Song 1 - No Light, No Light - Florence and the Machine
In that moment, Korra felt the rush of a thousand heartbreaks. She'd imagined her coming out story going so many different ways. While true it was quite impossible to succinctly predict the set of circumstances that led to her being outed via newspaper, the aftermath was always something she had intended to prepare for. She imagined the arguments and the antiquated ideas her parents would pose to her, and for the most part she had counter-arguments for all of them. She knew they were kind and loving people, but they were also the result of a proud culture that was reticent to change.
In the face of it, there was only one rebuttal that mattered, and to Korra, it made the most sense.
"I love her,"
It had been the first time she'd ever admitted it aloud to another person. Much had changed since she last lay awake at night, muttering it in secret in the dark.
Asami loved her back, Asami left her husband for her, Asami had taken a bullet for her. The lonely person she'd been before could never fathom such things ever becoming true.
In all her anxious preparation, she had never expected such a non-answer. As infuriating as it was devastating. When her mother hung up, Korra's world went silent.
She'd harboured hope that in their butting of ideas she could make them come around, she's imagined the conversation a thousand times in her head, loud and long and ardent because they cared so much. They might even be happy for her if she could just find the combination of words.
Perhaps they'd see the way she loved Asami and it would all make sense.
When the line was cut, that dream was now untethered and adrift in pieces around her.
It was a full five minutes of staring without seeing, until she realised what her eyes were honing in on; Asami behind the door ajar, fumbling with her shirt buttons, huffing her hair out of her eyes so she could concentrate on the numb extremities failing on completing a simple twisting motion.
Korra jumped to help her without much thought on how she looked. Wordlessly she steadied Asami's hands, parting her shirt one clasp at a time without looking up from her gentle ministrations. Even though Asami had been braless to avoid aggravating her bullet wound, in her languor and pain Korra hardly noticed the expanse of beautiful bare skin even as she undressed her. She had just reached her navel when Asami's hands cupped her cheeks, stirring her from her stupor, tenderly kissing the tears that had escaped her, thumb grazing the stream.
She'd spied the sorry forming on Asami's lips and instinctively Korra turned her head to catch them, selfishly taking comfort, while giving a little herself. Kissing her soft and sweet, like nothing is wrong, despite the tears printing over to her cheeks.
It all felt so strange, but this was the new normal; salacious chaos, mixed with heart wrenching intimacy. She felt the latter as Asami pulled away, forehead pressed against her own, jade eyes inspecting her face.
"Who was that?" Asami asked in a tone so soft, Korra's body had no reason to react the way it did.
Heart pounding from zero to sixty, the truth tangled on her tongue, breaths shaking in an echo chamber of her own emotion. She could see the squirm of uncertainty in Asami's gaze, and tugged her into her arms, a tight cocoon in which she could fight her panic. Asami's fingers combed through her hair and she could hear her cooing and hushing, unaware that every kindness seemed to incapacitate Korra further.
"Sit down," Asami crooned, already guiding her to perch on the bed, finding Korra ever pliant beneath her hands. She wanted to ask what was going on, but she already knew the answer was a lot. Her best friend had always been stoic, strong, and capable of incredible things, but she also knew that after everything, every once in a while; there came a breaking point.
"I've got you," Asami told her, "right here we're okay,"
Korra let out a despairing laugh, and finally caught her voice.
"I'm sorry, I'm just…"
"Overwhelmed?" Asami found the word she was looking for, and Korra nodded, her ears cupped by palms, grounding and soothing. "If you weren't I'd be worried,"
Korra's sobs devolved into laughter, as she sat off kilter, hands clutching Asami's elbows.
"It was my mom," Korra found her voice, small and hoarse.
"Is she okay?"
Korra had half an idea in her head, and as she was putting it together. Knowing for certain that she couldn't tell Asami the truth, partially because she could scarcely believe it herself, mostly she wanted a chance to make it better before she unleashed the torrent of pain she kept at bay. The papers and her outing came hand in hand now, and if Korra's parents disowned her because of the scandal, Asami would surely blame herself. She'd slipped into the third stage of grief; anger and it spurred what happened next.
"She's sick," the lie tasted bitter in her mouth, "she's okay, but she-,"
"We'll go, I'll come with you,"
"You can't," Korra balked, tightening her grip on Asami's arms. Of course this was the reaction Asami would have. Already she hated herself. "I can't hide the way I am if I'm with you,"
"You haven't come out to them yet, have you?"
"I've never felt ready,"
"One thing at a time," Korra knew she was perfect the moment she said it, yet it twisted the knife in her gut knowing she wasn't deserving.
"I can stay, you need me here," Korra backtracked for but a moment, lost in the idea she could hide from the world with Asami in the life and home she'd built. That they could be quarantined from the nonsense of the press and the pain of her parents and never get bored with it.
"Don't, I'll be fine," Asami cradled her neck. "I have Opal and Mako and Bolin, you should go,"
"It takes 12 hours on the ferry, stay a day, return at night, I can be back in less than 48 hours," What she had to say wouldn't take long, but her very being was desperate to say it.
"Korra, your family is important,"
"Exactly you are important," Korra informed her without missing a beat, gaze earnest and steady. Asami was moved to her core by it, the notion that all she'd lost had returned in the form of the single beautiful person before her. She bit her lip as it shook, her own eyes shining with unshed tears as she gratefully cradled her cheek.
