Chapter Twenty-Eight: Truth is Truth

"James," Fleamont Potter said to his only son.

"Father," he replied evenly.

"Why have you not joined the Black boy at Malfoy Manor? Hogwarts holds nothing now. Certain among our number are growing… suspicious of you. I must say, I cannot blame them."

"You have nothing to worry about," James said. He'd locked the door to the seventh-year Slytherin boys' dorms so that he and his father could have this conversation in private, but his shoulder blades still itched. Perhaps he didn't like talking to his father's disembodied head in the fireplace.

Perhaps he simply didn't like talking to his father, full stop.

"I'm doing what you told me to," he continued. "I'm convincing Dumbledore and the Order that I regret everything I've done and I want to join their side. I haven't hurt anyone in months – even my enemies admit it. I'm above reproach."

"Not yet," his father said. "But you will be. That's when we'll strike. Are you certain nobody suspects your motives? Delilah Black seems, well…" Fleamont Potter trailed off gracefully, choosing not to finish the sentence.

"She saw you Cruciate me," James said. "I'm sure she has no doubt that I'd want to get away from that." Their eyes locked on each other's.

"So it seems," his father said carelessly. "Walburga warns me that her niece is something liberal. Is she a part of the Order, do you think?"

"Probably not," James said. "But even if she were, Bellatrix and Narcissa would never let you lay a finger on their youngest sister. And nor would I. Are we done here?"

"For now," Fleamont said. "Never forget who you are, boy."

He flashed away. The fire was left burning merrily, until James extinguished it with a slash of his wand and moved to unlock the door.

A banner bearing the Potter coat of arms hung on his headboard, with the motto stitched in gold underneath it. His mouth twisted as he caught sight of it.

ubi lapsus quid feci

Where have I fallen, what have I done?

Lily arrived at Charms tutoring a whole five minutes early, levitating in front of her a jug of pumpkin juice, two goblets, and a plate of biscuits. One goblet was already full of the bright orange liquid. After all, she had no intention of consuming the Veritaserum herself.

She set up a table in the most secluded corner of the Library. Her hands were strangely steady as she withdrew a tiny vial from her robes, deftly uncorking it to shake three colourless drops into the jug. Not even the slightest tremor jittered up her fingers.

Did she care so little, then?

No. She cared too much. Now, finally, she was going to have her answers.

Lily took a deep breath to compose herself and settled into her chair, just as James sauntered up.

"Hello," he said. He blinked as he took the food in. "Special occasion?"

"I decided to try my hand at baking," she said as he sat down opposite her. "Here, have a biscuit. Pumpkin juice?"

"If you insist," he said. Was that wariness on his face?

Lily poured some juice into the empty goblet. The act of handing it to him seemed to happen in slow motion, fragmenting into a series of images – their fingers brushing as the goblet changed hands, the bare white line of his throat when he tilted his head back to take a sip, the bob of his Adam's apple when he swallowed.

She could not look away.

"So," James said, "I reckon I'm ready for us to start –"

What he might have said next, she would never know.

"Incarcero!"

She had whipped her wand out to conduct the spell. Immediately chains burst out of his chair and busily wound themselves around him, tightening the more he struggled. But she had underestimated him. He was James Potter, after all.

"Expelliarmus!"

She did not even have time to react. Lily's wand was jerked out of her hand and flew across the table to settle in James's grip, clasped alongside his own wand, which he had somehow managed to extract from his pocket or wherever it was he kept it. The chains began to retract.

Her heart suddenly pounding, Lily whirled around to run – God, that had been so quick, so stupid of her – but she felt the hard clamp of fingers around her upper arm.

"Not so fast," he purred into her ear.

She was alone and wandless with a James Potter she had just tried to bind to his chair. He didn't need to be a Death Eater to be angry with her about that. She felt hysterical laughter bubbling up and tried to quash it.

"Muffliato," he said. He edged her around the table until her back bumped up against a shelf, his body looming over hers and pressing into her front. His hazel eyes were hard. "Now, what the hell was that?"

Her only advantage was that he had taken the Veritaserum and would be compelled to answer all of her questions. Unfortunately, she was in no position to be asking any.

Well, actually…

"Going to Imperio me again, James?" she taunted. He was close enough that she could feel his warm breath on her face, and her breasts were crushed painfully against the hardness of his chest. "Was once not enough for you?"

