5
The next morning, Blaine's bedroom was a blur of color and fabric as he searched for the perfect outfit to wear to the coffee shop. After trying on practically every item he owned, he ended up back in the first outfit he'd picked: dark, fitted jeans, a striped T-shirt and a red maroon cardigan over top. He tried not to think about the fact that Sebastian had once told him he loved that sweater on him.
Blaine had hoped that he'd just be able to tip-toe out of his house unnoticed so he wouldn't have to explain to anyone where he was going. He didn't know how his parents would react if he had to tell them he was going on a date… Well, he knew how his dad would react —badly, very badly—and that was enough to make him want to avoid the whole ordeal.
So, when 11:30 came around, he slipped as silently as he could out of his room and downstairs, narrowly avoiding his dad in his office at the bottom of the stairs. He padded quickly through the kitchen and picked his keys off their designated hook by the garage door. With his hand on the door handle, he thought he'd made it home-free. But then he heard his mother's soft, inquisitive cough behind him and he froze.
"And where are you off to all dressed up on this fine Sunday morning?" Maria Anderson's musical voice chimed.
Blaine turned around slowly, the height of his eyebrows betraying his nerves at being caught. "Umm, church?" he tried.
Mrs. Anderson narrowed her eyes at her son. "Oh, so then pigs have started to fly, have they?"
He gulped. "Yes?"
His mother just smiled and crossed her arms. "Want to try that answer again?"
He dropped the phony grin. "I'm just going to Joehouse to meet a friend."
She raised an eyebrow at her son. "Oh? Would this friend be the same one you were talking to on the phone last night?"
Blaine's eyes bugged. "Oh, um, you heard that?"
She nodded, a knowing smile growing on her face. "Your bedroom door is very thin, Blaine."
Blaine scoffed. "Eavesdropper."
Mrs. Anderson just shrugged. "You're my son. I think I'm allowed eavesdropping privileges every once in a while. You'll understand when Ollie's old enough to have secrets."
"But Mom…"
"Relax, Sweetheart. I didn't hear anything. Just noticed that you were talking for quite a while."
Blaine dropped his eyes to the floor and shifted his weight between his feet, squirming under his mother's knowing gaze. He knew she probably didn't mean to sound accusing, but he couldn't help but feel somehow guilty. He'd never talked on the phone with a guy who wasn't Sebastian or just a close friend for longer than five minutes in his life. Was it okay to start now? Blaine had no idea where his mom would stand on him becoming romantically involved with anyone new. Maybe if he could just explain that Kurt wasn't just some teenage predator out to impregnate her youngest child again…
"Yeah, well he called me to say thanks for introducing him to the Warblers after the party and then we just started talking and he's just so easy to talk to…"
"Blaine, baby," his mother cut in.
He looked back up at her.
She took a step toward him. "It's okay. You don't have to explain."
"I don't?"
She put her hand on his shoulder lovingly. "No. I'm not clueless. I think I can tell when my son is infatuated."
Blaine nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed by this point.
"And today at Joehouse is a date?"
Another nod.
Mrs. Anderson smiled sweetly, rubbing her son's shoulder. "Okay, Sweetheart. Have fun." She retracted her hand and turned back toward the kitchen.
Blaine's eyebrows immediately furrowed in confusion. "Wait, what?"
She turned back to face him again. "Have fun on your date," she repeated.
"I…you… I'm allowed to go?" he asked, totally perplexed by his mother's nonchalance.
Her knowing smile was firmly back in place. "Blaine, you're practically an adult. You're a father, for godsake. You can make these decisions for yourself. You don't need your mommy dictating your dates, do you?"
"Well, no, but I just thought… because Dad wants me with Sebastian…"
"Hey, remember that time I risked life and limb to talk your dad out of making you get married?"
"Yes," Blaine replied solemnly.
"Did I do that for nothing? Would you like to go through with that plan? Because we still have the planner's number and about 200 engagement announcements printed up in a box somewhere. We could get them out and call the Smythes up right now…"
"No," Blaine interjected, getting the point. "No, Mom. You didn't do it for nothing."
She smirked. "Then go have fun on your date."
A small smile finally crept onto Blaine's face. No one understood him like his mother. "Thanks, Mom." He approached her and planted a kiss on her cheek. "You're the best."
"I know. And just make sure you're back by the time Sebastian gets here with Ollie."
He cringed slightly at the reminder of having to deal with his ex later. "I will." He turned for the garage door again, but she grabbed his arm gently.
"And be careful, love. You have more than just yourself to look out for."
"I know, Mom. I will be. I promise." He slipped out the door.