"What do you think they'll say? When they know?" she hesitated to ask, knowing the answer from Korra's expression alone. The solemn, bitter, twist of her lips and those expressive dark brows drawn together.
"I don't think they'll like it," she choked through her closing throat.
Asami's heart wrenched for her, deep memories of disapproving parents came to the fore. Punishing and vile, she'd never wish such pain on her worst enemy, and yet the person she loved most might go through it all the same. She wanted to be there for her, holding her hand, there to protect her at a moments notice, but she could tell from the resolve in Korra's eyes now was not the time; she intended to go solo whether she was telling them or not.
Her brave and stubborn Korra, her girlfriend, her one. She would go home, care for her mother, all the while carrying the weight of the secret after all these years, never daring to put it on anyone else.
"You're better than all of us," she told her, and based on the way Korra's expression dropped it was the absolute last thing she expected to hear.
"You just saved my life!"
"No Korra, that was you," she felt a welt of pride bubble in her chest, watching her full and even smile return before she tacked on, "it was always you,"
The last time Korra had slept, swaddled beneath Asami in the hospital, she had been so emotionally, physically and spiritually exhausted that it had been like switching off a light. Her body and mind shutting off only to be roused by Asami hours later, though to Korra the time had passed in an instant.
Tonight her brain had the energy to rile, and warp. It seemed to play her stream of consciousness backwards, in such a way that could only make sense in the vestiges of a nightmare.
Her life and future passed before her eyes in an instant, only Asami was missing and no-one would tell her where she'd gone.
The faces of her friends, Opal, Mako, Bolin, morose, twisted and dark, silent sentinels watching her panic as she begged and searched her memories. Asami's wedding morphed and twisted into her funeral, an open casket at the altar she couldn't even get close to. Iroh's wall of muscle was barring Korra from seeing her. It can't be true. It can't, she lived!
It allowed her to witness Asami's shooting, as visceral and terrifying as it had been in real life. The thud of her body colliding with her chest, firm and alive, until she wasn't.
Reality gave way to hopelessness, Asami wouldn't wake. Cold in her arms, her blood pooling wide and flooding the gravel where Korra knelt cradling her limp and lifeless. The ambulance wouldn't take her; she was gone, there was no point in trying. Korra tried to scream; Her eyes are moving why won't you help? Iroh stalked his way out of the the garage, toting the gun once again, aiming at Asami's head to finish an already finished job.
No no please. Please don't. Not again.
Korra couldn't move, she couldn't speak, as once again the General blew them away.
The cry she'd given ripped through her as she woke, already Asami's hands cupping her jaw. Her cool hands were a welcome reprieve on her searing, feverish skin. Korra couldn't trust what she was seeing, trembling vigorously, and heaving her breaths she braced herself for the next awful thing. Asami was speaking, how could she miss that?
"-Korra look at me, I'm right here,"
"Is this real?" Korra gasped, throwing her gaze around. This was her room, had it always looked like this? The only difference was the woman in her bed, shaking her gently.
"Look into my eyes," Asami croaked, weak and weeping. "Please,"
Korra did as she was told, lost in the green, feeling her gaze reach into her and calm her from the inside out.
Asami knew without asking what she had seen. She lay awake that night knowing that she would see the same, roles reversed.
She could spend hours watching Korra sleep, and rather than witness the worst in her own dreams, she was content to watch her lips pouting, her brows shift through her expressions and the moonlight singing on her skin. At least until ASMR of her breathing and shuffling in the sheets escalated into short huffs and piercing cries. Squirming, slake with sweat, face contorting as she lowered her chin lowered into her chest, retreating in on herself.
"You're okay, you're here now," Asami hushed, just as affected by Korra's pain.
Korra had never shrieked the way she had then, never writhed with the fear of it, never been so utterly trapped by it that waking was impossible. Watching Korra suffer like this was Asami's nightmare. She stroked her shoulders and neck, smoothing the coiled muscles until they eased.
"Can I?" Korra wrestled with her throat, hovering her hand over an arm, aware that if she touched her blind, she could hurt her. In response Asami snatched her hands and positioned her limbs around her, one braced on the dip of her spine, the other wedged beneath her ribs. If the movement hurt her she didn't make a sound. Korra curled around her, burying her face into her neck. Asami held onto her with all her strength, one side significantly weaker than the other.
Asami absorbed her shuddering form against the sobs, Korra couldn't help it, she was reduced by what her brain had conjured.
"I can't go, I can't leave,"
"Shh," Asami hushed her, palm rubbing hard warm circles over her pounding heart, comforting and grounding. "Not tonight," she kissed her forehead, her temple, cradling her face.
"I'm sorry, I woke you up,"
"I wasn't sleeping."
"Why not?"
"I didn't want to dream about you getting shot," Asami laughed breathlessly, combing her fingers through her hair. Every touch now met against Korra's sweat, slick on her skin, drenched through her clothes. "You're soaked."
Asami didn't pull away at the revelation, but Korra did.
"Sorry,"
"You must feel awful,"
Korra couldn't summon a meaningful retort, her eyes only dropped to where she knew Asami's wound was.
