Chapter Thirty-Two: Between the Dragon and His Wrath

"I still think we should have gone to Andromeda," Lupin said as Lily trailed behind him. He was leading her across the grounds, the last light of the setting sun setting his head aflame. "She isn't part of the Dark Lord's circle, and she isn't part of the Order – I'd be happy to drop you off there before I went to the Manor myself. She could show you how to stay safe, Lily."

Her hand tightened around the wand in her grasp. "I don't want to stay safe," Lily replied curtly. "I'm a Gryffindor for a reason. I'm no coward. Do you truly think I'd remain in hiding with my pregnant sister while the world burns around me?"

Unspoken went the other, darker reason why she would never flee: she could not tolerate being, as Andromeda was, so utterly cut off from the wellspring of their family.

Lupin sighed heavily, but he sounded resigned. "Well then," he said. "To the Manor it is. We'll go to Hogsmeade first, then Disapparate from there. I don't know how Sirius managed to Disapparate from Hogwarts, but it's plainly not an option for us. You did pass your Apparition test last year, didn't you?"

"Of course I did," she said coolly. Her eyes narrowed. "James showed me the route to Hogsmeade. It's through that statue – in the castle. What are we doing out here?"

"Of course James showed you," Lupin muttered. "There's more than one way to Hogsmeade, Lily. This one is closest and will draw the least attention." He picked his way across the gamekeeper Hagrid's pumpkin patch, ever closer to his cottage. She kept a wary eye on it. Truly, it was incredible how much of Hogwarts the Marauders seemed to know; she had thought she knew the castle well enough, with the smattering of secret passageways passed down from her sisters, but this was ridiculous. She had not actually known anything at all.

The memory of her pervasive ignorance made her grit her teeth, and she was almost too late to snag Lupin by the back of his robes as he veered dangerously close to the whipping branches of the Whomping Willow.

"Lupin!" she snapped. "Be more careful! We want to go around this thing, not through it."

He tugged free. "Don't you think it's about time you called me Remus? And actually, we do want to go through it," he said. Under Lily's disbelieving gaze, he picked up a long twig, darted nimbly through the weaving limbs, and jabbed it at some hidden spot low on the trunk. Instantly the tree froze.

Her jaw dropped.

"It leads out to the Shrieking Shack in Hogsmeade," he explained in a low voice, glancing around to make sure that they were entirely alone. They were, of course. It was late evening, and frosty, the sun now nothing more than the faintest of pink streaks on the horizon. He still spoke so quietly that Lily had to strain to hear him. "This is where I spend the night of the full moon, every month. A teacher locks me into the Shack where I transform, and I don't emerge until morning."

"So that's how Sirius managed it," she murmured. She had always wondered how he had transported Lysandra Yaxley's body to the Shrieking Shack that night. Even after she had discovered the existence of the Honeydukes passage, it had seemed too insane even for Sirius to travel all that way with a body on his hands. But if he had a readymade secret entrance directly to the Shack, no wonder he had chosen it.

Stooping, Lily followed Remus – he was right, it was about time she switched to using his first name, as he had done for her at some point without her noticing – through the passage. Together they pushed their way through the soil-laden dust. Though she had cast the Lumos spell and was holding up her wand tip as high as it would go, the faint glow seemed almost to be swallowed up the waiting darkness, so thick and black that her eyes did not adjust no matter how much time passed. It was a relief to emerge into the wooden cabin she had seen many times from the outside in Hogsmeade.

"Right," Remus said briskly, straightening up. "All ready?"

"Yes," she said. Her voice was bleak. Now that the moment for decisive action had come, she felt somehow faint. She had a plan, thought up in the frantic moments between reviving Frank and returning to the greenhouses, but it was a thin and translucent thing, held together by stardust and spiderwebs.

But it was better than nothing. Dumbledore of course would never take her back: he would assume that her departure meant she'd left to join the Dark Lord. He would not be precisely wrong.

Then again, she cared nothing for what he thought. He had not offered the Order to her, had not told her a single thing, had showed more favour to her cousin Sirius of all people than to her. She did not owe him anything, and she was on her own.

Her flagging resolve bolstered, she followed Remus into the field behind the Shack with a new spring in her step.

"The Manor is warded, of course, so we shall have to Apparate to just before the gates," she said.

He nodded. "See you in a moment." Before she could say anything else – a plea to wait, let her think, let her be sure of herself – he turned on his heel and vanished with a soft pop.