Although his mother's approval had instilled a new sense of assurance in Blaine and he was feeling calm and collected when he left the house, by the time he pulled into the parking lot at Joehouse, he had somehow managed to completely disintegrate into a mess of self-doubts and sweaty palms. He suddenly had no idea what he was doing there. Why on earth did he think it was okay for him, Blaine Teenage-Dad Anderson, to be meeting a cute, interesting guy for coffee? Even worse, make that a cute, interesting guy that he'd straight lied to two days before.
It was just made all the worse by the knowledge that this date would be perfect. How could it not be? He and Kurt obviously got along incredibly easily and every time they talked it made hours seem like minutes. He knew he would have to tell Kurt about Ollie today. There would just be no getting around it any more. And that was what was making him dread walking through the door of the coffee shop. All he could do was hope, with every fiber of his being, that Kurt wouldn't cause too big a scene when he ran away screaming.
As he watched the snow fall and gather on his windshield, he ran his fingers lightly over the engraving on the back of his grandfather's pocket watch. He looked down at the little golden device and flipped it over, reading over the single word inscribed there once more.
Courage.
Blaine still remembered vividly the day his grandfather had given him the pocket watch. It had been the July right before Ollie was born when the old man was on his deathbed in the guest suite of their house. Blaine had been reading to his grandfather all morning, balancing the copy of The Hobbit gingerly on top of his swollen, eight-months-pregnant belly. When his grandpa suddenly told him to stop reading, Blaine had looked up to find the man staring back at him, looking pensive.
Carter Mauricio Dimaguiba always looked pensive. His austere, impenetrable face never betrayed an inkling of what the man was thinking. His whole life, Blaine had never once been able to tell what could possibly be going through that man's mind. He didn't know what his grandfather thought when his parents told him he way gay, he didn't know what he thought when he said he wanted to teach music, and he was absolutely clueless as to what the meditative old man thought of him now that he'd gone and gotten himself knocked-up. He assumed he didn't like it much, though. His grandfather had not said one word to Blaine about it since he'd come to live with them that April. And now that his health had deteriorated so far, Blaine didn't think he ever would.
So he was shocked when the tired old man gently called him over to the bed, reached under his pillow, and handed Blaine the gold watch.
"Courage?" Blaine had asked, raising an eyebrow at the fresh inscription on the old watch
His grandfather only nodded, but his stone face seemed to soften just slightly. "Blaine," said in his tired voice. "I know it won't be easy for you." He raised a wrinkled hand and placed it gingerly on the swell of Blaine's belly. "But have courage, my boy. This baby will need you to."
Blaine stared back his mother's father. "Grandpa…" he began, suddenly overwhelmed by the unexpected gift and encouragement.
"The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances," his grandfather said, his wrinkled, wise eyes meeting Blaine's youthful, inquisitive ones. "Aristotle," he clarified.
Blaine only smiled in response, tears welling up as he watched a similar smile curl up on the old man's face. "I'll try."
"I know you will. And I know you'll be an excellent father, Blaine."
Now holding back a full-on sob, Blaine couldn't stop himself from leaning down and hugging the frail old man, as best as his cumbersome belly would allow.
"Thank you, Grandpa. I'll make you proud. I promise. I love you."
His grandfather patted Blaine's shoulder as he hugged him. "I love you too, my boy," he whispered into his ear.
That was the first and last time Carter Dimaguiba told Blaine he loved him. He died the next day in his sleep.
Now, still watching the snow pile on his windshield, Blaine pushed the memory from his mind and returned the watch to his pocket.
Well, shit. This is going to be a total disaster, Blaine thought as he exited his car and walked through the falling snow toward the building.
Kurt was nowhere to be found in the mildly busy coffee shop when Blaine entered. After waiting at an empty table for two minutes, Blaine very nearly decided to get up and leave. It would be better for everyone involved if he just left this poor guy alone. He could just walk out the door, stand Kurt up and have him hate him forever, and then he'd never have to expose the other boy to all his drama.
Blaine very nearly made a move to stand up and leave, but froze when the bell on the front door jingled and suddenly there he was. And then, just like it had been on Friday night, Blaine knew he wasn't going anywhere.
Kurt was dressed in an expensive-looking fitted black pea coat with a knitted blue hat and matching scarf. As soon as walked through the glass doorway, he immediately set about wiping his wet boots on the rug and shaking the snowflakes off his coat. He removed the hat to reveal his somehow still perfectly sculpted chestnut brown hair and began to scan the shop for Blaine.
Kurt's face lit up into an amazingly bright smile when he spotted him and walked toward him.
Blaine gulped as soon as Kurt's blue eyes landed on him. Even from across the room, he could see how much Kurt's blue scarf made his eyes pop. When the graceful teen started to make his way over to him, Blaine's brain finally kicked back into gear and he realized he should probably do something other than sit there and gawk.
He got to his feet right as Kurt approached the table.