"We're not doing this," Asami whispered, "being frightened,"
Korra felt her tugging, and dutifully she followed. Curious, but ultimately calm. Whatever Asami had planned would be just the thing they needed, she was sure of it. Their love had changed some over the last few weeks, but the trust was just the same.
She walked her into the bathroom, plugging the tub, and turning on the water. From her perch on the rim she looked up at Korra, watching her in return. Confidence waning she scooped her hair behind both ears, Korra reacted without thinking, tracing the side of her face with the backs of her fingers. Asami hooked her own on the hem of Korra's pyjama pants, tugging down.
Korra obeyed her intention, pulling her shirt over her head. Before she'd even lowered her arms, Asami's hands were braced on her hips, pressing a playful kiss to her stomach, but getting carried away, mouthing tender kisses on the expanse of her stomach and the litany of scars there. She was too distracted praying at the altar of Korra's abs, tasting and tracing the sweat and shape with her tongue, to notice her own shirt being pulled up.
She found her feet, swept up in the intimacy of being undressed by her, and the kisses that came with it. Korra's sweat slicked skin had a flavour to it that she couldn't deny herself, but when their mouths meet softly, slow in the tilt of their heads knowing they can take their time. She can study every scar with her fingertips and tug at the short hair and wispy tendrils at the nape of Korra's neck.
"Korra," she sighs into Korra's mouth, for love of saying her name in that breathy cadence, and the way Korra's knees buckle in response. Her tongue flutters between her lips, dancing over the roof of her mouth and Asami's breath hitches.
It feels special, like they've been waiting for this, like it's been earned, and they can take long a glorious moment to enjoy bliss.
Korra's hand frames the jut of her jaw, as her lips sweep the crux of the other side, adoring her with the gentle swipe of her tongue, eyes closed, lost in the scent and sensations of pressing hot open-mouthed kisses unblemished skin.
Asami's head fell back with a sweet gentle moan, and Korra palmed her shorts past her hips from her ass, squeezing slightly, still suckling.
"The water-" Korra noticed after opening her eyes a sliver. Asami dove back, nearly tripping with her shorts binding her knees. Korra caught her waist and from there, Asami could turn the taps off in a fumble before the pool filled above the brim.
"Wow," Korra smiled down at her, smug. Helping her to her feet.
"What?"
"You really just blush everywhere, huh?" that only seemed to make the rouge tint on her shoulders chest and cheeks shine brighter as Asami bit her lip.
"Shut up and get in," she admonished taking her shoulders and waltzing her to step in. She watched as Korra reclined comfortably in the tub, steam rising from the surface of her naked body, her blue eyes piercing through the light fog. Asami couldn't help but admire the jut of her collar bones glinting in the lamplight, or the beautiful 'V' that ended in a patch of inviting dark hair, framed by those particularly biteable hip bones.
"What are you waiting for?"
Asami blinked, caught outright ogling her.
"I've never done this before," she felt so juvenile saying it, this was her idea, but she hadn't thought beyond washing the harrowing terror off of their bodies. The logistics were lost on her, the tub seemed small and frankly she was reluctant to tear herself away from the angle she was now seeing her from.
Korra's lips tugged into that full smile, with those dimples that Asami wanted to kiss and cradle and frame. She turned her palm up for Asami to take.
"Here," Korra offered, knowing better than to voice her own petty thought, Iroh never got this
Gingerly Asami stepped in between her legs, feeling at once too tall and infinitesimal. Korra's steady hands guided her down, until she could snuggle into her chest and feel the weight of her exhaustion swathe over her.
She took but a moment to feel the impeccable way their bodies aligned almost immediately, and in the next stole another to feigned discomfort to twist and nuzzle beneath her chin, lips just happening to brush her throat, to brace her hands on her perfect shoulders, to let their legs tangle and bend with each other in the meniscus. She settled on her side; hip cradled between Korra's thighs, letting her fingers wander over the curve of her clavicle, so close and utterly mesmerising. Korra smirked through it all, marvelling at the beauty of her girlfriend's newfound physicality.
Tepid water lapped at their skin, soothing and gentle. Korra's hands smoothed trickles along Asami's arm and chest and she keened as she sank into the embrace. Ear pressed against her beating heart. She swore she could detect a skip. Her own chest was filled by it.
The act was so simple, passive, naked and vulnerable, and in the wake of all that had happened it was illogical to let their guard down at such a time. Yet in the moment Asami was nestled in the safety they'd built together, and in the quiet and in the calm; it had her honesty pouring out of her.
"After your accident, I had a lot of those dreams," She spoke softly, still tracing her collar bone with a feather of her fingertip, "In theory you were safe, but at night I saw the worst, you didn't…I couldn't… and I would wake up alone not knowing if you were okay,"
"Is that why you stayed over? To know?"
"And to take care of you. On a regular day you bump into five things, you were on crutches and sedatives, there's no way I was leaving you to your own devices,"
Korra chuckled.
"I'm glad you were there for me,"
"Still am," Asami insisted squeezing her ribs pointedly.
Korra kissed her forehead gratefully, pushing tomorrow as far as she could from her mind. She was in a happy place, she was desperate to lose herself to it, to memorise the way Asami's fingers drew patterns over her feverish skin, the smell of her head before its lost to soaking and soap, and the weight of her in her grasp, telling her that this was all real.
"Hey,"
Korra doesn't say anything, only closing her eyes to let the sensations build around her.
