn't sure what it'd feel like, someone's healing magic. What if it scalded like Solon's did? It probably wouldn't, but what if? I had to get my act together soon, or Yuri would get sick of me, sick of fussing over me.

"Don't be," Yuri said.

"You know, he… he was responsible. For the plague." I was staring at Yuri's chest, but he was mostly a vague shape in the darkness.

"Did he tell you that?"

I nodded, but Yuri probably couldn't tell. "He said that was why I was resistant." I swallowed thickly. "To his poisons."

Yuri drew in a sharp breath. "He poisoned you?"

I was shaking now. The memories were coming back, the pain, the nausea, the hopelessness.

"Hey," Yuri said. He could probably feel me trembling. He scooted closer, until his forehead bumped into mine. "Hey, it's okay. You're all right now, Byleth. You're safe. I won't let anyone hurt you. Can I… hug you?"

I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut. Tears threatened to burst out, and there was a tight knot in my throat. Yuri slid his left arm under my neck, then wrapped his arms around me, gently, like I was made of porcelain.

"I-I'm not weak," I said.

"No." He pulled me closer and rubbed my back. "No, you're not."

I placed my arm around Yuri, too, and cried quietly into his shirt, until I fell asleep.

In the morning, I woke up tangled in Yuri's arms. I lifted my head, and Yuri slid his left arm out from underneath me.

"Is your arm okay?" I asked. It was probably numb. Yuri was shaking his arm around.

"Yeah." He smiled at me, while we sat up. I stretched and stood up. I was thirsty and hungry, and my head felt more clear than it had in three weeks.

I yawned. "I'm going to change."

"Are we getting breakfast together?" Yuri asked, moving towards the door. Food. Real, solid food. I nodded. "I'll wait outside then."

After the door closed softly behind him, I changed out of my pajamas and dug out my spare pair of boots. I spotted my sword, lying against my desk, and picked it up. It hung, like a heavy anchor, on my hip, but it was a familiar, comforting weight. The sun was warm against my face when I left my room. Wow. Sunlight. Yuri held his hand out towards me, so I took it. We walked to the cafeteria.

"What day is it?" I asked.

"Sunday."

The cafeteria smelled of warm spices, butter, and meat. I was hungry, but I had no appetite.

"What do you want?" Yuri pointed at the menu. The breakfast menu consisted of fruit, oats, toast, eggs and jerky.

"I'll just have some fruit," I said.

Yuri raised an eyebrow. He got two servings of fruit, then one serving of everything else. We sat down together, side by side. The cafeteria was mostly empty. It was late in the morning, and they were preparing to serve lunch soon.

"Here, have a bit of everything," Yuri said, cutting the slice of toast in half for me.

"I don't-" I bit my lip and watched as Yuri piled more and more food on my plate. "I'm not…"

"Hungry?" Yuri asked.

"No appetite," I said, quietly.

"Eat what you can," Yuri said. "I'll eat the rest." He dug into the eggs. It smelled delicious, but my stomach churned at the sight. I ate the fruit first: chopped melon and noa fruit. It was light, juicy, and refreshing. More importantly, it was easy to stomach.

"Are you up for dinner with my mother?" Yuri asked as we ate. I nibbled on the toast next. Buttery and crispy, but dry. Yuri pushed a glass of water my way.

"Yeah," I said. Actually, I wasn't sure how much I could eat for dinner, but I wanted to see Rose.

"Let's go get you some new knives after this." Yuri smirked.

I nodded and mustered up a smile. "Okay."

The eggs and jerky were too oily for my stomach. The oats were mushy and bland. In the end, Yuri ate most of the food. We returned our plates, then headed out of Garreg Mach to the small marketplace in front of the gates. Nausea was creeping up from my belly to my throat. I swallowed, trying to keep everything down.

"You okay?" Yuri glanced my way. I was covering my mouth with a hand. I nodded. "You don't look so good."

I could taste breakfast coming back up. Turning away from Yuri, I vomited into the nearest bush. Oh Goddess. Yuri patted my back. Goddess. I threw up until there was nothing left in my stomach.

"Want me to get you some water?"

I knelt down and hugged my knees. Why was Yuri doing this? Why was he here? He had to have better things to do. Why was he…

"Hey, Byleth." Yuri must have knelt down beside me. His voice was near my ear.