"Hi, Blaine," Kurt said with enthusiasm that matched his grin. He opened his arms invitingly, and Blaine, after standing in a daze for second, caught on and slid into them for an unexpected 'hello' hug.
Blaine's mind reeled as he took in that amazing Kurt smell once again. Goosebumps flared all over his body when he felt Kurt's hand rub gently down his back.
"Hey," he replied simply, that being the only coherent word he could muster right then.
They parted and Kurt's eyes swept over the shorter boy. "I love your hair today," he commented, returning his gaze to Blaine's face. "It looks different with less gel in it. So curly!"
Blaine could feel his cheeks burning already. "Oh, geez. Yeah, it's pretty out of control if I don't gel it at least a little."
"Oh, no. I bet it's cute," he answered sweetly. Then he set about unbuttoning his coat.
"Um, did you have any trouble finding the place?" Blaine asked, trying to sound less flustered than he felt.
"No, not at all," Kurt said in a friendly tone as he unfastened his last button. "Wes actually told me about the shortcut through the alley, so it was no problem."
Blaine smirked. "That sounds like Wes, always trying to be helpful."
Kurt chuckled. "Yeah, and David told me to tell you something about Operation R-B-B-B still being in effect?" he said with an intrigued eyebrow raised. "Any idea what that means?"
Blaine immediately felt himself blush as he fought to keep the look of horror off his face. Damn his smartass friends and their stupid code names. "None whatsoever," he said hurriedly, trying to gloss over the topic. He would have words with David later.
By now Kurt had shrugged his coat off his shoulders and set it over the back of the chair opposite Blaine's.
"Coffee?" Blaine asked in what he hoped was a chipper tone; although he feared it sounded a bit more like a nervous squeak.
"Yeah," Kurt said with a nod and both boys headed toward the line in front of the counter, leaving their coats to save their table.
There was moment of uneasy silence as they stood at the back of the line and stared up at the menu board. As Blaine wiped his still sweaty palms discreetly on his jeans, he racked his brain for something to say. He finally came up with:
"I'm really glad you could make it today."
Kurt smiled in response. "Me too. I'm glad you asked me."
"Of course," Blaine said, not sure how to continue. He redirected his eyes back to the menu board, even thought he already knew exactly what he wanted to order.
"Uh, how was your morning?" he tried. It wasn't the smoothest of questions, but at least it might spark a conversation.
"It was really good actually," Kurt replied with surprising enthusiasm. "Wes and David and Jeff all came knocking on my door bright and early and dragged me off to play Rock Band and eat Eggo toaster waffles with them in the Commons."
Blaine laughed. That sounded like the kind of absurd plan his friends would cook up for a Sunday morning.
"But I suspect the invitation was just a ploy so they could hear me sing," Kurt continued.
Blaine exaggerated a scoff. "So they got to hear you sing before I did?"
Kurt shrugged innocently. "I'm afraid so."
"Those sneaky bastards."
Kurt let out a laugh at that. "I don't know about sneaky. They were being pretty obvious. I mean, not letting me play any other part but the singer for four songs straight was a bit of a giveaway."
Blaine chuckled again and was about to respond when the barista's voice interjected.
"Can I help you?"
Blaine stepped up to the register. "Yes, I'll have medium drip and whatever he's having is on me," he said, gesturing toward Kurt.
Kurt took on a slightly horrified expression. "No, Blaine, please. I should pay."
"Nonsense," he replied, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.
"But you've already been so nice and helpful, I want to be able to pay you back…"
"Kurt, don't be silly. Your agreeing to meet me for coffee today is enough. Now, I invited you out, so I'll pay. I insist."
Kurt's expression softened and the two melted into a mini-staring contest with dopey grins, causing the barista to have to clear her throat in order to snap them out of it.
"All right, if you insist," said Kurt, stepping up to the register.
"I do," Blaine confirmed.
"Then I'll have a grande non-fat mocha, please. With no whip and a stick of cinnamon."
"And one of those chocolate muffins to share, please," Blaine added over his shoulder, causing Kurt to glare at him playfully.
"You trying to fatten me up, Anderson?"
Blaine took this an opportunity to let his eyes sweep over Kurt's body, admiring just how skinny his black skinny jeans were and finding it hard to believe that there would be anything hiding under Kurt's loose-fitting, wide-necked sweater for him to be self-conscious about.
"I'm afraid I have to insist about the muffin too. Trust me, you won't be sorry," he told Kurt, who just sighed overdramatically and conceded.
Truth be told, the Joehouse chocolate muffins were pretty much Blaine's weakness. When he was pregnant, he had a phase where he craved them with Doritos. He would mash the muffin to bits and then scoop it up with the chips, much to the horror of his friends and family. Now he could do without the Doritos addition, but he just hadn't been able to get off the muffins ever since. Getting to share one with Kurt would just be a plus.
