I'm not dead I'm not dead I'm not dead!

Neither is this story. I just got caught up with Life: Burning Man, a trip to Washington, new quarter at school, a Shadowrun game... anyway. This time: Shepard meeting the council, talking with Anderson and Udina, plus a little extra!

"Come on," Anderson said with a beckoning wave. "The hearing's already started."

If Shepard had to use a single word to describe the council chambers, that word would be ancient.

Not in the sense that it was outdated – far from it. Rather, the layout, architecture, and design of the room – no, hall – was old. Instead of a modern arrangement, with the councilors seated behind desks or even in offices, they remained standing behind a podium on a conspicuous raised dais in the center of the room.

The petitioners, instead of approaching the desk after convening with legal counsel, were forced to stand alone on an unsupported platform that extended from the center of the room. It was, all things told, a very isolating and exposing position.

Which, as Shepard thought about it, was actually quite a clever setup. It simultaneously drove home the council's primacy while ensuring that everyone would have their affairs and petition in order ahead of time: you memorized your work (or used a black-market graybox to feed it to you), or you went home.

On a more practical – and, in Shepard's mind, a much more important – note, it made the petitioners to the council feel very exposed. It wasn't that Shepard didn't like being on display. Rather, there were far too many places an assassin, or even an agent of the council, could strike from. Williams' cynical little remark about the stairs not just being for show echoed through her mind, and she suppressed a grimace.

Shepard hadn't lived as long as she had by making it easy for her enemies to kill her.

Still, there was little choice, and she somewhat doubted the council had reason to kill her. Not yet, at least.

So she settled her shoulders, took a deep breath, and stepped up alongside Ambassador Udina on the petitioner's platform.

"The geth attack is a matter of some concern," the asari councilor – Tevos, her name was – said with a conciliatory nod. "However, there is nothing to indicate Saren-" she gestured at the larger than life hologram of the turian, "-was involved in any way."

Sparatus, a borderline paranoid and distinctly distrustful turian (if the briefing she had been provided was correct), spoke. "The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason," he said with a sneer, or, at least, with a tone that Shepard's translator interpreted as sneering.

She really, really needed to take that course on turian social cues.

Apparently this time, however, the programmers had gotten it right, as Udina's eyes narrowed. "An eyewitness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!"

Valern, the salarian councilor, shook his head. "We've read the Eden Prime reports, Ambassador. The testimony of one traumatized dockworker does not constitute compelling proof."

That much, Shepard had to agree with.

"I resent these accusations," Saren's compression-distorted voice boomed. "Nihlus was a fellow Spectre... and a friend."

"That just let you catch him off guard!" Anderson snapped back at the turian, and Shepard fought the urge to bury her face in her palm.

Anderson is many things, she thought sadly, but a politician isn't one of them.

The problem was that Anderson simply couldn't win in a battle of character assassination with the turian Spectre. The evidence, unless it was overwhelming and objective, would inevitably go overlooked... which made it a fight where both sides had to rely on the strength of their reputation and their authority.

Saren was a trusted member of the most elite and powerful military organizations in the galaxy. He was nearly worshiped as a hero by his people, and his skill in combat was unquestioned. He was also a member of one of the longest-standing and most reliable species that supported the council.

Anderson was a relatively unknown human captain, well-liked by his crew and respected by his own military. He was not a galactic hero or household name, however, and his apparent bad blood with the turian could be all too easily interpreted as racism. Furthermore, he was a member of an 'upstart' race, one that was widely viewed as being a more cunning version of the batarians... not exactly a stellar starting point.

Worse, he had all the political maneuvering skill of a brick.

By not contesting the claim of friendship that Saren made, he allowed the turian to set the stage for the argument. This wasn't an argument over facts, it was one over the perception of facts. With the claim of strong friendship with Nihlus uncontested, Anderson was claiming that Saren – a national hero and trusted soldier – would kill his friend in cold blood.

A hard sell, to put it mildly.

Worst of all was that Saren seemed to know all of this.

"Captain Anderson," he said, and this time his translated voice held something of a sneer to it. "You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me."

He glanced down at the commander. "And this must be your protege, Commander Shepard. The one who let the beacon get destroyed."

So much for operational security, She thought grumpily. "And how, exactly, did you find out about that? The details of our mission were supposed to be classified." She waved around the huge hall and its audience for emphasis.

"When Nihlus died, his case files passed to me. I know all about your mission on Eden Prime," Saren explained, his tone condescending. "I was... less than impressed. But what can you expect from a human?"

Yeah. Right. The body's not even cold... well, it wouldn't be cold if we hadn't stuck it in the freezer... and he somehow manages to review the entire Eden Prime case and our after-action reports in the two hours it's been since we touched down? Her nostrils flared. Of course that's how you know.

