I don't have anything important or clever to say, so I'll just get right to it. Pokémon is the property of Nintendo, Gamefreak and several other companies, while Beast Wars and all other Transformers related media is the property of Hasbro and Takara Tomy. Blah. Blah. Enjoy.

Chapter 9: Fool's Gold

"I think I know why Megatron came to this planet." Professor Oak said as he led his human and Maximal houseguests down the long hallway. "Granted I'm not certain, but based on your description I believe I know what this Energon substance might be."

"You mean you've really seen this Energon stuff before, Professor?" Ash asked, confused but curious.

"I believe so, yes." The Professor answered as they reached the locked door at the end of the hall and he began to refile through his coat pocket for the key. "And if I'm right, then so have you. Along with every other young person who's ever chosen the life of a Trainer."

Once he finally found the key, the old researcher unlocked the door and opened it for his guests; giving them all a good view of the treasure trove within.

Whoa…" went Ash as he stepped into the room with eyes full of wonder.

"Pika…" said the tiny Mouse Pokémon on his shoulder; mirroring his own astonishment.

Brock, May and the other humans were likewise impressed, and rightfully so, for what they saw was quite possibly the largest collection of Evolution Stones any of them had ever seen.

Fire Stones, Water Stones, Thunder Stones, Moon Stones, Sun Stones, and several other varieties the young trainer had never seen before. There were even some Held Items too, like Ice Rocks and King's Rocks. And they were all ornately displayed in glass cases and on velvet pillows, with little cards detailing their sizes, attributes and places of origin. It was almost like a museum, only compressed into a single room roughly twice the size of his mom's kitchen.

"Oh man… this is… this is really something." Ash said clumsily; still enraptured by what he was seeing. "Tracey, did you know this room was back here?"

"Of course I knew it was back here. I live here." The former Pokémon Watcher replied, sounding slightly annoyed by the question. "But still, it never gets old."

"Oh, wow~ Look at all this stuff!" Max exclaimed, momentarily forgetting his suspicions as he zipped from one display to another with the speed of a Ninjask. "Leaf Stones, Dawn Stones, and just look at the size of that Ice Rock! Professor, this is the most incredible collection I've ever seen."

"Well, thank you, Max." the old researcher replied, blushing a little at the compliment. "It's been sort of a hobby of mine since I was a boy. But anyway, what do you think, gentlemen? Is this what you're looking for?"

The three 'gentlemen', namely Optimus, Backstop and Rattrap, did not give an immediate answer, for they too were quite in awe of the Professor's collection; though probably for entirely different reasons.

"Hmm… perhaps." The Maximal leader answered unsurely. "With your permission, Professor, I'd like my Science Officer to have a closer look at one of these… Stones."

"Yes, of course, by all means."

"Very well then. Backstop…"

"I'm way ahead of ya." The Maximal Science Office said as he lumbered over to the nearest display case, carefully opened the glass lid and then picked up a medium sized Water Stone. "Computer: Perform Level 9 Scan."

Moments later, the pupils in Backstop's eyes became like telescopic lenses and thin streams of light washed over the Stone in his hand.

"Hmmm… interesting." The Aggron automaton said as his eyes returned to normal. "No… this doesn't make much sense."

"What is it, Backstop?" Optimus asked concernedly.

"Well… I'm not quite sure how to say this, but according to my scanners this stuff is Energon, but at the same time it's not Energon."

"And just what in the name of Merry Hell does that mean?" Rattrap asked with his usual level of decorum. "How the scrap can it be Energon and not Energon at the same time?"

"If you'd kindly shut up for a moment, I'll explain." Backstop answered crossly. "Now as I was saying, these Evolving Stones or whatever they're called are undoubtedly the source of all the radiation on this planet, but the arrangement of the atoms is inconsistent with that of standard Energon or any known isotope. And I've never seen Energon that looked like this before."

"Any theories?" Optimus asked calmly.

"Not yet. I'll need more data first."

"I see…" the Maximal leader said as he stood silently for a moment in thought. "The Axalon's scanners detected high concentrations of Energon Radiation in urban areas. Professor, do these Stones have a practical use on this planet or are they just for decoration?"

Professor Oak scratched the back of his head and sighed before he answered.

"That… might take a little time to explain."

XXX

While the other Maximals were receiving an impromptu crash course on the Principals of Pokémon Evolution, Houndor was left to guard the prisoners in the living room. Not that he really had to do anything, what with them being largely immobilized thanks to the Stasis Cuffs. So the Axalon's resident rookie resigned himself to relaxing on the couch and chewing on an old soup bone given to him by the Professor, while he allowed his captives to talk amongst themselves.

"You know, Jess. I've been thinking." James said in a casual, almost dreamy manner.

"That's funny. So was I." replied his female companion with a similar air. "What were you thinking about?"

"It's just… well, 20,000 dollars isn't exactly a fortune, but it's not nothing either." He said awkwardly before pausing a moment to collect his thoughts. "Tell me, Jess. What's the most fun you've had since we started following the Twerps?"

"Oh that's easy. It was when we were running that salon on Scissor Street and… Gasp. James, you're not suggesting we…"

"I am, Jessie. I say if we ever get out of this alive, let's take the money and go somewhere far away. Somewhere where nobody knows us, like Kalos or Galar. Somewhere where they'll appreciate our unique sense of style."

"Like where? Mars?" Meowth asked sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up!" Jessie spat back venomously. "No one's forcing you to come along. We're not teammates anymore, so you can just go off and join that circus you're suddenly so fond of."

"I'd love to, really, but the truth is youse two wouldn't last a month without me. So it looks like I'm stuck with ya."

At this, Jessie just rolled her eyes before she continued.