"Nine seventy-five," the barista said.
Blaine paid and got his change, and the turned back around to face Kurt. He could have sworn he saw the taller teen's eyes dart away from his backside, but that could have just been his imagination.
But as the two returned to their table, drinks and muffin in hand, Blaine was sure he saw Kurt looking him up and down some more through the corner of his eye.
"I love your cardigan," Kurt finally commented. "Maroon is a great color for you."
The flirt-induced warmth bubbled up once again. Blaine made a mental note that he really had to thank Grandma Anderson for this sweater.
"Thank you," he said as they took their seats at the table. "It's one of my favorites but I don't get many occasions to wear it."
Kurt grinned. "Well I'm glad I could accommodate your fashion choice."
Blaine laughed. "Me too."
Of course, the conversation flowed easily from there. Blaine felt like his attempts at flirting were being well received and that Kurt seemed comfortable too. He was just as interesting, effortlessly funny, and easy-going as always. And he was winning Blaine over more and more with each passing second.
It wasn't until the muffin was completely gone and they were halfway through their first refills that the conversation started to tread on dangerous ground.
Blaine didn't know how it happened. It was like the shock of the question must have somehow zapped his last two minutes of memory, and Blaine had no idea how the conversation had somehow turned to that point. But regardless of how the topic came up, there he sat, trying to fight off the obvious look of panic on his face at Kurt's question.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked, clearly concerned. "Blaine, did you hear what I asked?"
Blaine blinked hard and tried to snap himself out of his horrified daze. "Um, I- I'm sorry. What did you say?" he said, hoping he'd just heard Kurt wrong.
"I asked if you think you'd ever want to have kids someday."
Nope. He hadn't misheard. Blaine felt his eyes widen, and he tried to suppress the growing panic rising up in his chest. Although he knew he would obviously have to let the I-Have-a-Baby cat out of the bag soon, he still didn't think he could get the words past his lips just yet.
Not yet. Just see how it goes and maybe a good time will present itself, Blaine told himself, even though he knew there would never really be a more convenient opportunity to drop a bomb like that.
"I uh, kids?" he blathered.
"Yeah. I mean…" A look of realization came over Kurt's face. "Oh, god! I didn't mean like, with me or anything… Just like, in general. I'm sorry. I didn't even think about how that sounded."
Blaine let out a nervous laugh. "It's okay…yeah. I mean, maybe in the future, yeah. Like way in the future," he replied, mentally kicking himself for not stepping up and just saying it already.
Kurt tilted his head inquisitively. "How far in the future are we talking?"
Blaine swallowed hard. He couldn't really believe Kurt was asking him this on a first date. Not to mention that the thought of having any more kids was literally the farthest thing from his mind in the entire universe. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe like late thirties?"
Kurt's eyes widened at that. "Really? That long?"
"Yeah, well, it's hard to have kids young, you know? You have to give up so much and your life is just never the same after. It changes absolutely everything," Blaine replied, knowing Kurt had no idea just how much emphasis he meant in the word everything.
Kurt just smiled and shook his head. "I want kids while I'm still young," he said, sounding completely confident. "My parents had me when they were both just nineteen."
"Really?" Blaine asked, genuinely intrigued.
Kurt nodded his head in reply.
Blaine's mind was immediately abuzz with what kind of possibilities this opened up. If Kurt had come from teenage parents, then he was obviously no stranger to the concept. And all this talk about wanting to be a young parent? Maybe he wouldn't be as freaked out by Oliver as Blaine had initially suspected any other teenager to be.
"And to this day, my dad says he wouldn't change that fact for anything. And I loved growing up with parents closer to my own age. You're just closer generation-wise so it's always easy to talk and I don't know, my dad just gets me, you know? I want to be able to be like that with my kids too."
Blaine nodded, feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the amount of unsolicited insights he was getting into Kurt's views on parenting. "Umm," he began, feeling nervous about his next question's implications, even though Kurt would still be unaware of the full significance. "Exactly how soon do you want kids?"
With no hesitation, Kurt answered, "Like, as soon I'm settled down I want to get the process going. Whatever that process ends up being." He paused and laughed.
Blaine raised his eyebrows even farther.
"Sometimes I wish I was a carrier. So I could just have my own, you know?"
At that statement, something snapped inside Blaine. "Don't say that," he retorted.
Kurt's expression melted at the harsh remark. "Why not?"
"Because male pregnancy isn't all it's cracked up to be. Just because a man is a carrier doesn't necessarily mean his body is ideal for having children. It's a really grueling, really painful process and it's nothing to take lightly."