Tears stung my eyeballs. I hated myself. I hated how weak I'd become. I couldn't even eat.

"Byleth, please, look at me," Yuri said. Why was he pleading with me? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

"I'm sorry," I said and looked at him. Tears were blurring my vision.

"Don't be." He held onto my arm. "Come on, let's get up." He pulled me up onto my feet again.

"I'm a mess, Yuri," I was blabbering now. "A terrible mess. I can't eat. I can barely walk. I can't even let people heal me. I'm a mess."

Yuri hugged me. "You're recovering, Byleth. It takes time, but you'll get there. We'll get there, together." He pulled me away, holding me at arms-length to look me in the eye. "Okay?"

"But you have better things to do." Hot tears rolled down my cheeks. "You don't have to babysit me."

"Byleth, you're doing a favor for me," he said and pulled me into a hug again. "I want to take care of you."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. "You're an idiot."

Yuri chuckled. "Well, I'm your idiot."

I buried my face into his chest. I didn't deserve him, or his unwavering kindness and his patience.

"Stop beating yourself up," Yuri said. "We made a promise, remember? We're life partners. If you were in my position, and I was in yours, would you leave me alone?" No. No, of course not. I shook my head. I could never. I'd go and stab Solon ten times extra just to make sure he couldn't hurt Yuri.

"Exactly," Yuri said. He released me again and nodded his head towards the marketplace. "Still want to get some knives?"

I nodded.

We browsed a few merchants' wares. Yuri bought a new sword for himself, while I picked out two daggers. I placed one on my waist and tucked the other in my right boot. Then, we headed back to the monastery. I was out of breath by the time we reached the Great Hall. We paused while I leaned on my knees for a quick break.

"I'm guessing you don't want to go to the infirmary," Yuri said. "But would you let Professor Manuela take a look at you? In your room maybe?"

"Yeah," I said.

"No healing?"

I nodded. We went back to my room. I sat on my bed and rested, while Yuri fetched Professor Manuela.

When they returned, Manuela knelt down in front of me. Yuri was about to leave when I said, "Wait." Yuri glanced back at me. I patted the space beside me. "Stay, please?" Yuri nodded, but instead of sitting next to me, he sat on my bed, with his back against mine. Professor Manuela checked my eyes, my throat, my neck, my hands, and arms.

"Lots of cuts and bruises," Manuela said. I nodded. Manuela looked at my legs next, pushing my pants up. "This…" I looked at what Manuela was staring at. A deep horizontal cut across my leg, above my ankle. The one that Kronya had made.

"It's healing. Good thing it's not infected," Manuela said. She inspected my left arm again. "They… Did they poison you again?"

It was hard to talk. I nodded.

Manuela sighed. "Unbelievable. Oh, if I got my hands on those evil creeps."

"I'm resilient," I said. My voice was shaky. "To the poisons."

"Yes, you are." She nodded. "You're healing on your own. Is there anywhere else?"

I took in a deep breath and then lifted my shirt up. There was a round purple bruise on my stomach, from where Kronya had kneed me.

"It's an old bruise," Manuela said.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"You'll heal and recover on your own just fine, but I can treat your cuts and bandage you up. Is that okay?"

"Yes, thank you."

"I also have this cooling salve for bruises." Manuela placed a bottle on my desk from her bag. "It should help with the pain. Do you need any painkillers?"

I shook my head. "I'm okay."

Professor Manuela pulled a different bottle and bandages out. "Don't worry about classes for now," she said, while dabbing at the cuts on my arm with the medicine. I winced from the sting, leaning into Yuri's back. "You can come to class tomorrow, if you're feeling up to it. Just focus on resting, okay? Eat food, drink plenty of water, and move around. You've lost a lot of weight."

Yuri placed his hand on mine. I looked at my skinny wrist, the blue veins visible. "Thanks," I said. I squeezed Yuri's hand. The smell of the medicine… herbal, bitter, and a bit of a floral fragrance. It was like I was in that room again, with Solon-

"Byleth?" Manuela was leaning over me. I was trying to breathe. In and out, in and out, short, quick breaths. "Yuri, she's hyperventilating."

My vision was narrowing again. I could almost hear Solon's voice in my ears.

"Byleth, Byleth." Yuri wrapped his arms around me. I hugged my knees to my chest. "Professor, the medicine."

