***Disclaimer: I don't own Glee but adore Samcedes.

At Mercedes' dressing room

"Oh hell to the no, Tina! I am not letting that country bumpkin come on my team." Mercedes was fuming as she paced the floor of her dressing room. Tina managed to waddle her and Mercedes back to Mercedes' dressing room to de-escalate the situation before World War 3 erupted. Tina watched Mercedes as she sat on the plush velvet couch.

"Did you hear how he talked to me?" Mercedes murmured as she wore a groove into the floor.

"Mercedes, it wasn't that-" Tina tried to interrupt but Mercedes was in her own head.

"How dare he? How dare he? He's a nobody! A nobody. And he is going to stay a nobody when I am done with him."

Mercedes walked behind the screen panels to change her outfit. Tina tried to hide the smile on her face thinking about the exchange between Sam and Mercedes. No one has spoken to Mercedes like that since she became "Ms. Mercedes Jones." It was hysterical and scary at the same time. Both powerhouses were not backing down. Tina and Puck had to pull their respective person to opposite sides before she feared they would come to blows.

"Mercedes, you cannot black ball him. He is not even in the music biz." Tina was finally able to respond. She took a deep breath, because she knew a fight was about to brew. "Besides that, you kind of need him." She covered her ears for the blast to come.

"What!" Mercedes bellowed. "The hell you say. He is the one who needs me." Tina rolled her eyes and rubbed her belly while she sat on the couch. She was feeling a little crampy all of a sudden.

"Mercedes, in case you have forgotten I am pregnant. Like really pregnant and we have run out of time for looking for someone to replace me. You have rejected everyone. There is no one else." Tina reached for the pitcher of water and glass on the table next to the couch. Her stomach was not settling well.

Mercedes emerged from behind the panels in blue jeans and a purple tank top. She walked to her dressing table and tied her hair up to a messy bun. She grabbed the cotton balls and makeup remover.

"It is not my fault if no one can come close to being half as good as you." She answered sternly. Tina smiled at Mercedes attempt at being kind.

"Aw thanks, Mercy…" Tina began but Mercedes waved at her hand in the air and cut her off.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're great, you're awesome. Now back to me." Mercedes rolled her eyes and pointed at herself. "I need someone pronto. And I am not going to get stuck with the man from HeeHaw." Mercedes sniped as she rubbed the moistened cotton ball across her face. Tina sipped the water and winced slightly at her cramps.

"You have to admit that he is pretty cute though." Tina managed to get out, while squeezing her eyes tightly. Mercedes looked into the mirror, thinking about Tina's comment. She had to agree with Tina on that. Sam Evans was cute. Actually, truth be told, he was fucking hot. He stood at 5'9, sandy short hair, dazzling blue eyes and muscle definition everywhere! Mercedes was entranced by those eyes when she first saw them after her pre-performance prayer. When she saw him looking at her, her knees nearly buckled. In that instant, she felt like he could actually see inside of her heart. His eyes were like a type of hypnotic drug that Mercedes wanted to jump head first into. The fact that he was wearing a sweater that clung to his body like a wet shirt didn't hurt either. Mercedes had to start fanning herself as she thought back to that first encounter. But then he had to open his mouth.

Never ever had any man spoken to her like that. Not even her own daddy! Once when she was in a Hollywood party with Little Wayne, he made a joke about her hair being a little messy. They had been dating for a month. Mercedes berated him so badly in front of the crowd that his eyes began to tear up. Then she shoved a piece of cake into his face and spent the rest of the night with Bow Wow. Just thinking about her confrontation with Sam made Mercedes want to punch him dead in the eye.

XXXX

Backstage Hall way

"I am out, Puck. I am out of here. Fuck the money, fuck the bills and fuck that chick over there!" Sam was blowing a gasket as he paced the hallway, while running his hands through his hair. Puck, who was leaning against a wall, was trying desperately to calm him down.

"Sam, calm down." Puck answered in a low voice, trying to reach for his friend's shoulder, but Sam dodged him.

"Oh no you don't! Don't give me that whole 'calm down and relax' speech. Did you see that woman?" Sam was still in shock by what happened. He had never been smacked in his life. The only time he came close to getting slapped was when he was breaking up with his ex-girlfriend Kitty. Sam knew she was apt to cause a scene so he thought he could divert it by breaking up at a restaurant. Kitty still managed to throw a fit by flinging everything on the table onto the floor. Sam was always the good guy that women ran to for a shoulder to cry on, not the guy women knocked upside the head. Puck on the other hand had his share of slaps. His number ranged somewhere between 30-40.

Puck lifted his hands. "Whoa, dude. I know okay. She is a bit much." Sam suddenly stopped pacing and looked at Puck in amazement.

"A bit much? That woman is bitch on wheels." Puck nodded his head.

"Okay, yeah she is. But Sam it's only for a few months. Just until the tour end."

"Puck, I don't think I can do it. I'll end up in the nuthouse." Puck tried to suppress his laughter, but it was rising from the pit of his stomach. Sam could tell it was there too by the expression on Puck's face. He pointed his finger at Puck.

"Don't you even start laughing at this shit, Puck. This is serious." Puck couldn't contain it anymore and starting laughing hysterically until tears came streaming down his face.

"Brother, she slapped the hell out of you!" he was able to squeak out in between laughter. Sam stood motionless watching his friend roll on the ground. When Puck was finally able to control himself, he grabbed Sam's hand and pulled himself up.