Kurt looked taken aback. His eyes were blown wider than ever and his mouth hung agape. "Oh, right. Of course," he began, obviously jolted, "I didn't mean to insinuate it would be easy or anything, I was just talking, really. There are a lot of men who give birth and everything's just fine. I just… I just think the idea is so beautiful, you know? Having a life grow inside you like that?"
Kurt shot Blaine an optimistic look, clearly hoping that he'd salvaged his infringement on the obviously delicate subject.
And then Blaine wanted to kick himself for sounding so damn insensitive. Of course Kurt was right. The idea of conceiving and carrying one's own child was a truly beautiful, miraculous thing and Blaine didn't regret doing it with Ollie for a moment. He wasn't even completely averse to doing it again someday, but he would be definitely be lying if he said it was a totally pleasant experience. It was painful in more ways than one. His body didn't support the extra weight around his middle as well as a woman's would, which made him prone to awful back spasms throughout his final trimester. Then there was the development of the birth canal, which sent near constant flashes of pain through his pelvis for months. And then there was the actual birth, for which his slim hips were painfully (literally, painfully) ill-equipped. No, being a carrier certainly was not all it was cracked up to be.
But Kurt didn't know that. Nor did he need to hear it from Blaine right now. Right now, Blaine needed to calm down and breathe; to remember he was on a date with an amazing guy and stop acting like a jerk.
"You're right. It really is an awesome thing. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I've just… heard it's really painful." Blaine wanted to face-palm for the unexpected lie that had just tumbled out of his mouth.
God, Anderson, what the hell is the matter with you? he silently scolded.
"That's okay," Kurt said kindly, optimistic smile not fading. "Sorry to bring it up. I know it's a weird first-date topic. I didn't realize until I'd already said it. Let's change the subject, huh?"
Blaine nodded his agreement, immeasurably grateful that they were moving the subject away from parenthood. He was sure he would have enough of that to discuss later.
"So then," Kurt asked, leaning forward over the table, "what do you do all day?"
"What do you mean?"
"I've just never really known anyone who's homeschooled before. You said you have a tutor a couple times a week, but what do you do the rest of the time? I think I'd go crazy if I just had to stay home every day."
"I do a couple of different things," Blaine began vaguely, his mind scrambling for suitable things to say that didn't include childcare but that wouldn't be total lies either. "I have homework that Ms. Holiday assigns—Ms. Holiday is my tutor," he clarified. "And that takes up a good chunk of time. Um, other than that I guess I play the piano and the guitar a lot. Oh, I box or run in the afternoons most days." Blaine looked up to see what must have been Kurt's best effort at pretending to look totally fascinated by the completely boring information pouring out if his mouth. "Sometimes I volunteer in the neonatal ward of the hospital… I guess that's about it, really."
Please don't ask why I'm homeschooled. Please don't ask why I'm homeschooled…
Kurt's eyebrows rose with intrigue. "Really? Why the neonatal ward?"
Because I made friends with a bunch of the nurses during the days right after I had my baby and they said I should come back and help out… "I don't know. I guess I just like the atmosphere there. So many happy parents and families."
Kurt beamed. "Aww, see? I knew you had to think the miracle of life was more special than you let on."
Blaine laughed. "Yeah. You got me there, I guess." He took a nervous sip of his coffee. "And helping out there also looks good on college applications."
"Oh my gosh. How glad are you that the application process is all done? I swear, if I had to write one more essay about my greatest role model or whatever, heads would have rolled."
Blaine laughed again, relieved that the conversation had veered away from dangerous territory again. "What are you planning on studying?" he asked, genuinely interested.
"Musical Theatre or Fashion Design. I'm not sure yet, so I made sure everywhere I applied had both programs."
"That's awesome. I've been applying to Music Education programs myself."
"Really? Wow, contributing your talent rather than throwing it in people's faces. That sounds so much more selfless than my major." He laughed.
Blaine laughed too. He was glad when Kurt didn't mock his desired field of study. He was the only one who didn't. In fact, he'd been impressed by it. Blaine supposed that Kurt probably got a lot of criticism for Musical Theatre or Fashion as being impractical too. But that just meant that Kurt understood where he was coming from. For him, it wasn't about making money, it was about dong what he loved and sharing it with the world.
"Hey, it's not throwing it in people's faces if you're genuinely talented. It's bringing people joy, and that's what it's all about, right?"
"That's exactly right," said Kurt. "I'm so glad someone else gets that!" he added, as if reading Blaine's mind. "So, where have you applied?"
"Well I applied to schools all over the place, but I'll probably just end up at OSU."
"Why OSU if you applied all over?" Kurt asked quizzically.
Because that's where my baby daddy goes and I'm expected to shack up with him and not cause any more problems. "Because my parents just really want me to go there. They're alumni. You know, school pride and all that."
