Title - Sunshine Follows Thunder
Chapter title - Just Ask
Author - OblivionsGarden
Genre - Romance/Drama
Disclaimer - I do not own My Mad Fat Diary or My Fat Mad Teenage Diary, in anyway shape or form. I only own my original characters and the plot for this fic. For this chapter I own, Teddy and Jason.

A/n - Please read and review, I'd greatly appreciate it. Hope you enjoy, xx (:

Rae was brilliant. I'd only been here in Stamford for a week and it already felt like we'd grown up together. It was easy to talk to Rae about things, knowing she knew what I meant since she'd been through the same thing. It's harder talking to someone about self harm who has never done it because they are never truly going to understand that feeling of wanting to do it. No matter how hard they try.
The gang were pretty epic too. Chop was such a laugh, always cracking jokes. Izzy was, as I presumed, the sweetest girl to ever exist. Chloe was a little self centered but at her heart she was there for her friends when they needed her. Archie was a great musician and asked if I'd be willing to do that duet Rae had mentioned when we met. I said perhaps, should I ever grow a big enough pair to get on stage with. That was one of the few things I said to make Finn smile. Rae was right when she said he was grumpy but there seemed to be something about him that I found interesting.
With people like Chop, you know what's going on with them all the time. They're loud and even when they try to hide it, their feelings are usually obvious. Rae confirmed that thought when she said how she knew he and Izzy liked each other as soon as she met them. But with Finn it was hard. He was kind of quiet, smiling at little things and arguing with Rae about music. I wanted to know more about him. What he liked, what he didn't like. All the little things that made him tick. The things he keeps hidden and why he keeps them hidden. All the things that...Made him who he was.

There was one main question I wanted to ask Finn though. I just couldn't bring myself to ask it. We'd been in the pub one night and I was leant back in my chair. Rather than lean forward, I stretched my arm out to grab my snakebite. As I did the sleeve of my top slid back, revealing some of the scarring on my wrists. Finn looked from my wrist to my face but it wasn't the usual look I got from him that I got from others when they saw the scars. He seemed curious. It was like he wanted to ask me why but didn't want to offend me. I wanted to ask him why he looked at me like that but I didn't want him to think he'd upset me. The more time I spent around the gang the less I cared about my scars. Even Rae had started caring less about keeping hers covered around them.

"What?" Finn sipped self consciously at his can of cider.
"Nothing. Sorry I was miles away." I turned my head away from staring at him,choosing instead to look at the scuffed toes of my boots.

We were sitting out on a field, not too far from the park I'd been to my first night in Lincolnshire. Most of us had been here for around an hour, we were just waiting on Chop and Archie. Chop said he was sorting something brilliant and Archie said he wanted to try something. God knows what.

I moved to lay down beside Rae, closing my eyes against the sunlight.
"Afternoon Teddy Bear." Oh yeah. I forgot to mention, Chop christened me with a new nickname. A bit too cutesy for my personal taste but I can live with it.
"Raemundo." I smiled. "How's the love life?"
"Alright actually."
"Oh yeah?"
"Jason McCormick from school asked her on a date." Izzy interrupted.
"Shit, Rae. When?" I rolled onto my side, propping myself up on my elbow.
"Friday night."
"Did you say yes?"
"Have you seen Jason? Of course I said yes!" Rae laughed.
"God, does anyone know when Chop and Archie are gonna get here?" Finn called over to us, sitting in a hump by himself.
"Fed up of the girly chatter, Finn?" Chloe chuckled. Finn just shook is head at us.

Eventually Chop arrived with Archie in tow. The first thing I noticed was not the mega watt grin on Chop's face, but the battered acoustic slung around Archie's torso. He walked straight over to sit next to me, obviously noticing the terror on my face.
"Calm down, Ted it's just a guitar. Thought we could chill, maybe have a sing song."
"Yes! I might finally get to hear Teddy sing!" Rae grinned, sitting up.
"You live with her." Finn frowned.
"So?"
"How can you not have heard her sing?"
"She's shy..." Rae trailed off, the reasoning being obvious.

"That can wait." Chop interrupted. "Party. Saturday. My place."
"Wicked. What kind of party?" Chloe asked.
"As per request. A sexy party. No sleeping in my bed though, that's for me and Izzy." Chop winked at the flame haired girl causing a blush to spread across her features.
"Question Chopper..."
"Yes, my dear Teddy Bear?"
"What the fuck is a sexy party?" I frowned.
"Everyone brings a sleeping bag and no body asks any questions." Archie answered for him.
"Oh right. I haven't had a sleepover since I was a kid." Finn chuckled behind his can as Chop pouted.
"Shut up."

A little while later and Archie began strumming the guitar, a tune I instantly recognized as Don't Look Back In Anger by the legendary Oasis.
"Tune." I mumbled as I lay back on the grass.
"Sing it." Rae insisted, nudging my foot with the toe of her converse.
"You sing it."
"I can't sing."
"How do you know I can?"
"You told me."
"I didn't say I sung well."
"Slip inside the eye of your mind. Don't you know you might find, a better place to play." Archie sung over the top of our bickering. "You said that you'd never been. All the things that you've seen. Will slowly fade away." He glanced over his shoulder at me. "At least sing the chorus with me."

