On this day, after almost 400hrs of gameplay, the internet finally collectively completed Pokémon Red/Blue in Twitch Plays Pokémon. This is a very special occasion that warrants an extremely early chapter.

Bring on Pokémon Silver/Gold

No Time for Slaking

The sign in the trainer garden hadn't understated the perilousness of Petalburg Woods. Creatures slithering in and out of the leaves and branches often crossed paths with Max, Daichi and Mari. Mari had fared very well using Charmy to fend off the grass-types but even so, Max's Mudkip still ended up confined to the Pokéball to recover from a poisoning and Daichi's Geodude was still waiting for the juices of the Cheri berry to completely free his limbs from the stiffness of paralysis. The problems they faced by fighting wild Pokémon in this forest left Max and Daichi too frustrated with them to even think about trying to catch them.

Eventually they came to a part of the forest where the road widened out and there was some evidence of tyre tracks in the grass.

"Alright! This must mean we're really close to the exit," Max said.

"Getting there," Mari said, smiling widely. "I recognise this part of the woods. It's already late afternoon but if we follow this road we can get to the end of the woods and it might even still be light."

Daichi let out a loud whoop. "Then let's go!"

He took off running down the road. Max groaned and Mari yelled at him to slow down but they both ended up running after him anyway. However, they didn't get very far. Tearing ahead of the group, Daichi wasn't looking too carefully at where he was putting his feet and he tripped. It was a bad trip too. He went head over heels and face planted in the road.

"Daichi, are you okay?" Max called over to him as he and Mari caught up.

"I'm fine," Daichi replied, standing up. "What the heck did I just trip over?"

He expected it to be a rock or a stick, something that he wouldn't feel bad about kicking into the forest. What he found instead was nothing of the sort. It looked like a sloth with shaggy, brown fur, a wide face and a big, pink, piggy nose. It was just lying still in the middle of the road. Even Daichi tripping over it didn't seem to affect it at all.

"What is this thing doing lying in the middle of the road?!" Daichi screamed.

"Don't know," Mari said, looking down at the creature with genuine curiosity. "These guys don't usually hang out on the ground, wonder what it's doing out of the trees."

"It looks like a sloth but kind of different," Max said. He looked it up in the Pokédex anyway because he realised by now that most if not all creatures they encountered would be indexed in it.

"Slakoth, the slacker Pokémon. It doesn't change its nest its entire life, but it sometimes travels great distances by swimming in rivers. If it eats just three leaves in a day, it is satisfied. Other than that, it sleeps for 20 hours a day."

Just then Slakoth moved, shifting one foot ever so slightly out in front of it.

"Maybe it fell out of the trees?" Mari guessed.

"Whatever happened, since it's a Pokémon I'm going to catch it!" Daichi declared, releasing Lotad. "Use Nature Power!"

Nature Power turned into a flurry of spinning leaf shurikens that cut Slakoth's fur and skin. The sloth-like creature turned to Lotad with a lazy-eyed expression and simply yawned. Lotad also yawned, which caused Mari and Max to yawn, which in turn prompted Daichi to yawn. With a start, Daichi realised that he'd been drawn into a chain of yawns and fumed.

"Hey! Cut it out!" he yelled. "Lotad, use Absorb!"

Lotad snapped awake but his eyelids started to droop again almost immediately. He was still able to fulfil the request, going sparkly and sapping the energy from his target. The only indication Slakoth gave to say that it had been affected was to drop its head on the ground as if it could no longer lift it. Daichi decided that now was the right time to use a Pokéball. Slakoth didn't make an effort to move as it was drawn into the ball. The Pokéball didn't even wiggle before the lock clicked in place.

"That'll teach you to get in my way!"

"How?" Mari asked, seriously questioning Daichi's logic. "Now it's just in your possession. All this means is that you're going to have to train it."

Daichi picked up his new Pokéball and looked at Mari blankly. "Er, well… I'll train it really, really hard, y'know! Plus, this means that I have another Pokémon and you don't, so nyeh!"

He stuck his tongue out at the other two. Max shot him a slightly peeved look and Mari just rolled her eyes.

"I have, like, fifty Pokémon," she said. "Slakoth are super lame, hard to make them do anything. So good luck with that one."

"Hey, you guys!" someone yelled.

They all stopped and turned around to see that person coming from the opposite direction. It was a young boy – younger than Daichi for sure – with brown skin that was peeling, indicating that he spent most of his time outdoors. In one hand he carried a net and in the other, a straw box. He was wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat, which seemed a bit counterintuitive in the darkness of the woods. He stomped up to them with a face screwed up in anger and started shouting:

"So you're the lame-oes who're responsible!"

