Chapter Thirty-One: When Madmen Lead the Blind

Lupin was waiting in the greenhouse like they had planned, squinting at a piece of parchment. He rolled it up as Lily entered.

"Good, you're here," he said. "I've thought of how we can leave. There's a –"

"Not so fast," she interrupted. "Explain to me exactly why you're leaving Hogwarts with me, again."

He sighed impatiently. "Because Hogwarts is not where things are happening, alright? All the other players in this particular game have already gone to get their pieces set up. I – we – need to do the same."

"We," she repeated.

"Yes, we. Things are going to get… difficult for me if I stay in Hogwarts."

"Why?" Lily said suspiciously. He ran his hands through his sandy hair.

"Do you remember Hestia Carrow?"

"Of course. It would hardly be easy to forget," she said drily.

"Well, I don't know how, but she's found out what I am. There's a proper epidemic of finding me out going around Hogwarts right now, apparently."

Lily caught the lightning-fast glance he flicked at her. "I didn't tell her!" she said, stung. "I'm a Black. My word is as good as an Unbreakable Vow. If I said I wouldn't tell anyone, then I haven't."

"Alright," Lupin said calmly. "If you say so."

She gritted her teeth at his tone, but let it go. "I think we should go to Malfoy Manor," she said. "That's where everyone is, isn't it?"

His eyebrows shot up. "Well, yes, but it's a little… extreme, isn't it? You do know what they mean by everyone, don't you?"

"He's there?" she gasped. "In my sister's home?"

Suddenly, the spectre of Voldemort loomed nearer than it had in years; she knew he existed, of course, and Bellatrix spoke of him often, but somehow she had always struggled to grasp that he was a living, breathing, human being. He had existed on the edges of her awareness for so long, but always more as shadow than substance. And now –

"Quite so," Lupin said. "And even if you have the Order behind you, it's far too dangerous."

Lily stared. "You think I have the Order of the Phoenix behind me," she clarified.

He stared back, looking suddenly blank. "Well. Has Dumbledore never mentioned them to you?"

She folded her legs under her and settled on the cold floor. "No. He hasn't. I haven't spoken to Dumbledore in an age, not since he told me about Sirius leaving – what on earth made you think I had the Order behind me?" Her voice had risen to a shout by the end of it.

He sat down beside her. "I assumed. Well, you don't like the Dark Lord, do you? And you don't like James, and you don't like Sirius, and the natural thing to do would have been to get yourself in with the Order…"

"I only found out about the Order this afternoon, Lupin," she said quietly. "I drugged James with Veritaserum to make him tell me."

"I see," he said at last. "Alright. I did think we'd have prior support going into this, but…"

He trailed off. Lily had raised her wand and was pointing it at him.

"What game are you playing at, Lupin?" she said. "So you're grateful to Dumbledore, fine. That doesn't change the fact that James and Sirius are your best friends, and have been for years. Don't try to convince me you're plotting against them."

"I'm not," he said. "I never would. I'm not even in the Order myself, and Dumbledore has never asked me to be."

She barked a laugh. "But you are willing to do him favours, it seems. How is that not plotting against James and Sirius? I hope you aren't expecting me to believe that James and my cousin are secretly on Dumbledore's side. That ship has sailed."

"That was the point," he said. "They've twisted and turned and lied to everybody and told the truth to people who wouldn't believe them and sometimes I don't even know if they know what side they're on themselves, they've shed their skins so many times. But they're snakes. That's what snakes do. And deep down, I know what side they're really on."

"Their own," she said. He shrugged.

"Well, luckily for Albus Dumbledore, what they want and what he wants happens to coincide quite nicely."

Lily stood up agitatedly. "That's it," she said. "If you want to come with me – we had better go now. I'm not staying in ignorance for another moment."

Lupin rose as well, dusting himself down.

"Finally," he said. "Come with me."

James sat on the window seat of the bedroom he had been given, staring fixedly at the moon. The room was as tasteful and luxurious as one would expect of Malfoy Manor – and yet he still found himself slightly homesick for the cosy Slytherin common room under the lake and his own four-poster bed.

He heard the door bang open behind him. There was no need to bother turning around. Only one person would barge in on him without permission, and that person had been doing it since they were eleven years old.

He hadn't used to bring a guest along, though.

"Prongs!" Sirius sang out. "Why the long face, my friend?"