Still, she wasn't entirely sure what to make of the turian. He demonstrated a remarkable understanding of how the game of politics was played, but there was an... impatience, almost, or instability to him that set off warnings in Shepard's mind. Like he was only making an appearance here because he was forced to.

Which, she thought dryly, was true, but he was treating this with more disdain than she would have expected from someone facing charges, however ridiculous he might think they were, of treason. It was almost as if he knew the outcome of the hearing didn't matter one way or another.

The only way that could be true was if he had some kind of backroom deal with the council, or...

Or if he knew that it wouldn't matter if they convicted him or not.

"Shep-" Udina hissed through his teeth as she stepped forward, gently pushing him aside.

"Would you prefer I ascribe your disdain for human soldiers to racism or ignorance?" she asked curtly. "It is well-established that humans are competent combatants, as you found out with the Relay 314 incident."

Saren's eyes narrowed and his fringe flattened. "Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Spectres, and you're definitely not ready to join the council!"

A bit of a racist streak, hm? Oops. What a pity that was put on public display in the citadel council chambers.

Udina elbowed past Shepard to point an accusing finger at the turian. "He has no right to say that!" he snapped at the Council. "That's not his decision!"

Tevos made a calming gesture at the flustered diplomat before craning her neck at the larger-than-life turian. "Neither Shepard's candidacy for the Spectres nor humanity's bid for a seat on the Citadel Council are the topic of this meeting."

"This meeting has no purpose," Saren snapped. "The humans are wasting your time, Councilor. And mine."

Sparatus and Valern nodded while Tevos rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"We acknowledge a potential motivation for Saren to be involved with the tragic attack on Eden Prime," Tevos said primly, ignoring the glared daggers from Saren. "However, in light of a lack of credible evidence, the Council cannot find reason to remove him from the Spectres."

"It was a mistake bringing you to that hearing, Captain," Udina began brusquely as they settled in a private alcove below the council chambers. "You and Saren have too much history. It made the Council question our motives."

Shepard resisted the urge to grin. Udina was probably the most tactless diplomat she'd ever met, but it was almost refreshing to hear a diplomat that didn't mince words or hide behind meaningless platitudes.

Anderson shook his head stubbornly. "I know Saren. He's working with the geth for one reason: To exterminate the entire human race. Every colony we have is at risk. Every world we control is in danger. Even Earth isn't safe."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Sir, no offense intended, but that's exactly why we don't want you near the Council. If you both go shouting hyperbolic personal insults at each other, it will play right into his hands. He speaks from a position of far greater authority than you do."

Udina pointed straight at Shepard's face and stared at Anderson. "That. There. Thank you, Commander," he said with a sideways glance at her. "That iswhy we can't have you talking to him like that."

He lowered his hand. "If you really think that it was Saren behind the attack, you'll have to prove it to the Council. With real proof," he said, cutting off Anderson before he could speak, "not just the testimony of one traumatized dockworker."

"Well, what about that C-Sec investigator? Garrus? He was arguing for more time. He might be able to dig something up."

Ashley nodded. "That's right, he was asking for more time to finish his report. Seems like he was close to finding something."

Udina pursed his lips. "I have a contact in C-Sec that might be able to get in touch with him... Harkin."

"Forget it," Anderson said, waving his hand in a cutting motion. "He was fired last month. Drinking on the job. I won't waste my time with that loser."

"You won't have to," Udina snapped. "I don't want the Council using your history with Saren as an excuse to ignore anything we turn up. Shepard can handle this."

And maybe redeem your "failure" at Eden Prime, she thought to herself. Message received loud and clear, Ambassador.

She nodded. "Understood, Ambassador."

Udina sighed. "I need to take care of some business. Captain, meet me in my office later... 1700 hours?"

He turned and walked away without waiting for a response, and Ashley rolled her eyes.

Shepard took a step toward Anderson. "Sir-" she began, and he shook his head.

"Udina's right, Shepard. You're right." He smiled wryly. "I've been around long enough to know what I'm good at and what I'm not. I'm a soldier, not a politician. I speak my mind and I'm not ashamed of it."

"The things we're getting in to here..." he grimaced. "I know Saren did it. I can't prove it, but I know he did it. It's up to you to prove it to them, Shepard."

He eyed her for a moment, then chuckled. "At least you've got the head for it."

She raised an eyebrow. "Thank you, sir. I think."

"Ha!" He shook his head. "It was meant as a compliment, Commander. Take it as one."

"Yes, sir. Is this Harkin really that unreliable?"

"Harkin..." Anderson trailed off with a grimace. "No, if I'm being completely fair, he's not. He's a dirty cop by anybody's measure, but he wasn't incompetent – just an embarrassment. He'd drink on the job, rough up prisoners, and there was talk of bribery. But... he was one of the first human C-Sec officers, so the embassy would step in whenever he got into real trouble. I guess they thought it would have looked bad if he was fired."