"Responsible for what?" Mari said, cocking her head to the side quizzically.

"Yeah, like you don't know! Go fix it right now!" the boy fumed, putting his basket down and lifting its lid. Inside were a number of Pokéballs, some of them regular but most of them bore yellow and green or blue net-like designs. He picked up one of the yellow and green Nest balls. "I'll fight you if you don't! Go, Wurmple!"

Max groaned. More of those things. He figured he could deal with this quickly and was about to release Wingull when Daichi suddenly cut him off with:

"You don't scare me! Lotad, let's teach him a lesson—eh?!"

Lotad was fast asleep on the ground. Mari sighed and Max just went ahead with releasing Wingull. He commanded him to use Wing Attack. One swoop and a direct hit from Wingull's shining wings was enough to knock the Wurmple out.

"Ack!" the boy exclaimed. He returned Wurmple. "No matter, I have more Pokémon on me! Go! Wurmple!"

"You have another one?" Max said incredulously. Even so, the exact same strategy worked perfectly, taking out the little bug.

This went on for a few minutes in which three more Wurmple were called out and all of them fell pathetically to Wingull's wings. It eventually got to the point that Wingull had to ground himself for a while because his glider's wings were faring terribly in the still air of the woods. The boy growled and found another Pokéball. This one was older than the others and not as shiny.

"You haven't won yet!"

"Hate to interrupt your really fun battle," Mari deadpanned, "but we've got to get somewhere soon, remember? And kid, if that's your last Pokémon, don't think it's responsible to use it."

"This is my best of the awesome bug Pokémon I have," the boy retorted. "I'll defeat you with it and then you'll have to go and move it."

"Move it?"

The trio looked at each other quizzically.

"Go, Ninka! Use Scratch attack!"

Ninka turned out to be a Nincada. It jumped out and wasted no time executing its attack. Wingull flapped to take off but he was too slow to rise. Ninka knocked him out of the air. Max commanded him to use Water Gun and he hosed down the bug. It took the hit badly but still managed to dig its claws in and stand its ground. It felt around blindly with its feelers, trying to get bearings before the next order.

"Leech Life!"

Ninka lunged and grabbed Wingull with its forelegs. He tried to dodge but his ungainly wings didn't take off fast enough. It bit into him and took on a greenish glow as it gradually sapped the strength from Wingull.

"Shake it off!" Max encouraged. "Use Water Gun again!"

Wingull blasted it at point-blank range. Even the energy it had sapped wasn't enough to keep it fighting fit. With a defeated sigh, the boy returned Ninka.

"Great… need to get my Pokémon to a Pokémon Centre and the safest way out of the forest from here is blocked."

"Blocked?" Mari echoed.

"You said something about having to move something," Max said. "What do you mean by that?"

"You really don't know?" the boy said, genuinely surprised.

"No. Just tell us what it is already," Mari replied exasperatedly. "While you're at it, might as well tell us why you think it's our fault."

"There's a Slaking blocking the road out of here," the boy finally admitted. "Thought it belonged to you."

"A Slack King…?" Max muttered, looking confusedly at Mari. She was fixing the boy with a disappointed glare.

"Slaking? Why would you think that it belonged to us? Could have been wild."

"It's not wild! I'm not an idiot, Slaking don't live in these woods. Not enough space for them. Hardly any wild Slaking for miles on the northern end of Route 104, so what was I supposed to think when one suddenly shows up in the middle of Petalburg Woods? And it wasn't there this morning when I came here, so someone must have put it there. Thought it might have been you guys because you were here catching Slakoth."

"How does Slakoth have anything to do with the Slack King?" Max asked. He was trying to picture what kind of Pokémon it could be but all that came to mind were comical caricatures of obese royalty. "Is that really its name?"

"Are you stupid? Slaking is Slakoth's final evolution. And if you had a Slaking then it would make sense that you would want to have more of the same and would try to catch a Slakoth."

"Why would you want more of the same Pokémon?" Max said, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Some people have reasons," Mari answered. "But this could be bad for us too. Slaking is blocking the way and we need to get to the flower shop ASAP."

"Right," Max nodded. "We should go. Even if it wasn't our fault, we'll help move it. What's your name, kid?"

"Lyle," the boy replied bluntly. "Thanks for helping even though I think I was kind of being a jerk."

"Hey!" Daichi interrupted, holding up his Lotad, which was still dead to the world. "What about my Lotad? He won't wake up and if we have to fight that Slack King won't we need all of our Pokémon in action?"

