Chapter 5: Press-ganged into the plot, basically.

Alright, so, plan. Step one, get to the cave without being spotted. To do that, staying in the trees and using wires as rope to make sure I don't fall. Step two, fake my death using the Grimm inside the cave. This is going to require my to... Wait. Oh god, am I going to have cut my hand?

Yes, but you can just make a small incision and force blood out of it.

Fuck me raw. Whatever. I will also need to harry it a bit to make it look like I died fighting. Step three, stay in the inverse for a couple of weeks and wait for everything to blow over. Step four, attain Zamasu's own level of divinity and absolutely ruin Salem's plot without any ties to THE plot until then. Sounds good, right?

Yes... Except, you're going to do a bit more than just ruining Salem's plot.

Hey! Salem ordered Cinder to fuck up JNPR and RWBY, and that led to her killing Pyrrha, so technically, that counts as Salem's plot, not Cinder's.

No, it is. Can't argue that. But, you have already impacted the plot, by making poor Ruby think she has a rival. Who knows, perhaps this combined with the fact her mother dies will lead to abandonment issues. Probably won't, but come on man, just be an imaginary friend at the very least. Come on man, I need my cinnamon fix.

No, my digital companion, for the cinnamon is a trap. Just as the cake is a lie, it leads to a terrible fate. We must stay the course.

Ugh, fine. We're here.

Alright. So... Just gotta... Cut my hand. Yeah. I can do that.

Pussy.

What was that?

Pussy. You can't do it.

Oh really? Just... WATCH! FUCK, that hurts!

I stand corrected.

So, just gotta splatter it abou-

"GggrrRRRROAAAAAAHRR!"

Shit, of course blood would agro them. Well, I know how to solve this. Dodge, and pin it's appendages to the ground.

Yogi bear on crack made a swipe at me, but backpedaling combined with increasing the scale of my backpedaling makes it easy to dodge. Readying up a good proper spear...

"RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!"

I jump into the air, assisted by a grappling hook, and nail one of it's back legs right into the ground, with a nice rod o' steel. I prep up a second one from behind it, as it slowly pivots around to face me. It takes much less effort to nail the other leg into the ground. Concerningly enough, the thing makes no noise. I don't like that, so I splatter a bunch of blood around and get the fuck out. Afterwards, as the presumed adrenaline dies out, I feel like I just ran for a good 10 minutes straight.

Like I said before, blood loss.

Yeah, yeah, I'll, like, go take a nap in the Inverse. Maybe try and find some civilization afterwards. Wait, system, do I even need sleep anymore?

Well, technically no.

Kowalski, analysis.

The first 3 days without sleep, you will only experience minor sluggishness in mind and body. For the next 4 days after, limbs will randomly either go limp or tense up like rigor mortis as the nerves effectively short-circuit. 4 days after that, your hp will slowly drain, starting off at .01% per second on the 8th day of no sleep, which is when it begins, capping out at 50% hp per second on the hundredth day. So, if your regen is strong enough, yeah, you won't need sleep.

….Okay, who gave morpheus steroids?

No one. Recently.

Okay, I sense a story behind this.

Okay, basically, Hera got fed up with Zeus's thottery, so she made a deal with Morpheus. She would give him the Greek god's equivalent of all steroid types in one package, and Morpheus would try to zap Zeus into a coma. And it worked.

…...And?

The rest of the pantheon also fell into a coma. Including Morphy.

Pffft- HAH! That shit op.

Indeed, please nerf sakurai.

That also serves Zeus right for being a harlot. Oh, and uh, here's a little middle finger just for you….Weird, thought I deactivated sleá bréagach. Oh well, it isn't like there's any danger around here. Nice breeze, thoug-

What is happening-

Crack.

[Perspective shift: Ruby]

Oh. This... No, wait, he is MY rival! He wouldn't fall to just a Ursa! He must have just softened it up for me, overextended, then ran off to heal himself! Yeah! That makes MUCH more sense than just...

Anyways! The trail has gone cold, so it'll take a lot more time to find hi-

"Pffft- hah!"

WAIT A MINUTE! That laugh! That must be my rival! He is taunting me! Where did that come from- Ah HAH! Found him!

…..Wait, why is he so frail!? He looks like he hasn't eaten in three days! On top of that, he's just standing out in the open! It's like he's tauntin- is- is that blood?! That's it, he's is gonna get the scolding of a lifetime! How did he even cut himself?! I thought ninjas were cool!

I rush over to him as he dang well looks like he's taunting the Brothers to strike him down. And once I start telling him everything he's been doing wrong he's gonna wish they would! I reach out to his shoulder to turn him aroun-

Oh. Hello rock. I did not notice you. Frick you for making me tri-

Crack.

….Oh crap.