"So I'll start the revolution from my bed. Cos you said the brains I had went to my head. Step outside 'coz summertime's in bloom." Chop's tuneless voice cut through my mind making me grin despite trying not to join in.
"Stand up beside the fireplace. Take that look from off your face. You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out."Archie and Chop now sung together and I noticed Rae watching me closely.

With a sigh, still lay on my back I began to sing softly. "So Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by. Her soul slides away, But don't look back in anger, I heard you say."
"Waaaaay!" Chop and Rae cheered together. "Do a verse, bit louder." Chop instructed, standing over me and pulling me into a seated position by my hands.

I crossed my legs, looking down and fiddling with the untied lace of my boot. "Take me to the place where you go. Where nobody knows if it's night or day."
"Louder!" Chloe shouted. Archie chuckled beside me.
"Please don't put your life in the hands. Of a Rock n Roll band. Who'll throw it all away." I sung now at my normal volume. Finn turned to watch Archie and I, beside each other finish the song.

"Gonna start the revolution from my bed. 'Coz you said the brains I had went to my head. Step outside 'coz summertime's in bloom. Stand up beside the fireplace, take that look from off your face. 'Coz you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out." I had to admit, our voices fit well together. We would sound pretty good if we did a proper duet together.

"So Sally can wait!" Chop and Rae joined in loudly for the chorus. "She knows it's too late as she's walking on by. My soul slides away. But don't look back in anger, I heard you say. So Sally can wait. She knows it's too late as we're walking on by. Her soul slides away. But don't look back in anger, I heard you say. So Sally can wait. She knows it's too late as she's walking on by."
Archie and I finished the song together. "My soul slides away. But don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger, I heard you say. At least not today."

We were met with a round of applause from the whole gang. Finn had even put his can down and had a grin on his face.
"You should, like I said, do a proper duet!" Rae was beaming. "Why don't you do a song at the pub?"
"No." My voice cut over Archie's 'why not'. "Never in a million years will I get up on stage and sing."
"You'll come round."
"No I won't." I lay back down on the grass, closing my eyes once more.

"How do you go about asking someone a question that could make them think they've upset you?" I propped my feet up on the low coffee table in Kester's office.
"Mind if I ask who and what?"
"Finn. And I...Well he looked at my arms."
"Your scars?"
"Mm. But he didn't look repulsed like everyone else does."
"Oh. How did he look?"
"Like he wanted to know why I did it. I just want to know why he looked like that."
"You want to know the easiest way to ask..." I nodded and Kester smiled. "Just ask."
"That's not helpful." I pouted.
"That's the truth. There's no easy way to ask the hard questions. You just have to go for it." Kester leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "If he thinks he upset you, just tell him he didn't."
"Right. I'll give that a go on Saturday then."
"What's Saturday?"
"Sexy-...A Party."
Kester smirked. "Well, have fun. I presume Rae's going."
"Yeah. I think so."
"Rae told me you sung in front of people yesterday."
"Oh. Yeah. I sung on the park with Archie. Why?"
"Well, according to your records you wouldn't even sing in front of your therapist a few months ago." Kester was still smiling. "You're getting more confident around people."

I frowned. He was right in a way. I'd gotten close to the gang and didn't feel like they were going to laugh at me if I said something stupid. Well...Actually they did laugh if I said something stupid but it was never malicious laughter. It was jokey friendly banter. I enjoyed it. It made me comfortable. I'd finally found people who I was happy to be myself around. Kester chuckled and I realized I'd been sat smiling to myself for the past few minutes.

"I'll take it you agree then?"
"Maybe."

It was Saturday, finally. It was still early morning but I couldn't resist slipping back into Rae's room to see how her date went. She was seemingly fast asleep when I sat cross legged on the end of her bed. I poked her leg only for her to kick me.
"Hey!" I groaned. "Wake up!" I poked her again, this time receiving a pillow to my head.
"Go away."
"How was the date?" Suddenly a grin spread across her face.
"Brilliant."
"Oh yeah?" I asked in a suggestive tone.
"I'm not a slut you know." Rae sat up now, unable to keep the smile from her face.
"But you kissed?"
"Kissed? Full on snogged."
"And?"
"A bit of touching." Rae wiggled her eyebrows before we both erupted into laughter.
"Is Jason going to Chop's party tonight?"
"Yeah." I smiled, shaking my head. "What's up?"
"What? Nothing." Lie. Lie. Lie. Rae raised her eyebrows. "Fine! You remember what I said about Finn looking at my arms?"
"Yeah..."
"Kester thinks I should just ask him about it."
"Kester's right."
"He always bloody is isn't he?"

Later in the day I practically destroyed my bedroom trying to find something to wear. Luckily Chloe and Izzy had decided to come and get ready at ours so I had two fashionable girls and Rae who could help me keep my own style. I ended up in knee length denim cut offs with an Oasis shirt. Chloe decided to cut the sleeves off the top making it a vest and it was then that I realized my arms were completely bare. I shrugged it off deciding to just brave the worst, pulling on my denim jacket and doc martin boots. Chloe made my hair slightly wavy and Izzy did my make up, dark and misty. I took a brief look in the mirror, deciding I'll do, since we were only going to Chop's place not some red carpet event.
"Ready?" Chloe asked.
I nodded with a smile."Ready."