A/N: Major shout-outs to my two wonderful betas khazrn43 and luvtheheaven.
December 2nd, 2012,
My dear Finn,
I'm writing to you on the train back to Bushwick. I know that we just said goodbye a few short hours earlier, but I cannot stop thinking about you, about all of us. How am I supposed to go back to school, and pretend like nothing ever happened? Well maybe not pretend that nothing happened, but going back to New York life, leaving part of Lima behind me again.
At least I have the Winter Showcase to keep me occupied. You should have seen my dads when I told them the news – they acted like I was nominated for a Tony. They are both making the trip out to New York to see me perform, and I would love it if you could come too. If there was a chance you could get off the Army base, even if it was only to see you for a few short hours.
Speaking of life on the base, I hope they aren't planning on transferring you to anywhere dangerous in the near future. Lately I've been having these dreams, even before Mike's accident, where you were being sent off to some war torn city and get wounded in the line of battle. I would receive a formal letter from the base, and phone calls from Carole and Burt. You could end up with a terrible case of amnesia and not remember who I am at all, or even worse, remember me as the lonely high schoolsophomore, and you as the popular football player. A love as great as ours should not have such a tragic ending.
Speaking of tragic endings, Kurt seems to think that there is no hope for himself and Blaine. I tried to tell him that time would heal wounds, but it's too early for him to hear any of it. I really thought that you and I, and Blaine and Kurt would get houses next to each other, have weekly family dinners, and share each other's successes and failures. That dream can't happen if they break up for good. I know you mentioned that you are close to Blaine, especially now that Kurt and I are in New York. I want you to watch out for him, because right now I can't and Kurt wants nothing to do with him. Blaine shouldn't be alone, and I know that he has the underclassmen, but we were all so close once, and now we're in separate places and…
I can't even write about it anymore, it is too upsetting, and I want to be as happy as I can considering, when I get back to Bushwick. Of course I'll be dealing with more of Cassandra July and her totalitarian dance class, but if I can survive one semester, surely I can survive another. She doesn't scare me quite as much as she used to, and the teaching assistant for the class is very helpful. Then there's the fact that there's always a smaller group in her advanced class, probably because most of the students have quit and transferred out, but still, there's less competition to contend with. As competitive as I am, and I really know that I am, there are people far worse than me out there, people that you can't even imagine.
Well stay safe wherever you are. By the time you get this, you'll be back on base and I'll be doing my New York routine. I can't wait for your next letter, and I really do hope that you can come hear me sing again – it's not every day a freshman gets picked for the Winter Showcase.
Love Forever,
Rachel.