Well, that was conclusive. Huddling into her cloak, Lily followed him into the familiar suffocating darkness.

She appeared three feet before the wrought iron gates, gleaming silver in the moonlight. As ever, she had to force herself not to gulp in greedy gasps of the icy night air now that she could breathe properly again. "Remus?" she said croakily. "Are you there?"

"Here," he said from behind her. She whirled around. He looked even more drained than before, but in one piece.

"The Malfoys are your in-laws now, aren't they?" he said. "Do you know how to get in?"

She had forgotten that he had probably never been to Malfoy Manor before. After all, what reason would he have? He had not grown up as part of the English pureblood elite. Though his father Lyall Lupin was a pureblood, and the world's foremost expert on Non-Human Spirituous Apparitions – including Dementors, Boggarts, and poltergeists – the man was a notorious recluse who lived in the furthest reaches of Wales. She recalled the glancing implications her mother had made on the blood status of Lyall's wife at Narcissa's wedding. There were certainly rumours about the Lupin family.

If he knew of them, though, Remus had never given a sign. He looked back at her expectantly. "Well?"

"Yes – sorry," she said belatedly. She tapped the gates with her wand.

The metal contorted into the barest outline of a face, and next to Lily, Remus drew in a breath. She suppressed a smirk at his shocked hiss.

"State your purpose," the gate ordered, its clanging voice rolling through the night.

"Lily Black, Lucius Malfoy's sister-in-law," she said.

The gates swung open.

The two of them walked soundlessly down the long gravel path that led to the sprawling medieval manor house. Like many other of the Sacred Twenty-Eight families, including the House of Black, the Malfoys dated back centuries: Armand Malfoy had arrived in England with the Norman Conquest, and been given land in Wiltshire for services rendered to the Muggle king. Over the next millennium the family had added yet more land and riches to their domain. That they had approached the pinnacle of luxury was abruptly demonstrated when a white figure loomed up at them out of the gloom.

Lily jerked back, already scrabbling for her wand. Remus grabbed her wrist.

"Calm," he said. "It's just a peacock."

Lily exhaled. He was right. The bird eyed them sneeringly, much as a Malfoy might, before wandering off.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm a little on edge."

Her palms were slippery, and her nerves had been stretched almost to breaking point by the corrosive silence. Remus nodded as though he understood.

"Nearly there," he said. Lights were blazing in half of the windows of the manor, and the yellow ambience cast dancing shadows across his face. Lily could only imagine that she looked no less hellish.

They reached the great front door at last, framed by marble columns that towered over them. Lily reached out to rap the dragon's-head doorknocker. Her nervous sweat had dried up; she felt calm, and cold, and as in control as she would ever be. It was time for the first stage of her plan. The Black pendant was in a prominent position under her collarbone.

Unexpectedly, it was Lucius himself who opened the door. Lily had not seen him in the several months since his wedding, and even then only at a distance. Up close, the angles of his face were sharp and pointed, softened only marginally by the palely glinting hair held back in a queue. His dark grey eyes widened in shock as he recognised her.

"Lily?"

"In the flesh," she said politely. "And Remus Lupin, of course."

He stepped aside, looking stunned. "Come in, come in – this is rather a surprise –"

"It came as something of a surprise to us, too," she said, her tone desert-dry as she stepped inside. Instantly she was assailed by a wave of warmth. Her extremities began to tingle painfully as the blood flowed properly to them once more, for she had not bothered to cast a Heating Charm on herself.

They were in a grand entrance hallway, with doors leading to other rooms on either side. A majestic staircase curved away to the upper storeys above. Though the only illumination came from a singe chandelier, it was more than enough light: the candles' flames were blinding off the marble floor, refracted endlessly through the wreaths of crystals that hung from them. Lily's eyes hurt as her pupils contracted abruptly at the sudden deluge of brightness.

Lucius had shaken off his astonishment, his aristocratic features returning to their habitual hauteur. "Cissy will be delighted to see you," he said. "I had better take you to her."

Lily glanced around. "Do you not have house-elves for those tasks?" The last time she had been here, there had been one to open the door as well.

His face tightened. "Not anymore," he said briefly. "Come with me."

She and Remus followed him through one of the doors, into a green-hung sitting room. Narcissa was sitting draped over one of the sofas. Bellatrix was pacing back and forth over the rug in front of her, her hair a wild midnight tangle.

"– Hangleton," she was saying. "We none of us were permitted to –"

She broke off as they entered. "Lily?" she said incredulously.