"Oh." Manuela corked the bottle shut.

"I-" I trembled. Yuri hugged me even tighter.

"You're safe, Byleth," Yuri said. "You're here with me and Professor Manuela." I closed my eyes shut. Yes, yes, I was with Yuri. Solon wasn't here. He couldn't be. He was dead. Yuri smoothed my hair down. My breathing slowed.

There was a quiet thunk. "I'll leave this here, if you do want to clean the cuts later," Manuela said.

I opened my eyes. "Th-Thanks," I said. Manuela had left the bandages on my desk too.

Manuela patted my shoulder with a smile. "Let me know if you need anything. Just watch the cut on your leg, so that it doesn't get infected."

Yuri hadn't let go. I nodded. "Okay."

Professor Manuela closed the door behind her, and I stayed curled up in a ball until her footsteps faded.

I looked at Yuri. "I'm going to take a nap."

"Okay." He kissed my cheek softly, like a gentle brush. Yuri stood up while I lay down, pulling the blanket over me.

"You don't have to stay," I said, drawing my knees towards me.

"Do you want me to?" Yuri sat down on the floor in front of me.

No. Actually, yes. I did. But not if he was going to stare at me while I fell asleep. That sounded demanding, so I shook my head. "No. Go do stuff."

Yuri picked up a book from off my desk and leaned his back against the bed. "I'll wait."

I stared at the back of Yuri's head. There were a thousand things I wanted to talk to him about, like Kronya posing as me and trying to kiss him, and what he'd been doing the past three weeks.

I chose to say what mattered most. "Thanks. For sticking around." I cleared my throat. My heart was racing. "I'll be all right. With you here. I know I'll be fine."

Yuri turned around and touched my hand. He was smiling. "I love you," he said. I froze. He chuckled. "You don't have to say it back. It's just a reminder. In case you forgot."

I nodded, squeezing his hand. The words were stuck in my throat.

"Get some sleep. I'll wake you up before dinner."

"Thanks." I rolled onto my side, my back against Yuri, and closed my eyes, letting the quiet flip of turning pages lull me to sleep.

True to his word, Yuri woke me up in the late afternoon.

"Let's get going to Abyss," he told me. I slid my sword back into its position on my hip, stretched my back out, and donned my boots.

"I'm ready," I said.

We held hands on our walk there. I had to pause to take a break. It probably took twice as long as usual for us to reach the entrance of Abyss. Rose opened the door to greet us and swept me up into a tight hug. "Oh, Byleth, my dear!" she said.

"Hey Rose." I hugged her back. Rose smelled like warm spices and oil. She pulled us in, and Yuri closed the door. The table was ladened with dishes.

"Sit down. I made all of your favorites," Rose said, still bustling with one last pot on the fire. Yuri and I sat down at the table. "I tried to make them lighter, less oily. Yuri told me you didn't have much of an appetite."

I nodded. There was a fish soup that smelled divine, sauteed vegetables, vegetable pasta salad, and pickled rabbit skewers. Rose joined us across the table. "I also prepared sweet buns." She grinned.

"Rose," I said. "This is… a lot."

Rose laughed. "Eat up! Tell me what you like, and I'll make more of it." She handed me a bowl and the soup ladle.

I scooped the soup in and passed the ladle to Yuri. I took a careful sip. It was savory and warm and flavorful. I gave Rose a thumbs-up. "Mm," I said, and Rose grinned. I felt warm inside. "What have you been up to?" I asked Rose and Yuri, as we ate. I tried a bit of the vegetables and rabbit skewers.

Rose shrugged, exchanging looks with Yuri. "Oh, well, the usual. I've been sewing a lot. Ran around a few towns outside looking for you, too."

Oh, right.

"Mother," Yuri said.

"You can't possibly keep this a secret from Byleth," Rose said, rolling her eyes.

I looked at Yuri and said, "What?"

"All of the house leaders were helping," Yuri said. "It wasn't just me."

Rose leaned forward on the table. "Yuri ran himself ragged trying to find you." Ah, of course he would. I looked down at my bowl.

"You're going to make her feel guilty," Yuri said.

"Byleth, I'm telling you so you know that we did our best," Rose said. Her voice was gentle. "That we care about you and that we were worried for you."

"Thanks," I said and tried to smile at Rose. Yuri was watching me. I glanced at him. "Thanks."