"You okay up there?" Asami asked, her voice soft and quiet, her own movements pausing.
It's no good, Korra doesn't know how to hide her feelings anymore, Asami had completed the puzzle and now she could read her perfectly.
"I'm-"
Despite knowing this she doesn't know what to say. There's something about her code that makes it physically impossible to upset her.
"Korra," Asami tips her head up to look at her.
"Yeah," not the right word, and certainly not enough to describe what she's feeling. Asami was always kind of devastating to her, in one way or another, now she had her, she was desperate to keep her. Watching her now her brain short circuits, she's in the bath with Asami, her eyes darkening as they drop to that perfect pink nipple pressed against her skin as she turns her body into her. She struggles with the fact that she'd sucked and bitten and stroked them more than once, and that they were plaint against her now.
Asami's brow furrows, her eyes troubled and concerned. Before she can press the issue, Korra slides her hand to her jaw, thumb stroking the soft pad beneath her ear, dragging Asami gently into a slow languishing kiss, that has Asami staring hungrily at her lips when they part a minute later.
"This is nice," Korra answers simply.
"Yeah it is," Asami agrees in a breath, pupils wide, breath coming out in shudders as she leans up and fuses their mouths once again. Kissing her senseless as she shifts above her, sure to never let a breath come between their parted lips. Hands cradling Korra's jaw now as she finds her balance straddling her lap with their thighs interlocking. Where she's emerged from the water her skin glistens, as does her neck with sweat, her fingers are in Korra's hair and as she rises higher Korra thinks it might be a mistake, until her teeth tug gently on her earlobe, and her lips drag over the crest of her cheek.
Hovering her mouth above hers, breaths mingling. Every caress of Korra's hands had her twitching, down her arms, over her belly, softly, slowly, teasing with gentle scrapes of her fingernails against her flesh. Asami is dying to have her mark her, to be hers in such a primal possessed way, but her lips dance lightly along the column of her throat, as if Korra's afraid she might break.
"Please, Kay," she murmurs.
It's daunting to have her pet name used in such a setting, and even more so as Asami takes her wrist and guides it between her legs, prone above the water, slick with juices of Asami's own making. It makes Korra's already pounding heart race into a higher gear so that she can feel the echo of it in her shoulder blades and ribs. It speaks to all they've been through just to get here, and despite the pain, she'd never trade it for anything. Not when she can be her best friend, and her lover all at once.
"Go easy," Korra admonishes, her lips dancing over nipple as she speaks, other hand cupping and squeezing it into place in her mouth. The suckle of her tongue and skilled mouth has Asami's eyes rolling back, the hands that was skating underneath Korra's slippery tit now braced on her shoulder to keep from falling. Korra's fingertips tease the edge of her folds, already pulsing, hot, silken slick aching to take her in.
For one reckless second Asami loses herself to it, rutting her hips once to slide those fingers into place only Korra stops her.
"I need you to be careful," her voice is a husk of vulnerability and worry, but her eyes dark and commanding when Asami looks into them. It's then she notices the pang of her shoulder, visible in the way her hand tremors its grip on the join of Korra's neck and shoulder muscle. Asami nods, using the other hand to counter the balance, knees set, forehead prone over Korra's, as her fingers finally part her and rub circles on the nub of her clit.
"Oh," she gasps and squeezes her hands, eyes closed, missing the way Korra smiles at her as she watches pleasure replace pain. Her talented digits increase pressure and Asami bears down on the need to buck with them, remaining as still as she can, only increasing the intense coiling heat in her abdomen. Korra braces her other hand over her chest, stopping at a spot most unexpected; her heart, absorbing the thumps beneath her palm.
"I love you," it's feels an age since she's said it, bowing forward and guiding Korra's mouth beneath hers in hungry, hot and desperate kisses before she can even respond. She can't bring herself to break the kiss, but as pleasure zips through her from between the apex of her legs, she knows she's desperate for more, for fullness. With her weaker hand she covers Korra's still working, and gently nudges her down, playing at her entrance, a suggestion, while her own curious fingertips map the way Korra's tendons and knuckles work as they fuck her.
In the same moment, Asami rocks a little as Korra sinks two fingers inside her, honing in on that front wall as she fed her her tongue. Asami's moan into her mouth was guttural, and her nails score deep on Korra's back as she grips it, but Korra's hand on her hip keeps her from cantering.
Pulling away, Asami sees her best friends eyes filled with playful lust, it steals her breath all over again.
"Stay still," her voice was low, and hushed, but in the same moment, Asami was submissive to her every whim and will. "Here," Korra draws her into place; so her lips could touch the soft expanse of skin beneath her jaw, "bite,"
She did as she was told, gentle at first, as those fingers work, and she was lost to the sensation pulsing through her, biting down harder and harder. It's not enough to muffle her whines, but they're alone, given the circumstance the least she can do is be loud.
"More?" Korra offered and Asami keened in assent, tightening her grip.
Korra added a third finger, stretching her, causing her to whimper into Korra's throat. Her shoulder sears, but she doesn't dare say anything, lips pressing and pointed tongue seeking Korra's noises. Victory is in Korra's moan as Asami slips her knee into place beneath the water, ignoring the slight slosh and splashes over the edge as she encouraged her to grind against her.