"Go away," James said. He could see his best friend's reflection in the window. Sirius's hair was rakishly mussed, and purple love-bites spotted his neck. That had never been an unusual occurrence; what was unusual, however, was the squirming brunette girl Sirius held in the crook of his arm. There had never previously been a girl he kept around for longer than it took to get off.

Judging from the sounds emanating from their bedroom, they'd already gotten off. Multiple times. And yet Sirius Black was still taking Marlene McKinnon everywhere.

Sirius was both better and worse than James; James knew that he did not force girls into having sex with him. Not like he had done with Lily. But still, still, even when the girl in question was undeniably willing as Lily had not been, something about this situation felt unusual.

In the reflection on the glass, the girl's eyes did look a little too brilliant.

James finally deigned to turn around. Sirius was whispering something into the ear of a giggling Marlene, one hand snaking inside her robes. The sound of her throaty moan grated on James's nerves.

"What did you want?" he snapped.

"Hmm?" Sirius said distractedly. "Oh… your dad's here now, he wanted to see you… Ah, there we go –"

He began backing her towards the bed. James's bed. James saw red.

"Diffindo!"

Sirius hissed as the spell slashed through the flesh of his arms. He turned his head, scowling. "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes," he growled back. Then his mouth twisted. Marlene was running her fingers along the wounds he'd made, dipping them in; the tips came out wet with blood, and she was bringing them towards her own mouth, her expression dreamy. Sirius watched her with a predatory gleam in his eyes.

"For fuck's sake," James muttered. He swung himself off the window-seat. If they wanted his room so badly, they could have it.

He wondered what Lily was doing, and ruthlessly suppressed the thought. He had to stop thinking about her: she was the reason he was even here in the first place, the plan to ingratiate himself with Dumbledore now a dead end. His father would not be pleased.

But he had never been able to stop thinking about her. That had always been his downfall.

He did not even have the Marauder's Map, abandoned with Remus when he had fled, so he could not lie awake and trace her movements through Hogwarts as he had done on so many nights. Tomorrow, he would undoubtedly cross paths with Bellatrix and Narcissa. Neither at first glance looked anything like Lily, but their mannerisms – the way the former tossed her head, the latter's cool reserve – haunted him. Sometimes even Sirius looked like her, when he was in certain moods.

James swore viciously and slammed his bedroom door shut behind him. He was in Malfoy Manor and she was at Hogwarts: they would not see each other again for a long, long time. He had to put her out of his head. The Dark Lord was most probably a Legilimens, and he could already mould men's minds like no-one else; he did not need to know of James's only weakness.

After all, the Dark Lord was known for rewarding his followers with the very thing they craved most. And James was not at all certain that – if it were offered to him – he would have the strength to refuse.

AN: And here's the last full chapter I wrote, four years ago! You can expect the final interlude tomorrow morning. I'll discuss then what my updating schedule will look like. Without putting too fine a point on it, more reviews would definitely induce me to institute a more generous updating schedule... :P

Diana, thank you so much for your review! Totally made my day. I'm so happy you're enjoying!

B - if you haven't, check out captainraychill (I think that's how you spell it) and specifically their Dramione fic With Elegance, Narcissa Malfoy! It's only a one-shot but it has the most glorious portrayal of her character, and I'm heavily influenced by it in all my fics. You're totally right lol I'm not spoiling anything (mostly becasue I'm planning the rest of the story tomorrow morning haha) xxx

Ellie - I really like flashes of dark Lupin! He's the lightest figure in this story so far but I think a lot about that argument he has with Harry in Deathly Hallows in Grimmauld Place, where I think we see his temper for the first time really. It's an eye-opener. I was really worried I wouldn't be able to portray Voldemort correctly so I'm so happy you said that! I read a lot of Tomione/Gin n Tonic and I definitely see him as functional and pretty sane, I don't think the books ever show him as a madman. Psycopathic yes but off his rocker, no. Ooh do you have any recs for me? I love dark fics! As you can probably tell haha. Did you ever read any of my other fics? Oooh let me know how the cake goes! Haha I know everyone seems to love Nando's but I don't think there's actually one near my house so I only ever went for a friend's birthday party. I did enjoy it but it was back in Year 8 (actually the year I first started writing this story) so I don't really remember if it was any good. I had the veggie burger though and I know everyone raves about the chicken, so I'll have to find a Halal Nando's so I can try that. Haha I'm basically your friend in that situation :D Thanks for reviewing! xxx