"Oh man, that was some hilarious shit." Puck gasped as he wiped his face of tears. Sam gave him a slow clap.

"Ha, ha, ha. Are you done now? Cuz we are leaving." Sam replied as he walked toward the exit. Puck held his arm and pulled him back.

"Alright, alright. I'm done. But seriously Sam it is only a few months."

"That's too many months to be with that demon spawn!"

"Well," Puck replied in a lower tone, "you can always go home to your folks." Puck hated to pull that gun out of his arsenal but knew Sam needed this money and would rather die before telling his folks that he was fired.

"How many months exactly?" Sam asked deadpan. Puck lifted his head and rubbed his chin with his fingers. Sam signed heavily waiting for Puck to calculate the time.

"I would say two and a half months." Sam rubbed his head, wishing he could wake up from the nightmare that was his life.

"That's it. Then I'm done?" Sam asked cautiously. Puck gave a mischievous grin and wrapped his arm around Sam.

"That's it, dude. And if you play your cards right, you get in good with some industry people, remind them who you are again, and you are back in there." Sam lifted his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I could do that, right?" Sam contemplated aloud. Puck began to rock Sam back and forth.

"Of course you can. You just let the wicked witch of the South ride her broomstick a couple of months and then you dump her and skip your happy ass down the yellow brick road." Sam smirked and started nodding.

"Maybe you're right." Sam stared at his hands, rubbing them slowly, hoping to get some divine intervention.

XXXX

"Tina, I just need this tour to be perfect. I don't want some model wannabe coming in and mucking the whole thing up." Mercedes snapped as she ended her twenty minute, non-stop rant about Sam. She finished and waited for a reply from Tina. When she didn't hear one, she turned to find Tina lying on the velvet couch, panting short breaths while rubbing her stomach. Tina was sweating up a storm and had one foot on the couch. Mercedes looked at her in panic and she quickly ran to her side.

"Tina, Tina! What's wrong?" Mercedes asked hysterically. Tina turned to Mercedes, eyes squinting and still panting.

"I've been telling you…he-he-ha…for the past twenty minutes…he-he-haw…that I think …he-he-haw…I am in labor." Tina winced as she looked up into Mercedes' bulging brown eyes.

"What! You have? Oh my God Tina, you were going in labor right here in front of me! How did I miss that? Am I that self-involved, that self-consumed-" Tina interrupted Mercedes by grabbing her by the lapel and pulling her towards her.

"This is about me now, Mercedes. Get me to the hospital now!" Tina screamed into her boss's ear. Mercedes nodded like she understood and began helping her off the couch and out the door. She grabbed Tina by the waist and started walking out of the dressing room.

The area backstage was surprisingly quiet and empty. Mercedes was trying to find someone to help get her car to take Tina to the hospital. The only people in the backstage area were Puck and Sam. Mercedes rolled her eyes when she saw them, cursing their presence. Puck spied Mercedes and Tina first, tilting his head to the side when he noticed the look on Tina's face.

"Tina, are you alright?" he asked as she and Mercedes neared them. Mercedes looked at Puck with disgust, sucking her teeth.

"Of course she's not you idiot! She is in labor."

"In labor!" Puck and Sam shouted simultaneously. Mercedes nodded and gestured for Puck to come hold Tina. Puck quickly ran to her side and held Tina up.

"Ok, I need to get my car and take her to the hospital." Mercedes spoke aloud to herself, as she rummaged through her purse. Sam watched as she practically emptied the purse on the floor.

"Where are your keys?" He yelled at her.

"What do you think I am looking for? Gum? I can't find them." Sam shook his head and reached into his pocket. He pulled out his keys.

"We'll take her. Our car is right here." Sam yelled as he grabbed Tina's other arm and started leading her out the door of the arena. Mercedes jumped in front of them, holding her hands up.

"Hell to the no! I don't even know you. You are not taking her to the hospital."

"Lady, get out of the way!" Sam screamed as he glared at Mercedes.

"No way. If you are taking her to the hospital, then I am going with you." Mercedes argued while she pushed Puck aside and took Tina's other arm. Sam let out a long sigh, as Puck shrugged grabbed the keys and ran to pull the car around to the door.

"Your big head probably couldn't even fit through the door!" Sam grumbled as he led Tina inside the car.

"I heard that you bobble head." Mercedes growled as she jumped into the passenger side seat.

"Now do you know how to get to the hospital?" Mercedes questioned harshly as Sam sped out of the parking lot.

"Yeah." Sam answered flatly, turning to the right.

"Well, hang a left on the next block to get on the expressway." Mercedes directed as she pointed her hand across Sam's face. Sam pushed her hand down so he could see the windshield.

"No. We are going to take a right to Main street and take it straight there." He argued.

"You will hit traffic down if you do that. Take the express way." She gritted through her teeth.

"The expressway will take us too far north." Sam spat while making a hard right onto Main Street. Mercedes glowered at him.

"Can you be any more hard-headed?" She asked exasperated.

"Can you be any more bossy?" He retorted.

"Can you both be any more annoying! Now shut up and get me to the hospital before I have my baby here in this car!" Tina screamed. Both Sam and Mercedes instantly shut their mouths as they watched Tina through the rear view mirror, gripping Puck's hand with both hands.