Yuri looked at his mother and raised an eyebrow. He was right. I did feel a little guilty, for making them worry, for making them run everywhere trying to find me, for making a fuss. But Rose was right too. Knowing that they'd go to such lengths to look for me… I teared up a little, and my heart squeezed in my chest.

Yuri reached over and patted my hand. I tried the pasta salad next. It was easier to eat, with the chewy noodles, the fresh tomatoes, and creamy dressing.

"Won't you stay the night?" Rose asked me, a little later. "It's a bit of a walk back, isn't it?"

"Yeah, sure," I said.

Yuri washed the dishes, and I helped put them away. Rose kept fretting about as we did though, until Yuri told her that we'd be fine. While Yuri went to take a bath, Rose showed me her latest stitch work. She had a little booth in Abyss where she sold clothes. When Rose lowered the skirt she'd made, she looked at my arms.

"I know Yuri said you don't want to be healed," Rose said. "But, let me know if you ever want me to heal you, all right?"

I looked at my arms, covered in cuts and scars. Rose put the clothes away into her basket. Maybe… if it was Rose. I hugged my arms and tried to imagine what Rose's healing magic felt like. Warm, light, like a soft blanket. She'd healed me countless times over the years, oftentimes while scolding Yuri and me.

I held my right arm out towards Rose. "Please, try."

Rose lifted her eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, biting my bottom lip. Warm. Rose's healing was warm. Not cold, like Solon's. But I was afraid it'd feel that way.

We sat down on Rose's bed, and she took my right hand. "Tell me when you want me to stop," Rose said.

I nodded and looked at Rose. Her thin face, her light purple hair, her dark blue eyes. There were wrinkles near her eyes and on her cheeks. Rose's hand glowed white. I swallowed as the healing magic hit me. Like sharp, icy daggers. I gritted my teeth and clenched my left hand. It shouldn't be cold. It should be warm. It was Rose's magic, after all. It was all in my head.

I was back in that room again. Solon was laughing at me while healing me, just so he could inject another painful poison into me. I screamed.

"Byleth? Byleth!"

The cold stopped, but Solon kept laughing and leering at me. He was still winning.

"Byleth," Rose said. She touched my left hand, and I jerked away, tumbling to the floor. The wooden floor, the dark room, a lit lantern on the bed side table. Rose was watching me, forehead creased in concern. I was breathing hard.

I'm in Abyss. I'm okay. I'm with Rose. And Yuri.

"What happened?" Yuri burst into the room, looked at the two of us. His hair was wet.

"I-I'm okay," I said, gasping for air. I wrapped my arms around me.

Rose knelt down on the floor beside me. "I'm sorry, Byleth."

I shook my head. "It's not your fault. It's mine." Solon was still in my head. Yuri held his hand out, so we stood back up.

"What happened?" Yuri said, this time more softly.

"I tried to heal her," Rose said.

"Mother-" Yuri said.

"I asked her to," I said. I looked at Rose. "Can you try again?"

Rose squeezed her hands together. "Oh, Byleth. I don't know."

"Please," I said. "I know your healing magic isn't cold. It shouldn't be. But why does it feel that way?"

Rose patted my hand. "Are you sure?" I nodded. "Okay."

I held Yuri's hand with my other and waited for the healing energy to seep into my skin again. It's warm, I told myself. It's warm. It had to be. It couldn't be cold.

But it was. Like ice snakes slithering up my arm. I shivered. Rose and Yuri exchanged concerned glances. I squeezed Yuri's hand. I was in Abyss, with Rose and Yuri. I was safe. I had to keep reminding myself.

Warm, warm, warm.

Then, the cold turned into a blazing heat. I yelped and yanked my arm away from Rose.

"Wh-What?" Rose said.

"Hot hot," I said, hugging my arm. I sighed, shaking my head. "Sorry. I guess it's just-"

"It's fine," Rose said with a small smile. "It takes time to heal, Byleth, so take your time. We'll be here."

I nodded, while gnawing on my bottom lip and fighting back tears. It was hard to express the gratitude that flooded my chest. "Thank you," I said. My voice broke.

Rose swept me into a hug. Yuri joined in. "You don't have to do this alone," Rose said. "We're here for you, Byleth."

I hugged Rose back tightly as I started to cry.

Thanks for reading!