"Another," Korra almost stops at the request, a high pitched moan against her throat before Asami balanced her forehead into her clavicle to keep herself still and breathe.
Asami can't help but lurch a little, her mouth drops open silent at the four fingers burrowed into her, the filthy sounds they make as they fill her, in and out, hard, rhythmic, controlled and juxtaposed with Korra's thumb swiping, almost fluttering side to side over her clit until she's trembling and aching in the most perfect way.
She succumbs, and her back seizes, her body stiffens, pressing her thigh into Korra's centre as she arches back, breath shattering, fist tangled in chestnut hair as she writhes with the wave of her orgasm. When she falls against her, the sensuous position of her nipples pressed against her own with her heaving breaths, coupled with those fingers, still gently fucking her sending her over an edge she wasn't even aware she was near. She's putty, and trembling, and melded to her front like she'll never stand again and Korra's fingers are lazy and deep and it's all it takes to shake a third orgasm out of her best friend.
"Let me fuck you," Asami utters, delirious with pleasure, sucking in a sharp, hot breath and releasing a drawn out moan before Korra can even process.
When she opens her eyes, Korra's are half lidded, staring at her with that gaze she knows is only for her Asami.
"Your turn," she urges again, taking Korra's wrist and pulling her out of her, marvelling at the sensation of those fingers slipping from inside, and the way she pulses, already missing them.
"Maybe when your arm is stronger,"
"What about my mouth?"
"Can you breathe underwater? Because you couldn't before your surgery,"
Asami scoffs, petulant, reaching between them bold and brash before wincing.
"Ow," she freezes, it's the wrong thing to say. Korra's expression shifts, but allows Asami to lay on her chest, cheeks howling red for a different reason. She feigns catching her breath, tucking her nose into her collar and letting her lips pressing lingering kisses, languishing in the body beneath her, trying to hold on to the sensations and exquisite breathless encounter they were having seconds ago.
"You're bleeding," beneath the bandage where it oozed through and had begun to dribble with the moisture, Korra swiped cautiously at it and urged her to sit with a guiding hand.
Asami turned her face from her, hiding her mortified expression.
"I'm sorry-"
"Don't," Asami seethed, "Don't you dare," she added, softer now, turning her shy gaze up at Korra's face to assure her, "I loved that,"
Luckily the first aid kit was within Korra's reach, and she copied the method the nurses had showed her before they'd left the hospital that day. Asami turned her back fully, hugging her knees as Korra worked the old bandage away, salving, cleaning, re-covering with precision and care. Running her finger over the perimeter of the mesh white square with something of a proud flourish.
They'd had this conversation, albeit under the influence of painkillers and intense emotional duress. Korra would do this for her, Korra was happy to do this for her, in a way it was a form of cosmic payback for all the care Asami had given her the last time one of them had almost died.
Asami knew that on the surface it made sense, still, she couldn't help shrinking at the idea of Korra cleaning up the culmination of her greatest mistakes; the ugly little wound on her otherwise perfect shoulder. Every pang of searing pain it gave her was a reminder that she got what she deserved, and every soft caring ministration Korra gave it was a reminder of what she didn't.
She'd cheated, she'd been caught. Korra had loved her for all these years, and she had missed it. She supposed in some way that had been punishment enough, but it was nothing compared to the way Korra had suffered, alone and unrequited.
She pressed her cheek onto the curve of her knee until she could feel the bones smushed together as her thoughts riled. A thumb sweeping the curve her spine, precise, tender, and all the tension and all the vehemence of her thoughts just melted away.
Korra knew exactly what she was doing, stroking soft patterns over the expanse of her skin, kissing intermittently watching her shoulder blades part and ease beneath her touch. Asami's whole body followed the sway of it.
Korra's lips pressed on the nape of her neck when she was finished, her left hand came around to soothe her wrist.
"You're still wearing the ring," Asami noted, her voice neutral as she thumbed the band.
"So are you," Korra whispered, watching her profile as she eyed her over her shoulder, biting her lip, smirking. "Pass the soap,"
"So, before she was shot - you knew, and you knew, and neither of you thought to tell me?" for a six foot two body builder, Bolin had a mean set of puppy dog eyes, feeling affronted and excluded he, Opal and Mako were parked outside of Korra's fire house. He'd insisted on confronting them before going up.
"Look coming out is complicated," Mako reasoned from the back seat.
"As was the situation with Iroh clearly, Korra and Asami, well they didn't mean for this to happen,"
"But you both knew?"
"I figured it out after he accused me of having sex with Asami,"
"And I figured it out when I walked in on Korra…having sex with Asami,"
"When?!" Bolin shrieked, and though Mako was in the know he was still surprised by it.
For a moment Opal considered the negatives of telling her side, still she'd been dying to tell Bo, and everything was in the open more or less. If she knew her boyfriend, he wouldn't stop making that ridiculous twitching face until she told him the rest.
"You remember how they were fighting, and they were still fighting when they went to spread Hiroshi's ashes out of town? And when they returned and had the gym fight - and I went back they were still quote 'really laying into each other?'"
"Oh my God," Bolin balked.
"Now replace the word 'fighting' with 'fucking' and this is my understanding of what was actually happening,"
"Wait," Bolin smacked his own cheeks, and his head on the steering wheel, shaking his head as the veil of those events lifted in his mind. When he found it to still be incomprehensible, he got out of the car briefly, took a deep breath, and sat back down half in half out.