Shepard rubbed the bridged of her nose in exasperation. "Right. Because it looked so much better having a blatantly corrupt cop backed up by the embassy?"

Anderson grinned. "Great minds. Anyway, once they got enough humans on the force to satisfy the higher-ups, his presence was no longer needed and they finally fired him. Good riddance, I say."

"Right," Shepard nodded. "But could he get me in touch with this Officer Vakarian?"

"He just might," Anderson admitted, "although I'd suggest asking C-Sec about Vakarian directly. Might save time, and you wouldn't have to deal with Harkin."

Shepard shook her head. "If Saren's as skilled as everyone seems to think he is, he'd almost certainly have all the official C-Sec channels monitored... and with all the turians in it, I wouldn't put it past one of them to tip him off if he didn't."

He sighed. "And that's why you're better off running this investigation. Harkin's probably getting drunk in some bar, so if you really want to find him Give Chora's Den a try. If he's not there, they'll probably be able to point you in his direction."

"Understood." She checked her chrono and grimaced; if he was really drinking at this hour then either happy hour started early on the citadel or he really was a drunkard.

"My thoughts exactly," Anderson said at her expression. "I should get down to the Ambassador's office, and you should get moving. Saren's not getting any more captured."

"Yes, sir."

"And Shepard?"

"Sir?"

"Good luck."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Well, that was a disaster," Sparatus said as the councilors walked into their private antechamber.

"Agreed," Tevos said. "Sparatus, I take it you've already begun work to strip him of his status?"

"Of course," the turian said. "'his files were passed to me.' It's like he didn't even care that we'd know."

"Suggests some validity of human claims," Valern said. "Worrisome."

"Or not," he cautioned. "We have no verification, unless your agents have already reported in?"

Valern shook his head. "STG works quickly, not instantly. Will be several hours, at least, before preliminary reports are in."

"I figured as much."

Tevos poured herself a glass of water and sat down on a large, overstuffed chair. "You realize, Sparatus, that if Saren has been this blatant before us that the humans will likely uncover proof of his treason in short order."

"You don't have to remind me," he grumbled deeply. "A blind child would have a hard time failing to turn up proof when he goes tossing it around everywhere. We should just be thankful their diplomat is an idiot and their captain comes off as a zealot."

Tevos smiled and shook her head slightly at the turian's blunt assessment of Udina. "Regardless, they are going to demand something be done when they do turn up real proof, and we are going to be hard-pressed to deny them."

"And what, precisely, do you suggest we do?" He threw his hands in the air. "Udina will demand protection for their colonies, Anderson will want Saren's head, and Shepard... I have no idea what she wants."

"Perhaps she is simply doing her duty," Valern suggested.

Sparatus snorted. "Everyone here wants something."

Tevos tilted her head in thought. "What did Nihlus say about her?"

"Nihlus?" Sparatus frowned. "Said she was polite, clever, and talented. High praise, if you know him. Knew him," he corrected bitterly. "Why?"

"Because," she said slowly, "I believe there is a way to solve all of our problems."

"Really? Because I don't- oh, no." Sparatus shook his head as realization slowly dawned. "No, no, no, no, NO! Not after what happened on Eden Prime!"

"Did you watch the full holorecordings? I did," she said firmly. "Shepard has the both attitude and the aptitude."

"Her medical evaluations are worrisome," Valern interjected. "Stunted growth from malnutrition. Mild element zero poisoning. Psychopathy. Possible other undiagnosed problems."

"Problems that have not manifested in ten years' of hard combat," she replied. "The Alliance considers her stable enough to rely upon for crucial missions, missions that most would consider... distasteful."

"I hardly see mental illness as a recommendation for the Spectres!" he barked.

"Do you not? The very first Spectre was much the same, albeit far less... pleasant."

"It is a terrible idea," Sparatus said firmly.

"On the contrary, I think it is an excellent idea. It grants the humans the credit they feel they deserve. It appeases Udina in a way that he can't argue with. It makes a respected member of their military pleased with us... and it nets us a powerful replacement for Saren."

Valern nodded. "There are risks. Her loyalty cannot be trusted."

Tevos shrugged. "The Alliance obviously does."

"This is a terrible idea," Sparatus said with a sigh. "But I can tell when I'm outnumbered. Fine. If the humans manage to turn up something, we can let her join to appease them. Just keep her on a short leash, understand?"

"Of course," Tevos said soothingly. "We don't want a repeat of these unfortunate events."

One of the things that will be turning up a lot in my, mm, interpretation of mass effect is that people are not blithering idiots. At least, not most of the time. The council accepts the "conclusive" evidence because they already knew it was true, not because a short audio clip is ironclad proof. Furthermore, the council – like the supreme court in the U.S. – makes most of its actual debate behind closed doors.