Kurt continued in an understanding tone. "Yeah, I'm kind of in the same boat. Not with my parents being alumni, but I'll probably go someplace close too."
"Is that what you want to do?"
Kurt sighed. "Not really. My first choice would definitely be anywhere in New York. But my dad had a heart attack earlier this year and I now feel like I probably shouldn't go too far away, you know?"
"Oh my god. Kurt, I'm so sorry."
"No, no. Nothing to be sorry for," he replied, waving off the concern. "He's alright, but I would still feel better being closer regardless. We've gotten through a lot together recently. I guess you could say it's been a big year for the Hummels."
Blaine bit his lip at the sudden somber turn the conversation had taken. He couldn't help the huge wave of sympathy he felt for Kurt. This poor guy had gone through something as traumatic as having his father be deathly ill and then he was forced out of his school and away from said father for still unknown reasons. He tried to think of a way to spin the topic back to something a little more positive.
"Well it sounds like you and your dad really must have a great relationship, then," he tried.
Kurt chuckled. "Well, yeah. We definitely do after everything that's happened recently."
"That's great," Blaine said with a grin, trying to suppress the hint of jealousy that tried to flare up. Blaine couldn't even talk to his dad about what socks to wear without sparking an argument let alone everything. Maybe if he could, he wouldn't be so terrified out of his mind about disappointing him at every turn. Blaine sincerely hoped that one day, his and Ollie's relationship could be like Kurt's and his dad's; that Ollie would feel like he could talk to him about anything without fear of judgment. He was glad to know that father-son relationships like that actually existed.
"Yeah," Kurt replied, "I'm really glad I have him. I mean, my step-mom and step-brother are amazing, but I just don't know what I would have done if I lost him."
Blaine nodded his understanding. "That's kind of like me and my mom. Some days I don't know what I'd do without her."
There was a silence in which Blaine could see a hint of sadness come across Kurt's face.
"How about your mom?" Blaine probed. "Are you as close with her as you are with your dad?"
The hint of sadness grew a bit more profound, but Kurt's pleasant demeanor did not fade. "Well I was when I was little, but she actually died when I was eight," he said in a surprisingly matter-of-fact tone. It was the kind of tone one uses when they've explained something a million times and have become numb to it. "Hence the step-mom and brother," he added.
Blaine's mouth fell open just slightly. He was not expecting that answer. When Kurt had mentioned step-relatives, he'd just assumed it was a divorce situation, but this reality was so much worse. He was really becoming amazed with how much Kurt had already gone through in his eighteen years, and he still felt like he didn't even know the half of it.
"Jesus, Kurt…" he began.
"No, no, don't say you're sorry. It's really okay. I've come to terms with it. Life's just not fair sometimes, you know?"
Blaine just nodded again. He certainly did know that. "I just wish you didn't have to go through that."
"Thanks. You're sweet. But, we all have our own battles."
"Yeah, definitely."
Blaine knew all too well about personal battles. Having a baby at sixteen will do that to a person. That, and then breaking up with the other father and spiraling into a sobbing mess of depression will set a person up a lifetime of battles to face.
Blaine thought about telling Kurt about these battles just then. After all, Kurt was being so open and honest with him. It was so easy to talk to Kurt and he seemed so understanding. But then Kurt spoke up again, and the thought was pushed to the back of Blaine's mind once more.
"Oh my God," Kurt said, straightening up slightly in his chair and massaging his temples. "I'm sorry. I didn't know I'd be like, baring my soul to you on this date."
Blaine pulled on a comforting smile. "Don't worry about it. No one's life is perfect sunshine and rainbows all the time," he assured the other boy.
Kurt returned the smile thankfully and brought his hands down from his temples and rested his elbows on the table. Blaine looked at his pale fingers across the table and wondered for just a moment if it would be weird to reach over and take Kurt's hand. Before he could act, though Kurt spoke again.
"Let's move on. You mentioned the piano and the guitar, but how many instruments can you play?" He raised an intrigued eyebrow at Blaine as he took a sip of coffee.
"Well, those are my main two, but I also know my way around the violin, the trumpet, and a little bit of the drums..."
Kurt shifted in his seat as Blaine spoke, leaning forward on his elbows a bit more and boring his gorgeous eyes into the other boy. Blaine could barely hold a coherent thought as he watched the wide neck of Kurt's sweater slip off his shoulder. His eyes trailed down the side of Kurt's long, slender neck and started to roam over the pale, smooth expanse of his bare shoulder. He felt himself stop talking though, when he noticed the purple marks marring Kurt's beautiful skin at the top of his arm.
"Oh my god, Kurt!" he found himself exclaiming as he looked at the marks. They were bruises, clearly. Some still dark purple while less severe ones had faded to an ugly greenish. And they seemed to follow the pattern of a hand. A very large hand. "What happened to your shoulder?"