"What did they say?" Mako pressed, going over the events in his head and trying to establish a timeline.
"I didn't stop them I just left, and honestly I'd forgotten the image of Asami getting railed into the gym mats until now so Bo, thank you for making us do this."
"You doing okay buddy?"
"How do we feel about this? As friends," he looked small twisting his fingers, "They lied to us, and Iroh, I mean he's a bad guy but cheating,"
"Clearly something was off in that marriage if he could shoot her," Opal pointed out.
"Korra said they were trying to come clean. Love can be messy sometimes, and it can change things between people in ways we don't expect." Mako defended.
Bolin spared a glance to the fire house, and back down at the front pages of the tabloids and matching photos on the dash board. Specifically their faces, Asami alongside Iroh, she looked passive, and miserable, but on Korra's doorstep he saw the joy in her eye, the small portion that could be seen from the vantage point of the photographer. Korra was in full view, in all the years he'd known her he knew without a shadow of a doubt that was the only time he'd seen her give that complete smile.
"Why don't we ask them?"
"We'll see Bo," Opal rubbed his shoulder, "The important thing now is we look after Asami and keep her away from the news."
The three of them exit the car in silence, Mako subtly nodding at his fellow officers stationed in their undercover-wagons on the curb side.
By the time they've climbed the flight to Korra's apartment, Bolin's stomach is already responding to the delicious smells coming from inside. He doesn't bother knocking which Opal admonishes him for, given her last experience walking in on the couple it wasn't out of place. Still they were invited, and the scene they walked in on was a domestic one. One that Bolin had never expected from two of his angsty best friends (not including his angsty brooding brother of course).
They were just hugging, Asami propped against Korra leaning against the counter. From the look of it, it looked like it had been going on for a while. Asami's fingers mussing with the back of Korra's hair softly, her eyes closed and her ear pressed against the cable knitted material of Korra's sweater; just the right amount of rough and soft to merit the need to rub her cheek against it intermittently. Who was taking comfort, and who was giving it was unclear, but it looked as though it didn't matter as they held on, both selfish and selfless, gentle as Bolin had ever seen them, at least not out in the open like this.
A rock formed in his stomach when he spied the bruises, fading, but present, on Asami's wrist and cheek, under Korra's eyes, a dark mark beneath her jaw. The reality of what had happened to them written on their skin.
At the sound of the door, Asami's eyes cracked open hazily, and when they made to part it wasn't the spring apart we've been caught their friends had been expecting. They were utterly comfortable being themselves finally, and as a result, they could never go back to being skittish and hiding it.
"Hey guys," Asami smiled at them, but it almost looked like a wince as she wrestled with the notion that they knew. This was her coming out. Her heart was pounding as she realised it, but her panic ceased in her chest, as Korra laced her fingers between her own and squeezed them.
"The pancakes need flipping," she chided her gently.
"Oh God, not again," Asami scooped her hair behind both ears and got back to work.
"I don't believe it," Mako uttered.
"I told you she could cook," Korra shot back, and Asami could only blush as she tried not to mess it up.
"One dish is not cooking,"
"For Asami it is!" Bolin defended happily, leaping to his assigned seat at the kitchen island, eyes widening and glistening as he picked up the place card with his name on. "This is adorable," he squee'd quietly, momentarily forgetting the awful.
"We had a lot of time to worry about this," Asami explained, flipping cakes carefully, but sparing a glance to read his expression as he stared at her searchingly.
"The place cards and food are all you," Korra rubbed the small of her back before turning to the glasses on the counter and filling them.
Their eyes were bouncing, and they felt every bit like an exhibition at the zoo as their friends watched, loaded with the knowledge that they were in love, and shouldn't have been.
Opal tried not to stare, and encouraged the boys out of their coats to give them something to do while breakfast was being plated.
Asami served, quick and anxious, five plates of pancakes and bacon and eggs at a frightening speed. They sat at the stools, feeling every bit as awkward as they looked and seeing them this way, Asami broke.
"I know what I did was wrong," she spared a glance at Korra, who wrapped her hand around hers again, tight and comforting, "all of it, before Iroh- I understand if you think of me differently now. I didn't think I was capable of cheating," Korra winced at the word, but Asami pressed on, "I also didn't think I was capable of loving someone as much I love Korra,"
The faces of her friends were soft now, listening intently, even Bolin whose weakness was laid out on a plate in front of him.
"I married Iroh because all I had was what I was supposed to do, and after, nothing felt right…except," she could only squeeze Korra's hand as a continuance, "I was numb, before, and empty, I locked it all away because my mom died and I had been punished-" the last word fell out of her as though she'd been punched in the throat, as though Hiroshi were clenching her wind pipe and telling her not to speak ever again. Korra's hand in hers eased the pain, just enough to push through, "I had been punished for loving Korra before, when we were children,"
This was new information to all three of her friends, her remaining pseudo family. She hadn't realised she was weeping until tears dropped into the syrup pool on her plate, and she swiped still looking down at them.
"And Iroh he, we weren't right for each other, as soon as I knew I tried to end it…but he was capable-"
Bolin cut her off with a simple motion, reaching across the table, standing on the ladder of his stool to take her hand and steel her.