Mari sighed. "Okay, fine. Take a first aid break and then we'll tackle that Slaking."

"So, how do we wake him up?" Daichi wondered, slapping Lotad in the face. It had no effect.

"Would be more efficient if you just used awakening but we should use up the berries first," Mari said, digging her hand into Daichi's bag despite his protests and taking out a Chesto berry. "Break the cone off while holding it under Lotad's face and when he comes to, put one of the pieces in his mouth."

Daichi followed the instructions properly and Lotad opened his eyes blearily, wondering what that strong odour was. Then the bottom half of the berry was shoved into his mouth. In his dozy state he chewed on it absentmindedly. That was a huge mistake. However, to his trainer, his lively licking and head shaking looked like a success.

"Wow! These berries really do work! I wonder what it tastes like," Daichi said, popping the cone into his mouth and crushing it between his teeth. A powerful minty taste unlike anything Daichi had ever tasted exploded onto his tongue and the dryness of the flavour felt like it was sucking the moisture out of his mouth, leaving it feeling like he'd woken up after sleeping with his mouth open. "Blegh! That's awful!"

"Stop fooling around, Daichi," Mari chastised. She, Max and Lyle were already making their way down the road. "Not a moment to spare. Gather up your Lotad and get a wiggle on."

It was almost an hour's trek down the road before they came across the Slaking. All of Max's preconceptions immediately flew out the window – it did not look anything like royalty, rather it was just a big, brown, pig-nosed gorilla. They could immediately see what the problem was. It was lying across the road, blocking it completely and snoring very loudly.

"Huh… that's not what I thought it would be," Daichi remarked, taking out his Pokédex to look it up.

"Slaking, the lazy Pokémon. It is the world's laziest Pokémon. It eats grass and fruit growing within its reach. If it eats everything it can reach, this Pokémon reluctantly moves to another spot. However, it can exert horrifying power by releasing pent-up energy all at once."

"That's what Slakoth turns into?!" Daichi said, unable to decide if the information was cool or lame.

"Tried giving it a Chesto berry," Lyle explained, "but it just ate it in its sleep. Don't have any flutes that might wake it either."

"This is bad," Mari muttered. "This road is the only way out of the woods so we have to move it somehow."

Max hummed thoughtfully before suggesting: "Hey, if it's so dead to the world that even the berry won't wake it, then maybe we could just, y'know, climb over it?"

Mari and Lyle gawked at him like he had just grown an extra head.

"What if it wakes up while we're in the middle of climbing it?" Lyle asked.

"Isn't it worth a shot?"

Mari and Lyle looked at each other unsurely. In the end they tentatively agreed, only because they couldn't see any other solution. They sent Daichi over first, giving him a leg-up to crawl over the Slaking's soft belly, followed by Lyle. As Daichi was about to roll down the other side, the Slaking shifted. Lyle instantly turned to check on its status and gulped. A disgruntled expression glared back at him with piercing eyes. On impulse, he screamed. The Slaking slowly and reluctantly lifted its body, sending Daichi sliding down the other side and Lyle tumbling back down the way he came. With a throaty growl it slowly sat up and turned towards Mari, Lyle and Max. The boys instantly froze up. Max had nothing but doubts in his mind about the chances Mudkip and Wingull had against a creature that size. However, Mari pushed both boys aside and whipped out a Pokéball that was black with large, green spots and an orange ring around it.

"Get back! It's attacking!" she exclaimed, releasing her Pokémon. "Missy, take it down!"

The Pokémon she called out could be described (in the briefest of terms) as the ghost of a witch. Its eerie yellow and red eyes gleamed from under the brim of a raggedy witch's hat and its body looked like flowing, dark robes. It shrieked like a banshee when it appeared. The Slaking widened its eyes and shot a huge laser beam from each eye that burned with yellow, red and orange. The trainers all leaped to the side of the path as the beam hit the road between them and left a deep gash in the ground. A tree it hit had a hole blown clean through the trunk and roots. Yet, remarkably, the beam just phased through Missy's body as if it wasn't there. Missy huffed indignantly and looked to her trainer for permission to strike back.

"Payback!" Mari commanded.

Missy gathered her energy in the form of purple orbs and swooped at the Slaking. She phased right through but the orbs hit like small bombs. The Slaking roared and stumbled into the trees on the side of the road. It left a small gap on the other side that a person could easily run through. Max noticed it and yelled out:

"Run for it!"