Kurt immediately scrambled. "Oh, umm…" he said, clearly flustered as he yanked his sweater back up to cover his bruised shoulder. "It's nothing. I just ran into a door. Clumsy. Don't worry about it." He tried to plaster on an everything-is-just-peachy smile, but Blaine didn't buy it for a second.
"No, it's clearly not nothing," he insisted. "Those are bruises. And it looks like a handprint. Did someone grab you?"
"It's… it's really not a big deal." Kurt squirmed in his chair, now clearly trying to avoid eye contact. "Not anymore."
Before giving himself a chance to think better of it, Blaine reached his hand across the table and grabbed Kurt's pale fingers, just as he had been fantasizing about doing just before. Kurt's surprised eyes snapped back up to him at the gesture.
"You can tell me, Kurt," Blaine assured him in a low, gentle voice. "You can tell me anything."
Kurt held his gaze for a moment, looking conflicted. Blaine thought he could make out the beginnings of tears welling up behind the other boy's eyes. It was like they were fighting to get past the guard Kurt had put up.
Finally, Kurt relaxed his hand in Blaine's and even gave it an appreciative squeeze.
"You're sweet, Blaine. I'm really… I'm really not used to people acting so concerned about me. Other than my dad, I guess."
Blaine squeezed his eyebrows together at that. "Of course I'm concerned. You show up here with a huge bruise on you and you expect me to just not worry about it? No way. Tell me what happened. Did someone hurt you?"
A small smile actually played at Kurt's lips at Blaine's declaration of caring. He looked back at the floor before finally letting out a sigh. "I… I don't want any of the guys at school to know," he began.
Blaine leaned more forward in his chair and ran his thumb comfortingly over Kurt's soft knuckles. "You can tell me," he said again. "I won't repeat it to anyone if you don't want me to."
Kurt took a deep breath before beginning again. "It's the reason I had to transfer," he said simply, still looking at the floor. "At McKinley there was… well there was this bully."
A slow burn began to build in Blaine's chest. From that tidbit of information alone, Blaine felt like he had enough anger welling up inside him to get in his car, hightail it to Lima, and find and kill the son of a bitch who dared to lay his hands on Kurt.
"And I guess he decided that he really didn't like that I was gay. It started out with just normal Neanderthal bully crap. Slushies in the face. Shoves into lockers. Bad stuff but nothing unmanageable. Nothing the rest of the glee club didn't go through as well.
"Then it started to get more personal. Name-calling. Following me between classes. Then he got a hold of my cell number somehow and started sending me all these horrible messages. Threats mostly. To cut to the chase, he said… he said he wanted to kill me."
"Oh my god," Blaine uttered, and he grasped Kurt's hand tighter.
"And no one would do anything about it!" Kurt added voice rising just a bit. "I mean, when I finally told my dad, he was obviously pissed, but he's only one guy, you know? He told the school administration but they said they couldn't do anything because the abuse from the messages didn't technically happen on school grounds."
"What?" Blaine sputtered, the slow heat in his chest now burning like an open flame. "That's bullshit!"
Kurt let out a humorless laugh. "I know, right? So basically, I was powerless against him. My friends just told me to ignore him, but how do you ignore the fact that you don't feel safe walking down the halls of your own school?"
Blaine clenched his jaw as he listened. "So what happened? How'd you get the bruises?" he asked slowly, hoping it wasn't too much prying and that Kurt wouldn't hate him for making him say.
Kurt shrugged. "I decided to confront him. In hindsight, it was really stupid to do it alone. I mean, the guy is easily twice my size. But I just couldn't take it anymore and I didn't know what else to do."
Again, Blaine nodded his understanding. His heart was beating hard at the thought of Kurt being put into a dangerous situation like that.
Kurt continued. "He called me a name in the hallway, so I followed him into the locker room and asked him what his problem was." Kurt went silent and stared back at the floor.
"And he hit you?" Blaine guessed after a moment of quiet. "Shoved you?"
Kurt shook his head. "He kissed me."
Blaine felt his mouth fall open. The flame of anger inside him immediately erupted into a full on explosion. In that moment, he had never hated anyone more on this earth.
"He kissed me and then he grabbed me and pinned me against the lockers. I wanted to scream for help, but I was so scared and shocked that all I could do was just stand there."
"Kurt…" Blaine began, but Kurt just kept talking, his expression becoming almost catatonic as he recalled the events.
"He held me still by my shoulder and kissed me again and… he just squeezed so hard…"
"Kurt, stop. You don't have to say any more," Blaine assured him, reaching forward and taking Kurt's free hand in his, so he was rubbing soothing circles into the backs of both the other boy's hands with his thumbs.