"I have no intention of doing that to you," he said. Then he looked astonished. Was that not what he'd meant to say? Lily rushed on before he could start thinking about it.

"Where's Sirius?"

"In Malfoy Manor," James said rapidly. His eyes widened in horror. "Fuck, have you – is that – Veritaserum?"

Lily capitalised on his state of horrified distraction to wrest her wand out of his grip and duck out of his arms. She had her wand up and pointing at him immediately. Not that she would be able to hex him, because his own wand was instantly trained on her too. Stalemate.

"Maybe," she said sweetly. "Now. What are your personal feelings on blood purity?"

"Purebloods are obviously the best but I don't loathe Muggleborns," he ground out between clenched teeth. The effort he was expending in trying to fight the truth potion made veins bulge out in his fists. Lily found herself unaccountably amused.

"Well, that's actually better than I was expecting," she said. "What's the Order?"

"The Order of the Phoenix. Bunch of do-gooders. Stooges of Dumbledore."

"Your opinion of them?"

"They couldn't find their own arses with a roadmap," he said, so honest it was killing him, and she burst out laughing.

"Why would Sirius ever think you might join them, then?"

"Because he doesn't know," James hissed.

Lily shifted, all amusement gone. Now they were getting somewhere. "What doesn't Sirius know?" And then, when his face worked furiously instead of answering: "Tell me! Now!"

"That I'm trying to persuade Dumbledore to let me in," he said finally. "That it's my job to pretend I'm defecting. That sometimes I wish I really were. That I'm glad I'm really not. That I used to wish I were him, so confident of my place in the world, so sure I knew I was right. That I had to throw the Quidditch try-outs in third year so he'd get onto the team. That I actually quite like Regulus. That –"

Lily realised that the Veritaserum was forcing him to reveal everything that answered her question, no matter how hotly the rage flared in his eyes as the sentences poured from lips. This was fascinating stuff. Not least the fact that, apparently, he was the same James Potter he'd always been, only playing at redemption the way she'd used to play at dress-up.

She really hadn't expected any differently, if she were to be honest with herself. And part of her – the part that knew what to do with Dark pureblood boys, the part that knew she could always hurt him worse than he'd hurt her – thrilled at it.

"Enough," she said. "That's enough."

His mouth snapped shut, but she was prepared when it immediately opened again.

"Tarantallegra!"

"Protego!"

Her Shield Charm deflected the ray of blue light that had issued from his wand, forcing her to duck. She countered at once.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

The Body-Bind Curse missed him by millimetres.

"Doing this," he said, "was a really, really big mistake, Lily. For you. There's only so far your name and my word can go to keep you safe. Locomotor Mortis!"

"Oh?" she said scornfully as she dissipated his Leg-Locker. Her blood was humming under her skin, the way it did after she won Quidditch matches. This was not the same Lily who had bowed meekly to his Imperius two years ago, and, surprisingly enough, this was not the same James who had cast it. Lily realised with a rush of astonishment that their roles had more or less reversed.

After all, hadn't he said under Veritaserum that he wouldn't do it again?

"Flipendo!"

He activated his own Shield Charm. "Are we duelling, then?" His voice was as unhurried a drawl as she had ever heard it, but there was a violent glitter in his eyes. She grinned at him.

"So it seems," she said. A single Oppugno caused the table to rocket towards him, making him hiss and blast it with a Reducto curse. The plate and goblets fell to the floor with ringing clangs. It was a good thing he'd cast Muffliato beforehand, she thought.

And then – with the table out of the way – they began to duel in earnest.

AN: And ye shall know the truth...

Sorry this chapter is so late! I was making the key lime pie I alluded to a few days ago :D I'll let you all know tonight how it tastes! I'M SO EXCITED.

Ellie - I'm tons better now, thanks for asking! Suddenly got a load of work from uni though which I was NOT expecting... still at least my quarantine isn't boring! How's yours? How are your shifts going? xxx

Shruthi - Thank you! Good to know I don't write like a 13-year-old anymore haha. I love that headcanon you mentioned! I totally see it happening haha. Part of me is always sad that Lily doesn't have a ride-or-die best friend in canon like James does :( xxx