"Well anyway, I think it's a wonderful idea, James. In fact, I was thinking the same thing myself, but with one slight alteration."

"Really? What's that?"

"I'll tell you in a minute." The cunning redhead said before turning to their jailer. "Hey, Fido. Can I have some water?"

"Hmm…" went Houndor as he got up from his soup bone. "Well… I guess even a prisoner has a right to a cool drink. But I can't transform into Robot Mode right now, so I can't promise it won't have dog slobber."

"Right now I don't care if it's radioactive. I've had worse." Jessie replied bluntly.

"Well… alright." The canine Maximal said casually, before hopping off the sofa and walking off to the kitchen.

Once he was out of sight and earshot, Jessie leaned in close to her two cohorts and whispered to them.

"James, we're going to start our new lives in Kalos, but not until we've stolen that Pikachu."

"What?" replied James in a baffled whisper. "Why?"

"Revenge. Pure and simple. The Twerp's humiliated us a thousand times and I say we pay him back in spades. And I can't think of any worse torture for him than to see his precious little buddy turned into Salon Roquette's official mascot and spokesmodel."

"Oh~ I love it when you're wicked, Jess." Her male companion said approvingly. "But if we start spending money on robots and stuff, we'll be broke again in no time."

"Forget the robots. Forget pitfalls and all that other junk. We don't need them. All we need are our brains and a Trading Machine. And we can use those for free at any Pokémon Center."

"But we already tried that. The Twerp won't give in to threats."

"We don't need threats either. A Trading Machine will work as long as you've got two Pokeballs and can push a button. It doesn't care if the trade is consensual or if both trainers are even there. Remember how I lost my Lickitung?"

"Ah~ I think I'm pickin' up what yer puttin' down." Meowth said, suddenly sounding interested. "Only one problem. The Twerp never puts Pikachu in his Pokeball."

"True, but suppose we were to arrange a little accident. Something way out the wilderness; miles from the nearest Pokémon Center. If Pikachu was hurt bad enough, the Twerp would have to put him in his Pokeball to keep him from getting worse. That'd be the perfect chance to swipe it."

"Yes, well it all sounds good on paper, Jess. But before we do anything, we've got to get out of these cuffs before somebody calls the cops." James pointed out concernedly.

"I know, and I think I've got an answer for that too." Jessie said, pausing for a moment to make sure their four legged jailer was still out of the room. "Okay, boys. Here's what we're gonna do…"

XXX

After several failed attempts to explain the concept of Pokémon Evolution verbally, Professor Oak decided that perhaps a visual aid might yield better results. Fortunately, Ash was more than happy to lend his Pokedex for such a cause.

"Oh, I see." Backstop said as he looked over the section of Eevees and their various Evolutions. "So the radiation from the crystals activates the dormant genetic potential in certain lifeforms and triggers a spontaneous metamorphosis. Why didn't you just say that before?"

"I thought I did." The old researcher replied embarrassedly.

"Well, it was that word you kept using, 'Evolution', that threw me off. It's an inaccurate term to apply to this sort of thing."

"Perhaps, but it's the most widely accepted term and it's unlikely to change any time soon."

"Well, all of that aside, what's your opinion, Backstop? Can this stuff still be processed into fuel?" asked Optimus Primal hopefully.

"To tell you the truth, I'm not so sure." The Maximal Science Officer admitted. "I'll have to perform more tests back on the ship, but based solely on my initial scan, it is my professional opinion that even if we could process this stuff into a liquid state, and at the moment that looks like a pretty big if, the resulting substance would severely damage whatever machine we put it in; slowly over the course of several days, if not immediately."

"So in other words, the Preds committed high treason and flew halfway across the universe for nothin'." Rattrap said, not even attempting to hide his amusement. "Oh man, I would pay to see the look on Megatron's face when he finds out."

"Fool's Gold." Optimus muttered solemnly as he shook his head. "Fifteen security officers, plus the crews of three orbital patrol ships and Primus only knows how many civilians. All dead. And all for a treasure map that leads to a mountain of fool's gold. What a waste."

The atmosphere in the room suddenly became very heavy as the Maximal leader's words seemed to hit everyone at once.

Fortunately, before things could get too depressing, the distant ring of a telephone drew everyone's attention.

"Oh, sorry, everyone. That'll be for me." The Professor said apologetically. "I'll be back in a moment."

XXX

A few minutes later, Professor Oak was sitting in front of the Video Phone in his lab. Eager to resume his conversation with his new extraterrestrial friends, but not wanting to appear rude to whomever might be calling, the older researcher put on a friendly face before picking up the receiver.

"Hello."

A split-second later, the image of a beautiful woman with dark plum colored hair appeared on the screen. It was Professor Ivy, Professor Oak's younger and inarguably more attractive colleague from the Orange Archipelago, looking quite distraught.

"Samuel! Thank heavens! I've been trying to get in touch with you for over an hour." The lovely researcher said exasperatedly.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Philena. I'm entertaining guests today and I must not 've heard you before. What seems to be the trouble?"

"To be honest, I'm not really sure what to make of it myself. But we've got something of a situation down here in the islands and what with you being one of the world's leading authorities on Pokémon behavior and development, I thought you might be able to provide some insight.

"Well, I'll certainly try to help in any way I can. Tell me, what sort of situation is it?"

"I know this might sound absurd, and mind you, I haven't seen anything myself, but according to eyewitnesses, earlier today, four young trainers, including the Trovita Island Gym Leader, were abducted by a group of talking Pokémon."

And just like that, the old researcher's blood ran cold.

"D-D-Did you say talking Pokémon?"

End Notes:

Dun. Dun. Dun~

Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one.

Peace.