"Finn came in then. My stepbrother. He was looking for me. He pushed him off me and punched him in the face."
"I like your stepbrother already," Blaine commented.
The tiniest of smiles came across Kurt's face. "Yeah. I'm really lucky to have him."
Blaine returned the fragile smile as best he could, trying to let Kurt know he was okay here. That he wasn't being judged. That he really cared.
"Anyway," Kurt continued again, "We reported the whole thing to the administration."
"And? Did they expel him?" Blaine asked hopefully.
Kurt's face saddened once again. "No. They suspended him for two weeks. And Finn for one for fighting."
"What?" was all Blaine could muster at that ridiculous injustice. "He should be in jail for that kind of thing!"
Kurt shrugged. "Yeah, probably. So, needless to say, my dad was furious. He pulled me out of school immediately. This was Wednesday. I was moved in at Dalton by Friday night. Emergency Transfer."
Blaine remembered then what Wes had said Friday night about Kurt moving to Dalton for sanctuary. He'd had to move for his own safety. It all made sense now. Why Kurt had been so skittish about telling him he was gay. Why he got so emotional when Blaine told him there was no bullying at Dalton. It all made perfect sense.
"I am so sorry you had to go through any of that," Blaine said humbly.
Kurt shrugged once more. "It's okay. The worst is over." He looked down at their intertwined hands on the table. "I can already tell I'm in a much batter place now. Things are definitely looking up."
Blaine couldn't help the smile that took over his face at the comment. He really couldn't believe how positive Kurt was being after all of that. And that he was even willing or able to go out on a date so soon after such a traumatic event. If there was one thing that Blaine was learning form time spent with Kurt thus far, it was that this boy was extremely resilient.
"You're so brave," he voiced aloud.
The other boy's cheeks flushed a bit and his smile became more genuine. The sight warmed Blaine's heart, happy he could make Kurt feel good.
Brave. Courage. The words pinged around in Blaine's mind like pinballs. He knew he needed to have some courage here. Courage like his grandfather told him to have. Courage like Kurt had. Here was this beautiful boy sitting in front of him, telling him his most private business. Telling him things he wouldn't dare let anyone else know yet. All probably under the assumption that this sharing was a two-way street, and yet Blaine still sat there, unable to force the words of his biggest, most important secret forward from his lips.
He knew he needed to tell Kurt he hadn't been honest. He knew he deserved the truth from Blaine, especially after all the shit he'd been through and how trusting he'd been.
And Kurt had even said he liked kids and wanted to have them soon. He said he was a fan of the idea of young parents and that his parents were even teen parents. He couldn't take the news that badly, could he? He would probably understand better than most people their age. It was even probably early on enough that Kurt wouldn't even be too mad that he'd lied to him about it. As long as he came clean. As long as he came clean right now…
"Seriously. Every time we talk I just get more and more impressed. You handle everything so gracefully," Blaine added, making Kurt squeeze Blaine's hands just a little bit tighter.
"Thank you, Blaine," he replied. "I try."
It was the moment of truth. Literally. Blaine took a deep breath as he stared into those blue eyes that had been on his mind for two days straight. It was now or never. He just hoped that Kurt would handle this news as gracefully as he seemed to handle everything else.
"Kurt, you've been so real and so honest. It's really incredible. And I feel like I owe it to you to be the same. I have to tell you something," he stated plainly, barely concealing the nervous tremor in his voice as his heart pounded hard in his chest. He was vaguely aware that his palms were probably beginning to sweat in Kurt's soft, perfect hands, but he didn't dare let go.
"Yeah? What is it?" Kurt asked with a quizzical tilt of his head.
Courage, Blaine told himself. He breathed deeply again.
"I haven't been completely honest with you."
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "About what?"
"Well, you told me why you transferred, but I haven't been totally clear about why exactly I'm homeschooled," he said in a nervous preamble.
Kurt nodded. "I've noticed," he said simply. Not menacingly, not even annoyed. Just simply, like he knew Blaine would eventually come around and tell him when he was ready.
Blaine let out a small anxious laugh, just hoping he didn't keel over from a nerve-induced stroke right then and there. "Right. Well, the reason I left Dalton after sophomore year was because I…"
The bell on the door to the shop jingled and Blaine glanced up at the sound. Then he froze. His mouth opened slightly in a small gasp and he could feel his eyes bug.
There, standing just inside the door, was Sebastian. He stood with his green eyes peering up at the menu board. And there, hoisted up against his hip, playing with the lapel of his Papa's coat, was his son. Sebastian and Oliver. Right there, before his very eyes while he sat on a date with Kurt.
Kurt. To whom he was just about to tell everything, while everything was standing just about 20 feet away.
Blaine gulped.
Oh. Shit.