At that, Narcissa sat up, her own head whipping around. She stared. "What are you doing here?"

"A good eve to the both of you as well," Lily said lightly to cover up her unease. "It's so gratifying that my arrival brings you such pleasure."

Bellatrix made an impatient noise. In two strides, she was at Lily's side, crushing her so tightly to her lean, muscled body that she could barely breathe. She released her just as quickly.

"You were at Hogwarts! Is everything alright? Has someone been bothering you?" Her eyes fell on Remus and thinned to slits. "Who's this?"

"Everything is fine," Lily said soothingly. Now for the first, most difficult test: lying to her sisters. She adopted an expression of eagerness. "I just – I was having thoughts, back there in the castle."

"Oh?" Narcissa had risen as well, and come to stand by them, the silk of her robes rustling. "Do enlighten us." In her tone was mingled suspicion and affection. Though she was five years older than Lily, they were the siblings closest in age, and there had been the most hostility between them growing up. Lily rolled her eyes at her.

"Well, I knew that both of you were here. And then Sirius" – and James, and Marlene, she added silently – "arrived as well, and I thought to myself – what am I doing? Why am I wasting my life, locked away under Dumbledore's care, while out there all of you are fighting and bleeding and winning?" Her words came faster, a flush high on her pale cheeks. "I want to help. I want to be out doing something too."

She had worried about her skill at lying, but her speech had turned out to contain more truth than falsehood. Bellatrix let out an exultant whoop.

"Of course you do!" she said approvingly. "No true Black could ever accept the cage. Lily, this is wonderful – wonderful news. Our parents will be so pleased. This will stop all those tongues! And our lord… I have told him, over and over, that you will be a great asset to our cause. I'm glad you've proved me right."

A choking heat swept over Lily. She swallowed painfully. She was a fraud, a liar, no better than James and Sirius, boys who were on no-one's side but their own. She did not deserve to stand here and have her eldest sister speak of her like this.

"That was an unexpected change of heart," Narcissa commented. Her voice held the faintest edge of mockery. "There were those who thought you would never join us, and Bella had to silence them."

Lily flashed her a smile. "What can I say? My eyes were opened," she said blithely. "Ah – where are my manners? Bella, Cissy, this is Remus Lupin. He's one of Sirius's best friends. Remus, my sisters Bellatrix Lestrange and Narcissa Malfoy."

They looked him over critically. Remus offered a stiff nod.

"Sirius and James Potter will vouch for me," he said.

Bellatrix shrugged carelessly. "Well, then," she said. "Lucius, do go and get the boy to verify his story, won't you?"

Narcissa sighed. "Bella, I've told not to order my husband about in his own house…"

"It's alright, my love," Lucius said, the venom ill-concealed in his voice. "Never let it be said I am not the most gracious of hosts." Ignoring Bellatrix's satisfied smile, he brushed a kiss against Narcissa's mouth and backed out of the room.

Lily had to remind herself to breathe. The boy – was that Sirius or James? No doubt James had not thought to see her again so soon after their duel. She would have to get him back for that, at some point. How dare he win a duel against her… she, who had schemed and planned and plotted it for days… he had taken over her every waking thought. And then he had thought to simply leave her behind, discard her as though he were suddenly tired of their glittering, savage dance.

He would soon learn how wrong he was. Nobody left Lily Black behind.

They waited in tense silence. Narcissa was glaring at Bellatrix, who was ignoring it, though a cruel smile tilted up the corner of her full red lips. She had never gotten along with Lucius. Lily, used to them both, was tapping her foot agitatedly against the floor. She would have to break that nervous habit. Remus was hovering in a corner, his watchful gaze sweeping over the room. From somewhere deeper in the manor Lily could hear the muffled hum of voices. It seemed there were quite a few people currently here.

She wondered if the Dark Lord was one of them.

By the time Lucius returned she had all but forgotten that there were any other boys there but James, and was momentarily discomfited to see her cousin staring at her. That, however, was nothing to his reaction: his mouth fell open, eyebrows shooting upwards, and the colour leached from his already ivory skin.

"Lily?" he said. Disbelief warred with something like horror in his face.

"I seem to be getting that reaction a lot," she said, and smiled unkindly at him. "I take it you didn't expect me to show up? Well, Marlene and I have been accused before of being joined at the hip…"

At Marlene's name, his mask slammed back down over his features, but it was too late. She had already read his face. Her arrival had thrown him off deeply, more than simply the usual surprise at seeing her, and she had no doubt that it was connected to her best friend.