There was no around to Korra's kitchen island, at least not on that side, that attached to the wall and phone, so he climbed, instinctively, strangely agile for a man of his size, crumpling Asami into his chest in a bear hug as soon as his sneakers touched her side of the linoleum.
There was a moment she was stunned by it, red and jade eyes wide and peering over his shoulder, before her fingers dug into his jacket and folded it into her her palms and she stuffed her face in the warm safety of his shoulder.
"You two really love each other?" he asked.
"Yeah, Bo," it was such a relief to say it, that it came out in a breathy chuckle.
"Good," he let her go, "Then I don't have to give you both the if you hurt her, big brother talk,"
"I'm older than you!" Asami chided, rubbing her tear stained cheek with the heel of her palm, while gazing and laughing fondly at him.
"And don't you forget it!" he exulted, laughing, weeping just enough.
"Your food's getting cold," Asami sniffled, before glancing at her other two friends, who looked like their hearts had grown three sizes at the show of affection Bolin had given.
Bolin climbed back over the table top and Korra muttered.
"There's an easier way to do that." she poked at her food with her fork while murmuring something about shoe prints, and suddenly she felt attention turning to her. They wanted her side.
"I knew what I was doing," she looked up, and tried not to be smug about it, but she couldn't help the sense of pride knowing how far they'd made it, "I mean at first I tried to fight it, you know, issues of morality, you're married, you've never wanted me this way that I wanted you, it was a whole thing," she tried to be light about it, but the derisive look Opal was giving her had her softening, "thank you by the way," she offered, and Opal gave a smirk.
"I couldn't let myself believe it, for a split second I felt bad for Iroh, but mostly if it was true and you could love me this way, how much time have I wasted not being with you?" she turned to Asami, and smiled at her wistfully, her thumb tracing arches over the back of her hand, "Even before I knew the why and how of what happened to you, and how you felt, when you kissed me for the first time…I knew I should have been braver, sooner," driven by the words she lifted the hand Asami held and kissed her knuckles, the surprised sigh Asami gave was only perceptible to her ears then, "I should have taken more risks, and been riskier, and so from then on I was. Perhaps we should have done it differently but in the moment, I was hooked, completely."
Her brows drew inward, lips thinning as she struggled with the final part, tearing her gaze away from their hands to her eyes.
"How can you deny your soul when it meets its mark?" she blinked and a tear fell too, but she hadn't time to dwell on it before Asami jumped forward, cupping her cheek and was kissing her soft and true and as chaste as she could manage.
It was then the trio was reminded by the glint of silver on Asami's hand, no longer gold.
"You two are married now?" Mako pressed, a little sarcastic and accidentally abrasive.
"No," Asami shook her head blushing, clearing her throat, "it was just so the hospital would let us see each other, I had some rings on me and last time…I wanted to make sure she could visit me and if anything happened to me…well Iroh is technically my only family but since he put me there…"
"So you're confessing to a felony too?" he joked, to which Korra responded.
"Why? You a cop? You've never mentioned it a thousand times?"
They shared a laugh and finally it was easy. The friends ate, and Opal was ever curious about their trip away, conscious of hiding what she already knew. Korra's warning looks being the only sharpness in the room that when the subject was changed it became easy breezy again.
"You're not going together?" Mako questioned, when the subject of Korra leaving to visit her mother was brought up. Opal knew as much, when Korra had called asking them over, she'd become something of a confidant and accomplice in Korra's deceptions.
"My folks don't know I'm gay, I'd rather they didn't find out I was in love with my best friend this way,"
"Are you going to bring protection?" Mako interjected.
"If you're asking to be my chaperone - no, I don't want them to think we're back together that's all I need."
"Korra,"
"It's a dinky little trip, with security at the ports up the wazoo, I'll be fine, Mako really, the Mayors house has protection."
She may have been exaggerating a bit, but she didn't want to show up to her hometown, outed, with stormtroopers. She could see the headlines in the Water Tribe Tribune now - Knock knock? Who's there? The Gay Agenda.
"I'll have my guys escort you to the ports at least," Mako pressed, and Korra nodded in assent. Much had changed since they were dating, namely they were now both capable of compromising.
"I have a favour to ask," Korra pressed, "Asami's wound is kind of in a hard place and it needs changing,"
"I can let it breathe," she protested.
"And it might get infected," Korra admonished calmly, her eyes sweet and difficult for her to say no to, especially as her palm squeezed her thigh.
"I'll do one," Bolin offered.
"As will I," Opal added.
"Sure, yeah I'll help."
Korra smiled at her friends warmly and back at her girlfriend who felt every bit like a scorned child.
"Three options."
Asami's preferred option was staying with Korra and weathering the storm at the Southern Water Tribe, but they'd discussed this already. She could give Korra this, and nodded.
As Korra explained what she'd learned from the nurses, Bolin made notes in a notepad. When the conversation moved on to other things he was distracted by Asami's recipes and doodles and the little heart with K + A. His next fascination was Korra's sketchbook he'd been leaning on.
While Asami had made placeholders, Korra had sketched to keep calm, innocuous memories of hands tangled in the sheets, Asami's smile in the pillow. He started to flip the page and caught a glimpse of her racier sketches before she snapped the book shut in his palms.
Both were blushing, and Korra desperately tried to change the subject before the rest of them noticed Bolin had just seen Asami's nude form.