He led the way, followed closely by Lyle. Mari tailed them, keeping half an eye on the two Pokémon. The Slaking reached over and blocked her path with its hand, despite breathing hard from the exertion of using its previous attack. Mari ordered Missy to use a move called Spite and she glowed white. If one was observing closely they would have seen a similar white sheen appear over Slaking. Missy began to suck in the air with a chilling vocal sound effect, absorbing the white from Slaking.

"Mari's trapped! We need to help her," Daichi said, picking out a Pokéball.

"She seems to be handling this well on her own," Max noted as Missy fired a barrage of glowing gems at Slaking. "Besides, what could our little Pokémon do against that great, big gorilla?"

"Gorilla?" Lyle echoed quizzically.

Daichi was about to let his Geodude out but another flash of light erupted from his pocket and took the shape of the Slakoth he just caught. He gaped at it in disbelief, firstly that it had let itself out of its Pokéball and secondly because it had the gall to think it could possibly handle this situation. The gems on Missy's body began to glow in preparation for another strike but it looked like Slaking was ready to launch some other attack against her. Mari warned her Pokémon to be careful but was cut off midway by what sounded like applause. If Max and Daichi were surprised by Slakoth before they were now completely floored. Slakoth had raised its arms above its head was clapping away merrily like the whole battle was an excellent show.

"Are you dumb?!" Daichi screamed at it. "Don't cheer it on, we're trying to defeat it!"

"Maybe you should just let go back into the wild," Max suggested, looking at it doubtfully. "Mari was right, it's kind of lame."

However, at that point Mari was already slightly changing her opinion of that particular Slakoth. The boys eventually noticed why. Slaking had turned to Slakoth's interruption and was staring at its hands as if in a trance. As Slakoth clapped there was a little white ball between its fingers that hypnotised Slaking and made it think there was a spotlight on it and clouds of confetti descending from the treetops. It blushed bashfully but decided a repeat performance was in order. It roared and its eyes emitted a bright yellow-orange glow.

"Daichi! You'd better return that thing!" Max wailed, backing up several steps. "I don't know what it did but it didn't help."

Daichi fumbled around in his pockets trying to find Slakoth's Pokéball in a rush but it seemed that it was too late and Slaking was ready to fire its deadly laser beam. However, when it tried the power just fizzled out. It stumbled forward and leaned on its knuckles to catch its breath. Mari laughed triumphantly and directed Missy to put the finishing touch on the battle with Dazzling Gleam. The ghostly Pokémon flashed brilliantly in front of Slaking and stabbed it with a flying array of magic daggers. Mari shielded her eyes against the bright light as she took the opportunity to dash past the Slaking. It lay back, too lazy to move after taking damage. The trainers returned their Pokémon and made a run for it now that they were all safely on the other side.

"Thank Arceus for Slakoth!" Mari giggled as the four of them raced down the road before Slaking decided it was ready to start attacking again.

"I don't get what happened," Daichi said, pouting a little.

"Slakoth knows Encore!" Mari explained, grinning widely. "A great move if you use it cleverly, it forces the opponent to keep using the same move over and over for a little while. So Slaking tried to use Hyper Beam again but Spite is a move that diminishes a Pokémon's ability to use its moves and attacks. In any case, gave us time to get away before it figured out what to do next."

"What's with that Slaking? It's not even running after us," Max said.

"Didn't you hear the 'dex?" Mari replied. "It's super lazy. Just use this time to put as much distance between it and us."

They charged down the road, running on an adrenalin high. When they got far away enough that the Slaking wouldn't bother to follow they even had a good laugh about it and continued on their way. By now they had forgotten about the Slaking's mysterious origins but maybe they would find out eventually.

A/N: As a regular length chapter, I was meant to sit on this until next week but watching the internet flail its way through their very own, very first fully collective Pokémon journey has lifted my spirits to such immense heights that I dared to say YOLO unironically and not save prewritten chapters for a week when I had no update to give.

It also kind of reminded me, you guys should throw ideas at me, even if they're things you didn't really think about. Like I keep saying, most of the time there are prewritten chapters so if you want something to happen soon tell me now and if it's feasible to write it into the story I totally will. There's definitely a pre-designed plot that I've already worked out to the end but everything else is arbitrary and subject to change. But if you're asking me to make them catch specific Pokémon, just be aware that there is a rationale going on behind the region in my headcanon so your suggestions may not be feasible.

You also may have noticed that I kind of did that title change I said I was going to do a few chapters back.

So REVIEW! I don't care if it's the randomest thought that pops into your head, tell me and I will probably make it happen. (I have the sinking feeling that I could live to regret this.)