"I knew you missed me, Lily, but I didn't know you missed me enough to come all the way here," he said, with an effort at his old insouciance.

"Oh, you'll acquit me of missing you," she said. "Let's leave that to Remus, shall we?"

He looked past her for the first time. Pleasure lightened his expression. "Moony! You made it!"

"I did," Remus said quietly, moving forward to stand next to Lily. "The moon is getting fuller, though…"

She looked at him sharply. For the first time, she could see him under bright light, and it was not a comfortable sight. His skin was grey and lines of tension bracketed his thin mouth. A thought occurred to her – how would he conceal his condition here?

It seemed he did not plan to. Lucius, who had drifted away to sit by Narcissa, snapped his head in their direction at his words.

"The moon?" he said. "Are you a werewolf, boy?"

Remus looked at him steadily. "Yes."

"I told you not to tell anyone!" Sirius snarled, and Lily could not but agree with him. Remus merely shrugged.

"They would find out eventually," he said. "I have no wish to hurt anyone, and I would, if I ran around as we – as I did back in Hogwarts."

"We would have helped you!" Sirius said impatiently.

"You must go with the Greyback creature, then," Narcissa said. "He is of your kind. Bella, show the boy there –"

"No!" Sirius roared. "Not Greyback!"

Remus had blanched, but he made no demur as Bellatrix led him out of the door, her head tilted thoughtfully. At the entranceway she stopped and turned to look at Lily.

"I shall see you tomorrow morning," she said. "The Dark Lord is away on business, but he will return then, and speak to you. Don't be afraid; I'll be there." With those parting words, she vanished, Remus behind her.

The knowledge that the Dark Lord was not in the house at that very moment made a load lighten off Lily's shoulders. It seemed she would have the opportunity to rest before she set into motion the next stage of her plan.

"I'll be there too," Sirius said abruptly. "As will James, I've no doubt." Bellatrix's promise had sounded like a comfort; his words were undeniably a threat. He shot her a last unreadable look before he too left the room.

"Well, I suppose I'd better show you to a bedroom," Narcissa said. They were alone but for Lucius, and she let Lily see her roll her eyes. "It's a good thing the manor is so big. I had no notion of the sheer number of people we'd be expected to feed and house…"

"Hush, my love," Lucius said warningly.

"Why? The Dark Lord's not here," Lily felt impelled to point out. Her brother-in-law shook his head.

"No, but always think of him as though he is," he said. "That is safest. Remember that."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said.

It was the biggest lie she had said all evening.

AN: The first new chapter I've added to this story in four years! I won't lie, I feel a little emotional. Please do review! It's a lot longer than I was expecting it to be, but I'll do my best to stick to the twice-weekly update schedule. If I do drop down to once a week, I'll try and make up for it with much longer chapters. Does that sound alright to you guys?

Also, as I said, I spent yesterday planning out EVERYTHING that's going to happen in this story, right down to the epilogue. It's something I never did in all the 7 years of its existence and it's a major reason I struggled to update, because I just didn't know what I wanted to happen next. But it's all planned now! One of my favourite things to do is stick to canon but twist it, if that makes sense... well it will make sense to you all in the epilogue lol. I have huge plans for Jily, Sirius, and of course Yaxley!

Guest Review Responses

Nalia, I'm glad you're enjoying! Don't feel bad - tons of people have told me that Sirius has ended up being their favourite character too. He just steals the show somehow :D

B - Yes, Lily's still wearing her Black pendant! I don't think I ever wrote her officially taking it off - at least, I didn't come across any scenes like that while I was editing the draft. Did you enjoy that oneshot I mentioned? xxx

Ellie - I always feel bad that I can't reply to huge chunks of your reviews, because then it would be such spoilers haha. Everything will be revealed in due course! Something that always interests me is exactly how Peter Pettigrew fits into the Marauders' dynamic. He's not in this story much and part of me wishes I'd made him not exist in this AU, but James, Sirius and Remus all have a defined role in canon so I can't believe that they were friends with someone whom they had to constantly save. No I haven't read The Darkness Within! I really like the sound of a dark Harry though so I should. Wow haha I find it so funny that I had Year 7 readers back then! Makes me wonder if I have any now. I looove the smell of lemon so I don't feel too sorry for you, you basically Febreezed your entire downstairs :P hope he enjoyed the cake! xxx