"H'okay! I think it's about time for me to go," she placed the book beside Asami's knees on the table before bowing over her to kiss her forehead, and cheeks and eyelids and lips firm and chaste. "This isn't goodbye, I'll be back so soon,"
"You better be," Asami grips her shirt and tugs her in for another achingly chaste kiss. "I love you," she feels indulgent, so she tacks on "so much," and watches how it delights her in response.
"I love you too," Korra's whole face lights up as she says it, unbeknownst to her friends who are watching her smile so wide.
"I'll wait with you outside," Opal offered. Mako was already on the phone calling for an escort. Bolin sat beside Asami with a mind to comfort her, but his eyes drew back to the book on the coffee table.
"You saw me naked didn't you?" Asami scrunched her nose up while patting his arm.
"She's really talented!" he said a little too loudly.
"Yeah, she is," Asami caught her gaze then and Korra smirked at her before stepping out.
Opal followed her to the curb, luckily Korra was already packed from her almost-trip a few days ago, before Asami had professed her love.
"Okay you're not going to acknowledge it so I'm just going to say it - I think you're making a mistake,"
Korra inexplicably felt her lips curling up into a smile. She couldn't help it, it was rare she let herself feel the care that others inflicted upon her, it was happening more and more these days, and she was becoming grateful for it.
"This isn't her fight," she kicked the pavement and gravel chips at her toes, "I should've done this a long time ago." when she looked at her she lifted the veil of sadness she'd been keeping back, "my mother knows now, and I think-" she heaved a breath, in through her nose, out through an 'o' in her lips, "I think they hate me for it,"
"So you're going it alone? Whats the point? They know - Bring her - she would want to be there for you,"
"I can't let my parents put her through what her father did to her, not again,"
"What do you mean?"
"If they react badly, or I should say even worse…she's suffered enough…there's still hope I can talk some sense into them in person and turn it around but if I can't…Asami has already been disowned by a family, I won't make her go through it through me,"
The car pulled up, an officer offering to take her bag and nodding up at Mako at the window, their other friends there too, watching. Korra gave a wave too.
"Just take a minute to think-" Opal protested.
"Opal I can't - I have to get ahead of this,"
"Korra-"
"I'm going to miss the boat,"
It feels like hours, but it could only have been minutes truly, when Opal returns to the apartment, and Asami feels just how wrong it is to be there without Korra,
"Okay," Opal claps her hands together, banishing the dip in atmosphere, "is it too early to find out what she's like in bed?"
"Absolutely not,"
"Absolutely yes,"
Asami and Mako answer respectively. Opal felt mischievous watching the older brother squirm, and Asami blush but smile. She'd never seen her smile quite so much.
"Hands up those of us who haven't dated Korra?"
Opal's hand is the only one to rise.
"Are you kidding me Bolin?"
"It was one date!"
"He bought her flowers." Mako teased, finally glad to have a one up on his brother.
The hours ticked by a little faster after Bolin broke out a board game from Korra's bookshelf, and Asami crushed them individually at first, and then as a team when beating her alone seemed impossible.
Opal changed the first bandage after a while, alone just girls in the bathroom, Asami clung onto her fingers when she got the chance, wanting to thank her for oh so much, but not being able to muster the words.
"Did Korra mention that I saw you two? Before?"
"No when?"
"In the gym, after practice,"
Asami whipped her head around so fast she almost gave herself a crick, covering her horrified expression with both hands.
"Relax, boss, it's just sex," Opal tried to play it down, but her embarrassment showed in the pink over the tips of her ears.
"I swear I'm not like this, but I guess with Korra I kind of am,"
"That good huh?"
"You have no idea," Asami huffed, turning away so she could finish dressing her wound, it was somehow easier to speak this way, "She notices me, what I want before I even know I want it and need it and she's relentless in the best way and…this is too much information,"
"Well you know Korra, she had a lot of practice,"
"You knew?"
"I was kind of the keeper of her secrets, well, the big one, how she felt about you," Opal squared off the bandage the way that Korra showed her; with a thumb and a flourish.
"I'm sorry you had that burden," Asami fiddled with the buttons of her shirt.
"I was happy to help her, honestly, but we didn't know you could love her back,"
Asami fell silent at that, imagining the conversations she wasn't privy to, how Korra loved her, and it was pertinent that Asami should never know.
"Did you want me to?"
"We wanted you to be happy, whatever that meant…seeing you now, I think you are finally," Opal rubbed her arm and Asami turned, "You are happy with her right?"
"Absolutely," Asami looked her in the eye when she said it.
They rejoined the boys going over their Pai Sho strategies on the carpet.
It turned out her friends were the perfect distraction, all Asami had to do was sit back and listen to them fill the air with levity. Until a knock at the door cut it like a knife. Mako went to answer.
He spoke in hushed tones with the officer in question, and was handed a file, he sounded excited, yet tense, something had happened, Asami could feel it in the down on the back of her neck.
When the officer left, Mako could only look down at the file before gazing over to Asami, his face warring with personal conflict. Eventually he knelt back where he had been sitting by the Pai Sho table, but turned his body to hand the file to her.
"They've got him," his eye twitched, though this was joyous news, something tainted it, "he'll only speak to you,"
Song 2 - The Reason - Hoobastank